Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Self(ie) Confidence — November 6, 2017

Self(ie) Confidence

Selfies seem to be so popular at the moment, especially with the young. Now I am not very photogenic and am not that keen on having my picture taken at the best of times. My daughter, however, is just the opposite!

She loves to take selfies whenever we go anywhere and very often tries to get me in on it as well. When one of my best friends got married last year Miss Hap took a load of selfies at our table.  I ended up being in several of the shots, either stuffing myself with food and looking like Bessie Bunter, or having some sort of gormless expression on my face. (I know that might be normal for me but I don’t want her bandying the photos around her friends for their mocking pleasure)!

Now I don’t mind it when she uses one of the funny apps on the phone to scrunch up the face and twist it around a bit so that you end up resembling some evil pixie type of creature as that is really quite amusing. What I do hate though is the ‘Fatify’ app or whatever it is called!

You might have noticed that I am not the slimmest of people, but by the time this app has finished with me, I have gained yet another three chins! Likewise the ‘Oldify’ app, that is hideous as well. Having said that they are all in good fun and thank goodness she sees them as that way too.

In my day, ‘the camera never lied’ but of course now that is far from the truth. We have all heard of these ‘celebrities’ that have photoshopped their already slender bodies in order to shave off a few inches here and there, plus erase some ‘unsightly’ wrinkle, or mark. The end result is a far from realistic image of a supposedly ‘perfect’ person.

Luckily for me, Mr Grump likes a woman with ‘a bit of meat on her bones.’ I am aware that I may have a little too much to be healthy and for that reason need to lose some weight. I do not make a big thing out of it though as I don’t want to make weight an issue which might start influencing my daughter.

My daughter is extremely active and spends loads of time running around, The fact that she is only 14 years old as well, I do not think she should be overly worried at this point about her weight, and thank goodness she doesn’t seem to be. I do try to encourage her to be a little healthier though.

I love this ‘selfie’ of myself and my daughter, it is my favourite picture, despite being a couple of years old now. She has done something to it with an app, but it only alters the colour, it doesn’t add or take anything away. I hope she continues to be body confident, enjoys her youth and natural beauty.

Selfie of me and my daughter
Camera Shy! — May 17, 2016

Camera Shy!

My husband bought me a camera

To try to improve on my skills

You see, I am a point and press girl

Nothing fancy, no frills!

This one is rather larger

Than the phone that I normally use

With dials and buttons and lenses

About which I don’t have a clue!

I couldn’t wait to start using it

And snapped at all in my sight

Playing with all of the settings

And fiddling about with the light!

It has its own little knapsack

Where I can pack it away

Jammed in with all its accessories

Zipped up so it will stay

Then I see a bird in the garden

Oh, look at it hopping about

Now his wife’s come to join him

Time for the camera to come out

Because I didn’t want to break it

I eased it out from the case

But, the birds have now scarpered

A photo shoot, gone to waste!

I went to a local beauty spot

Practising shot after shot

Trying out all of the settings

Pleased with the photos I’d got

I went to put them all on computer

And then something went horribly wrong

All of my beautiful pictures

Had just disappeared and had gone!

 

 

 

 

Episode 420: If At First You Don’t Succeed……. — July 18, 2015

Episode 420: If At First You Don’t Succeed…….

In my last post I mentioned how I was having trouble with getting to grips with my new phone. I am nothing if not determined, and when Mr Grump asked me if I wanted to go for a walk this afternoon, I thought it might be an idea to take my phone and get some pics! (For the other stuff, I am going to Google how to use it)!

Some of my pics of bumble bees on thistles are a little bit rubbish still as I couldn’t see what I was doing as the sun was so bright (ahem, I know a bad workman always blames his tools)but I was quite pleased with the others and have decided to share them with you (whether you like it or not)!!

The area we walked is not too far away from home; these fields are just on the edge of a built up area which houses some office blocks. There is a little river tucked away just behind that as well. On the way back there was a huge field of corn with just a couple of poppies that had sprung up on the outside of  it that looked very pretty.

