Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

#SoCS In Other Words — February 3, 2018

#SoCS In Other Words

This week Linda has given us, in other words, to use for our Stream of Consciousness posts, which can be used any way we choose.  

I seem to be one of those people who ‘go around the houses’ when I want to say something, especially if I want a favour from somebody. You know the kind of thing, for example, this morning I said to my husband that we should take my car to go supermarket shopping as it would be easier, and told him many reasons why this was, knowing that if we did he would drive. There was an ulterior motive for this though which he was to find out a bit later on when I mentioned that the car could do with some petrol. I hate petrol stations and thought I could wrangle it so that he filled the car up for me. It worked, but he knows me well, and as soon as I had finished wheedling around him persuading him to take my car he said, “in other words, you need petrol!”

#SoCS Resolution — December 30, 2017

#SoCS Resolution

This week Linda has given us resolution to use for our Stream of Consciousness posts, which can be used any way we choose.  

This year I am not sure that I am going to make any New Year resolutions. The thing is, they start off well and then get left behind. This leads to guilt and deprivation, then more doing what I have resolved to give up, then more guilt and deprivation until we get to the end of the year and I am in worse shape than when I started the year!

Of course, I am mainly referring to my weight, and my struggle to lose it. I don’t know what is the matter with me but I just can’t seem to do it and it is getting me down, big time! My blood sugars are all over the place as well at the moment, which just adds to the mess! I haven’t been to the gym or healthy lifestyle appointments either, as I did quite a bit of comfort eating lately, which has led to me not wanting to know how much I weigh, and I feel guiltier than ever that my earlier enthusiasm has gone off on holiday!

Anyway, this post has got a bit depressing and is rapidly going downhill, which was not my intention at all! It does not mean that I am giving up completely on my healthy living quest, just that I am going to take a new approach to it, without putting too much pressure on myself, therefore dooming myself to failure. That is my resolution.

Any ideas?

SoCS You'll Yule, Yul
Episode 468: An Apple A Day…… — August 22, 2015

Episode 468: An Apple A Day……

Last week saw me at an appointment with a ‘Health and Well-Being Advisor.’  I am having a bit of trouble managing my weight still  and am seriously lacking in motivation due to being in a bit of a low mood. Anyway, this, of course, is having a knock-on effect with my Diabetes and I am constantly getting other minor things wrong which are annoying.

Anyway, time to take things in hand and I trotted off, to be told what I already knew, that I was overweight and unhealthy. Unfortunately, things were worse than I had anticipated. I had reluctantly braved the scales that morning to see what the damaged was, and was not impressed with the figures, despite trying not to put all my weight on there and make it worse! The problem with having a big tummy us that you can’t see the display on the scales so my balancing act was not helping and I had to let loose the full load!

I was greeted by a very slim and smiley woman who assured me that we would be able to sort something out and get me into some kind of diet and exercise routine. My height and weight were measured (in metric, I had done it in feet and inches and stone as the figures were smaller), and then my BMI (body mass index), was worked out.

I had done enough of these myself on patients to know that the result was not going to be pretty and it wasn’t. Morbidly obese! Morbidly obese, Oh My God, how the hell did I let myself get into this state.

The next little treat was the hips to waist ratio. Christ, please let my hips be bigger than my waist….PLEASE!  I jokingly mentioned that there was not a lot in it, and sure enough it was only 3cms. Again I joked that I had not been blessed with an hourglass figure. At least my hips were bigger than my waist…JUST!

These numbers were crunched on the computer and it was gauged on a coloured thermometer type thing. Needless to say, it shot straight up to the top which was not only red but had a sad face emoticon to add insult to injury! Well, actually that was not the only insult as there was an explanation as to each category and mine was ‘over fat.’ Over fat,  How bloody rude! Kick a girl when she is down why don’t you.

She then wanted to see what my fitness levels were. What hideous torture have they got planned for me this time? I wondered. Luckily, it was just a sit to stand test to see how many I could do in 30 seconds. I actually passed this one with flying colours, having completed 15 when the average was 12. Mind you, thinking about it, who was it average for? Not some young athletic type I am sure of that!

