Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

How I Hate Doing Housework! — February 25, 2016
Because The Night — December 17, 2015

Because The Night

Occasionally I have a look at the Daily Prompt and today it asks whether we are an early bird or a night owl. When are we most productive, and when do we do most of our work.

For me there is no question, I am an early bird without a doubt. I am the kind of person that likes to try and get all the jobs done first things so that I can kick back in the evening and relax.

I always love that first hour or so in the morning when it is just me up. Usually, Roxy ambles on down to see what I am up to, scrounges a tidbit then buggers off back to bed leaving me on my own again. That suits me just fine.

For the past few days, due to one thing and another, I have been getting up between 2 am and 4 am as my brain is too busy whirling around to let me get any sleep. Despite being heavy and bleary eyed, I get up, make a cuppa and settle myself down at my laptop. Once I have indulged my guilty pleasure (Oh ok, I love Farmville, there I’ve said it) I can go to my blog. This morning I had a nice early morning conversation with Debby which was a lovely way to start the day.

Sunday mornings at 7 am, will more than likely find me piling into the ironing for an hour or so, again whilst everyone else is asleep so I can get on with it in peace. Mr Grump is the same, and if we have anywhere to go we are normally out the door as early as possible. This might not go down with others who are more relaxed about timekeeping than we are!

Another bonus to getting up early is catching a beautiful sunrise as in this picture. Miss Hap and I took these as she left for school, her photo was better than mine as it shows the pink in the sky more.

As for being a night owl, well, those days are long gone! I am usually falling asleep at 9 pm. I am pushing the boat out tonight as it is already way past my bedtime. It is a ploy so that I am not up at stupid o’clock again tomorrow, fingers crossed. There is early morning, and there is middle of the night!




Episode 259: Multi-Tasking or Mayhem? — March 28, 2015

Episode 259: Multi-Tasking or Mayhem?

Apparently us women are supposed to be pretty good at multitasking; I think I am to a point, especially when I’m on the phone. Sometimes I can be talking to my sister on the phone for an hour or more, so being able to get on with some other jobs at the same time can come in handy!

I am pretty good at ironing with the phone balanced between right ear and shoulder, as well as carrying on a conversation, likewise dusting and polishing.However, I cannot talk and type, or read at the same time. No, that is definitely too much for my poor little brain to manage at once and the concentration goes completely, so that I am either typing rubbish or talking rubbish (well, more so than usual, anyway)!

I can knit and watch TV at the same time though. Yes, I bet you are impressed with that one. What I need to mention here is that only applies if I am following an easy pattern. If I am counting stitches or something that requires a smidgen of thought, then I usually miss a huge chunk of what happened in the film or programme and drive everyone mad by asking what is going on. Other than that if a juicy bit comes on the TV then I need to watch, then stitches can get dropped, or I have to unpick rows that I have buggered  up!

I can’t do anything else whilst driving, except listen to music, and that has only been a recent thing. I suppose it is due to the fact that I am not keen on driving and feel I need to concentrate. When I used to smoke I rarely had a cigarette whilst driving. I remember once when I did, and the top of the cigarette fell off onto my lap (it was still lit), I was panicking like mad trying to bat at it to put it out, whilst concentrate on the road. I didn’t do that again!

At work of course is a different matter entirely, I am a very good multi-tasker as we all have to be. We are constantly running from one job to the next, and on the way to that job, get grabbed to do another one or two. That with answering the buzzers, and talking to relatives, or other medical staff as you go about your chores, is just part and parcel of the job.

Are you a good multi-tasker, and do you think women are better at it than men?

Episode 225: Off Colour! — March 16, 2015

Episode 225: Off Colour!

That’s it, it’s official, Mr Grump is banned from doing the washing! It appears that he is unable to distinguish ‘light’ from ‘dark’ colours, and my fancy underwear has suffered as a result!

Due to the fact that I come home from work with an assortment of ‘germs’, (we have only just cleared the Norovirus from the Ward), we usually put our washing on a reasonably hot wash, hopefully killing off any malingerers!

I usually try to put the loads on myself in order that they are properly sorted out thereby reducing the chances of  colours running into each other. However, this weekend being Mother’s Day, I took the day off from the mundane chores. Big mistake!

Mr Grump’s strategy us to just put the entire contents of the washing bin in the machine on a 60 degree wash and see what happens! He has a penchant for living dangerously as far as my clothes are concerned, as this has happened before (always to my stuff I notice)!

Anyway, I had a really busy day at work today and came home tired. I noticed he had done the ironing which I was pleased about as I needed another dress for work tomorrow. Then I noticed. My lovely new underwear. I have only worn it a couple of times. It was a lovely light blue colour. It is now a grotty grey colour. I am bloody cross!

