Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

It’s good to talk! — April 9, 2018

It’s good to talk!

Like most people, nowadays we have a landline as well as mobile phones and use both equally.  As technology becomes more and more sophisticated, I become more and more befuddled. I do know how to use some of the features of both, but mainly I use them to make phone calls (surprisingly), send texts and take photos. I have once tried to compose a post on my phone but it went horribly wrong, and I ended up raging at the bloody thing (after all it is the phone’s fault and not mine of course)!

Anyway, a rather strange thing happened a while ago, I was on annual leave, and Mr Grump rang me on my mobile to tell me to get ready as he was picking me up after finishing work. He asked why I didn’t pick up the home phone, and I told him because it didn’t ring, that’s why! He said it rang for an instant then gave the engaged signal, was I on to the phone to someone else or did I just cut him off?

I hadn’t done either. Obviously, he didn’t take my word for it, and when he came home, he rang the landline from his mobile, engaged. That was a bit odd. I made sure the line was clear, it was. He tried again, engaged I tried it, ring, ring. Funny, I could get through but he couldn’t

Oh, that was it, we had to detour to the bloody EE mobile phone shop in town to see what was wrong with his stupid phone! I hate these places. Trendy, young sales assistants who are all up with the latest gadgets, give the, “Oh, God don’t let them come to me” look to each other as we approach the front desk.

The unlucky loser was a young woman with the kind of two haircuts in one style that is so popular at the moment. She listened disinterestedly as poor old Grump gave her a rather lengthy explanation of what was wrong.  I could see her eyes glazing over, and that she was itching to snatch the phone off of Mr Grump so she could look at it herself.  After a few swipes of the screen here and there, she handed it back and said in a bored monotone, “there is nothing wrong with it at all, the settings are all fine, and there are no blocks on it.”

Great, that was really helpful. Mr Grump muttered his thanks, and then later on when we were at home asked me to ring Talk Talk our landline provider to find out what the problem was. I went selectively deaf for a while, why the hell did I have to do it!

Anyway, the next day he went on about it again so, when he came home, I moodily rang them. Well, of course, I didn’t get anywhere. The automated system asked me the wrong questions, and from the answers, it insisted on getting, I was told robotically that they would test my line and text me back.  They did an hour later, nothing wrong.

I phoned again, pressed different buttons and gave what must have been the right answers as I actually got a person! Mind you; I think they thought I was a bit simple and said they would also check the line, but I got my own back on Grump and made him talk to the bloke and tell him the problem he was having with his phone! I don’t know what was going on, but he had my phone, his phone and the landline, and still, it didn’t work. He couldn’t ring the landline and I could. More tests would be carried out and Grump was fuming.

I picked up the landline phone to ring my sister, and as is usual I pressed a few wrong buttons trying to find the address book part. I noticed something, though. There was a screen and on it was a folder ‘blocked numbers,’ I selected it, and there was poor old Mr Grump’s phone number! God knows how it had got there, but I managed to erase it from the folder. Mr Grump dialled the home phone, and it rang!

How I love technology!

Episode 419: Photo Fail! — July 18, 2015

Episode 419: Photo Fail!

As some of you may know, I am not exactly the most proficient person when it comes to technology. I tend to get by just sticking to the basics,or perhaps asking for a little help when there is something I really need to do understand how to do.

Anyway, myself and Mr Grump were due an upgrade and after a lot of thought (which one comes in the prettiest colours, and has a good camera, as I want to try to learn to take a decent photo as I am rubbish at that as well) I ended up with a really lovely gold coloured phone that can do quite a lot of stuff.

I decided that I would try to use some of these wonderful features as they will go to waste. Well, I was pleased to see I have a pedometer on this health app, so I gave that a go and was delighted that on days that I work. I of course do more than he recommended 6000 steps by double and I surpass my daily activity minutes as well.

