Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 390: One-Liner Wednesday. — June 24, 2015

Episode 390: One-Liner Wednesday.

I saw this quote and it made me laugh, so I had to share it today for One-Liner Wednesday!

‘When you get angry take a breath and count to 10. Throw a punch at 8. Nobody expects that! ‘

This bit of silliness was inspired by LindaGHill

Episode 379: One-Liner Wednesday. — June 17, 2015

Episode 379: One-Liner Wednesday.

‘The secret to being happy is having a good sense of humour and a dirty mind.’

In that case I should be ecstatic!

This post is inspired by LindaGHill 

Episode 377: Wacky Word Wednesday #6 —

Episode 377: Wacky Word Wednesday #6

I love it when Wednesdays come around and I can have some fun with a wacky, weird or wonderful word. Today I have chosen a word that I love the sound of, as it has rather an onomatopoeic quality to it. Sadly though, it is not used nearly enough so let’s dig it up and give it a whirl!

Piffle. This is a word for people that talk a load of bull! Those that prattle about poppycock, jabber utter gibberish, babble lots of balderdash, and drone endlessly about drivel!

It is hogwash and hot air. futile and foolish, just the kind of random rubbish, a slimy salesman might use to try and flog you a pig in a poke!

Actually, this word could be legitimately used to describe this pathetic post!

Episode : 374: Reasons I am So Untrendy……. — June 14, 2015

Episode : 374: Reasons I am So Untrendy…….

I like to know what is going on in the world, and to keep  up-to-date with the latest trends. Having a young daughter also keeps me in the loop of what is happening (mainly because she keeps telling me that I haven’t got a clue)! Here’s why…

  • I hate ‘Game of Thrones!’ I just don’t get it at all; from what I have seen of it so far (and I usually put my headphones on and blog when Mr Grump has it on) everyone is a Prince or Queen or something. Not only that, there seems to be a hell of a lot of gory endings, people getting bumped off every five minutes! Add to that a load of sex, and some of that incestous! It is, in a nutshell, a bunch of royals, having it off with everyone, then plotting their most savage and brutal demise!
  • There is no way on earth I can do this new ‘belly button challenge!’ It involves wrapping one of your arms around your back and touching your belly button to prove what a fit body you have! Hmmmm, I don’t need to become a contortionist to know that I might not be quite as fit as I should be! If I tried to do that, I would no doubt pull or tear something, rendering myself even more unfit!
  • As much as I like to watch a Disney film, there is no way I would want to get married in a Disney princess inspired wedding dress! I mean the Little Mermaid was lovely, but who would want to totter down the aisle wearing a bloody great fishtail?!
  • I could not be trusted with a ‘selfie stick! Now I know these are very popular at the moment and help get a much better photo, but I am not keen. Not only would I feel ridiculous waving it around in the air trying to get the right spot, but knowing me I would end up poking someone in the eye, or giving someone an unexpected clout whilst trying to concentrate on capturing the perfect shot!
  • I don’t want to ‘Keep up with the Kardashians!’ For a start there are far too many of them and I don’t know who they all are! Kim and Kanye being forever in the news is starting to get boring! Now that she is having another baby (will it be called South)? we will be bombarded with every last detail. Kylie and her pouty lips has already annoyed me, as Miss Hap tried to copy her as you can see here.

What makes matters worse is that Mr Grump is much more trendy than I am!

Episode 373: It Runs In The Family! — June 13, 2015

Episode 373: It Runs In The Family!

One of the things I like about my family is that we all have the same warped sense of humour, even if others don’t quite see the joke!

I remember going to our local cinema (or the ‘fleapit’ as it was unaffectionately known) with my older sister to watch ‘Fright Night’ years ago. It was pretty busy and we settled ourselves in for a good scaring, the only problem was that it was not in the least bit frightening (that is saying something coming from me as I am a huge wimp)! In fact, it was funny. We kept giggling at first, then finding it more and more ridiculous ended up rocking in our seats roaring with laughter, especially as no-one else seemed to be laughing.

Often when we get together, we reminisce about the good old days. Unlike other families though, we like to rake up stories about each other’s misfortunes. Things like my mum falling up the stairs in a furniture store whilst carrying some shopping. The shop assistant was appalled that my sister was creased up laughing instead of helping my poor spread-eagled mum up!

My mum is just as bad though as she was helpless with laughter when my little sister ran straight into a glass door whilst chasing after my niece who had toddled off ahead. Mum took great delight in telling us that my sister’s eyes were rolling around in her head, and that her shoe had come off!

