Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

#Sillysaturday Boobs — April 14, 2018

#Sillysaturday Boobs

Silly Saturday is back!

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

Here is a real treat for you this week. Daffy has made a brilliant pebble art pic, can you guess what they are?

Some are baggy and saggy

Some are perky and pert

Some are tiny little gnat bites

Some so big that they hurt!

Some are flabby and floppy

Some are bouncy double Ds

Some are wrinkled and crinkled

Some hang down to the knees!

Some are always kept covered

Some are all over YouTube

Have you guessed what these are yet?

Yes! A nice pair of boobs!

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If you enjoyed my poem, you may like to vote for my blog here in the Funniest Blog category. Daffy’s blog is also nominated for Most Informative (original content) Blogger which you can vote for using the same link. Check out all the other nominees too! 🙂

Episode 497: Tuesday Tidbit: Sexting (18+) — September 15, 2015

Episode 497: Tuesday Tidbit: Sexting (18+)

I’m not very good at this sexting

Just not cut out for it at all

For a start I write everything longhand

It would be quicker just to give me a call!

When asked “what are you wearing?”

I reply, “How kind of you to ask”

Just my scruffy old leggings

Instead of a sexy black basque.

I know I need to talk dirty

To get my man in the mood

But my parents’ strict upbringing

Has taught me those words are too rude!

The texts I’m receiving get hotter

Oh Christ, think of something to say

“Yes. I’m massaging my boobs as you asked me

And by the way, how is your day?”

Oh, that’s it. I’m rubbish at this game

I think I just might push my luck

And cut straight to the action

And ask if he fancies a …

Nope! Still can’t do it!

Episode 451: Ronovan’s Writes. Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt #57 ‘Bust’ & ‘Must’ — August 10, 2015

Episode 451: Ronovan’s Writes. Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt #57 ‘Bust’ & ‘Must’

Thanks to the wonderful Ronovan for keeping his weekly Haiku poetry prompt challenge going despite having his own challenges to deal with, not least the technical ones that you can help with here

So. knowing the way my mind works, you can guess where I have gone with this one!

Hmmm, diet or bust?

I know I must lose some weight

I will miss my boobs!

boobs!

Episode 335: Wacky Word Wednesday #3 — May 20, 2015

Episode 335: Wacky Word Wednesday #3

It is time for me to find a wacky, wonderful or weird word to play with, and this week’s word comes courtesy of my dear blogging buddy Cat. He and I share a very similar sense of humour as well as a filthy mind!  So this week we give you….

Voluptuous. What a bodacious and buxom word this is.The well-proportioned woman, curvaceous and shapely, bursting out in all the right places! She is sensuous and sexy, enticing and erotic. teasing and tantalising with a fulsome figure to be proud of.

This lady is boobilicious and bootylicious, and knows how to work it to her advantage! She is hot and spicy, warm and welcoming, not to mention delightful and desirable. She is, most certainly, all-woman!

Episode 256. Bursting Out All Over! — March 27, 2015

Episode 256. Bursting Out All Over!

Although I absolutely hate the colour of my work uniform, (it is the same grotty grey that you get when you put black and white items  together on a hot wash) I am at least grateful that I don’t have to worry what I have to wear each day.

I have worked in offices in the past and it was always a challenge to come up with a different outfit every day, that was suitable for the office, and for the weather. I always like to try to look smart even if I never manage classy or elegant that I wish I was!

Anyway, myself and Mr Grump decided to nip into town today to have a mooch about, plus there were a couple of things we wanted to get. I told him that I was ‘just going to look in the window’ of the hairdressers I usually frequent to see if they were busy.

As luck would have it they weren’t. That is pretty rare so I asked the if they could fit me in for a quick trim as my fringe had grown right out and my hair was looking a bit tatty! There were two stylists working, one young dark-haired woman and an older woman with blonde hair, she was the one that ushered me off to do my hair.

As she was snipping away and chatting, I kind of turned to the side to reply, and almost got a faceful of boob! She was not a small woman, but I think the top she was wearing might have shrunk or something, as I was confronted by what looked like two shelled hard-boiled eggs (only about 5 times the size) spilling out of two giant egg-cups, thinly covered by a scrap of black lycra masquerading as a t-shirt!

Mr Grump then bowled in and started moaning because I was mid haircut and he thought I would be ages. The shop phone went off and another girl appeared from upstairs, also in a low-cut number, boobs jiggling about as she descended each stair. Mr Grump’s eyes were popping out of his head! He had already clocked the woman doing my hair, and now he was treated to this other spectacle as well.

He decided to hang around for a bit longer, but i was almost done anyway. As we came out of the shop, he said with what he hoped conveyed disapproval,

“Every time you go in there those girls have got their t**s out!”  So that’s why he always comes in looking for me when he knows exactly where I have gone!

Hmmmm, isn’t it about time that hairdressers wore a uniform?!

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