Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 479: Tuesday Tidbit. Seven Embarrassing Sexual Fails! (18+) — September 1, 2015

Episode 479: Tuesday Tidbit. Seven Embarrassing Sexual Fails! (18+)

Sex is fraught with the potential for embarrassment, and a good sense of humour very often ‘comes in handy’  (if you’ll pardon the pun) to deal with some of the most common cringeworthy moments that most of us have encountered at some stage in our sexual shenanigans!

  1. Things are heating up, the pace is getting faster, and more passionate, then…. PARPPPPP. Oh No, someone has let one off! You both freeze as the horror of the moment sinks in; hopefully things will resume pretty quickly afterwards and the mood is not lost!
  2. Ready for a bit of bedroom action, everything is going well….kissing and touching,  breathing is getting heavier, your body is responding to the sensuous caresses but something is not quite right. You have noticed that your partner has backed off just  a little. You are getting to the point now where touching is not enough, and as you reach for him, you realise that he is not quite ‘ready’. This is a bit of a tricky situation. You could try other things to ‘perk things up’  but sometimes it is just ‘flogging a dead horse’, or you could sulk, turn your back and seethe! The other option of course, is to just snuggle up together and reassure that it doesn’t matter.
  3. If you have quite sensitive skin on your face, this one could be a problem. After a long, long night of hot and heavy action, and hours of passionate kissing, you might wake up in the morning with what looks like friction burns on your chin! I have actually had this happen to me and have had to think up some pretty (lame) excuse at work the next day as to how I got ‘that awful burn’ on my chin.
  4. Waking up the next morning only to find there is a patch of blood on the sheets! Mother Nature had paid you an unexpected visit during the night. Mortifying!
  5. Feeling sick just when things are getting going. This is really awkward as you cannot enjoy what is happening if there is a possibility of puking all over your partner! They won’t appreciate it either.
  6. You have got a bit of unexpected child-free time that you decide to take advantage of during the day. You have a bit of ‘afternoon delight’ with your partner, and as you are lying together in the afterglow, you can hear sounds of kids playing outside. You realise that all the bedroom windows are open and that half the street probably heard what you have been up to. Cringe!
  7. Whilst showing off your agility and flexibility getting into all sorts of interesting positions, you are attacked by CRAMP. It’s no good, you twist this way and that way trying to alleviate it, then end up leaping up and hopping about yowling in pain as it won’t go away! Passion is killed!
Episode 452: Tuesday Tidbit. Illicit Love (18+) — August 11, 2015

Episode 452: Tuesday Tidbit. Illicit Love (18+)

Meaningful glances across the room

Secret smiles and a wink

A slight nod of the head signals that now is the time

To make an escape from the crowd

And go somewhere more private…

A hand reaches out and pulls you in

Now you can feast on your desire

Fevered longing, unleashed

Hands, frenzied, groping

Tugging at zips, pushing down straps

Hungry mouths with tongues entwined

Pushing up clothes

Pulling down clothes

The need for contact

Skin against skin

Wanting more















Straightening clothing

Smoothing hair into place

Putting the ironing board back

That got knocked over in the process

Checking the coast is clear

Sneaking out one by one

Back to the party

No-one has noticed

“Have you met my husband?”

Episode 376: In Sickness and In Health — June 16, 2015

Episode 376: In Sickness and In Health

Today I was looking after a new patient that had arrived on the ward last night. She was very friendly and chatty, and despite having a few medical problems seemed to be in good spirits. She was pretty much bed bound due to severe lower back pain, especially on movement, and also had a long-term catheter in situ.

I had received a call regarding a PET scan that was being arranged for this patient at a nearby hospital for tomorrow, and was making the necessary arrangements for her transportation there, plus staff to escort her.

When I went into the bay, she proudly introduced me to her husband. I informed them both about the scan, and asked her whether or not she was claustrophobic, if she could lay down for 30 mins reasonably still, and did she mind needles. Her husband looked at me and whilst stroking her arm told me that she will have any test or procedure necessary in order that she would be well enough to go home with him.

He then told me that he looks after her, washing, dressing and emptying the catheter bags, explaining that he does not want any carers going in, as he will always be there. He then said that he would ‘do anything and everything, whatever it takes, just as long as it keeps her with him, and he doesn’t lose her.’

She looked at him lovingly, and I have to say, I was trying to swallow the lump in my throat, Yes, I know we marry  ‘for better or worse’ and ‘in sickness and in health.’ However, the reality of it for some people, though not romantic is true love!

