Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode : 374: Reasons I am So Untrendy……. — June 14, 2015

Episode : 374: Reasons I am So Untrendy…….

I like to know what is going on in the world, and to keep  up-to-date with the latest trends. Having a young daughter also keeps me in the loop of what is happening (mainly because she keeps telling me that I haven’t got a clue)! Here’s why…

  • I hate ‘Game of Thrones!’ I just don’t get it at all; from what I have seen of it so far (and I usually put my headphones on and blog when Mr Grump has it on) everyone is a Prince or Queen or something. Not only that, there seems to be a hell of a lot of gory endings, people getting bumped off every five minutes! Add to that a load of sex, and some of that incestous! It is, in a nutshell, a bunch of royals, having it off with everyone, then plotting their most savage and brutal demise!
  • There is no way on earth I can do this new ‘belly button challenge!’ It involves wrapping one of your arms around your back and touching your belly button to prove what a fit body you have! Hmmmm, I don’t need to become a contortionist to know that I might not be quite as fit as I should be! If I tried to do that, I would no doubt pull or tear something, rendering myself even more unfit!
  • As much as I like to watch a Disney film, there is no way I would want to get married in a Disney princess inspired wedding dress! I mean the Little Mermaid was lovely, but who would want to totter down the aisle wearing a bloody great fishtail?!
  • I could not be trusted with a ‘selfie stick! Now I know these are very popular at the moment and help get a much better photo, but I am not keen. Not only would I feel ridiculous waving it around in the air trying to get the right spot, but knowing me I would end up poking someone in the eye, or giving someone an unexpected clout whilst trying to concentrate on capturing the perfect shot!
  • I don’t want to ‘Keep up with the Kardashians!’ For a start there are far too many of them and I don’t know who they all are! Kim and Kanye being forever in the news is starting to get boring! Now that she is having another baby (will it be called South)? we will be bombarded with every last detail. Kylie and her pouty lips has already annoyed me, as Miss Hap tried to copy her as you can see here.

What makes matters worse is that Mr Grump is much more trendy than I am!

Episode 222: Happy Mother’s Day! — March 15, 2015

Episode 222: Happy Mother’s Day!

Today is Mother’s Day here in the UK. My 11-year-old daughter has very kindly offered to do my hair and make-up for me today, as a pampering treat. Later on I will be going to visit my own mother to spend a bit of time with her.

Being a mother is pretty tough at times and we all take a different approach to it. I thought I would take a light-hearted look at some of the different types of mothers I have encountered.

The Good All Rounder Mum

Oh how I envy this type of Mum. She is the one whose kids always look immaculate.(Poor little Miss Hap, after 10 minutes she manages to manages to look as if I have sent her out with clothes that have never seen an iron, and are not on great terms with the washing machine either)!

These Mums always bake wonderful cakes whenever they have a school fete, or special fund-raising day or something. I however have sent in shop bought cakes when I have had the customary five minutes notice from my daughter panicking when she realises she forgot to tell me to make something. In my defence I have (when I have the right ingredients)  sent in some of my home-made delights!

My biggest envy of these mums though is on occasions when ‘fancy dress’ is called for, You know the nativity play, World Book Day, and other occasions. One of my neighbours is a good all round mum, and I remember when our kids were at primary school when they had to dress up. She sent her son and daughter as the Queen and Knave of hearts. They had wonderful home-made outfits and she had even made a tray with jam tarts on it, such was her attention to detail. My daughter went as Tutankhamun with a cheap outfit from eBay and some wonky eye make-up applied by her cack-handed mother!

The Cliquey Mum

Oh we all know this type of mum. She is the one waiting at the school gates, chatting away to a few of the other cliquey mums. They are always involved in some way with the school, usually as a governor, and they always help out at the fund-raising occasions as well.

I always keep out of their way whenever possible. Miss Hap made quite a name for herself at primary school what with her tendency to want to escape, plus her curiosity in finding out what happens when you flood the toilets! They know everything about every child it seems and I have been on the end of their disapproving glances many a time.

The Over-Protective Mum

This is the Mum who kisses their kids goodbye at the secondary school gates (much to their disgust) having driven them to school when all the other kids have caught the bus. This mum has packed a lovely healthy and nutritious lunch for their child (who tries to swap it  with anyone that has something that is not allowed)!

This child has got on sensible shoes and a spare set of underwear (just in case). The school has about 10 contact numbers for mum for every eventuality. When the child has a cold they are kept off from school for a week to recover and be looked after by their doting mummy.

The Cool Mum

She is the one that rolls up to school just as the bell is going. She wears the latest trendy clothes and always looks great. Her kids also trendy hairstyles which are just on the cusp of being acceptable for school. They are all good-looking, have the best sleepovers, and have loads of friends.

We none of us mums are perfect, and all try our best to bring up decent, kind and respectful children, whatever our style. I would just like to pay tribute to all mums, be they biological, foster, adoptive or step. You are doing a bloody good job!

Episode 124: Mum’s The Word….. — January 26, 2015

Episode 124: Mum’s The Word…..

I was going to write about motivation today, or rather the lack of! I am still trying to get back on my feet, so to speak, after this nasty bout of depression, Finding motivation to do anything is a little bit tricky. Anyway, I typed the word ‘motivation’ into google (probably trying to get a bit of inspiration as well), and one of the results that came back was the word ‘notivation’ which according to the Urban Dictionary means the opposite of motivation. This describes my feelings to a tee!

Now, I do love words, and their meanings; I love playing with them  and rhyming them. I have the Oxford Dictionary, a few nursing dictionaries, also  couple of foreign language ones, however I never stumbled across this urban dictionary before. This is probably because I am old and a bit naff and this urban stuff is for the cool kids.

Oh how I wish I had found this site before. It is soooo funny! I have learned new words that need no explanation, but say ‘exactly what is says on the tin’! (I nicked that expression from an advert). What do you think about ‘ambitchous’? I love that! I could find a few handy uses for that word. I love the examples used on the site of how the words are best used, but they are too naughty for here, but hilarious all the same!

Being as behind the times as I am, no doubt you have already found this site 10 years ago, and it is probably old hat. For me though, it is like a guilty pleasure! I am a woman who is easily pleased, and I have found no end of amusement and entertainment browsing through some of those words! I take my hat off to those that thought some of them up. Very clever.

I think it extremely important to have a wide and varied vocabulary, and I have just added a few more (albeit dodgy) words to mine! I might even try some of the cleaner ones out on my ‘street savvy’ 11 year old. That will make her cringe in embarrassment. She goes mad as it is when I try and sing along to some of the music she likes, but get the words wrong. Or, even worse, when there is a song out that has been rejigged and messed about with, from  years ago,and I will sing the original version!

Ahhhh yes, things are a-changing around here. I am no longer fuddy-duddy Mum,  I am ‘sick’ Mum! (In more ways than one I reckon)!

It

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