Episode 419: Photo Fail! —

Episode 419: Photo Fail!

As some of you may know, I am not exactly the most proficient person when it comes to technology. I tend to get by just sticking to the basics,or perhaps asking for a little help when there is something I really need to do understand how to do.

Anyway, myself and Mr Grump were due an upgrade and after a lot of thought (which one comes in the prettiest colours, and has a good camera, as I want to try to learn to take a decent photo as I am rubbish at that as well) I ended up with a really lovely gold coloured phone that can do quite a lot of stuff.

I decided that I would try to use some of these wonderful features as they will go to waste. Well, I was pleased to see I have a pedometer on this health app, so I gave that a go and was delighted that on days that I work. I of course do more than he recommended 6000 steps by double and I surpass my daily activity minutes as well.

So far, so big-headed! (I would be a lot more pleased though if the bloody weight would come off with all this ‘exercise’. Next up I wanted to play with the command thing, where you ask it to do something and it does. Ooooh this is fun, I asked it to text Mr Grump it did! He laughed his head off when I politely asked it to set my work alarm for 5:15am please! Well, most of you will know my take on having good manners!

Having said that I wanted to wring its bloody neck this morning, on my day off, the stupid alarm went off singing away at 5:15. So here I am at 7am on this beautiful Saturday morning,having already been up for a couple of hours (once I am awake that is it, I have to get up).

I didn’t have a lot of success with the camera either. I mentioned that I went to the awards ceremony at Miss Hap’s School on Monday. Well me being me, as I went on my own, I got there too early as I stressed myself about parking. The advantage though was that I got to sit in the 3rd row from the from just behind the teachers. Miss Hap was the very first child up to get her award, and I was there, camera poised.

As her name was called she walked on stage and stood there for a bit, once the subjects that she had got the award in were read out she walked across the stage, shook hands with the chap who was there from the charity the school was supporting this year, and then walked off again. I spent so long trying to zoom in and focus I missed the bloody handshake moment but did at least manage to get a photo of her! Yes, I only managed to get 2 in total due to my faffing about!

There needs to be some sort of course set up for the technodunce!

Episode 147: On Your Bike! — February 6, 2015

Episode 147: On Your Bike!

I admire cyclists; anybody that can manage to keep themselves upright for an unlimited amount of time, whilst balancing on two (very skinny) wheels has my respect. I can actually ride one myself, but when I (rarely) venture out on my bike, I end up pushing it more than riding it, as I am a bit wobbly! Mr Grump and Miss Hap usually end up whizzing past me, leaving me behind.

Anyway, there is one particular cyclist in Britain at the moment, that has made a bit of a name (not to mention reputation) for himself. He is a bus driver for a living, but commutes to work (40 mile round trip) on his bike. The reason he is so different from the norm? He loves to report other road users to the Police if they misbehave.

This guy takes his self-imposed role very seriously indeed, and has kitted himself out with no less than 3 video cameras (wonder where he puts them all)? and a really LOUD horn (I would imagine that in itself could cause an accident if he sets it off,  making people jump and losing concentration).

He films wrong-doers abusing the Highway Code, and dobs them in to the Police. There are no second chances. If you are in the wrong lane and then cut someone up, (especially him), your card is marked; if you go the wrong way around a roundabout (God knows why you would want to), you will be reported. Oh yes, this bloke is on a mission. He will also very kindly plaster his footage all over YouTube so that your antics can be judged by other outraged road users.

He is proud of the fact that he has managed to help convict over 70 careless motorists, but like with everything there is a small price to pay, he is now dubbed ‘Britain’s Most Hated Cyclist. If that wasn’t bad enough, he is so well-known that drivers that come across him, will throw a few punches his way regardless of whether or not they have been captured on his camera for some misdemeanor,

He is not bothered though and is more determined than ever to tackle Britain’s rubbish road users and bring them to justice!

I’m bloody glad he doesn’t live near me!

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