Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Seven Senseless Silly Sayings — December 8, 2017

Seven Senseless Silly Sayings

It’s funny how we incorporate these little sayings into our lives (many that our own parents have said to us in the past) that don’t seem to make any sense. Here are a few of my favourites…

  1. “If you don’t eat your dinner, you won’t get any pudding.” This was said to us as kids if we had left our meal in order to get to the rather nicer looking dessert. This is a bit silly really as, if we ate all our dinner we might not have room for any pudding, let alone enjoy it!
  2. “If the wind changes you will stay like that.” We have all poked our tongue out at someone or made a face behind their back. This threat was supposed to deter us from doing this, but I really don’t think anyone ever believed it.
  3. “Do you want a smack?” This really makes me laugh. As if anyone is going to say, “Oh yes please, the harder the better” (On second thoughts with all this 50 Shades stuff being popular at the moment…)Anyway, as kids when you are being naughty and your mum threatens you with this, you do tend to behave yourself pretty quick! In the same vein what about,
  4.  ” Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about!” For a start, if you are in a state about something, it is not always easy ( especially as a child) to just instantly stop crying, but if you don’t you are in for a clout. A bit of a no-win one this is!
  5. ” Go and wash behind your ears, you could grow spuds there” Even if it were possible, why would anyone want to grow potatoes on their head! Well, perhaps if they came out as crisps or chips it might be appealing.
  6. “Who’s she, the cat’s mother? I can’t even begin to think where this originated from, but it was one of my mum’s favourites when I was young.
  7. “Shut the bloody door, were you born in a barn?” This was another saying that was well-used in our house when I was growing up.

Those are some of my favourite sayings. Do you have any?

#SoCS – Egg — March 19, 2016

#SoCS – Egg

school, sports day, races, parents
image courtesy of Wikimedia

We have rather a topical prompt word for Linda’s Stream of Consciousness this week with ‘egg’.

Now, of course, my first thought was Easter as that is hurtling towards us at tremendous speed. I am sure I could go on and on about Easter eggs, but that will only make me hungry and I haven’t got any chocolate in the house at the moment!!

I am going to go totally down another path and talk about the good old British sports days of yesteryear. When I was at school, I remember them being lots of fun (we are talking about primary school here). A lot of effort went into organising the games, and of course, parents were invited too.

This meant that all the children wanted to try their best to impress their parents. We had all the usual running races, but there were the fun ones too like the egg and spoon race (being a klutz I was rubbish at this), the sack race (pretty exhausting this one, jumping about in a small sack trying to get to the finish line), and the three-legged race, being tied at the ankles to another child, and having to run in unison to the finish line.

As you can imagine with these races, there was a lot of tripping and falling over, but we just got up and kept going.

It was all very competitive in those days too, it was encouraged to want to win. At the end of it,  there was usually a mum’s and a dad’s race. I don’t remember my mum ever taking part in this and I can’t say I blame her, as that was also pretty competitive!

Last time I went to Miss Hap’s sports day at primary school, there were none of the races I remembered so well. There was a skipping race, that she managed to win despite losing a shoe! It is not about the winning now, though, everyone get points and prizes which are totted up at the end.

There were  no mums and dads, shoes off, sleeves rolled up, ready to run for glory down the length of the school field elbowing away their rivals (Thank God)! No, it is all very civilised now. For a start, most of the schools use a local sporting facility or recreation ground as they don’t have a field.The area they cordon off for the races are much shorter than I remember. The kids all have their bottles of water, sunhats and suncream on. We didn’t, if we burnt to a crisp then so be it!

Sometimes change can be a good thing!

 

An Open Letter to Patient’s Relatives. — September 20, 2015

An Open Letter to Patient’s Relatives.

Dear Patients’ Relatives

We are pretty flexible when it comes to visiting hours;  3pm until 8pm every day is pretty generous, especially as we also allow visiting outside of these hours for many other circumstances. This enables most of you time to spend with your loved ones.

We do ask you to remember however, that we appreciate how special your relative is to you, but so is every other patient on the ward. Sometimes we have to prioritize, and yes, we will plump your mum’s pillow up for her, but please, just let us deal with this patient first who is hemorrhaging.

We know your father might have told you that he hasn’t eaten today, but before you berate us loudly in front of everyone, let me show you his food chart, where you can see that he ate all of his porridge for breakfast and had a roast beef dinner for lunch, not to mention rhubarb crumble for pudding! You know he has short-term memory problems and often forgets, so please just check with us.

Oh, I know your nan has just had an ‘accident.’ I am just going to get some of our toiletries and a hospital gown as it seems that no-one has brought any in for her. Yes, we do have a small supply, but we tend to save these for those that don’t have any visitors or family to look out for them.

I understand that you want to help and in so many cases you do, especially when you encourage your relatives to eat, which they are more likely to do for you than us. Please be careful though that you do not give other patients some chocolate or sweets, as you may unintentionally cause them some problems, particularly if they are diabetic and are being carefully monitored, or if they have swallowing difficulties and need a special diet, or are even nil by mouth.

We love to see our patients happy and enjoying their time with you. All we ask is that, if there is something troubling you, please come and speak to us, before yelling. We are doing our best you know, and all patients are as important to us, as your relative is to you. sometimes, especially, when we are so very understaffed, we have to prioritize our care,so please have a little patience…

Keep Calm!

From The Nursing Staff

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Episode 250: ‘Mum, You Are SO Embarrassing!’ — March 25, 2015

Episode 250: ‘Mum, You Are SO Embarrassing!’

