Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

A Little Self-Belief Goes A Long Way — November 22, 2017

A Little Self-Belief Goes A Long Way

I wrote this poem some time ago based on this quote. It seems particularly relevant to me at the moment as I gear up for exams and assignments.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

― Eleanor Roosevelt

 

I know that I have a bit of a complex

It is probably because I am shy

I worry that people think I am standoffish

Because I stand silently by

At many a social occasion

When everyone’s chatting away

I am desperately trying

To think of something to say

I don’t live in a fancy residence

I don’t drive the trendiest car

I am not a brilliant genius

I feel that I am below par

But wait, who says I’m not worth it?

It is me that causes myself grief

I need to forget about others

And work on my own self-belief!

Just Jot in January 15th – Leadership — January 15, 2016

Just Jot in January 15th – Leadership

jjj-2016

For today’s prompt for Just Jot it January  by Linda, we have been given ‘leadership.’ Now, I have never really thought of myself as being a leader or having the necessary qualities to become one. Having always been quiet and shy, telling others what to do, or being responsible for their actions is something that would not appeal to me at all when I was younger. I would much rather blend in, and do my job, asking for help when needed or perhaps show someone else how to do something, but almost be apologetic about if for knowing more than they did.

However, there are times in life when it is essential to take charge of a situation, be it work, social or domestic  if things are to run smoothly. Surprisingly, I kind of fell into a leadership role without thinking too much about it. My ex-husband bought a cafe which he later converted into a kebab shop. I had to help run them both which meant that I was in charge of several staff, some of whom were his or my family members, or both! As you can imagine, it did get a bit fraught at times, but I managed to maintain relationships as well as help keep the business running smoothly.

Of course, as soon as we have children then, like it or not, we become role models and definitely need to hone our leadership skills, as children pick up on the slightest hesitancy or inconsistency as I have found to my cost! If we want them to grow up into decent, caring, honest and hard-working adults, then we have to lead by example. When they don’t behave as we want them to, then we also have to find a way to change this, which is where things can get tricky!

I remember when I worked in an office of a holiday brochure distribution company, having quite a strict boss. He was a director of the company in his 40s and could get quite shirty at times, as well as being pretty rude. (His people skills were not the best). However, the thing that I respected about him, was that apparently he had started off at this company as a young lad of 16 emptying the rubbish, then worked his way up to the top. This meant he knew all aspects of the business inside out, and when they were short staffed in the warehouse, he rolled his sleeves up and went down there to help them out.

I have realised over the years, that being a good leader is not about strutting around, shouting orders to others expecting them to bow down to your every command (well it is pretty handy in the military), it is much more complex than that. There are many qualities to being a good leader, like treating others with respect, and mucking in together when needed, as well as listening to and learning from others. I know that when needed, I can step up and be a leader!

 

 

Dear Self-Confidence….An Open Letter to My New Friend — September 17, 2015

Dear Self-Confidence….An Open Letter to My New Friend

Dear Self-Confidence,

I am so proud that we have finally forged a friendship after a life-time of avoiding each other. Of course, I knew of your existence when I was a little girl. but you were always in the distance, hanging around with Outgoing, Popular and Fearless, whilst I played in the shadows with Shy, Timid and Awkward. Actually these three were to remain loyal companions for many, many years.

During my school years, you were still just a little out of reach, and I coasted along with my usual crowd, and  joined up with Average, and Unremarkable. I always wanted to get to know you, but you became more elusive when I got caught smoking, and ended up in the Deputy Head’s office.  She rather firmly introduced me to Failure, Shame and Embarrassment. That was it for the rest of my school days, I knew my place, amongst these friends and Failure in particular, was by my side during my battle with academia.

I nearly met you whilst I was in the Army, but Reckless and Drunken came into my life, which I mistook you for. Luckily, they didn’t stay for too long, and no real damage was done, despite a lot of fun being had!

For the next 10 years during my first marriage, you deserted me completely. What little I knew of you was literally beaten down by Violence, Fear and Worthlessness.I did meet a mate of yours, Courage, who helped me to leave this situation, and stayed with me for a while to help me out during my divorce.

I met up again with Failure, Drunken and Reckless for a couple of years, carousing, having fun and a bit of release, before realising that they were just going to bring me down, so I ditched them.

I did meet Achievement briefly, when I finally passed my driving test after the 6th attempt! Nerves and Failure kept getting to me, and it was only when I brushed them off for good that I was able to find Success.

Romance came into my life for a while when I met husband number 2, but unfortunately, so did Cold and Empty. Thank God when my daughter was born, Unconditional Love came to stay and has never left!

