Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 427: Summertime At The Beach! — July 22, 2015

Episode 427: Summertime At The Beach!

It is my day off today, and as the weather has been so hot and sunny, we decided last night that we would go to the seaside today. Miss Hap has broken up for the school holidays and Mr Grump has this week off. As my world revolves around food I decided that we would take a picnic, and I even made my picnic pie to munch on. After all lazing on the beach with the odd bit of swimming thrown in is hungry work!


This morning we all got up and ready quite early. The weather forecast promised to be good so we set off to the seaside! The sun was shining and in just over 20 mins, we had arrived to the beach we used to go to a lot when we were kids. We pulled into the car park but it was shut! It seemed there was one a little further down the road instead.

We parked up after spending some considerable time on the phone trying to pay for the parking (stupidly we didn’t have the right change). We got that sorted and then decided to go on to the sands. We left our towels and picnic in the boot whilst we checked out whether the tide was in or not.

One we got it we noticed it was decidedly chilly, and a few ominous grey clouds had appeared. Luckily we had bought jumpers etc, and on a positive note had the beach to ourselves.

I even went in for a little paddle (it was bloody FREEZING)!


Unfortunately though, the little huts where you could buy hot drinks, ice creams and even beach goods were all closed so we moved down the coast a little to Dymchurch where Mr Grump and I warmed up with a latte and Miss Hap a hot chocolate!


At least we got a hot drink there (oh and had another car parking phone call)!


It was nice to see the English, Scottish and Welsh flags flying over the small amusement park (which was closed when we for there)! Even the poor donkeys had nothing to do.


It felt as if we were in the Twilight Zone or something; after all, it is the middle of July which is supposed to be summer, and hardly anything was open!

Oh, we ate the picnic in the car!

Episode 392: 7 Not So Good Things About The Summer! — June 25, 2015

Episode 392: 7 Not So Good Things About The Summer!

  1. Flies and wasps! These little sods get everywhere and anywhere buzzing about, dropping into drinks and dive bombing food, if you are not careful.
  2. Curdled milk. What is it with people (especially at work of all places), leaving milk out of the fridge so that it goes like cheese after a little while!
  3. Neighbours who think they are bloody Bruno Mars! Honestly with the windows and doors open and the close proximity of all the houses where I live, every sound can be heard, so when Mr Mars next door starts wailing at the top of his out of tune voice, it is not a pleasant experience. I would love it if he could sing as it is far better than his shouting his head off that we normally get!
  4. White clothes. Now I love all my white outfits despite the fact that white is not always the best colour for the more voluptuous woman to wear. However, being as clumsy as I am, they are normally filthy within a couple of hours where I have at on something or knocked something onto myself!
  5. Sleepless nights. Yes I get enough of those as it is, without the stifling hot air that hangs heavy in my bedroom, despite all windows being open. Having the fan on does not always help as it makes such a bloody racket which is very distracting!
  6. Bad hair days. My hair has a mind of its own and does not want to conform to any sort of style, but in the summer I have one look only, the sweaty, plastered to the head kind of arrangement!
  7. Sand everywhere. I have always been a bit fussy about this, even as a child! I hated being covered in clumps of sand after getting out of the sea, where it had stuck to me. I never wanted to eat the picnics Mum got out of the cool box as inevitably sand would have got into the sandwiches! That CRUNCH as I bit into it made me feel

What annoys you about the summer?

Episode 361: You Know it is Summer in Britain When…….. — June 6, 2015

Episode 361: You Know it is Summer in Britain When……..