The penultimate check was the good old body fat measure. I had to stand gripping what looked like a steering wheel device for the WiiFit, with my arms outstretched until it scanned me over and displayed my overall blubber content! Well, at least it was less than half!!!

Last but by no means least, was a questionnaire to assess mood. Well as you can imagine, it was right down there in the lowest quarter. It might have been a bit better if they had done that first, but I doubt it would have been by much.

I came home armed with charts and wheels and ‘My Fitness Pal’ app downloaded on my phone; my already low self-esteem in tatters!

Maybe this is just the kick up the arse I need to do something about it!

Episode 253: More Than I Bargained For…. — March 26, 2015

Episode 253: More Than I Bargained For….

Yesterday afternoon I had to go to an appointment for my ‘yearly diabetes review.’ Seeing as I have only been officially diagnosed for about a month, I thought that the surgery were very ‘on the ball!’ I had already had to change the appointment from today as I was originally working, so that it was on my day off.

Anyway, I had fallen asleep in the afternoon as I had a couple of really awful sleepless nights, plus an early morning yesterday, so was shattered. I woke up feeling really groggy, with less than an hour to go before I had to be there. Mr Grump was going to come with me as he usually finished work way before the time I needed to be there.

He didn’t. I waited and waited, I still hadn’t heard from him (I was on the landline with my sister for about 10 mins) so I jumped in the car and got there 5 mins late! I HATE being late, and am usually 10 minutes (at least) early for everything, so it put me out and I was cross!

I tried to book myself in on the screen, but the ‘computer said no’ I was too late and had a sad face to emphasise the point! I had more than a sad face, I was wild! Anyway I spoke to the receptionist who was actually quite nice (Doctor’s receptionists have rather a scary reputation) and said it was ok and that she would tell the nurse I was there. (I whispered as discreetly as I could (when there is a waiting room full of people it is not always easy) if she could give me a pot as I had forgotten to bring a urine sample with me.

She made a nice performance out of rummaging for a bag (it was see-through) for me to put it in, then said that I might get called in straight away, and there might not be time to go to the loo. I thanked her and went to sit down, I saw my friend’s partner so chatted with him for a bit, as I had not been called in The receptionist sidled up to me, and stage whispered that I could go and do my sample as the specialist nurse was making a quick cuppa!

I excused myself from the friend and went off to do my business. My mobile buzzed into life, as I went to sit down but I ignored it (I hate talking on the phone in public places). It was Mr Grump! I sent him a couple of choice texts then my name flashed up to be seen.

I went into the room, apologising for being late, and muttering about husbands! She told me to calm down a minute before she took my blood pressure! Anyway, she stared at me a bit then asked me whether I went to the Grammar School. I said yes, and it turns out she was in thee same class. I didn’t remember her name, but her face was familiar.

That made me feel even worse. Here I was , no make-up on, scraggy hair, stupid from sleep still, and in a bad mood to boot! Things did not improve when she told me to put my sample down, take off my boots and socks and get on the scales!

Oh the bloody humiliation, I have got horrid feet, and she was going to have to get close to them to check them, as well as see how heavy I am! She, of course was slim, pretty and nicely groomed. Great!

She was however professional (well once we had gossiped a bit about this and that) and spent a lot of time looking at my previous bloods and God knows what else. She ended up putting me on meds for my diabetes which I really wasn’t expecting as I have been trying really hard with my diet, as well as taken up hula-hooping thanks to lovely Ritu

She also was concerned about  a couple of things which prompted her to ask me whether or not there was rheumatoid arthritis in my family. Strange question I thought, but my Mum has terrible arthritis but I am not sure which type. She also wanted to know if my joints ached. Well, I do have problems with my knees a lot. Anyway I am now going to have to be screened for that!

