Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

#JusJoJan 2018. January 30th Scrumptious — January 30, 2018

#JusJoJan 2018. January 30th Scrumptious

I hope that you are enjoying my posts from Linda’s Just Jot it January as much as I am enjoying writing them.

Here is today’s prompt word.

Your prompt for January 29th, 2018, brought to you by me, is “Scrumptious.” Use it any way you’d like in your post. 

I chose the word scrumptious because I love the way it sounds, in fact, it is the kind of word that feels as though it belongs on an old Disney film like ‘Mary Poppins’or ‘Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’.

I do use it quite a bit, in relation to food (of course); it is the perfect fit to describe a chocolate layer cake with all the trimmings, yummmmm.

I like to give members of my family little nicknames, and Scrumptious was just right for my little nephew. He is now 26, so the last time I called him it, I shortened it to Scrump, or Scrumpkin (I used to call him Pumpkin as well, and you know how I like to rhyme everything)!

Anyway, that’s enough nonsense from me!  I hope you had fun with this word.

#SoCS Shortcut Cut Short — November 4, 2017

#SoCS Shortcut Cut Short

This week Linda has given us a choice for our Stream of Consciousness posts, we can either use shortcut or cut short.

I like a shortcut when I am working at my job in the community. The problem is that, as I do not have a very good sense of direction, I end up getting lost and taking longer to get there. One village road looks similar to the next for me, and even when given very precise directions, I still manage to mess up and end up in the wrong place. Having said that, I do make sure that the patients’ visits are not cut short if it has taken me a while to get there.

There are some occasions when a shortcut can be an advantage though. I remember our Home Economics lessons at school, when making a cake, creaming the butter and sugar together with a wooden spoon, then adding the egg, making sure not to curdle the mixture, and finally, folding in the flour,with a metal spoon, carefully, and then producing a cake that was more like a biscuit than a light and fluffy sponge! Years later, I was introduced to the ‘all-in-one method’, bung everything in together (which seemed like sacrilege), mix it all up and something that resembles a sponge appears. Sometimes it feels good to use a shortcut!

I am going to have to cut short this post now as I have yet another essay to write for one of my Uni assignments. I wish there was a shortcut I could use for that!

SoCS Shortcut Cut Short


Ronovan’s Writes Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt # 74 ‘Cake’ and ‘Wolf’ — December 7, 2015

Ronovan’s Writes Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt # 74 ‘Cake’ and ‘Wolf’

Now Ronovan’s prompt words of ‘cake’ and ‘wolf’ for this weeks Haiku challenge had me thinking it was going to be pretty easy. However, he is on to us and would prefer something a little less obvious. Hmmmm.

I have had to think ‘outside the box’ and have been at the thesaurus!

Here is what I ended up with!

Cake of soap


Episode 285: Wacky Wedding Cakes! — April 13, 2015

Episode 285: Wacky Wedding Cakes!

Planning a wedding can be quite a traumatic affair (trust me on this one, I have had a lot of experience here)! There is the dress, the flowers, the venue …..well, I could go on and on here, but you get the picture.

One of the centrepiece of a lovely wedding has got to be the cake. Some people have huge, fancy cakes with numerous tiers, others have lots of chocolate cup cakes. There are so many wonderful cakes that capture the spirit of the occasion.

It is also quite a pivotal moment when the bride and groom get to cut the cake. Everyone gathers around to watch the symbolic act, and it is always an opportunity to take a nice photo…..unless of course, they have chosen a creepy clown for their choice of confectionery!

This reminds me of the character from ‘It’ the Stephen King book that scared me to death (I am a terrible wimp)! I am not sure that I want to be tucking into someone’s brain, or poking their eye out with my fork. It seems a bit savage for my liking!

I know that for many couples the cake means something to them both, and I am all for the sentiment ‘Till death do us part,’ but some people take it a little to literally!

I have found a few more bizarre wedding cake pics here that makes me wonder what the hell the future is going to hold for these ‘happy








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Episode 272: What A Carry On! — April 5, 2015

Episode 272: What A Carry On!