  • The trusty, rusty old BBQ that has been loitering in the garden for the winter has been dusted off, cleaned up, and put to work,cooking the nation’s burgers and bangers to that unique blackened outside raw in the middle state that us Brits are so good at!
  • Similarly, the plastic, garden furniture has been de-slimed and scrubbed up; the parasol dug out from the shed and de-cowebbed; and for some. the sun lounger has been dragged out, the mouldy cushions turned over, and are ready to go!
  • People are comparing their sunburned shoulders and backs, (We never learn).
  • The shorts are on! Yes I came home from work yesterday and Mr Grump had got the pure white milk bottle legs out. He would have worn his ‘mandals’ (those horrid man sandals) but I moaned about them so much last year, he got rid of them!
  • The bloody lawn needs mowing AGAIN! It was only done last week!
  • You see people doing ‘the wasp dance.’ You know the one, where they flail around madly, run a few steps, twirl around and start the whole thing over again. If you are lucky it might be accompanied by a bit of screaming (especially if it is me)!
  • The shops have sold out of fans again! If you do have one, the whirring and clonking noise keeps you awake half the night anyway.
  • Suddenly every cafe decides to serve a ‘cream tea!’
  • It’s raining! Especially during Wimbledon
Episode 168: Stressing To Impress! — February 17, 2015

Episode 168: Stressing To Impress!

Next week, I have been invited (it is compulsory) to attend a ‘Team Building’ session at work for a whole day of activities. As you may know I work for the NHS, looking after elderly patients. All of the staff have been divided up into three teams headed by a Sister, with Staff Nurses, Associate Nurse (or Practitioner) and Healthcare Assistants.

My dilemma is this: we have been asked to wear clothes that reflect who were are. Hmmmm, this is a bit tricky as I don’t even know who I am yet despite my advancing years! I know that many people are defined by their jobs, but I suspect that is what we are trying to get away from!

I could turn up in my pyjamas. after all, I do seem to spend rather a lot of time in them! When I get home, I like nothing better than to have a nice bath, and get comfy in my PJs. However, I don’t think I have a pair that are suitable for public viewing; even my Betty Boop ones (of which I have many pairs) are a little scruffy now, and a bit short in the leg.

I am well-known for being clumsy, so what about a protective suit of armour? I could make a lovely grand entrance, clanking my way up the stairs and into the lecture theatre! I should imagine it would be a bit heavy, and perhaps movement may be a little restricted. The visor may even be considered a barrier to communicating to my team-mates. Not sure about this one; I may be shielded from accidents but would probably need to be treated for exhaustion, or rust!

My usual clothes are ones that do not set me apart from anyone else in any way really. I do tend to dress in black a lot, and I wear long tops and leggings mostly. It fits quite well with my personality in that I blend into the crowd, I don’t like drawing attention to myself much, and I am still just a little on the shy side.

However, I am trying to come out of myself more. I know all of my colleagues very well, and at work I am more confident, and assertive (I have to be). I was discussing with Mr Grump what he thought summed me up as a person, and he said it just as I was thinking it.

love the 1950s and the fashions that were around at that time, during the summer months, especially on special occasions I wear one of my ‘Hell Bunny’ dresses as I love their designs. I actually own one similar to the photograph which I call my ‘Minnie Mouse’ dress.

I know it is the middle of winter. Yes, it is freezing cold. ‘ll probably have to wear tights and proper shoes as opposed to bare legs and my matching red and white spotty wedges, and of course I’ll need a cardigan or something. Never mind.

It definitely reflects who I am, a bit dotty, utterly inappropriate (I still always burst out laughing at the most inopportune times), and it has hidden depths!

I think it pretty much sums me up!

Episode 121: Reasons I Love The Seasons….. — January 24, 2015

Episode 121: Reasons I Love The Seasons…..

Summer days spent swimming

And picnics on the sands

Strolls along the seafront

Lovers holding hands

Autumn leaves are falling

Golden leaves lay at our feet

Halloween and Bonfires

Kids going ‘Trick or Treat’

Winter and its freezing

Kids sledging down the hill

Holidays and presents

The season of goodwill

Spring brings new life with it

As nature’s cycle starts again

The leaves and flowers grow once more

Refreshed by winter’s rain

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