Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

My Goals for 2016! — December 29, 2015

My Goals for 2016!

Now that I’ve given up smoking

And have long since ditched all the booze

I see no need for resolutions

They only give me the blues

I hardly have any vices

I gave them all up long ago

Except of course over-eating

I never know when to say no!

I always eat lots for comfort

When I am under duress

Then get mad when I find out

That I am bursting out of my dress!

 I need to find some new ideas

To kick off twenty-sixteen

So I can stop all this gorging

And go from stocky to lean

I have to find motivation

To make it all a success

Then, this time next year

I will weigh a couple of stone less!

Episode 183: Once Bitten…. — February 26, 2015

Episode 183: Once Bitten….

Oh how I want to stop scratching

This itching is driving me mad

There are bites all over my body

And they are starting to look rather bad!

My ankle is already swollen

The skin is so tender and tight

I don’t know when all of this started

But it is looking horrendous tonight

My body is lumpy and bumpy

Where I have been bitten to bits

The cream I put on has done nothing

This scratching is really the pits!

My nails are continuously raking

And opening the scab up again

There is this continuing cycle

A mixture of pleasure and pain!

I am getting fed up of this torture

Without any sign of reprise

If this carries on for much longer

I will get myself treated for fleas!

Episode 171: Ode To Nurses — February 19, 2015

Episode 171: Ode To Nurses

This poem is for all the nurses, nursing assistants and carers. A typical day for us!

Your day starts very early

Before you are awake

There are patients who need washing

And lots of beds to make

The buzzers are all going

There really is no rest

Someone wants the toilet

“Sorry to be a pest!”

Some bloods need to be taken

Dressings to be changed

That patient’s going home soon

And no transport has been arranged!

“Someone’s had an accident

Go and change the bed”

Another one has had a fall

And now he’s banged his head

“Where’s the bloody doctor?”

The relatives want a word

Your smile becomes a grimace

As you’ve just skidded on a turd!

You quickly get it cleaned up

But it won’t come off your shoe

The time is going quickly

But there’s still so much to do!

You finally write your notes up

And hope you did ok

Then home to get some shut –eye

To face another day!

Episode 145: Ode To Cadbury’s — February 5, 2015

Episode 145: Ode To Cadbury’s

I heard a little Wispa

There’s a rumour going about

That Cadbury’s chocolate production

Has had a little Time Out

They have moved across the water

To give their sales a Boost

But the chocolate’s taste is different

And the bar size is reduced.

The Fudge was once a ‘finger’

Is now more like a toe

The chunky Double Decker          

Has let the top deck go!

Caramel is missing a piece

Whole Nut is more like half

The Flake would now be finished

Before you even ran the bath!

Dairy Milk has dwindled

And so has Turkish Delight

 Poor Crème Egg is beaten

And Fry’s Chocolate Cream is not right!

I think you should consider

Giving back the large sized bars

To keep the customer happy

Or they’ll defect to Mars!

Episode 123. Mind Your Manners…. — January 25, 2015

Episode 123. Mind Your Manners….

I really hate seeing bad manners

People who are surly and rude

Who forget how to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’

Or whose language is vulgar and crude!

Drivers that cut people up are annoying

God knows how they got through their test

And the middle lane hoggers are awful

They should all be put under arrest!

What about bad table manners?

Those that are noisily chomping their food

Eating with mouths that are open

Can really put me in a mood!

Then there are those that ignore you

Walk away when you’re having a chat

Others that have no decorum

And will tell you, that you’re looking quite fat!

We all have to get on together

So it makes perfect sense to me

To treat everyone we encounter

With kindness and courtesy.

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