I came out of there a bit bemused, and shocked. I know people complain bitterly about the NHS, but they have been very thorough with me. I certainly got much more than I bargained for, in more ways than one!

Episode 180: Fitness Not Fatness — February 25, 2015

Episode 180: Fitness Not Fatness

Having been diagnosed with diabetes Type 2, I am trying to change my lifestyle habits in order to try to keep my blood sugars down, thus avoiding having to take medication, for as long as I possibly can.

This means, not only eating healthier meals with smaller portion sizes, but taking more physical exercise. The days that I am at work I know that I am constantly running around, but I need to do much more exercise for the rest of the time.

There is one exercise class though that I really wish I could go to, but it is too far away unfortunately! It is a kind of aerobics class called ‘Jungle Body’ but the reason I would love to go is because it is run by a woman who weighs 18 1/2 stone, This is roughly 117.4kg and 260 pounds!

Now I think this woman is an inspiration. She has already lost 5 stone herself (31 kg and 70 pounds) and has totally altered her unhealthy lifestyle. She is now 6 dress sizes smaller, and a lot fitter.

She is right in thinking that women would prefer to go to her classes as she is not judgemental of them, plus they are not intimidated by her, as they possibly would be if she were slim and svelte.

As I have an extra day off today, I decided to be proactive and plan my meals out, so that I know I have the right foods available and don’t raid the fridge! That was all well and good, but we needed to go food  shopping first! No bloody car means trudging 40 mins to the Supermarket. Great, a bit of exercise to boot.

Mr Grump came with me, armed with his backpack to lug the shopping home with, and off we trotted.We have done this walk a few times recently due to having no car, but it was starting to get a bit boring now! My trainers were rubbing my toe, and I was hungry as we walked through the industrial estate (which houses all the restaurants and takeaways), due to only having a few tablespoons of sugar-free muesli for breakfast!

Anyway, we had to get rather a lot of stuff, so the backpack was bursting, plus we (by that I mean Mr Grump), had 2 more heavy carrier bags, and I had one to take as well. Poor Mr Grump was grimacing all the way home. He resembled a snail with his huge backpack on his back and his skinny little body underneath all the weight. Bless him. Of course by the time we got back home, I had worked up one hell of an appetite!

I have a feeling that these lifestyle changes are going to take a bit of getting used to. However, I am inspired by that fitness instructor; her dedication is paying off, so there is no reason why I can’t do it as well.

Episode 177: Geared up to Fail! — February 23, 2015

Episode 177: Geared up to Fail!

As days off go, today has not been a great success so far. To start with Miss Hap is back at school after a week off for half term. This involved her stomping about quite a lot this morning gathering her bits and pieces needed for the day (I am still working on organising her) whilst all the while berating the fact that she has to go to school at all.

Anyway, Mr Grump has got a load of time off still due to his annual leave-build up, so he is home getting under my feet. As I had an appointment today with other newly diagnosed Type 2 diabetics in order to educate us on how to manage our condition, I thought that Mr Grump could make himself useful and drive me in.

As some of you know, my car has been off the road for ages, and has recently had a new catalytic converter fitted, and a bit of welding done so that it is now legally roadworthy again. As we drove up the motorway Mr Grump went into the middle lane to overtake a slow lorry and changed into 5th gear as he did so, Unfortunately, it wouldn’t get in gear (he mentioned before that he has trouble getting it in 5th, I never have this problem) and we were kind of in limbo as she frantically pummelled the gearstick to get it to engage, whilst cursing and moaning.

I took exception to this rough treatment of my car, and It was a pretty hairy experience so I went quiet and surly until we arrived at the hospital. I did manage to bark out a few things I needed from the Supermarket as he was going grocery shopping.

There were about 8 of us at this meeting, and I was one of the youngest. I already knew quite a lot about diabetes anyway so I thought that 4 hours was going to be a bit of a stint, Having said that, it was very interesting knowing what a proper food portion size should equate to. Mine have obviously been a little on the over-generous side, as is the size of my dinner plate!

