Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode : 374: Reasons I am So Untrendy……. — June 14, 2015

Episode : 374: Reasons I am So Untrendy…….

I like to know what is going on in the world, and to keep  up-to-date with the latest trends. Having a young daughter also keeps me in the loop of what is happening (mainly because she keeps telling me that I haven’t got a clue)! Here’s why…

  • I hate ‘Game of Thrones!’ I just don’t get it at all; from what I have seen of it so far (and I usually put my headphones on and blog when Mr Grump has it on) everyone is a Prince or Queen or something. Not only that, there seems to be a hell of a lot of gory endings, people getting bumped off every five minutes! Add to that a load of sex, and some of that incestous! It is, in a nutshell, a bunch of royals, having it off with everyone, then plotting their most savage and brutal demise!
  • There is no way on earth I can do this new ‘belly button challenge!’ It involves wrapping one of your arms around your back and touching your belly button to prove what a fit body you have! Hmmmm, I don’t need to become a contortionist to know that I might not be quite as fit as I should be! If I tried to do that, I would no doubt pull or tear something, rendering myself even more unfit!
  • As much as I like to watch a Disney film, there is no way I would want to get married in a Disney princess inspired wedding dress! I mean the Little Mermaid was lovely, but who would want to totter down the aisle wearing a bloody great fishtail?!
  • I could not be trusted with a ‘selfie stick! Now I know these are very popular at the moment and help get a much better photo, but I am not keen. Not only would I feel ridiculous waving it around in the air trying to get the right spot, but knowing me I would end up poking someone in the eye, or giving someone an unexpected clout whilst trying to concentrate on capturing the perfect shot!
  • I don’t want to ‘Keep up with the Kardashians!’ For a start there are far too many of them and I don’t know who they all are! Kim and Kanye being forever in the news is starting to get boring! Now that she is having another baby (will it be called South)? we will be bombarded with every last detail. Kylie and her pouty lips has already annoyed me, as Miss Hap tried to copy her as you can see here.

What makes matters worse is that Mr Grump is much more trendy than I am!

Episode 217: Dining Delights! — March 12, 2015

Episode 217: Dining Delights!

As many of you know, I do love my food and going out to eat is something that I enjoy, especially when a load of the family come as well (there are rather a lot of us so we take up quite a bit of room.

Anyway, last summer for Mum’s birthday we went to a lovely local pub which is renowned for steak served on ‘hot stones’. It is quite a nice concept as the steak is served to you at the table on this stone, and you can decide when it is cooked to your liking. The only problem is, being the only ‘Philistine’ who likes their steak well-done, mine took ages to cook!

Mr Grump thought he was doing me a favour by cutting it into smaller pieces so it would cook faster, but this just enraged me as I now looked like a toddler who had to have their food cut up for them! Anyway, I did enjoy the meal (even though my chips had gone cold)!

Anyway, to get to the point, it has become the latest thing now for ‘trendy’ pubs and restaurants to serve up food on a variety of objects not normally associated with fine dining. For example, would you like your bread served in a flat cap? (I know I wouldn’t. I would hate it if I found a hair in it)! What about having brie balls from a training shoe?(Pooh! Talk about cheesy feet)!

The Swiss prefer their bread from a slipper apparently (gives a whole new meaning to crusty heels)! Broken bathroom tiles are ideal to serve butter from apparently and who doesn’t love a mushroom croquette laid on a piece of tree bark!

Even writing this my stomach is churning unpleasantly! It would be good for my weight loss regime at least I suppose if nothing else, as I do not  fancy cheesy balls, especially ones served from what looks like a sweaty trainer!

I am not the only one who is not keen on this new eating experience, as there is a Twitter group @wewantplates that are also flummoxed by the idea of eating from whatever is handy at the time!

What do you think, plates or planks of wood etc?

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