Episode 269: Mixing Business With Pleasure! — April 4, 2015

Episode 269: Mixing Business With Pleasure!

Looking for love can be quite a daunting task. Some people prefer the more traditional methods such as going out to pubs, clubs and other places hoping to get lucky and meet that special person. Some rely on friends to fix them up with someone who they know, and arrange a kind of ‘blind date’ scenario.

Other people go for the more modern approach, internet dating being the most popular. There are many websites now that are dedicated for the sole purpose of finding your soul mate. Some might be a bit pricey though and put people off.

Now, you might want to use your initiative and find your own way of attracting your perfect partner. It all depends what you are looking for in your life-long lover, as to how you go about it,

So you have to admire a builder who decided that he would take matters into his own hands to find romance. Actually, he needed an apprentice as well to teach them his trade so that they could help him at work. He had a sudden brain wave to combine the two! Why waste time on writing out separate ads when you can get both for the price of one!

Now this man (called John) did not have a list of qualities, traits or preferences for his potential paramour, no indeed! As long as they were female and between the ages of 30-40 that would do for him! What would he offer in return?

A ‘craft that would change your life!’ Now there’s an offer  you can’t refuse! Whether your life would be changed for the better or not was not stipulated, as John is a man of very few words, and even fewer emotions it seems. although no-one could doubt the fact that he is obviously extremely practical and economical.

It would be wonderful if John found himself the apprentice/partner/lover that he wanted, but I am not holding out much hope!

Episode 156: Love Is In The Air…. — February 10, 2015

Episode 156: Love Is In The Air….

With Valentine’s Day looming ever closer, some single people are trying to make themselves a little more appealing in order that perhaps they might find a bit of romance for the big night!

It doesn’t matter how old you are, we all like to feel that we have still got some sort of physical attraction left in us, even if it is a little past its sell by date, and needs a bit  of perking up.

One of my old ladies is 100 years old. Up until now she has lived at home with just a couple of visits from carers during the day. She can walk out to the loo with her Zimmer frame, but occasionally gets lost on the way back to her bed area,

On Saturday, I noticed that she had done a detour back from the loo and was talking to our male charge nurse at the nurse’s station. After a while I walked back to her bed with her and teased her about chatting up the men,

“Oh you don’t have to be jealous dear, at my age you take what you can get!” It had brightened her day talking to him for a while. I don’t suppose she gets to see many men, and she obviously enjoys their company. Whilst in hospital she is making the most of it; I know she loves it when the young male physio comes to see her.

One poor 82-year-old woman is not so lucky with attracting a man, and apparently decided to do something about it. She went into a pharmacy and helped herself to a ‘Sexiest Fantasies’ bottle of perfume. Now she might have already got a man for all we know, and with the release of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ may have decided to squirt a bit of that on before indulging in God know what with her partner!

Somehow I don’t think so, and unfortunately she was caught as she left the store, and ended up giving it back, and getting arrested for her sauce! I can’t help feeling a bit sorry for her, as the perfume promised that it was ‘as addictive and seductive as the woman that wears it’. She wanted to bring out her inner ‘sex goddess’ but got thwarted before she could even get started!

It just goes to show that no matter how old you are there is still a bit of room left for romance, even though it may end up being just a fantasy!

Episode 128: Love and Microwaves! — January 30, 2015

Episode 128: Love and Microwaves!

It’s just over a fortnight now until Valentine’s Day, The shops are all decked out with hearts and flowers, cute cuddly toys and balloons. This year I have even seen rose petals, and little heart-shaped cutters; presumably for giving that special someone their morning toast on a tray strewn with petals. Chance would be a fine thing!

When I was younger I used to get very excited about Valentine’s Day. I was always desperate for the post to arrive on that morning, bringing with it armfuls of cards from my many admirers. The problem was mine and my younger sister’s birthday is on the 16th, so any cards that were sent would be hidden by my Mum with the assumption that they were birthday cards (which they always were)! It didn’t stop me thinking on my birthday that there would be a few Valentines in amongst the other cards (There weren’t)!

When I was a teenager, things did improve a bit. I used to hang around with this boy who was a couple of years older than me. we went everywhere together, and were always around each other’s houses. We were just friends though. However, he always sent me a Valentine card, as well as a rose or a heart-shaped chocolate egg or something, and it was signed by ‘Mr X.’ It didn’t take me long to deduce who Mr X was, so from then on I sent him one signed by ‘Miss X!’ (I have never been graced with a wild sense of imagination!)