After a couple of years an old flame was rekindled, and now I have Joy and Contentment as my friends. This is also where I finally became casually acquainted with Self-Confidence.

You were a guest at my wedding, and we mingled with Happiness, Companionship, Warmth, and Belonging alongside my family and friends. It was a wonderful day….but the best was still to come.

After decided to undertake some more studying as part of my career, you suddenly started turning up more. You were there for presentations I had to do in front of the rest of the class, you came with me to work as I gained more knowledge, and of course you were there silently urging me on as I walked up on that stage in front of a couple of hundred people as I graduated

We have become closer than ever now, you and I, and I would just like to thank you for deciding that I am worthy of your friendship after all!

With love and gratitude.

You Best Friend.

Episode 336: #BeWoW Post. How I Connect. — May 20, 2015

Episode 336: #BeWoW Post. How I Connect.

This Post is inspired by Ronovan’s Writes Be Wonderful on Wednesday.

As I was thinking about what to write here, I came to the conclusion that actually, I am not really great at connecting, at least not in most situations.

The fact that I have a blog and belong to an online community means that I do connect with others on a daily basis, sending comments back and forth, and getting into interesting conversations, and finding the funny side of things. This seems to be where I am most comfortable!

I am very shy and can sometimes come across as aloof in person, despite that being far from the truth. It just seems that I am so much better at expressing myself with the written word rather than the spoken one! This does not bode well in social situations though. Funnily enough, although I hate job interviews, I have always been quite lucky in that I have overcome the fear and secured the job, on many occasions. That was probably due to the fact that I knew I had to do it, or I would be jobless and penniless!

As far as my family and close friends are concerned, I am much better at making connections. It has always taken me a little while to get to know people to the point where I can just be myself with them. Last year for example, we had a family friend come over to visit us from Sweden where he now lives. He has known me since I was 9 years old, and we were in my mum’s back garden with other members of my family. He couldn’t get over how much I was joining in, laughing and making jokes. That is the real me, but not that many people get to see it because of my inability to connect well with others I do not know.

One of the other ways I connect with people is again through the written word but this time, a poem which is nearly always a funny little ditty. Whenever there is a family wedding, special celebration or even sad event I have always written a poem for that person. It is just my way of letting them know that I care for them, even though I am not good at saying it face to face.

We are not a ‘lovey-dovey’ type of family, Well, at least we were not brought up like that, My parents did not ever tell any of us that they loved us, as that is just the way it was then. However. all of us constantly tell our kids that we love them as it is important to have that security and knowledge to know you are loved. Love is certainly the strongest of connections, and I do have that bond with my daughter.

Mainly,in one way or another, whether written or spoken, I connect with people through humour. I think it is so much easier to make a connection with people if you are all laughing together!

Episode 247: Feeling Fantastic at Fifty! — March 24, 2015

Episode 247: Feeling Fantastic at Fifty!

After reading a post today on Inventing Real Life about whether or not a woman is ‘invisible’ once they get to the age of fifty, it got me to thinking….

I am less than a year away from the big five-o myself (sob), and I am already having mixed feelings about it. Originally I thought how lovely it would be to have a big party to celebrate the occasion. It would be a great excuse for a get-together and some cheesy music to get everyone up and dancing,

Despite my two left feet, a bit of 80s music will have me heading for the dance floor and strutting my stuff, especially if there is mostly only family there to witness my humiliating ‘moves’! This is where it comes in handy having such a large clan, it is not that difficult to fill up a function room!

Another possibility is doing a one-off event, such as a skydive, or perhaps a bungee jump, or even a hot air balloon ride This is all well and good providing you are not the biggest coward around , who can barely stand on a chair without getting dizzy at the height off the floor! No, I am a huge fail in the thrill-seeker department (well at least this kind of thrill seeking)!

Once I have decided how to actually mark the occasion, I wonder what happens then? Will I fade into obscurity? Be too old and past it for anyone to bother with any more? Left on the scrap heap, destined to be humoured as that ‘mad old aunty’ that everyone gives a wide berth to at functions! The nutter with the whiskery chin (no point in bothering with keeping myself nice anymore) and the garish clothes?

Not bloody likely! I spent a lot of time in my youth where I was so quiet and shy that I faded into the background (mostly by my own choice I admit). I was the wilting wallflower at parties, head drooped trying not to draw attention to myself. The awkward, jerky, tongue-tied girl, then young woman, blushing if anyone talked to me, or looked my way. The constant loner standing out like a sore thumb at clubs, as everyone else had gone off to dance,and being self-conscious, I would hang around trying to look invisible as I didn’t want anyone to think I was waiting to be ‘picked up!’

