Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Pub Grub for Carnivores. — May 15, 2016

Pub Grub for Carnivores.

The Sunday dinner

for those with huge appetites,

go for Big Piggy

 

For only ten pounds

No vegetarians here

-A carnivore’s delight!

 

After all that food

something to wash it all down

Blueberry and lime?

 

Episode 466. Wedding Day Reflections — August 20, 2015

Episode 466. Wedding Day Reflections

Today is my 6th wedding anniversary to Mr Grump. Although we have only been married a short while, we go way back and actually met for the first time in 1984. This is our story here

We were originally going to wait for a while before getting married, but after a few months, neither of us wanted to wait, bearing in mind how long it took us to get back together again.

As both of us has been married before, we decided that we would go for just a quiet ceremony with mostly family and a few friends. The local Registry Office was closed and in the process of being relocated, so in the interim they were using the Sports and Leisure Centre.

This was ok but had a hell of a walk leading up to it, almost like a helter-skelter, and that put me off, as both Mum and Dad would have a job with it, not to mention me with my high heels!

There was an alternative which was much cheaper, and in the centre of town, which I thought was ideal,  so we booked it up and set about organising everything else. The evening was taken care of as we were going to a small pub which had karaoke (Miss Hap loves it). The landlord was laying on a BBQ, and my brother-in-law (Mr Musician) was going to sing for us later on.

The cake was being made by one of my sisters (Mrs Masterchef), and we had got everything else off of the internet (yes, even the dress). My sister-in-law just happens to be a hairdresser so that was sorted as well.

Just before the big day, the dress arrived (luckily). It was a little more elaborate than I had envisaged and had a huge skirt, plus small train at the back. This would have been fine had we opted for the Leisure Centre to marry in, but our ‘venue’ was not quite what I had expected.

When we went to see it, there were beautiful gardens out the back, but the ‘wedding room’ was tiny, and only accommodated about 6 or 8 guests! Bearing in mind, Best Man, witnesses, Miss Hap and us, that was going to be it! Everything else was in place invitations sent out, the lot.

After crying and getting myself in a state, we decided who was going to come with us. Everyone else waited at our house (we were only going to be about an hour all told). My sister-in-law gave me and Miss Hap a lift to the venue, and we met up with the others there!

Our best friend Karen, who was in the army with us was a witness, as was my older sister, and my Dad too.

Dad signing the register_wm
View from outside the window of Dad signing the register
KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA
My step-mum and a very dear friend peeping through the window at proceedings!

Despite everything, it was a very emotional service and we both cried! It was out in the garden for photos, and back to ours (which had suddenly been decorated with banners and balloons),  for a buffet until we headed off to the pub a few hours later!

It might not have been the fanciest of weddings, but it was a brilliant day that we all enjoyed. Sitting on patio chairs in our small back garden, with a load of family dressed in all our finery was so relaxed; we all had a great laugh. Especially when we found out that our lovely Best Man, forgot his cufflinks and improvised with some paper clips!

Then later when some friends came to the pub. The kids on the karaoke, the bangers and burgers on the barbie, and then Mr Musician serenading us with ‘Hotel California’ was brilliant; tucking into a delicious chocolate wedding cake made by Mrs Masterchef completed a fantastic day.

Episode 348: What a Clucking Fuss! — May 27, 2015

Episode 348: What a Clucking Fuss!

Here in England we have some really lovely old buildings, some of them like this old pub, go back to the 8th century, and they often have weird and wonderful names too, which tend to have a history behind them.

Ye Old Fighting Cocks in St Albans, Hertfordshire, is officially Britain’s oldest pub as verified by the Guinness Book of Records, but its name has ruffled a few feathers with animal rights group PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals).

They suggest that the name should be changed from ‘Ye Old Fighting Cocks’ (its name since 1872) to ‘Ye Old Clever Cocks’ as chickens are sensitive and social animals and should be portrayed as such. After all, they argue, cock fighting was banned in the UK in the 1800s, and modern people are appalled by the thought of them fighting to the death.

The locals however, are outraged at the idea of changing their pub’s name, which they think is quite mad. No chickens were available for comment, as they were cooling their heels in the local Police Cells due to being kicked out of ‘Ye Old Fighting Cocks’ for drunk and disorderly behaviour!

I do love animals but honestly, this is taking things a little bit too far! I am sure the chickens couldn’t care less what the pub is called!

Episode 332: Make Mine A Pint Please! — May 17, 2015

Episode 332: Make Mine A Pint Please!

Yesterday evening was unexpectedly pleasant, and after having a bit of a rough couple of weeks, in one way or the other, Mr Grump suggested we take the 5 minute walk down to the local pub, and take Roxy with us. She always loves an extra walk loves it when we sit outside at the pub as people quite often make a fuss of her.

We met up with Miss Hap who was with her friend at the park; she stayed long enough to cadge some money for some sweets, before deciding that the park was much more fun than sitting with us old gits and going back off to play.

As the back garden of the pub was packed, we sat at one of the two tables out the front which was like a little sun trap. There are a number of shops there as well as the vet’s surgery where Roxy goes to get her jabs when needed. (She is the only dog I know that loves the vets and tires to drag us in there every time we walk past).

