I try using Social Networks
To bring people over to my blog
But being so tech-illiterate
I feel like I’m lost in the fog.
Linked in is more like locked out
I don’t really know what to do
Twitter makes me bitter
As I haven’t got a clue!
Pinterest lost my interest
Many months ago
On Instagram, I have no likes
Because I am so slow.
Facebook I can cope with
I don’t get in a rage
I’d love for you to visit
And ‘like’ my Facebook page!
A beautiful sunrise and inspirational post from Sue.
“I can’t remember ever actually watching a dawn,” said my son in a plaintive little voice. He had been looking at some of my dawn photos, taken that morning from my doorstep. He …
Source: Town and country sunrise… | Sue Vincent’s Daily Echo
A sister is a good friend
Who knows you very well
A sister is a confidante
To whom secrets you can tell
A sister is a shoulder
To cry on when you’re sad
A sister is a comfort
For when things turn out bad
A sister is a treasure
More precious than pure gold
A sister can be relied on
Whatever the future holds
A sister will support you
In all you say and so
A sister is a Godsend
And lucky me to have two!
Selfies seem to be so popular at the moment, especially with the young. Now I am not very photogenic and am not that keen on having my picture taken at the best of times. My daughter, however, is just the opposite!
She loves to take selfies whenever we go anywhere and very often tries to get me in on it as well. When one of my best friends got married last year Miss Hap took a load of selfies at our table. I ended up being in several of the shots, either stuffing myself with food and looking like Bessie Bunter, or having some sort of gormless expression on my face. (I know that might be normal for me but I don’t want her bandying the photos around her friends for their mocking pleasure)!
Now I don’t mind it when she uses one of the funny apps on the phone to scrunch up the face and twist it around a bit so that you end up resembling some evil pixie type of creature as that is really quite amusing. What I do hate though is the ‘Fatify’ app or whatever it is called!
You might have noticed that I am not the slimmest of people, but by the time this app has finished with me, I have gained yet another three chins! Likewise the ‘Oldify’ app, that is hideous as well. Having said that they are all in good fun and thank goodness she sees them as that way too.
In my day, ‘the camera never lied’ but of course now that is far from the truth. We have all heard of these ‘celebrities’ that have photoshopped their already slender bodies in order to shave off a few inches here and there, plus erase some ‘unsightly’ wrinkle, or mark. The end result is a far from realistic image of a supposedly ‘perfect’ person.
Luckily for me, Mr Grump likes a woman with ‘a bit of meat on her bones.’ I am aware that I may have a little too much to be healthy and for that reason need to lose some weight. I do not make a big thing out of it though as I don’t want to make weight an issue which might start influencing my daughter.
My daughter is extremely active and spends loads of time running around, The fact that she is only 14 years old as well, I do not think she should be overly worried at this point about her weight, and thank goodness she doesn’t seem to be. I do try to encourage her to be a little healthier though.
I love this ‘selfie’ of myself and my daughter, it is my favourite picture, despite being a couple of years old now. She has done something to it with an app, but it only alters the colour, it doesn’t add or take anything away. I hope she continues to be body confident, enjoys her youth and natural beauty.
I might have mentioned before that I am pretty awkward at the best of times, but particularly in social situations, I get myself worked up over the ‘greeting’ stage of the evening, so that certainly doesn’t bode well for the rest of the night.
Although I am a very affectionate person, I am not overly tactile, so I may come across as aloof or stand-offish which couldn’t be further from the truth! (Funnily enough, I am different with kids and with my elderly patients, as I don’t find it hard at all to behave more naturally with them, probably because they are so non-judgemental)!
When being introduced to someone for the first time, I am inevitably nervous and, particularly at a job interview, my hands will be all clammy, and I dread it when they go in for the handshake. Now I was taught that a limp handshake is a sign of a weak person, so of course, I clasp their hand firmly and then dread it in case they recoil and surreptitiously wipe their hand on their clothes when they think I’m not looking!
We Brits tend to just go for the one kiss if we are greeting someone; even that can be an ordeal! Do you actually kiss the person on the cheek? Should you air kiss them? What if you bump heads if you both go the same way?! Should you hold their hand or hug them as well? The opportunity for getting it wrong and making a fool of yourself is endless!