I had really been looking forward to going to my sister’s today. I had a little nap before we went, as I slept very badly last night due feeling really rough with this bloody cold.

We picked my mum up on the way and everyone else was already there when we arrived. Lunch was a beautiful roast beef and yorkshire pudding. We had a cake that my sister had made for pudding which looked so good I took a photo of it!  Not only did it have mini eggs and chocolate orange segments, it also had Nutella in it! I just had to have a little bit of it to try and it was even better than it looked (if that us possible).

Anyway, the fever kicked in again after lunch, and as Mum felt tired, I ended up coming home early. Miss Hap, bless her, wanted to come with me as well to look after me (plus she didn’t want to walk home later as I had the car)!

We are now enjoying a ‘Carry On’ film fest in our pyjamas.  Every Bank Holiday they seem to put them on back to back. I grew up with these films, but never get tired of watching them. The silliness of them as well as the innuendo and double-entendres still make me laugh my head off! Good job I am easily pleased!

Episode 221: Happy Birthday To Poo! — March 14, 2015

Episode 221: Happy Birthday To Poo!

What’s the best part of a birthday for you? The presents, celebrating with loved ones, or the good old birthday cake? Usually the cake is the star of the show. The lights are dimmed, as someone carries the cake proudly into the room, placing it in front of the Birthday Boy/Girl ready for them to blow out the candles and make a wish!

A lot of the time, the cake has been especially made. We have all seen the wonderful creations that are stunningly realistic of all manner of things; portraits of people, or perhaps buildings, objects, characters, flowers, all sorts of things.

Some people, however, take things a little bit too far in their birthday cake tributes. How would you fancy eating a cake that looked like someone had just vomited on it? Perhaps a loo seat containing a cakey turd, and rather disturbing fly? Not your thing? I know, most of us like animals, what about a ‘cat litter’ cake? A tray containing an assortment of poos (including one squashed  down the side of the tray). Realistic? Very, but not very appetising.

There was a rather lovely cake shaped like a foot, complete with warts, (or is it verrucae)? and a fungal nail infection in the big toe! Charming, I’m sure. (I am curious to know whether or not it was a ‘cheese’ cake)!

Anyway, as much as I admire artistic and creative cakes (my sister is brilliant at making cakes), I’ll give the  bodily fluids ones (yes there were others I was not brave enough to mention) a miss and stick to plain old traditional ones!

Episode 163: Wedded Bliss…or Blissful Ignorance! — February 14, 2015

Episode 163: Wedded Bliss…or Blissful Ignorance!

Some people are very romantic, professing their love every day, popping the question after a whirlwind  courtship.  They then have a beautiful wedding topped off with a honeymoon to a gorgeous location. They settle into a lovely routine together, and then decide to start a family….Ah wedded bliss.

One lady in the south-west of England, had such a wonderful marriage, She and her scuba diving instructor husband lived a comfortable and happy life together, despite the fact that when they first met he was married. Fast forward six years, and he is newly divorced and ready to marry again.

Thing go well for the first few years, but times being hard the husband worked away quite a bit to keep the money coming in, as by now the wife had given up work to look after the daughter they had together. Sometimes he only came home once or twice a month, but they were still happy and in love.

You can imagine the wife’s surprise when out of the blue she got a call from her mother-in-law expressing her sorrow that she and her son had now got divorced. Not only that but there were pictures on Facebook (don’t you just love it) of him marrying his new love!

To add insult to injury, not only was he a bigamist, but he got married in the same place where he had taken his wife on their honeymoon AND he used the same Best Man (who was unaware that the groom was not divorced). Apparently he had been leading a double life for three years without either of the ‘wives’ realising!

He ended up getting 18 weeks, yes only 18 weeks  in jail for bigamy, and his excuse was that he ‘put the cart before the horse’ Priceless!

His new wife is standing by him and he has finally started divorce proceedings against his previous one.

I bet he’s had enough of wedding cake for now!

Episode 158: W.I. Goes 50 Shades Greyer!! — February 11, 2015

Episode 158: W.I. Goes 50 Shades Greyer!!