My family always teased me saying that he fancied me, but I took no notice, He had his girlfriends and I had boyfriends over the years, but we were still friends and the cards still came. I did get a shock one year though, when I had left home to join the Army. On Valentine’s morning I got the usual card sent to me by Mr X, which was sweet as we still kept in touch – but the day after I got another one. This was in the same handwriting but on the inside of the card this time he had just written ‘I love you’!

So he did fancy me! Problem was, I was just starting out on a new life, and I didn’t feel the same at that point so I never made any mention of it! Neither did he, but we kind of lost touch for a little while after that!

I did get other Valentine’s cards, and the odd bunch of flowers at later times in my life, but I soon realised that there is no set time or date to show someone you love how much you appreciate them and love them. Yes, it is nice to get chocolates or flowers, but when Mr Grump is in the right mood,(or in the doghouse) I will get those anyway!

In fact a couple of years ago we ended up buying a microwave for Valentine’s day! Ours had broken, and we saw this really nice one that we liked so we bought that as a mutual Valentines’s present to each other.

Who says that romance is dead?

Episode 82: Counting Blessings…. — December 21, 2014

Episode 82: Counting Blessings….

Sometimes coming from a large family can have its drawbacks. Having 5 brothers and sisters as well as 10 nephews and nieces means that it is very rare that we are all in the same place at the same time, especially when one of my brothers lives in Malaysia. The children are all getting older now (Miss Hap is the youngest at 11 years old), and have lives of their own, but although we have had some squabbles, and fallings out, we are generally there when it matters.

Today it was lovely to see my sister-in-law, who I have known since I was 11 years old. She is only a couple of years older than me but had a major health scare this year after being diagnosed with bowel cancer. Luckily for her, it was spotted reasonably early, and although she had to go through major surgery, she is now on the road to recovery. She is the type of person who loves to laugh, and is always a pleasure to be around. Even when I visited her in hospital after she had surgery, i was astounded to see her sitting up, bright and breezy chatting with a friend. When I went to say goodbye, I leaned over the bed to give her a kiss (not something I normally do, I am not much of a ‘kissy’ person) and being short, couldn’t reach over the bed rails. so put my hand on the bed to get some leverage only to find it was her tummy! Even though it must have hurt, she laughed at my stupidity,so as not to make me feel bad!

Her three children (well two of them are adults) were very concerned about her, and were brilliant at looking after her, visiting and going to the numerous appointments she had to attend, before and after surgery.They are a credit to her and my brother, and the way they brought them up.

My older sister has just had my daughter staying  for the weekend, taking her Christmas shopping, and spending time with her. She is very thoughtful in that way; whenever the circus or a fair comes by, she always takes her. The same goes for the Pantomime. I remember the one a couple of years ago I went to with them, it was hilarious. We shouted out more than the kids did!

My middle brother is like Peter Pan, in the fact that he looks so young for his age, He loves his smart suits and designer clothes, and is a bit of a fitness fanatic. I remember when I wanted to join the Army, I had to do a basic fitness test in order to get in, but as I hated running would need to get a fair bit of practice in if I had any hope of running a mile in the time specified. My brother not only came with me to the Army Careers Centre when I was first interested in joining  (but too young at 16) but when I did get past the interview and had to pass this fitness test, he came out jogging with me, giving me advice and tips so that I passed when I came to do it.

Two of my nieces (one from each sister) I am very close to, and to me, they are both like my own daughters. The elder one although married and in her 30’s now I still call by the nickname I gave her when she was little (sometimes even on Facebook)! I was 15 years old when she was born and having always loved children used to get up with her at night sometimes and give her bottle. I remember when she was a baby and had this HUGE pram. My mum and sister had gone to town with her but had to walk as the pram was too big to go on the bus. When I finished school it was near town so I would walk in to get my bus from there.. However, on occasion my Mum and sister, having trotted around for a while and had become tired, would get me to walk the pram home whilst they caught the bus!  In those days (early 80’s) I got rather a lot of dirty looks pushing a pram whilst in my school uniform!

My other niece who is now in her late 20’s was a little terror as a young child! She has long blonde hair and blue eyes and looks like a little angel, but can be a little bugger! Her eyes would flash and you knew she was going to do something naughty but not what it was! I remember taking her out when she was about two. She was on her reins but would keep spinning round on them trying to break loose! Anyway, this day we were in town, and she decided to try out a new expression she had learned at the top of her voice,

“F***ing Hell!”she yelled. People glared at us so she said it again. I couldn’t believe it, where the hell had she heard that and why wait till now to try it out? Anyway I told her off and said I would tell her Mum as I was mortified that people would think she was mine (bizarrely when she was very young she did look very much like me)!