Anyway, luckily it lasted on three hours (Thank God as I was starving playing with all the pretend food the Dietician got out of her bag). We were told to bring a sandwich which I did but had no time to eat it, (I have a feeling that mine,had she examined it, might not have been the correct size either!

Mr Grump collected me and we came home the back roads as opposed to the motorway (presumably to avoid a repeat performance of the gear changing episode). Ass we were nearing home, he crunched 3rd gear this time and I muttered a bit, As we pulled into the parking space, the clutch vibrated wildly and then went! Nothing! He has broken my bloody car!

Episode 9: Bittersweet — September 29, 2014

Episode 9: Bittersweet

Monday morning,the start of the working week, uniform ironed, lunch made, car fuelled up….everything is ready. Only problem is, the bloody lurgy has come back AGAIN!! I can’t believe it, I have only just shaken off a sore throat and fever (see previous posts), and now it has come back with a vengeance in less that a WEEK!! This time as well as previous symptoms, I now have the full-blown sneezy, snotty, not to mention snorty, cold that goes with it!! This time, I decided I will go and see the doctor…..

I go to wake Mr Grump up,for him to get ready for work, and as he got out of bed, he startled me by emitting a mighty yelp! It turns out that his shoulder was hurting (He injured it at work about 3 months ago when he slipped on some wet steps whilst lugging some goods he was delivering, and he fell all the way to the bottom) and every now and again it plays him up.However, off he went in his little delivery van to start his rounds.

Miss Hap trudged off to school, laden with so many bags (PE kit, cookery ingredients, plus usual books etc) that I could barely see her beneath them all. God knows, whether I am going to get my ‘fruit fusion’ as promised, or whether it will end up being a smoothie due to the fruit getting mangled on the journey to school!

Anyway, with those two out of the way, I settled down on the sofa to languish in my self-pity, and watched awful daytime tv, punctuated with regular loud sneezes exploding from my poor nose, making my head hurt. …

After about an hour I got a call from Mr Grump. He was at his first delivery, and just as he was finishing bringing in his last load, his shoulder gave out completely, so he was waiting for the boss to pick him up to bring him home, and he would need to see the doctor…could I make him an appointment?!

I said I would, but didn’t hold out much hope that he would get one,as  I had  spent 15 mins trying to get through on constant redial, and then could not get one until after 4pm. Needless to say, once I told the receptionist what had happened to him he got one for 12.30!

Another half an hour goes by, and then I get another call from Mr Grump. His boss had dropped him off a few of miles away as he had a meeting to go to, and could I pick him up?!! NO, I bloody couldn’t! I’m supposed to be wallowing in my illness here, I didn’t want him home moaning and groaning about his shoulder all day, and demanding attention! Still, guilt got the better of me and I dragged myself out to get him! My guilt was compounded when the doctor signed him off for two weeks with a suspected torn muscle (OUCH)! Still, at least the dog was pleased to see him!

My turn came to see the doctor,and as suspected, it was a virus, inflamed throat, hacking cough, fever etc,  but I would just have to put up with it; however the results were back from the blood test I had done last week, and although most of them were fine, the fasting blood sugar was too high, and that coupled with other symptoms I had been experiencing, meant that I now had Type 2 Diabetes. Shit! I didn’t see that coming…..

My mind was reeling as she printed off some information sheets, and informed me that for the first three months I would have to go on a strict diet to try to control the blood sugars, Oh My God, this is going to mean a lot of changes,I had already cut out what little sugar I ate anyway, but now would have to be extra vigilant for the hidden sugars that are in so many foods. Plus of course I would need to eat a healthier diet. She then told me nonchalantly that she would register me as a diabetic, and ushered me out of the door!

Stunned, Mr Grump and I went to pick up his prescriptions that he had got earlier, from the pharmacy, and he asked me what cough mixture I wanted to try to assuage this awful bark that I have. “For Christ’s sake make sure it’s the sugar-free variety!” I answered…I think there may be some challenges ahead!

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