Then you have the Europeans; some kiss both cheeks; some go for three kisses, oh there are just too many choices! What’s wrong with a friendly “Hello” and a little wave?! Mind you; I have even got that wrong on occasion as well!
The ordeal is not over though, of course not; you have got the whole saying goodbye thing to go through as well….
Have you ever done that kind of circling each other thing at the end of the evening? You know, when friends that you know quite well have been to visit and are now about to leave. You go to say goodbye but are not sure whether to give them a kiss, hug or a wave, so you dance about for a bit, waiting for your cue from them. It doesn’t come, so you decide to go in for the kiss as they give you a wave as they turn around, leaving your peck on the cheek in mid-air!!!
No wonder I’m a hermit!
Isn’t it strange how much TV can influence our lives? It can educate, shock, entertain; bring us to tears even; and you could get all of that in just one episode of your favourite soap!
Who remembers, Anne Kirkbride or Deirdre Barlow as she was known to many? She burst onto our screens 46 years ago as a fresh-faced 17-year-old. She had the nation gripped with her numerous marriages, and relationships, before finally ending up with dear old Ken (again). Even our Prime Minister at the time, became involved when one storyline sent her off to the clink for a bit by demanding that she be freed!
It was the same with Dallas. I can still remember the ‘who shot JR?’ saga. People even had t-shirts emblazoned with ‘I shot JR.’ Staying with Dallas, what about the uproar when Bobby died, and then came back a few years later, clean and sparkly from a nice shower.(He didn’t even have that wrinkled skin you get after a while, let alone a few years)
Many people have grown up with some of these characters, and they almost feel like they are part of the family.We laugh with them, cry with them, and can’t wait to tune in to the next episode to see what they will get up to. Some fans even find it difficult to separate fact from fiction and expect the actors to behave like their characters in real life!
It has long been a tradition in the UK for our soaps to have spectacular Christmas episodes, we can’t wait! You know there’s going to be a MEGA disaster of EPIC proportions! What will it be?? Will it be a tragic accident that wipes out half of the cast? Will it be a shocking revelation? Or will there be an almighty punch-up? Whatever it is , you can guarantee there will be legions of fans, glued to their TVs in order to find out!
How many of us have also been guilty of using TV to ‘babysit’ our kids? I have to own up to this one. When my daughter was very young, I have plonked her down in front of the TV, watching one of the kids’ channels, enthralled by Mr Tumble or Dora the Explorer, whilst I have got on with a bit of housework or something. She has never had a long attention span, so I used to make the most of however long I got.
Reality TV has really taken off now too. Oh how we love to see poor unfortunate people (mainly celebrities) making utter fools of themselves, either being locked up in a house with a load of other people who they have nothing in common with, for a few weeks, or being sent to a jungle , again with others who they don’t know and have very little in common with. Deprive them of a few home comforts, make them compete with each other for ‘treats’ , then sit back and watch it all kick off!
I am also rather partial to the crime channels. I don’t know why, but they fascinate me. It is amazing how they uncover the whole story from start to finish of a crime that has been committed, sometimes with just the smallest amount of evidence. I am surprised though at the amount of spouses that get ‘bumped off’ for the insurance money, and the sly and devious methods used to try to fool everyone that the death is genuine! Hmmmm, STILL haven’t got Mr Grump insured…..
Happy viewing, I’m off to sort out some paperwork!
There seems to be an expectation that a woman should look nice all the time. Yes, that is all well and good, but for me, even if I start off looking nice it doesn’t last long. My hair will get knotty and become more and more kinked as the day goes on; if I am wearing makeup, I will inevitably forget and rub my eye or something, thereby smudging mascara halfway down my face, and end up looking like something out of a horror show.
If I wear heels, it is a disaster waiting to happen. However, it does not stop me as they are so elegant – only not when you go over on the side of the shoe, or get the heel caught in a grate, carry on walking to find you a bit lop-sided and minus a shoe. Worse still, there never seems to be any grip on a pair of heels, and if there is a slippery surface, God help me! The very least I will do is skate and skid for a bit, but more often than not, end up in a heap on the floor, dazed, legs akimbo, and knickers on show to all and sundry!
