Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 264: Snail’s Nails — March 30, 2015

Episode 264: Snail’s Nails

Doing the job that I do, you have to have a pretty strong stomach at times, It is quite ironic really, as I  have always been pretty squeamish! I even have to look away in horror and action movies when there is too much blood and gore, regardless of the fact that of course, it is not real.

Mr Grump is totally the opposite, He loves it. He enjoys a good ‘fly on the wall’ hospital documentary where someone is having half their head drilled, or sawn off before a surgeon delves in and started poking about, pulling things around, or talking bits out. He is thrilled to see broken bones sticking out of skin, and blood pouring out massive wounds, he nudges me to draw my attention to it, but I don’t want to know.

However, when I am at work I can deal with blood, pus,puke, poo, festering wounds and horrible scars. As much as they can be pretty unpleasant at the time, I deal with it, then cringe about it later!

I might have mentioned before that I do not like feet! We have this poor old lady in that had probably not had her toenails cut for well over 10 years. They are so bad that the big toenail is all curled over and ridged, All the other nails are long too and dig into the adjacent toes although the patient says they do not hurt her.

Anyway, yesterday I was helping another member of staff to wash her, and as the patient turned over, she let out a squeal and complained that her toe hurt. Sure enough it was bleeding slightly, We got some dressings quickly and dressed the toe. The huge nail had completely come off in one piece.

Once we had finished I looked in the sheet. There was this huge chunk of nail, almost like an empty snail shell…except that it had a bit of skin still attached to it!…I felt a little queasy!

What makes you squeamish?

Episode 134: Egg On My Face…. — February 2, 2015

Episode 134: Egg On My Face….

“Mum, I’ve forgotten my bus pass”  are not the words that you want to hear at 8am on a Monday morning! Especially if you are still groggy form a dreadful nights sleep…..

My eleven year old daughter is disorganisation personified! No matter how hard I try, how much cajoling, wheedling, and finally grounding  makes no difference at all. She has a head like a sieve (no idea where she gets that from), and no amount of nagging, or should I say ‘reminding’ gets the information into her stubborn head!

I am at home today, waiting for my car to be fixed. I thought I might go mad and do a bit of housework, and other bits and pieces indoors. So for that reason, I have dressed appropriately. A pair of leggings and a long line short-sleeved top are perfect for the tasks I intend to carry out,

They are not however, perfect for having to hot-foot it to the bus stop to deliver the bloody bus pass!  I brushed aside the wearing of socks today, preferring to slop about in my comfy mid heel mules. The problem I had was that time was of the essence, as my daughter and her friend were hoping to catch the next bus at 8.20 and the bus stop is at least a 10 minute walk away.

I grabbed my heavy waterproof jacket and set off. As I was ‘clip-clopping’ down the road in my mules, I smiled at people who were scraping the ice off their cars, ready for work, There were a few raised eyebrows as they clocked my poor, freezing sockless feet in the summer mules, but i walked on head held high!

I phoned my daughter on the way and told her to meet me halfway. She agreed, but I finally caught up with her at the local park, about 2 mins away from the bus stop. Her and her friend sauntered in, totally unperturbed, scoffing sausage rolls (presumably with the money she got from the ‘tooth fairy’ last night)! She grabbed the bus pass, ignored my mini-rant, and dawdled back to the bus stop!

I sped home realising that I had left the pan on with my boiled egg for breakfast in it, hoping that I still had a home left! Luckily, there was a bit of water left in the pan and my egg was hard-boiled to perfection. Just as I like it!

I still have the problem of trying to get my daughter to remember her bus pass in the mornings. Any ideas?!

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