Miss Hap is off on her school trip to France today which she is very excited about. We were informed about the trip almost as soon as she started at the school in September as no doubt, it takes a fair bit of planning sorting out the logistics of it all.

Well the day has arrived, and 76 excited 11-year-old girls are currently haring around Boulogne, practicing their French-speaking and no doubt driving their teachers mad!

I had my orders as to what sort of packed lunch she wanted to take, and I felt it only fair in return to give Miss Hap my order for some brie, for when she visits a supermarket this afternoon! Now in order to facilitate this, she had to be slipped a couple of illicit euros on top of the 20 maximum that they were allowed to take!

Hopefully, I have not got her into trouble for the sake of buying me some cheese that I am only allowed a slither of per day. Well technically it’s my mum’s fault  anyway for giving her the extra money and asking her to bring home some croissants (poor girl, there’s nothing like exploiting an opportunity).

Seeing as we had to be at the school so early this morning, we all got up at 5.15 to give us plenty of time. My daughter as expected, took ages deciding which outfit would be suitable for impressing the French folk, not to mention be ‘cool’ enough for her friends’ approval. That sorted, she emptied the backpack she takes for school, save for the French book, and filled it up with ‘lunch!’ (Well it is going to be a long day for them)!

Just as we were pulling into the school car park, she told me to turn the radio down as someone might hear it (as far as I am concerned, there is nothing wrong with a bit of Erasure, and she was brought up on it)! I obliged not wanted to show her up, and we swung into the school in my lovely bright car, which was rather out-of-place with the Jeeps, 4x4s and other cars in muted colours.

I got out of the car to let Miss Hap out gave her a kiss and hug then went to sign her in with her teacher. I could see a few girls there already, but my daughter told me to go and strutted off to join her friends before they noticed her embarrassing mum and step-dad, in their embarrassing car, with the embarrassing music.

As we left, she didn’t turn and wave, as they were all engrossed in deep and excited conversation. Fair enough, but I really wished I had one of those really loud air horns that make that DA NA NA NA NA NANA NA NA NA NA NA noise!

Episode 219: Silly Sayings…. — March 13, 2015

Episode 219: Silly Sayings….

It’s funny how we incorporate these little sayings into our lives (many that our own parents have said to us in the past) that don’t make any sense! Here are a few of my favourites……

“If you don’t eat your dinner, you won’t get any pudding!” This was said to us as kids if we had left our meal in order to get to the rather nicer looking dessert. This is a bit silly really as, if we ate all our dinner we might not be able to eat our pudding, let alone enjoy it!

“If the wind changes you will stay like that”! We have all poked our tongue out at someone or made a face behind their back. This threat was supposed to deter us doing this, but I really don’t think anyone ever believes it!

“Do you want a smack?” This really makes me laugh. As if anyone is going to say “Oh yes please, the harder the better” (On second thoughts with all this 50 Shades stuff being popular at the moment…)Anyway, as kids when you are being naughty and your mum threatens you with this, you do tend to behave yourself pretty quick!

In the same vein what about, ” Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about!” For a start if you are in a state about something, it is not always easy (as a child) to just instantly stop crying, but if you don’t you are in for a clout. A bit of a no-win one this is!

” Go and wash behind your ears, you could grow spuds there” Even if it were possible, why would anyone want to grow potatoes on their head!

Those are some of my favourites. Do you have any?

Episode 143: Tantrums and Tears…Parents Behaving Badly! — February 5, 2015

Episode 143: Tantrums and Tears…Parents Behaving Badly!

I wrote a little while back about children’s birthday parties and how I yearn to go back to the good old days of traditional birthday parties which you can read here.

Having heard about the latest ‘fad’ for children’s birthdays,I am even more convinced, that we should go back to the plain and simple days. What was wrong with a few sandwiches, a bit of cake, a few fun games. a nice present and of course the cheese and pineapple hedgehog?

Well, quite a lot actually judging by today’s standards. Two stories have caught my eye, on this very subject.The first one regarding a female singer/musician, who had originally made it big by winning ‘Pop Idol’ or something similar when it first started. and who is now a household name.

Anyway, her young daughter attends a private school, and has been invited to a couple of her classmates’ upcoming birthday parties. The problem was, one other mum in the class decided to send out a group e-mail on behalf of these two children’s mothers. Apparently the mums asked that cash donations be made in order that one parent could buy a Kindle for their child and the other a desk.Money should be put in an envelope and deposited in their children’s school bag, Oh and the ‘suggested amount’ is £10.00.

This celebrity was enraged. especially as they received another e-mail soon after reminding her about it, although of course she was under ‘no pressure’ to participate. She e-mailed back a scathing reply, basically setting out that she would like. and made it clear that the kids will ‘get what they are given.’

My God, it does take the fun out of it for the kids if the ‘present police’ are making sure that the right gifts or donations are made. I thought us parents were deemed responsible enough to be let loose in the shops to buy a child a birthday present, Especially as we normally have one of our own a similar age, and therefore have some idea of what to get. How bloody ridiculous!

The second story was even worse. This occurred around Christmas time. A 5-year-old boy returned home from school with an envelope for his parents. When they opened it up, they were speechless to find an invoice for £15.95 for a ski centre trip their son had missed. This was a fellow classmate’s birthday treat to which their son had been invited to but could not attend,

The parents of the absent child had tried to contact the birthday boy’s parents to inform them that their son could not attend, but could not reach them. They were told if they did not pay the invoice then they could be taken to court. This just defies belief in my opinion!  These sorts of things happen, and cannot be helped. How sad that some parents have taken it so personally.

I thought parties and birthdays were supposed to be fun!

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