Actually, he is dropping me off at work tomorrow. Good. As he has the car, he can go into town and buy me some more. Well. at least I will gain something from it!

Episode 104: Oh, How I Hate Doing Housework! — January 15, 2015

Episode 104: Oh, How I Hate Doing Housework!

Oh, How I hate doing housework

There a huge pile of ironing to do

The carpets all need to be vacuumed

And I still haven’t tackled the loo!

There’s dust all over the TV

The bath is covered in grime

I haven’t started preparing the dinner

What HAVE I done with my time?

The sheets on the beds will need changing

The washing bin is filled to the brim

The floor in the kitchen needs scrubbing

The state of the bathroom is grim

I’m fed-up with all of this housework

It really gives me the hump

I think I’ll do some more blogging

And leave the chores to poor old Mr Grump!

Episode 70: Growing Up Too Fast! — December 9, 2014

Episode 70: Growing Up Too Fast!

Miss Hap decided to surprise me this morning. She was up pretty early and thought it would be nice if she finished off making my breakfast for me whilst I was having my bath….

Now I am a creature of habit, and routine (I CAN do spontaneous, but it’s not easy)! When I am working,my breakfast consists of a hard-boiled egg, wholemeal pitta bread, and a little cheese sprinkled on top. Anyway I had put my egg on to boil, and halved the pitta, which I shoved in the toaster, then I went up to have a quick bath, by which time everything would be ready.

I came downstairs to be greeted by Miss Hap in her pyjamas looking despondently at my egg, still in its shell on the worktop.

“Sorry Mum, I’ve broken the egg slicer”, she said dejectedly, “but I’ve fixed it with Sellotape!”  I followed her gaze to my patched up egg slicer. One of the wires was broken and had been taped securely to a couple of the others, rendering the whole thing pretty useless. I reassured her that it didn’t matter, and for now I would just cut up the egg. I could see that she had thought of that as the egg was positioned on the chopping board with a butter knife close by. This was presumably to cut the egg up through the shell.!  I showed her how to crack the egg in order to peel the shell off, which she did for me chunking off quite a bit of the white with it, in the process. What was left of the egg, I divided into the two pitta halves!

I have made a bit of a rod for my own back by not teaching Miss hap to do any chores, and I suppose at 11 years old she should be helping out around the house. I know me and my sisters certainly had to at her age; that is partly why I have left it so long for her.

Due to her inheriting my clumsiness, I have not allowed her as yet to wash or dry the dishes unless there is anything unbreakable, as I didn’t want all my crockery landing up in a smashed heap!  she is allowed to make cups of tea and coffee (that is a MUST in our family) but doesn’t bring in the finished drink as she worries that she will get burnt! The one time she did bring it in she used the oven gloves (she is high on initiative, if not common sense)!

She doesn’t have to do any vacuuming (I worry that either the vacuum will get bashed to smithereens or the furniture will), She will sometimes help me hang out the washing though (well she will hand me the pegs at least)and on the odd occasion has helped me clean the bathroom. Other than that, she doesn’t even run her own bath, as again she worries that she might burn her hand on the hot tap, and knowing her, I worry too, so do it for her!

I think I probably mollycoddle her a bit too much;  I must admit I am surprised when I know some kids get up and make themselves breakfast, which my daughter never does as, left to her own devices, she would raid the crisps or something.I don’t want her to grow up too fast, but neither do I want her not to be able to do anything for herself when she is older.

What do you think? Is 11 too young for chores?

Episode 56: Domestic Goddess? No, But My Husband Is!!! — November 25, 2014

Episode 56: Domestic Goddess? No, But My Husband Is!!!

I’ve often wished that I was more of a practical person.  I am absolutely blown away by some of the talented bloggers around, and quite envious of their abilities. Take Heels and a Toolbox for example (http://www.heelsandatoolbox.com/). She takes on all sorts of DIY tasks, and gives others tips on how to save money by fixing things yourself! What a great idea and if I had a modicum of ability, I would definitely give it a go. My problem is not only being heavy-handed and a little accident prone,but also having a husband who is good at DIY,so I don’t HAVE to do it!

It was mentioned on the same website that some women never have to fill up their own cars with petrol, nor do they know how to! Well that got me thinking actually,as I AM one of those women! I do know how to fill up my car, but I don’t like doing it; the same as I don’t like putting the rubbish out, decorating, mowing the lawn, and other chores that long ago were associated more with the ‘man of the house’.I don’t like anything that is going to break my nails off (even though I must have them reasonably short for work), I don’t want to go grubbing about in the dirt (well not if it means digging the garden anyway, or weeding the flowers).I certainly don’t want to have to climb ladders to do ANY job (that is twofold; one I don’t like heights, two, it is safer for me, and everyone else) if I stay on the ground!