All that is when I do make an effort. There are many times when I do not wear make-up. I must frighten people (especially the patients when I am at work) with my pale, pasty skin, and dark circles under my eyes. I also have a ‘determined’ kind of a walk. I can’t help it, but I have shoulders like an American Football player, and someone once referred to me as ‘stocky’! How bloody rude, stocky! Anyway, although I am short, I probably look a dreadful fright if I were approaching someone from the opposite direction, barging my way forward, ghostly pale, with my Medusa-style hair flying about!
At least we can wear high heels though if we want to, They can make us look taller, our legs look longer and slimmer, and give us a sexy ‘wiggle’ in our walk (well for some women they can). Poor old men dip out a bit here. Especially as some men still feel a bit uncomfortable if they are shorter than their female partner. Now, unless they have got the flair to pull off a high-heeled boot like Prince used to, or Simon Cowell still does, or wear ‘lifts’ in their shoes like Tom Cruise, then they are just going to have to lump it, or stand on a box when being photographed!
Likewise corsets body shapers, Spanx etc. A woman can try to hide a few inches or look a bit slimmer by cramming our flesh into instruments of torture, or rather, specially made underwear that is designed to flatter the figure, (even if cutting off the circulation).We also have the uplift bras, and chicken fillet things that ‘enhance’ our boobs, while men don’t have that luxury; the best a man can hope to do is shove a shock down his underpants or something. A word of warning here though, there is no point is wearing all this stuff if you are out on the pull because there is going to be a lot of disappointment later on when you unleash the flab and reveal the fried eggs and – well, you get the picture!
However, being a woman does have some advantages… I have, on more than one occasion (more so when younger) acted ‘The Dumb Blonde’ in order to get some help. My friend used to have this really old banger of a car, which broke down more often than it actually went. Many is the time I have had to get out and try to bump start it, or we would open the bonnet and look helplessly inside (none of us knew what we were looking for). I have not refused help if some kindly gentleman has seen us and offered to help push or see if he could work out what the problem is, Thinking about it, I didn’t have to act the dumb blonde, I was one! (As far as cars are concerned at least).
I do love being a woman!
I have been pretty negative about the process of aging recently, as you can see here and how I am starting to feel (not to mention look) old. I have decided that there must be some positives to being older, and here are a few things that I have noticed….
You can say what you ‘bloody well like’, in the words of my 85-year-old mother! Yes, once you reach a ripe old age you have earned the right to say what you like about anything; regardless of whether or not it causes offence or hurts anyone’s feelings. I have been in the supermarket with Mum when she has told the assistant on the deli counter that she ‘doesn’t want that plastic ham’ or she’s ‘not paying that much for a bit of cheese’ etc. They can’t decide whether or not she is joking but soon get the message when she turns on her heel and just stomps (well hobbles nowadays unfortunately) off! I. or my sisters (whoever has the pleasure of being with her) are left cringing in her wake, rolling our eyes at the bewildered assistant.
She likes to say what she thinks about members of the family too. Either directly, once she told me that a trouser suit I had bought would look better on my sister as ‘she has got the figure for it’. Very true, but I was gutted, and never wore it again! Or indirectly, as in when someone has left the room and before they are even out of earshot she will remark about how much weight they have ‘piled on’ or how awful their outfit is!
Another advantage is selective hearing. This can come in very handy when you don’t want to do something. For example, my Mum hates putting her heating on, and would rather sit there shivering under a blanket than be nice and cosy in a warm room. So when any of us walk in to her little icebox, the conversation goes something like this.
“Why haven’t you got your heating on?”
“What?”
” I SAID, WHY HAVEN’T YOU GOT YOUR HEATING ON?”
“I cant’ hear a bloody word you are saying!”
Leaning over and bellowing in her ear,
“WHY IS THE HEATING NOT ON?!”
” Can you put my hearing aid in, it’s over there?”