Me and my younger sister used to fight like cat and dog when we were little! We could not go anywhere without having a scrap, and I always came off worse as I was so timid! However now we are pretty close. We phone each other most days for a rant, moan or just a chat, and it is really nice.. She only lives down the road as well so from time to time we go down there and have a riotous evening playing silly games and getting out the karaoke.

My other two brothers I don’t get to see much, but the one in Malaysia is pretty handy at DIY, and has helped me out many a time, when he has come over to the UK as he likes to keep himself busy! The other brother lives a couple of hundred miles away in the same town as where my Dad lived, but he comes to major family events, and he very often puts up family members when they want to go down that way as it has a beautiful beach there.

Lastly, there is my Mum. She can be a bit of a cantankerous old thing, and feels that at her age, she has every right to be (it can be a bit hurtful at times though)! However, she has helped every one of us kids out at some point and I think she does mean well, even if she doesn’t always show it!

That is the majority of my family; although we all have our different personalities and lifestyles, we do share a few things in common, a great sense of humour and a big appetite (Thanks to my Dad), There are times when they get on my nerves, as I am sure I do theirs, but I am lucky to have them all.

Episode 48: Dad Dancing…. — November 17, 2014

Episode 48: Dad Dancing….

I was thinking about my dad this morning, and what a character he was. Born and bred by the sea, he thought nothing of going swimming in all  weathers. Rain never hampered him, in fact, he used to tell us kids that it was warmer in the water when it rained! That was certainly true in his case as he always wore the same pair of skimpy Speedo trunks (no daughter, or son for that matter,should have to see their dad in Speedos, but he would not be told)!

His idea of sun tan lotion was olive oil! Turning frequently in the sun, and slathered all over in grease, he roasted up a treat and was always a golden brown colour in the summer! As well as the dreaded Speedos, he also had a penchant  for VERY short shorts, which he teemed with the obligatory ‘mandals’ (as I like to call them, you know, the strappy man sandals that look good on no-one)! This attire he would wear even into his early 80’s.

Aside from his love of swimming Dad loved to try and get the most out of life He and my step-mum would travel extensively all over the place and I have a lovely collection of postcards I received, with his indecipherable scrawl (it would normally take a couple of attempts at reading it before it sank in what he had written), detailing all the things they had been getting up to.

They also had a property in Spain where they lived for six months of the year to avoid the harsh  English winters (who can blame them)! When they came back home though they had all these clubs that they went to, one of which was the ‘Recycled Teenagers Club.’ This was my dad to a tee.. He was always up for a challenge, and I remember him and my step-mum at one of my niece’s 18th birthday party. Someone (probably Dad) had asked the DJ to play the ‘Macarena’. As soon as it started him and my step-mum were straight out of their chairs with a speed that belied their aging years, and onto the dance  floor, trying to drag some of us up on the way. (I have got 2 left feet and decided to sit that one out).

Anyway, off they went onto the floor with all the ‘youngsters’ . I can still picture to this day my dad’s face, eyes closed, totally oblivious to everyone around him, concentrating on the music and the steps he had to do. I roared my head off when it came to the hip thrust bit, although a bit alarmed that with the effort he was putting into it, his back might give out! He was having a whale of a time, and stayed on the dance floor for quite a while!

Not only did he like to dance, but he also loved music. Although he couldn’t read a note, he could somehow manage to play anything by ear, and he would sometimes sing along in his rich melodious voice, whilst the rest of us would bang on a tambourine, or plink on the electric keyboard to accompany him! So much better than sitting in front of the tv!

Needless to say, Dad reached out and grabbed life with both hands, he wanted to experience lots of different things. He loved food, and had a very hearty appetite (he was never overweight though). I don’t think there was anything he wouldn’t eat; even though the rest of us wimped out at the hottest curry, dad would relish it. if we were too fussy to eat out food, dad would polish it off, as he hated waste.

He was also very articulate and knowledgeable. It seemed to me that he knew something about everything! Education was extremely  important to him, and he always tried to encourage us to do well at school (whether we wanted to or not)! He was the type of man who mixed easily with anyone from any background. He always found something interesting to  say, and had a wicked sense of humour (I hope that some of this has rubbed off on me)!

