Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 303: You Know You Are An Old Codger When……. — April 24, 2015

Episode 303: You Know You Are An Old Codger When…….

  • You bend down to pick something up, and not only do your knees creak more than a door that needs oiling, but you find it really difficult to get back up again!
  • You are too vain to wear your glasses outside of work, but can’t read something unless you hold it up, do the sliding back and forth manoeuvre in front of your face and add in a squint for good measure.
  • You still spend a lot of time in the bathroom, but it is normally because you have to get out so many times a night to go to the loo!
  • High heels are no more than an inch and a half; shoes are for comfort not style!
  • You snore louder than the dog, and have even woken yourself up!
  • You can no longer tolerate much alcohol. The three-day hangover you now get after a couple of glasses of wine is never worth it!
  • Whenever you go anywhere, you have to remember to take your medications with you!
  • Forget the sexy lingerie, it is practical garments that cover the essentials properly!
  • You become rather ‘set in your ways’ and get mad if someone buggers up your routine.
  • If someone rings after 9pm, you are outraged that they would be calling ‘at this time of night’!
  • You try to sing along to your favourite song, and realise (a) it has been remixed, mucked about with and re-released or (b) you have forgotten the words!
  • You are married to a Grumpy Old Git!
Episode 216: Mum’s The Word! — March 12, 2015

Episode 216: Mum’s The Word!

On Sunday, here in the UK it is Mother’ s Day. My Mum is quite a character and I have written about her a few times over the last six months, which is no surprise of course, seeing as she is one of the biggest influences in my life! I thought I would share a few more snippets of her wise and wonderful ways!

She is 82 years old, yet refers to both of her neighbours and others younger than her as ‘old ladies’! That always makes me laugh. How old do you have to be before you consider yourself old?

She is the worst ‘re-gifter’ in the world! I think most of the girls in my family have been on the receiving end of something we recognised giving her for a previous birthday or Christmas present!

On a similar theme. She leaves the prices on all the presents and also forgets to label them, so sometimes you open a present which you really like only to have it snatched out of your hand and told it isn’t meant for you! Or worse still, you might get a rather snazzy pair of boxer shorts, which despite most things being unisex these days, some women are not so keen on the front opening!

When you phone her up if she does actually hear it and pick it up, you can barely hear her voice over the racket of the TV. It is positively BLARING! When you go round there, you are almost sent reeling with the assault on your eardrums!

She is one of the best cooks I know! Although my Mum does not do as much baking as she used to, she still makes a damn good roast dinner. As long as you can overlook the fact that the meat might have been cooked the day before and left in the microwave overnight as she put it there to cool down as it ‘is covered’ and then forgot about it!

She has a tissue permanently up her sleeve! What is it with old ladies and their tissues? I thought it was only little kids that had permanently snotty noses, (and they never have a tissue handy preferring to wipe it on whatever is to hand). Every room you go in there will be a crumpled up tissue!

Starts a sentence with, “I don’t want to be a pain but…” and you know you are not going to like what you hear next! She has just done all of her shopping and when you go to put it away she realises that she forgot to get milk or some other necessity that you had reminded her about constantly whilst in the supermarket! Or Another one…. you are all going out somewhere, a few miles away, you are nearly there when she tells you she has ‘forgotten her purse’. You tell her it doesn’t matter but no, you have to go all the way back to get it!

Those are just a few of the little ways my mum has that drive us all mad! However, she has been there for us all at some time or another over the years, and having six children could not have been easy for her, I hope she realises that she is appreciated!

Marsha Ingrao Always Write

Having fun blogging with friends

Rachael's Thoughts

Lifestyle blog featuring the fabulous North East and beyond

My Window

Sharing my thoughts, poems, travel & art

WordPress.com Apps

Apps for any screen

Learning to write

Just your average PhD student using the internet to enhance their CV

Jemverse

Life in words

Stuff and what if...

Exploring writing and the creative randomness of life. Snapshots of moments.

Aakashsoyanthone

Aakashsoyanthone

Gin & Lemonade

...with a twist.

Peacock Poetry

by Sam Allen

Tallis Steelyard

The jumbled musings of Tallis Steelyard

Diary of a Dublin Housewife

Diary of a Dublin Housewife

Carolina Russo Art

Capturing Essence: Intuitive Watercolors, Fine Art, Illustrations, and Reiki-Infused Creations

Two on a Rant

Rants, humor, sarcasm, and a haiku-like substance? It's hard to know what's going to come out of our minds next.

We Are Holistic

Promoting a Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit

Cindy Knoke

Photography, Birds and Travel

pensitivity101

An onion has many layers. So have I!

Fatty McCupcakes

Rants, Ramblings, and Regrets

From Michigan to Germany

A family from Michigan living abroad in Germany.