• You forgot what you did yesterday, and it wasn’t due to an over-indulgence of alcohol!”] I like to keep a diary which I have done for years. The problem is when I go to write it up; sometimes I forget what I have done and had to try to work my way backwards to jog my memory!
  • Instead of having a bit of ‘afternoon delight’ you end up nodding off! You know the scene, you have got the house to yourselves, a good couple of hours of uninterrupted time alone to do whatever you want, so you fall asleep on the settee!
  • The only time you wear something ‘trendy’, it is accidental. You are at that stage now where comfort is a must; forget fashion, you want practical! So when you do put on something that is trendy, it is more likely that after 20 years it is finally back in fashion!
  • You still talk about ‘records’,’discos’ and ‘going to the pictures’. Most of the youth of today do not know what a record is, and have never had the pleasure of listening to their favourite song jumping about all over the place where the record had become scratched or warped! Kids don’t go to discos (unless it is the school disco for some reason), they go to clubs (well at least I think so as I am way old to frequent such places)!  I still talk about ‘going to the pictures to see a film.’ No, that is old hat. It is called a MOVIE. Pah!
  • You type out a text message in full. Now I am pretty ‘with it’ I know an emoticon when I see one, and I can even do a smiley face. However, I do not understand all this shorthand typing the young favour when sending a text. Even worse is the lack of punctuation!
  • You are getting ready to go to bed when the young are just getting ready to go out for the night! You know what it’s like you got up early, work was busy, by the end of the day you are shattered, and end up in bed no later than 10 pm! Now for young people, the night is just getting started at 10 pm. They have had a few drinks, and are raring to go, ready to have a good time. When you are getting up early the next morning (another sign of being past-it), they are just falling into their beds!
  • Your daughter tells you that her friends’ parents are all in their 30s and are so much more fun and laid back, you are the age of their fuddy-duddy grandparents with your practical clothes and sensible shoes designed for comfort rather than fashion.
  • You are always reminiscing about the ‘old days’! Yes, things were so much better back then, of course. Life was rosy, and we never got bored; just a stick and a bit of string and we were happy! Music was so much better, summers that much warmer and felt that they lasted longer. The problem is, your kids have heard it all before and are not impressed.