Anyway, I have decided that I am going to try to turn over a new leaf once I get to my fifties. I am tired of being a non-entity, the forgotten face in the crowd, the recipient of the “oh, we’ve never met” comment, despite being introduced a few weeks previously. I am going to break out of that shell that has encased me for the last fifty years and Sod what anyone thinks!

Rather than disappear, I am going to stand out in my fifties. the new confident me. So what if I still trip over everything, put my foot in it, and show myself up! That is always going to be part of who I am, so rather than cringe and try hiding away, I will endeavour to shrug my shoulders, dust myself down and laugh it all off! I am going to be fabulous at fifty!

Episode 197: Someone Like Me… — March 5, 2015

Episode 197: Someone Like Me…

Todays’ Blogging 101 assignment is to publish a post you’d like your ideal audience member to read, and include a new-to-you element in it.

Hmmm, this is a bit tricky as I don’t have a specific audience member in mind. I am just bloody grateful I have an audience at all really! So for the purpose of today’s task, I am going to base my ideal  audience member on someone like me. An ordinary person who blunders their way through life leaving a trial of havoc in their wake! Yes, someone who can bang into, trip over or knock down anything and everything! A klutz of the highest order.

This person actually loves interacting with other people, and actually once they get to know you, will appear to be quite outgoing and confident. On first meeting them though they will appear shy and awkward. They will smile nervously but not contribute much to the conversation unless asked directly to do so. Then they will stumble over their words and blush a lot!

This person loves to see the funny side of things. They have a wicked sense of humour, and a very dirty laugh. They can make something out of nothing and the double entendre is their best friend. Bursting into inappropriate laughter at times such as when they were asked to go and find a ‘scrotal sling’ for an unfortunate patient is second nature to them. When something tickles them, they are no longer shy, and usually succumb to the odd snort of laughter, hurriedly disguised as a cough!

This  person would love the sillier things in life. The more ridiculous the better, and they will suddenly chuckle to themselves when it comes to their mind. They also love to tell others about it so they can share the laughter.

Well there you have it. This was by no means intended to be an egotistical post. I just thought that the type of person who would enjoy my blog would have some similarities to me!

I have included a clip of one of my favourite characters, Sir Lancelot Spratt, played by the superb James Robertson Justice. I know it is dated a bit now, but I just love his accent, the way he shouts at everyone terrifying them. Plus it is set in a hospital, which is right up my street anyway!

Enjoy!

Episode 120: More To Me Than Meets The Eye — January 24, 2015

Episode 120: More To Me Than Meets The Eye

I have come to the conclusion that I am quite a contradictory person. My actions are quite often out of sync with my personality. I will think one thing and then do another….

For instance, for someone who is still quite shy, and awkward when meeting people, you would think that the last thing I would want to do is blogging! I mean, by its very nature, it is putting my thoughts and opinions out there for all and sundry to read, and comment on. By the same token, I also comment on other people’s blogs.

This means that I have to interact with people who I do not know, in fact have never even met! I could well be opening myself up to a great deal of criticism if someone objects to, or misunderstands one of my posts,

I have even put videos on my blog of myself reading my poems as I wanted to ensure they were conveyed in the way that I intended them to be. What kind of dunce does that when they are very conscious of how they look? Not only that, I haven’t even used my name but have plastered my image all over the place….

Another irony is that I suffer from depression, but like to try to write humorous posts! What is that all about?! I know that laughing is good for the soul, so I like to try to see the funny side of things. One of my great pleasures in life is to make others happy. If I can do that by making them laugh then so much the better, However, it can be one hell of a struggle coming up with funny posts when that is the last thing that I am feeling (especially recently)!

I am a huge fan of music, and yet I can neither sing nor dance! Many is the time that I have gone to my sister’s house for a [arty and they have ended up getting out the karaoke machine.Now her and her husband used to do this as a business, and they both can sing very well (my brother-in-law is also a musician).

It doesn’t stop me from snatching the mike and screeching my head off to one of my favourite numbers, and this is sober as I don’t drink!  I can see my brother-in-law frantically twiddling knobs trying to drown me out or make me sound better, or something!

Dancing is a bit more of a problem! Despite my two left feet, I will strut around my front room when the mood takes me, but I still hate dancing if I am out anywhere. What I hate even more is if someone attempts to dance with me. A family friend once grabbed hold of me and started trying to twirl me around, but I immediately went stiff, and then trod all over him! He complained to my mum about my lack of rhythm!

My personal space is a standing joke with one of my good friends that I used to work with. I have about a 2 feet no go zone, I really am not keen on people getting too close at all. Anyway, we used to have this colleague that could not have a conversation unless she was almost on top of you. This really used to freak me out, and I would try to avoid talking to her if at all possible!