By now, I have lost the will to go on, but will dutifully get the hearing aid which is whistling and shrieking, and put it in for her, and then just go and turn the heating on myself. It’s easier.
However, if I had whispered to my sister a bit of gossip about someone, she would have heard that and put her two penn’orth in!
When you are older, and supposedly wiser, you are an asset to any quiz team! There are always questions about the old days. Games like Trivial Pursuit and other question based games normally require a good range of general knowledge, and of historical events.It stands to reason that n older person on the team is a bonus (providing they have their hearing aids in, of course)!
You can dress with abandon, wearing whatever you like in whatever colour combinations you choose when you are older. Who cares about being colour co-ordinated any more. Many elderly people I have encountered (which amounts to quite a few), are very uninhibited in their dress sense. Why shouldn’t you wear reds, green and blues ALL at the same time! Who gives a toss about what others think?!!
You can nod off at the drop of a hat. Think Grandpa Simpson here, and his amazing ability to fall asleep, even mid-sentence! Yes, when you are older,nobody thinks it odd if you fall asleep at inappropriate times. How great is that? If you have a social function that you are obligated to go to but are not keen, it doesn’t matter! You can just have a snooze whenever you want and no-one will think you are rude. Far from it, they will probably think you are very sweet and endearing!
Those are just a few of the benefits I have come up with to being older…. are there any I have missed?
I read a post a short time ago by the wonderful Debby where she used a writing prompt from a journal she bought. This inspired me to buy my own but on a totally different subject (mine is all about cultivating joy and well-being).
The prompt for yesterday was to write a joke. Hmmm, I am not good at jokes, unless they are very rude or very silly. I love the ‘knock knock’ jokes, and the ‘what do you call?’ ones. As in:
‘What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?’ Answer: Doug!
‘What do you call a man without a shovel on his head?’ Answer: Douglas!! (it’s all in the pronunciation)!
I won’t bore you with any others as they are really old jokes and not that funny unless you are me, who finds them hilarious!
Anyway, I decided that as I couldn’t tell any jokes I would talk a little about British humour instead.
The first thing that springs to mind is the fact that we love innuendo, double entendre, and a good pun (or even a bad pun, anything goes)! The ‘Carry On Films’ are a veritable feast if you like that kind of thing, with their silly storylines, and crazy character names such as a surgeon named Dr Carver, and a young doctor called Dr Nookey ( a British euphemism for sex). I’m thinking this must have had an early subconscious influence on my choice of career! They always had such fun in the hospitals in these films.
The Sun Newspaper loves puns and innuendoes too, and they have had some famous (or infamous) headlines over the years. For example, when Elton John and David Furnish married, their headline was ‘Elton Takes David Up The Aisle’ and ‘How Do You Solve A Problem Like Korea’ which needs no explanation!
Sarcasm features pretty heavily in our humour armoury too and it is always appreciated whenever we hear it. Comments like’ I’m returning your nose, dear, I found it in my business’ and one (of many) from Winston Churchill ‘ I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly!’ Another favourite is when parents say things like, ‘I think you have forgotten to put a skirt on’ or ‘can you plaster on any more makeup?’ to their teenaged daughters when they are going out!
This can get a bit confusing though as sometimes we say something straight-faced but mean the exact opposite, such as ‘Oh, lovely’ it’s raining again, I can’t wait to go out in it!’ or even worse. ‘Yes, green is definitely your colour’ when it is obvious that it looks hideous!Mind you, it could be worse if they went the whole hog and said that ‘green is definitely your colour, it matches your complexion!’
One of my favourite types of humour is the observational kind. We have several comedians who are brilliant at this, Michael McIntyre and Peter Kaye are so good at turning the ordinary situations into massive belly laughs!
We have a fixation about class too, and that often comes out in our humour. There was a famous Monty Python Sketch that they showed us at Uni about the British Class system which you can see here.
I suppose our most common type of humour is the self-deprecating type, of the hapless idiot always messing things up. We do love to put ourselves down, then have a major complex if anyone agrees with us. What a mixed-up lot we are!
I hope I have managed to give you some laughs despite the rubbish jokes at the beginning!
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