Sure enough, when Mr Grump went in to get our drinks a little girl came over and made a huge fuss of Roxy which she loved. Mr Grump came out with the drinks and a couple of packets of my favourite steak crisps which Roxy is rather partial to as well.

As you can see by the photo, Roxy loves a drop of beer and Mr Grump let her have some of the froth from his, although I am sure she would have drunk the lot if he had let her! Luckily they both managed to walk home ok!

One-Liner Wednesday. — March 11, 2015
Episode 203: Lazing on a Sunny Afternoon….. — March 7, 2015

Episode 203: Lazing on a Sunny Afternoon…..

What a glorious day today was! It was so sunny,  and reasonably warm as well. I had already decided that I wanted to change my logo picture on my blog, so me, Mr Grump and Miss Hap set off to a lovely little village nearby to get some photos.

The pictures we took were of a traditional phone box (I like the one I had in the pic before but it was a stock photo and I wanted my own) which is situated right next to an old well. To me the phone box is quintessentially British, plus it is all about communication, both of which depicts me!

Anyway, we got a lovely load of photos and only a few strange looks (it was obvious we were not tourists, plus we were taking pictures of a phone box with mobile phones, which probably struck people as odd!

Next stop boring shopping which actually killed some of my good mood, I hate grocery shopping on Saturdays at the best of times. What makes me really cross is when I am looking for something on the shelves and someone plonks a great big foot right into my personal space, then follows it up with the rest of their body so we are almost nose to nose! Bugger off out of it, why don’t you!

On the way home I spoke to Mr Grump about maybe calling in on a nice pub to sit outside and enjoy the weather perhaps with a spot of lunch to go with it. we decided to drop the shopping in first, and as we turned into our road, we  saw some odd woman waving madly at us to go first even though it was her right of way. Once we got home we realised this car was right behind us, and the mad woman was in fact my sister-in-law in her lovely new car!

It was so nice to see her and have a gossip and a catch up. She decided not to come with us as she had errands to do, We finished our cuppa then headed off to the pub in a little village a couple of miles away where my niece and her fiance were .

It was glorious there, we sat in the garden right next to the river which was populated with trout and other assorted fish.The sun was warm and bright, and there were quite a few families also enjoying the unexpected sunshine.  It was by now quite a bit past lunchtime and myself and Miss Hap were starving so Mr Grump ordered some food for us.

After a while, I was greeted by the most enormous ham sandwich I had ever seen! Each slab of bread much have been an inch thick, containing a good quarter of a pound of hand-carved ham! A generous portion of dressed salad and (what seemed like)  a whole packet of crisps completed the meal! Wow! Finally a place that does my kind of portions!

A couple of very pleasant hours ensued until my poor frozen body could take it no longer  and it was time to go, (After all, it is still only March)!  Yes spring is just around the corner!

Episode 187: Shedding Some Light on the Subject! — February 28, 2015

Episode 187: Shedding Some Light on the Subject!

I know this is a bit controversial but hate those bloody energy lightbulbs! Yes, I know,shocking isn’t it?! (Well they might be if they produced any sort of power).  I am aware about carbon footprints and all that sort of thing, but I do still like the good old-fashioned 60 watt bulb.

I have lived in my house for 11 years now; It was a brand new property which had special fittings in the upstairs landing and hall downstairs for the energy lightbulb. That was all very lovely except for a couple of years later when I had to get a replacement, none of the shops sold them!II had to send off for them and they were pretty expensive at £10 apiece! Compare that to the £1 or so cost for a normal light bulb and you can see one reason I hatred them.

Having a brother who is good with electrics helped as he took out those fittings and put the general ones in, so I could use either standard light bulbs or energy bulbs as the mood took me.

Surprisingly, I do quite often use the energy ones in the hall as have got a little better over the years. It no longer takes about 5 seconds for the light to realise that it has been switched on, and kick into action, It is almost instantaneous nowadays.

A couple of nights ago Miss Hap informed us that we had a power cut, well, kind of anyway. She had turned the light on in the bathroom upstairs (it has a normal light bulb) and it blew causing the lights to all go off. Mr Grump had to climb up to the fuse box and flick the switch back on to restore light.

Anyway Mr Grump fitted a new bulb and all was sweetness (and light) in our household. Well, until I went to have my bath the next morning, I turned on the light to be greeted by this eerie kind of greenish glow. It was pretty horrid and I literally had a quick dip before getting out of there.

Miss Hap also moaned about the light when she went to the bathroom, It was a really ugly low energy lightbulb, with the emphasis on ‘low energy’. We nagged at Mr Grump to change it as it was giving us a headache.

When I came home from work later on, I saw that indeed the bulb was changed, Great, he managed to do one of the chores I had left him before I went to work. During the evening I needed to nip to the loo so I went to the downstairs one,

The eerie greenish glow appeared casting its gloom in the room. It seemed to make everything appear grubby. I was not impressed with this at all. It’s bad enough that it had the audacity to be called a ‘light’ bulb, but to have this almost CSI quality of showing up every speck making everything appear grimy was annoying.

Mr Grump managed to persuade my niece’s fiance to take him shopping today as the weather was appalling and we needed some bits. I decided to leave them to it and didn’t go with them. Big mistake, Not only did they forget to buy some normal light bulbs but they decided to stop off at the pub on the way home for a ‘quick pint’!

It seems that he was running a bit low on energy and needed a bit of perking up himself!

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