With all the fuss about ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ around at the moment, it is no surprise that many have jumped on the bandwagon due to the massive amount of publicity it has generated. However, there has been a bit of a fuss over a group of women that nobody would have expected would be interested in this steamy story…

The good old Women’ s Institute  (WI) are just about to celebrate their centenary in 2015, and are a very well-respected institution. It was originally set up during the First World War as a way for women in rural areas to join together in producing food.

Its members are mostly older women who have retired, but it is just starting to become popular with younger ladies. They are known for their jam and chutney making as well as delicious home-made cakes. They are normally pillars of society. and whenever there is a church fete, jumble sale or school fayre, you can normally find these ladies serving teas and coffees with an assortment of biscuits, cakes and scones.

They did cause a bit of a fuss a few years ago when they produced a naked calendar in order to raise money for cancer (They are prolific fundraisers for many charities). It became so popular that the film ‘Calendar Girls’ was based on their story.

Anyway, some of these ladies belong to a writing club based in a small country town. They had already discussed ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ and decided that they would like to have a go at writing something raunchy themselves. So they did!

They were producing their own small book made up of short stories covering different topics such as crime,  and adventure etc, but the final chapter was to be a ‘bodice ripper’ (us Brits do love a euphemism). Most of the members were up for having a go at writing the….climax of the book, and a winner would be chosen from the submitted entries.

The person who actually did win was a little coy, and did not want her identity disclosed as she thought her ‘gran would be furious’ (must be one of the younger members then)! Anyway. the chapter was pretty explicit and had to be rated XXX as well as an advisory given (probably so as not to excite the older readers too much).

It has had a bit of a mixed reception so far. Some people are rather shocked that the WI ‘would be involved with such smut’ and others were surprised ‘they had the nerve to print it due to some of the language involved.’

Of course the proceeds from the sale of the book are going to the local hospital for the treatment of cancer, and quite a few of the locals are only to happy to buy the book for the cause (not to mention the racy bits).

I know which book I would rather read!!

Episode 76: An Unexpected Treat! — December 15, 2014

Episode 76: An Unexpected Treat!

Miss Hap came home from her Nanny’s yesterday afternoon after spending the night there, and informed me that she HAD to make some cupcakes that very evening. I asked what the urgency was and she told me that her class had actually made them in school last week and as she had forgotten her ingredients she was unable to participate, but she needed to make them, and take a picture in order for her to be able to complete her course work.

I was quite cross as she had told me she was making cup cakes THIS week! We even had all  the ingredients ready for once as well! Honestly, that girl is more scatter-brained than I am and that is saying something! (I had to go to a training course one day whilst I was on annual leave, and turned up a day early to be greeted with a dark and locked training room)! .

Anyway, although we did have the ingredients, we had no cupcake cases. Mr Grump was already out so I phoned him to pick some up, which he was delighted about, and meanwhile, I got out the bits and pieces needed to make the cakes. My daughter was to make these all by herself with NO help from me whatsoever! Now, I have mentioned before in Episode 70 that I am concerned about letting Miss Hap loose on certain things like certain chores and cooking, due to her tendency to be a little bit accident prone, and I was worried about things getting broken or her getting burnt! However,she is 11 now, my little sister lets her do it, fellow bloggers have advised me that she is old enough to do it, and school insists that she does do it, I have to curb the control instinct and let her get on with it!

Luckily for me, the cupcakes were made using the all-in-one method, so it didn’t matter that she is (like me) heavy-handed! She carefully and meticulously weighed out her ingredients a few grams at a time until she had the exact amount, and the finished mixture had a lovely consistency, in no time at all. We had the cases now so she arranged them in the baking tin, ensuring that she used all of the coloured cases. The mix was enough for six cakes so she doled it out equally, and made a good job of it.

I made her check the cakes to see that they were ready and she prodded the top to ensure that they were. I was roped in to help make the butter cream icing once she weighed out the ingredients and I said I would start her off. Of course I made a hell of a mess; the icing sugar went everywhere as I tried to beat it in. Anyway, Miss Hap wanted to decorate the cakes which I was happy for her to do.