The thing with me is, I am also not that great at things normally associated with the ‘lady of the house’ either. My Mum, sisters and nieces are all really wonderful cooks, and not only can make something out of nothing, but most of them never measure out an ingredient or follow a recipe,unlike me.(I can cook a mean roast dinner though). I am lucky that Mr Grump does all the cooking at home unless I have some mad urge to do it!

I do get involved with housework though, I will clean, dust  plump cushions up, iron clothes, and do the washing. However I only vacuum if I have to, I hate it and it puts me in a bad mood, so good old Mr Grump gets that chore!

I do not get on very well with crafts either,but I am a glutton for punishment and I do constantly try to make things, sometimes I even make a reasonable job of it, (See Episode 21). I do attempt a bit of dressmaking (I use that term very  loosely in my case) but apart from one dress that I can actually wear, have been mostly unsuccessful. I will not give in with it though, just keep trying easier patterns. I can knit though, but all the best stuff I have ever made I have done for others so I actually don’t have anything good myself that I have made!

I am absolutely rubbish with hair, make-up and other things associated with ‘beauty’. I can put a bit of slap on when  the occasion merits it, but it is a tried and tested method I have used for years, and it serves me well .  My hair is long; that is it, pony tail, plait (not a French plait or a fishtail plait mind) or up in a clip..maybe bunches if I am feeling quirky, Oh and for going out, it gets straightened….job done!

I know that when I was on my own, I did have to mow the lawn (how I raged whilst doing it, getting all hot and bothered), I did put the stinky rubbish out, and I even put petrol in my car. Just as I also cooked every meal for me and Miss Hap (luckily she turned out all right), and pushed the vacuum around (bashing into everything as I went). So although I do envy other people’s creativity, talent and practicality, I am just going to have to accept that I missed out when they were handed out, and I must have other ‘hidden’ talents instead. Meanwhile, dear old Mr Grump cracks on with keeping the house in order!

Episode 8: Lazy Sunday…! — September 28, 2014

Episode 8: Lazy Sunday…!

Sundays are not  relaxed and peaceful days in our house, as there are plenty of chores to do in order to be prepared for the week ahead….

As I am an early bird (lie-ins to me are getting up at 7.30am) I thought I would crack on with the ironing, which had built up during the week from the molehill when I last looked,  to the mountain this morning! As I was working my way through, I realised that some of my clothes had taken on a new lease of life, and were differently coloured than before. This, however was not an improvement, whites had become sludge, dirty dishwater grey, and some of the brightly coloured items, were now dull and drab. Mr Grump has been ‘helping’ with the washing again!

During the week the washing machine had been playing up, and Mr Grump set about it with his ‘tool box’. He was so delighted that the flashing lights had gone,and a load of filthy water had come out of the drain plug (all over the kitchen floor, which he proceeded to mop up with my nice clean towels, grrrrr) that he shoved a load of washing on with no regard for mixing all the different colours together.

Ironing done, we all set off to do the obligatory grocery shopping. Miss Hap needed some ingredients  for a ‘fruit fusion’ she was making in her first cookery(!) lesson at school tomorrow, so, as she needed quite a selection, we ended up getting a load more stuff on top of the usual weekly shop.

Back home Mr Grump decided that it was now time to get rid of the orange ‘grenade’ shaped light that was continuously showing up on the dashboard of my car; spare part and trusty tool box in hand, and flushed with success at fixing the washing machine he buggered off outside, leaving me to put away the shopping.

The fridge and freezer are his domain; he carefully fits everything in nice and neatly, but this is not my style. I rammed all of the bits and pieces in haphazardly, along with the two pots of salad I had made myself for work for the next two days. I could hear Mr Grump outside the kitchen window, working on my car, the bangs and taps he was making under the bonnet did not bode well, and sure enough, after a while he came in disgruntled, as he had been unable to even remove the part that needed replacing, despite the brute force he had exerted on it!

He decided to make himself a cup of tea to calm his nerves (a cup of tea is the cure-all for every stressful situation), and as he opened the fridge to get out the milk, one of my salad pots decided to do a leap of faith and somersaulted out of the fridge, landing with a ‘splat’ on the floor. The top had come loose but luckily not much had spilled out. Mr Grump bent down to pick it up forgetting that the fridge door was still open, so as he stood up he whacked his head on the open door.

Stifling my laughter (he was not even in the slightest bit amused), I busied myself  with the task of preparing the vegetables for the roast dinner we would be having later (It is boiling hot outside, but being a traditionalist, Sundays means roast and that’s that)! Miss Hap went to Nanny’s for her roast as they are ‘so much better’ than mine!

In fact, she has just come home now, so the battle will begin to cajole, coerce, and ‘encourage’ her to get her homework done, Happy Days!

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