It didn’t stop her talking to me though and, as she kept closing in on me ,I would be backing away further and further until I was literally backed against the wall, and no option but to talk to the face that was about an inch from my own!

Why then choose a job now where I physically have to touch people?! It doesn’t make sense, but I love my job, and I will very often give my patients a hug, I am forever holding their hands when I talk to them, or stroking their faces when they are very poorly, but for some reason this does not bother me at all!

I suppose that I am someone who has ‘hidden depths’ and not just bloody odd!

Episode 68: Standing out! — December 7, 2014

Episode 68: Standing out!

I have always battled with shyness, right from when I was a very little girl, hiding behind my Mum or brothers and sisters.It is one personality trait that I wish I didn’t have and have spent years trying to overcome….

Coming from, and growing up with a large family, you would think that I would be a lot more outgoing and assertive, having had to fight for my share of attention over the years, but no, I was the little mousey one, who in fact, never wanted to draw attention to myself in any way! Unfortunately for me though, I am extremely clumsy, and always have been, so there have been many times in the past when I have unwittingly been the centre of attention.

Once, when I was about 12, some of my siblings and I were visiting my Dad,we went for a walk along the prom. I was linking arms with my older sister, but somehow managed to become separated from her and I tripped and fell 6ft onto the sand below (luckily the tide wasn’t in). My Dad was frantic and came down to get me. Luckily I was unhurt, but of course it caused a bit of a commotion.

Another time  I was swimming in a pool with my little sister who was wearing her inflatable armbands (she was about 5 and I was 7). My Mum and Step-dad were watching from the side as I was bobbing about holding a football to float on, and my sister splashed about nearby. I floated out of my depth and the ball slipped through my grasp, leaving me floundering and going under as I couldn’t swim. My little sister tried to get to me, but the next thing I knew I was being hauled out of the pool and pummeled by an old lady, who had seen what had happened and jumped in fully clothed, sunglasses and all  to hike me out. Again, this caused a bit of a fuss and I cried, not only because of the fright I had just had, but because everyone was looking at me!

It didn’t really get any easier as I got older, especially as my Mum moved around quite a bit with her job and we had to change schools each time and make new friends. I always dreaded it; the worst time was when we moved from north to south England so even our accents made us stand out! My younger sister and older brother who were still school age were much more outgoing so didn’t seem to find it such a pain as I did!

When I was 14, I got a part-time job in a cafe, working weekends. I couldn’t have picked a more unsuitable job for my personality if I tried! I had to approach customers, get their orders and deliver food to them without knocking it all over them. I remember once plonking a plate of fish and chips down a bit heavy handedly in front of a customer and half of it slid off of the plate and onto their lap. I scrabbled about picking it up, putting it back on the plate and apologising. What made it worse was when I took the plate out to the kitchen,  and told the female boss (who terrified me) she just rearranged it back on the plate and told me to take it back out there.! That was dreadful as it had taken ages for them to get their order in the first place and they would know that we had just brought the same food out, Needless to say I did it, and the customer said nothing.

I joined the Army as I thought I would overcome my shyness, plus it was something I really wanted to do. I got humiliated many times during ‘drill’ for cocking it up, but then so did everyone else, so it wasn’t that bad. I hated going into the cookhouse as it was so busy but I loved my food so I did it, rather than go without! The experience helped a bit but I was still quite shy.

Social situations were always a nightmare for me. I would talk to people one-on-one but I could never just go up to someone and start a conversation, so people probably thought I was stuck-up and aloof, but I would have loved to have talked to them if I wasn’t so worried that I would put my foot in it or say something stupid!

I do love people and once I went into nursing I really enjoyed it, I applied for the job I have now and when I was accepted, it meant starting at University plus moving to a different ward in the hospital where I knew no-one. I am determined, even if shy, so I did it. Uni was a real struggle at first as nearly every week we had to get out in front of everyone and either do a presentation, or a discussion about things. It took me nearly the whole 2 years to be able to do it without tripping over my words and going bright red.

That is when I finally turned the corner I think. I love the staff on my ward, and am confident about my job, so will actually talk to doctors now(before I kept out of their way). I have been asked  to give a little talk to the new recruits on their first day that have signed up for the job I do This can be 20 odd people in a room that I don’t know but not only have I done it once, but twice!

Even now I have to psych myself up to go somewhere new or attend a large social gathering and I am still clumsy ,and draw attention to myself. However  now I just make a joke of it, laugh it off, and it will probably end up in my blog to cringe over!

It would be great to know how others deal with their fears or personality traits that hold them back.

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