Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 305: I’ve Had Enough Of Your Lip Kylie Jenner! — April 26, 2015

Episode 305: I’ve Had Enough Of Your Lip Kylie Jenner!

Celebrities sometimes have a lot to answer for. Many of them are role models to our young and impressionable who want to ‘fit in.’ They think that by emulating some of their idols behaviour they too will be popular and successful, even if it makes them look ridiculous!

The latest craze, apparently attributed to Kylie Jenner, is to make your lips look like you have been punched in the mouth! Now why anyone would find this attractive is beyond me, but what do I know? I am old and past it!

To achieve said look, also described as bee-stung lips (if you ask me it is more like anaphylaxis after being stung), you are supposed to put a glass (preferably a shot glass) over the lips, suck all the air out, prise it off, and admire your massive mouth!

This is just wrong on so many levels! Not only is it dangerous, (the glass could break cutting into the mouth), but for some, the ‘trout pout’ look takes a few days to go back down again. A few youngsters have suffered bruising as well as split lips, and even for those where it has supposedly ‘worked,’ they resemble a duck with an abscess!

Unfortunately,  Miss Hap has had a go at this without saying anything beforehand. I am annoyed as I had vaguely heard about it before but didn’t think she would want to try it! I am hoping that it will go down quickly as it looks painful apart from anything else.

Next time she wants a drink she can have a plastic beaker and not a glass!

Swollen Lips

Episode 184: Contaminated Cankle! — February 27, 2015

Episode 184: Contaminated Cankle!

What a day! I was tired to start with, having been awake half the night itching and scratching, trying to soothe my sores with a cold compress; early nodding off, then manically raking my skin again, repeating the whole process.

When I finally did get up this morning I had a lovely ‘cankle’, as my ankle was so swollen it was difficult to distinguish it from leg! It was also scabby, red and hot to the touch, (oh and not to mention painful as hell).

I hobbled  down the road to meet up with one of the kind nurses on shift with me today who gave me a lift in to work. Once I got there I moaned to anyone who would listen how sore my ankle was, and I pulled up my trouser leg to show them (much to their delight I am sure)!

I put a dressing on it. but we were pretty busy at work being extremely short-staffed, so I tried to put it out of my mind, although of course it still hurt. I did show it to one of our ward doctors and she advised me to see my GP or go to A & E in the hospital. I phoned my GP and managed to get an appointment after work. Mr Grump borrowed the neighbour’s car to take me down there as I didn’t fancy hobbling all the way there and back after being on it all day as it was.

The doctor looked at my ankle and other sores and told me it was impetigo! Well I wasn’t expecting that, especially as it is highly contagious! Great! Yet more antibiotics, my third lot this year so far! Some of my colleagues at work were thrilled as well when I phoned up to let them know; especially as I had been waving my poor contaminated ankle around all day. I don’t think I am going to be very popular!

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