So far, so big-headed! (I would be a lot more pleased though if the bloody weight would come off with all this ‘exercise’. Next up I wanted to play with the command thing, where you ask it to do something and it does. Ooooh this is fun, I asked it to text Mr Grump it did! He laughed his head off when I politely asked it to set my work alarm for 5:15am please! Well, most of you will know my take on having good manners!

Having said that I wanted to wring its bloody neck this morning, on my day off, the stupid alarm went off singing away at 5:15. So here I am at 7am on this beautiful Saturday morning,having already been up for a couple of hours (once I am awake that is it, I have to get up).

I didn’t have a lot of success with the camera either. I mentioned that I went to the awards ceremony at Miss Hap’s School on Monday. Well me being me, as I went on my own, I got there too early as I stressed myself about parking. The advantage though was that I got to sit in the 3rd row from the from just behind the teachers. Miss Hap was the very first child up to get her award, and I was there, camera poised.

As her name was called she walked on stage and stood there for a bit, once the subjects that she had got the award in were read out she walked across the stage, shook hands with the chap who was there from the charity the school was supporting this year, and then walked off again. I spent so long trying to zoom in and focus I missed the bloody handshake moment but did at least manage to get a photo of her! Yes, I only managed to get 2 in total due to my faffing about!

There needs to be some sort of course set up for the technodunce!

Episode 275: Window Shopping! — April 7, 2015

Episode 275: Window Shopping!

It is a lovely day here today with the sun shining, and my cold is a lot better (It has decided it has had enough of me and had gone to settle on Mr Grump instead)! Myself and Miss Hap decided it would be nice to have a quick trip into town and treat ourselves to a very unhealthy breakfast (bang goes the lbs I have lost so far)! I have to say a sausage and egg Mcmuffin really hits the spot when you have been ‘healthy eating’ for a few weeks!

Anyway, we  looked around for a bit and got some odds and ends, then I noticed a lady that did ‘threading.’ Seeing as my eyebrows were a bit straggly I told Miss Hap that I would quickly get them done, Of course. I had forgotten how much it bloody hurts, and needless to say my eyes streamed with water. Before I had properly come back to my senses, she asked about doing my top lip as well.

Oh. I hadn’t realised that it was a moustache in progress. so I told her to go ahead. Having never had this threaded before, I was rather taken aback by the pain! Miss Hap must have noticed my grimacing (I had my eyes screwed tightly shut as well) as she grabbed my hand and squeezed it for comfort, bless her.

That ordeal over with I tried to leave with my dignity intact. but it was not easy with a snotty, runny nose and streaming eyes (I could have put it down to the cold I suppose)! Miss Hap wanted to go to the phone shop to get a replacement sim card as she had damaged it. so we headed there next.

I am never keen on going to these places as they are of course very knowledgeable about phone technology etc and I am a dunce. I asked for the sim , and then the assistant started going on about me being overdue for an upgrade and did I want this or that?! No I bloody didn’t. My daughter gets rather fixated on things and although she already has an iPhone it is not the latest one. She is not getting it either so I did not want him discussing upgrades or I would never hear the last of it.

I looked at him with my blotchy, red, snotty face and told him sternly that I was not prepared to discuss upgrades now, and he decided it might be a good idea to shut up and give me the sim card!

Once we had finished shopping, Miss Hap and I got in the car to come home. Now on the way into town Miss Hap was playing ‘Rapper’s Delight’ (I have very little new stuff in my car). She loves it and knows most of the words, and recently Mr Grump had fitted this huge speaker thing covered in carpet(?) into the back of my car so my stereo sounds quite loud!

She had cranked up the volume and we were both making a nice racket along with the Sugarhill Gang on our journey. However, on the way out of the multi-storey car park I had to Wind my window down to put the ticket in the slot to get out, and it wouldn’t go back up! All the way home I tried to no avail. Miss Hap was not so keen now on the stereo loudly blasting out Leo Sayer’s ‘When I need you’ and I refused to turn it down!

We were lucky it was such a lovely, sunny day and didn’t get soaking wet!

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