My dad sadly passed away a couple of years ago now. He still did as much as he could right up until he was no longer physically able, and still kept his positive attitude throughout…I was feeling a bit down today, but thinking about my dad, has put a smile on my face, as he was always such fun to be around despite his dodgy taste in swimwear!

Episode 46: Turning Full Circle….. — November 15, 2014

Episode 46: Turning Full Circle…..

Me and Mr Grump go back quite a long way (30 years to be precise)! We first met at a small Army Barracks where we were both stationed. I had literally just got out of  basic training and was still quite a shy and quiet 18-year-old (One of the reasons I joined the Army was to ‘come out of my shell’ a bit). He was a cocky and confident 21-year-old Army chef (definitely a good start there, he loves to cook, I love to eat)!

Anyway, I didn’t pay that much attention to him at first, preferring to concentrate on the food he was dishing up. I had not been on the camp that long, and it was still a bit of an ordeal for me going into the cookhouse as it was always packed, and I didn’t know many people yet; however, if I wanted to eat I had to go in…simple!

I had made a  couple of friends in basic training who had gone before me to this posting, and I ended up sharing a room with one of them,who went on to become my best friend (we are still in contact today) Karen, (this friend) and I decided to take advantage of the private strip of beach that we had on this camp, and headed off for a paddle in the sea.

We ended up going for a proper swim as it was a gorgeous, hot day, we had a little time to kill, and wanted to make the most of it. what I didn’t mention is the fact that, as it was an ‘off the cuff swim’, we hadn’t dressed for the occasion, and were just wearing shorts and t-shirts. Mr Grump, (actually back then he was spiky haired, and very lean and fit) and a friend of his had the same idea and were also having fun in the sea, swimming and splashing about.

They got out a little before Karen and I, and were just hanging around on the beach. As I came wading of the water, Mr Grump came over to me with his jacket which he thoughtfully wrapped around me. I thanked him for his kindness and we eventually went on to have a rather tempestuous two-year relationship.(oh, and he  later told me that he knew exactly what was in store for him, as my yellow shorts, white top, plus underwear,  had gone completely see-through in the water AND he had a bloody good look before bringing me the jacket to spare my blushes)!

We did get engaged during the two years, but were much too young and immature really, plus Mr Grump was being posted elsewhere and was a bit of a Jack-the lad in those days! We ended u going our separate ways, and although Karen and I both left the army after 3 years, Mr Grump continued to serve.

I came back to my home town, and life moved on…I did occasionally think about Mr Grump, and at one time, went to visit his mother in Wales for a few days. I didn’t see him at that time, as he was off serving abroad somewhere. Anyway, I ended up getting married, and much later  I had my beautiful daughter . He of course also went on to have children and marry.

As I mentioned, I was still in touch with Karen, and one day she told me that she had seen Mr Grump on Forces Reunited, and that he would be pleased to hear from me. I was really shocked  after all the time that had passed, but was so curious. After all, I had thought about him many times over the years, so anyway I bit the bullet and contacted him.

We sent messages back and forth for a while but then finally decided to meet up. I had been single for a few years as Miss Hap’s father and I had split when she was a very young baby. I had arranged to meet him in a local Supermarket car park, but he got lost as had to drive for a couple of hours to get there, Finally he made it there and seeing him was like the years just melted away (well aside from the fact that he had put on a few stone and his  hair was bald on top and long at the back which he put into a pigtail)! That was it for both of us…. after a few weeks, he moved in, and six months later we married! (By this time I had got at him with the hair clippers, he lost a load of weight, I put a load on), but we were happy

Karen and her family of course came to the wedding, and she was one of our witnesses;  Miss Hap was our gorgeous bridesmaid and  we had a small, intimate ceremony (so intimate I didn’t realise the room would only hold 4 people (and the huge dress that I had chosen), so a few of our family stood outside the window looking in at us exchanging vows!! We did have a reception at the local pub though for everybody and it was a wonderful day.

It just goes to show, how unpredictable life is! I never would have guessed, that after being apart for 25 years, Mr Grump and I would not only meet up again, but I would eventually become his wife, even if it took me 30 years to do it!!

Episode 24: Me and My Girl… — October 22, 2014

Episode 24: Me and My Girl…

Kids…don’t you just love’ em!! Ever since I was quire young I always wanted to have children, and at one point I wanted to become a Nanny and look after them. However life works out in its own sweet way, and I never did become a nanny, plus  I was 37 years old before I finally had my beautiful daughter…

Being one of six children myself, and with most of my siblings being older than me, they started to have their children when I was a teenager. I thought this was great, and I would always volunteer to babysit whenever I could. I loved playing games with the little ones, and spending time with them, looking after them.