The end results looked  so lovely I had to have one. I was impressed, she is obviously much more capable than I give her credit for.

Episode 64: A Little Bit of Dirt Never Killed Anybody…. — December 3, 2014

Episode 64: A Little Bit of Dirt Never Killed Anybody….

I received a phone call from Miss Hap today during her lunch break at school to let me know that there is a Craft Fair on Friday at school and “you have got to make some gingerbread men biscuits”.  Oh great! Well I have to give her credit for telling me a little in advance, normally it is at bedtime the night before she has to take something home-made into school. (I know some supermarkets do a lovely range of ‘home-made’ cakes etc but it does seem a bit naughty to do that; However needs must, and I have done it in the past)!

Anyway, as it is my day off today, and not only have I got the ingredients (and more importantly the recipe) for the gingers, but I actually enjoy making them (along with mince pies, that is about my festive repartee). I have already made the dough, and whilst that is ‘chilling’ in the fridge, I get a bit of time to myself to reflect on how different I am from my mum in the kitchen, I was thinking about Mum and what a fantastic cook she is, although nowadays she doesn’t bake so much. However, in her baking heyday some of her practices in the kitchen left a little to be desired…..

Two funny stories come to mind. the first one was when mum was making her famous ‘rock cakes’. Now, they were not ALWAYS as hard as rock as the name implies, and she put currants or something in them as well, so they were quite tasty for a Sunday afternoon tea. This particular day she made the cakes with her usual method, chucking a bit of this in, sprinkling in a pinch of that, then a dollop of something else for good measure. Once cooked they looked lovely and golden brown and she turned them out onto the wire rack to cool for a bit.

My younger sister and I were there when she decided to have a little ‘taster’ and she bit off a huge chunk from a cake.

“Mmmm these are lovely” (Self-recommendation is no praise, but Mum was proud of her cooking). As I looked up at Mum I was horrified; there were loads of ants crawling around her mouth, my sister had noticed as well. We were screeching and pointing but Mum had realised something was not right, and she rushed over to the sink to spit out the cake, and brush away the ants that she had not ingested!  It transpired that Mum’s wire rack was kept in the little alcove under the kitchen sink, and she had not washed it (how the hell she didn’t notice the ants all over it is anybody’s guess)! Well needless to say we went cakeless, and had something else!

The other occasion, was a dinner Mum was cooking for the family. She had made a gorgeous stew, and was preparing the dumplings to go with it, which she cooked in the pot with the stew. She went to one of the cupboards and got out her little box where she kept, her margarine, butter and lard. Anyway, she made the dumplings, but as I watched her , I said that they didn’t look right (Mrs Expert Chef poking her nose in)! Needless to say she took no notice of me, and half an hour later we all sat down for our lovely dinner. I took one mouthful of dumpling, and the rank taste hit me; the dumpling was expelled straight away.as I retched and heaved. Some of the others followed suit but the slow starters sat there stunned; dinner was ruined. That fat she used had been sitting opened in the packet for God knows how long, and was well and truly off! Mum told us to eat the stew anyway just leave the dumplings, but everyone’s appetite had suddenly disappeared!

I remember those two occasions so well, as my Mum never understood why we all made such a fuss about everything being clean, or that food was not past it’s ‘sell-by date’! Myself, plus some of my brothers and sisters used to go through the fridge and cupboards and sure enough there were tins there from  5 years previously (“tins last forever”), bottles where the date had rubbed off, or perhaps even before they dated foods, unwrapped food in the fridge, cooked and raw meat stored in close proximity, and condiments from the ark! Anything that was in the fridge was edible according to mum regardless of how long it had been in there!

I suppose growing up when food was rationed, they were not so picky about what they ate, being grateful to have anything. Also I have seen her trying  to sneak an errant spud in the roasting tin that had fallen on the floor when she strained them in the pan. Again, anything that went on the floor got either rinsed or brushed off and put on the plate! After all, “A little bit of dirt never killed anyone” and me, and my siblings have the cast iron stomachs to prove it!

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