When we were young, my mum and step-dad owned a static caravan near Blackpool and we used to go there a lot for weekends and holidays, as we only lived about an hour away then. As was the design then, the living room area used to have a kind of bench style sofa arrangement which could be transformed into a bed if you inserted a large wooden board. Well one of my brothers went to sit down to eat his meal, but misjudged it as the cushion wasn’t put back properly so it was over-hanging the seat. This meant as soon as my brother lowered himself down there was nothing there to support him, and he did a lovely backwards roll out of the open door behind him landing with a nice thud on the grass. What fantastic entertainment for the family that was. Even more so because he got told off  for mucking about as if it were his fault!

Oh yes, you don’t get any sympathy in our family if you hurt yourself; in fact it’s laugh first then check for broken bones. As you can imagine, I have had more than my fair share of teasing from the family!

Episode 362: My Take on A Book Review! — June 7, 2015

Episode 362: My Take on A Book Review!

You know when you have read something really good and you just want to share it with everyone?  Well I have written a little review in a poem for ‘Laughter Lines, Life From The Tail End’ by Sue Vincent, which I downloaded from Amazon here.

I thought I would try something different

Not something I usually do

But I have just read a fabulous book

And I wanted to write a review!

If you enjoy a great poem

And love to have a good laugh

Then you will love Ani’s antics

To get out of having a bath!

If legends are more to your fancy

St George and the dragon – the truth

To slay it takes one feisty princess

Not some weak, callow youth!

Do you have a sense of adventure?

To do what very few dare

Stand out from the crowd and be noticed

With vibrant red pillar box hair!

These stories are just a selection

In the book there are tales of all kinds

So I urge you to read it

Sue’s brilliant book, Laughter Lines!

Episode 359: One-Liner Wednesday: Ignorance. — June 3, 2015

Episode 359: One-Liner Wednesday: Ignorance.

‘If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t there more happy people in the world?’

Stephen Fry

I love Stephen Fry and his sharp wit, so have chosen this quote of his for my One-Liner Wednesday post, as inspired by LindaGHill

Free-For-All Friday #12 — May 29, 2015

Free-For-All Friday #12

Welcome to my Free-for-all Friday, where I get to share with you some of the wonderful posts that I have read this week. As you know I like all type of blogs, so there is a mix of all sorts to suit everyone. Please check out these blogs if you have not already done so, as they are all brilliant.

Creatopath Rachel has all sorts on her blog, from crafts to flash fiction. This post was a short story which I thought was very cleverly written.

Fourth Generation Farm Girl Tonya is amazing at writing acrostic poems. I admire her ability to make them look easy when I know they certainly are not.

Skipah’s Realm This post had me rocking with laughter. I know I have a bit of a sick sense of humour and it was not a funny thing to happen to someone, but the way he described it had me doubled over!

Hugh’s Views and News I love this blog as it is so varied; everything from flash fiction stories that really capture the imagination, to posts by Toby the dog (when he get Hugh out of the way).This post is one that makes me feel proud to be British.

My OBT I really enjoy Donna’s blog. She is a very cultured lady who has also a taste for the wacky and wonderful (definitely my kind of person). Check out this post to see what weirdness she has uncovered.

Daily Echo.Sue is a very talented author and poet, She is also a brilliant raconteur and this post had me in hysterics. I love a good laugh (especially at other people’s ineptitude, as I have so many of my own, that I can really empathise) and this did not disappoint.

So there you have this weeks selection which you are sure to enjoy.

Have a wonderful Friday!

Episode 331: Being Silly on Saturday. — May 16, 2015

Episode 331: Being Silly on Saturday.

There is one song that always cheers me up whenever I hear it, and that is ‘Sexy and I Know It’ by LMFAO. I don’t know whether it is the lyrics, the silly video or just the beat, but whatever it is, it usually manages to bring a smile to my face.

Not only that, but I have noticed it seems to have an effect on others a well. A few weeks ago whilst I was queueing up in a gaming shop with Mr Grump and Miss Hap, this song suddenly blasted at deafening volume. I had to laugh as I a couple of teenagers were singing along, and even a couple of mums and dads were doing a bit of strutting along to it, embarrassing their red-faced offspring. It just seems to bring out the inner Sex God in people (whether they have one or not)!

So I thought I would share with you this advert that we have at the moment for Specsavers featuring this song. It is so silly, but I love it!

Enjoy.

Episode 326: Wacky Word Wednesday #2 — May 13, 2015

Episode 326: Wacky Word Wednesday #2

It’s my favourite day of the week as it means that I get to choose another weird, wacky or wonderful word. Today’s word is normally used in two ways, needless to say, my favourite one is the naughtiest of the two! So without further ado let’s look at……..

Wanton.  Ooooh this is a salacious and shameless word. It it licentious, not to mention loose, immodest and immoral. This is a lustful and lecherous libertine, playing fast and free with her virtue (or lack of)!

On the other hand it can mean, malicious and malevolent, wilful and wicked. It is the violent and vicious person trashing everything in sight without a care. It is gratuitous but groundless destruction, which is both purposeless and pointless.

I certainly know which of the two would describe me! 🙂

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