I thought that by the time I was a Mum,  I would have loads of experience from looking after various nephews and nieces, and that I would be very capable and calm!

I was panicking like mad, almost as soon as I became pregnant! I signed up to one of those online subscriptions that gave a daily update on how the baby was developing, and I would read any pregnancy book I could get my hands on so that I knew what to expect,,,however there were a few humps along the way to get over first that were not really mentioned in the glossy mags I read,,,,,,

The first hurdle was being told that as I was an ‘older mum’, my age coupled with some test results meant that I may have a child that has Down’s Syndrome, I did have the amniocentesis done as advised, but that was not a pleasant experience. The size of that needle they pushed into my stomach!! Ohh it made my eyes water, but everything was ok, and I also found out by choice early on that i was having a girl, which was so exciting. One more hurdle of gestational diabetes to get over,.. that was also a bit of a nuisance as I ended up having to inject myself with insulin, but again, in the grand scheme of things, it was ok, as at least my baby was healthy which was the main thing.

My two sisters were with me when my daughter was born, and she came screaming into the world to the dulcet tones of Tom Jones singing ‘It’s Not unusual’ (I wanted something a bit upbeat for her to be born to)! Anyway…I was now finally a MUM. My dream had come true, and here was my precious little bundle, (Actually the first night I heard this crying and wished that the other mothers in the ward would see to their poor baby, when actually it was MY baby that was crying). It took a little while for me to get used to the fact that yes, I was supposed to take care of her every need!!!

I was living with my mother and step-father when I took  her home from hospital, for the first few weeks, which was lucky for me as I had my mum on hand to give me advice.. However when she was 10 weeks old, we moved into our own house and for the next few years it was just me and her.

I really didn’t know how hard it was going to be, looking after a baby, getting into routines etc. I bought a food processor, and lovingly made delicious meals from scratch which I pulverized for her when she went onto solids…only for her to spit it out in disgust! I was determined that she would sleep in her own room, and managed to get her into a routine, although I had of course got it wrong!! She would go to bed every evening at 5.30pm, but would get up every morning at 4.30 am. Try as I might I could not get her out of this habit for ages! Plus, once she was awake that was it, she would have this strange habit of getting onto her back and kicking her legs against the wall in a kind of ‘cycling’ motion (bearing in mind that our walls are paper-thin and I have neighbours either side, I would imagine that they did not really enjoy their early morning wakeup call, I know I didn’t)!!

The terrible twos were a joy! I lost count of the fully fledged tantrums in the town centre, being the focus of many a filthy look from disgusted passers-by as my daughter screamed herself into a frenzy! I also loved the struggle i had to get her into the bloody car seat (Oh how I hated that thing)!  She would go as stiff as a board, and refuse to bend in the middle so it was rather an art to finally get her in and strapped in, However, 2 minutes down the road and she got herself out of it and would get out, so I would have to quickly pull over and start the process again! Oh yes, car seats and safety gates were just a minor annoyance that temporarily stopped her as she had figured out how open the gates as well!!

I was really sad when it came time for my daughter to start primary  school, but as I mentioned in a previous post, she was the child that tried to escape and was given a high vis top to wear so that she was easy to spot in the playground.The fact that she has Asperger’s as well, has caused the odd awkward moment, as she will say whatever she thinks regardless of how other people might be affected by it,….

I remember taking her to a local Garden centre as they were doing a club for young children to encourage them to take an interest in nature and growing things etc. As we were queueing up to register,there were other children who were in front of us giving in their names. my daughter felt that she had to comment on ‘what a stupid name’ they had, to my mortification, and their mother’s fury! I have tried teaching her tact, but she just doesn’t get it!

She has an opinion and everyone is entitled to it!!  At times it can be very amusing, like tonight, as her hair was soaked and knotty after having washed it, I told her to give it a good brushing, but she complained that why should she as it will have to be brushed again tomorrow, she also doesn’t understand why she should have to do homework either for school, as she has already had ‘a hard day’. She thought she could get away with using Google Translator for her French homework, but got busted by the teacher, who was not impressed as it wasn’t even accurate!

She is certainly so much more grown up than I was at 11, and probably gets away with a hell of a lot more than I dared to  at her age, but for all the challenges we face together, I am very proud of my beautiful, and feisty little madam, and know that I am very blessed.

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