Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 275: Window Shopping! — April 7, 2015

Episode 275: Window Shopping!

It is a lovely day here today with the sun shining, and my cold is a lot better (It has decided it has had enough of me and had gone to settle on Mr Grump instead)! Myself and Miss Hap decided it would be nice to have a quick trip into town and treat ourselves to a very unhealthy breakfast (bang goes the lbs I have lost so far)! I have to say a sausage and egg Mcmuffin really hits the spot when you have been ‘healthy eating’ for a few weeks!

Anyway, we  looked around for a bit and got some odds and ends, then I noticed a lady that did ‘threading.’ Seeing as my eyebrows were a bit straggly I told Miss Hap that I would quickly get them done, Of course. I had forgotten how much it bloody hurts, and needless to say my eyes streamed with water. Before I had properly come back to my senses, she asked about doing my top lip as well.

Oh. I hadn’t realised that it was a moustache in progress. so I told her to go ahead. Having never had this threaded before, I was rather taken aback by the pain! Miss Hap must have noticed my grimacing (I had my eyes screwed tightly shut as well) as she grabbed my hand and squeezed it for comfort, bless her.

That ordeal over with I tried to leave with my dignity intact. but it was not easy with a snotty, runny nose and streaming eyes (I could have put it down to the cold I suppose)! Miss Hap wanted to go to the phone shop to get a replacement sim card as she had damaged it. so we headed there next.

I am never keen on going to these places as they are of course very knowledgeable about phone technology etc and I am a dunce. I asked for the sim , and then the assistant started going on about me being overdue for an upgrade and did I want this or that?! No I bloody didn’t. My daughter gets rather fixated on things and although she already has an iPhone it is not the latest one. She is not getting it either so I did not want him discussing upgrades or I would never hear the last of it.

I looked at him with my blotchy, red, snotty face and told him sternly that I was not prepared to discuss upgrades now, and he decided it might be a good idea to shut up and give me the sim card!

Once we had finished shopping, Miss Hap and I got in the car to come home. Now on the way into town Miss Hap was playing ‘Rapper’s Delight’ (I have very little new stuff in my car). She loves it and knows most of the words, and recently Mr Grump had fitted this huge speaker thing covered in carpet(?) into the back of my car so my stereo sounds quite loud!

She had cranked up the volume and we were both making a nice racket along with the Sugarhill Gang on our journey. However, on the way out of the multi-storey car park I had to Wind my window down to put the ticket in the slot to get out, and it wouldn’t go back up! All the way home I tried to no avail. Miss Hap was not so keen now on the stereo loudly blasting out Leo Sayer’s ‘When I need you’ and I refused to turn it down!

We were lucky it was such a lovely, sunny day and didn’t get soaking wet!

Blogging From A-Z Challenge: ‘F’ —

Blogging From A-Z Challenge: ‘F’

As the end of week one draws to a close for the Blogging From A-Z Challenge we find ourselves at the letter ‘F.’ Now there are a few words that I could do for this letter, but they would not be very polite, so I am going to opt for the beautifully sounding flummoxed.

Now this word is mystifying in a kind of ‘what’s going on?’ type of way. It is the vacant expressioned bamboozled look of someone totally discombobulated! It is the blank face of bafflement, the perplexed  look of puzzlement.

This word is for when you haven’t got a clue, The shrugged shoulders when you realise that something has just gone way over your head, and is way beyond your grasp! A bit like the feeling you get when reading one of my posts!

The Daydreamer Challenge : Day 1 — April 6, 2015

The Daydreamer Challenge : Day 1

The Daydreamer Challenge has begun,… I am looking forward to having a go! 🙂

Caitlin (A Little Daydreamer)'s avatarA Little Daydreamer

The Daydreamer Challenge

Dear Awesome Reader,

I’m soooooo excited to announce that…

“THE DAYDREAMER CHALLENGE HAS BEGUN!”

*Applause* Thank you, thank you!

Get your keyboard ready as we begin to embark on our quest in completing the Daydreamer Challenge! Thank you to all of you amazing, incredible, wonderful, AWESOME people who have taken the time to sign up for this crazy challenge! If you haven’t signed up, then you can still be an amazing, wonderful, AWESOME person by clicking and signing up now! Remember, anyone can sign up at any time!

Today, I will give you 3 topics, each with picture prompts and ideas. All you do is pick a topic and write about the topic you have chosen in any form you like! It could be a poem, short story, description, memory, anything! And you get points! Click here if you want to know about daydreamer points! (Reblogging this post will…

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Episode 274:Ronovan’s Writes Weekly Haiku Prompt Challenge #39 —

Episode 274:Ronovan’s Writes Weekly Haiku Prompt Challenge #39

Ronovan’s weekly prompt  challenge is pretty tricky this week! The words to be used are ‘vie’ and ‘reach.’

The Elusive Moon.

The moon, so sexy

The stars vie for attention

She is out of reach!

Episode 273: As Clear As Mud! —

Episode 273: As Clear As Mud!

Everybody loves a cliché. There seems to be one for every occasion; some words of wisdom that convey a message or moral. Given my love for words, as well as for the  silly and unusual, I thought I would have a look at a few of my favourites.

  • All that glitters is not gold. Now I love a bit of sparkle, and like to wear a bit of bling when I am not at work, and yes it is real gold (I prefer the white variety though). However I also like sparkly nail varnishes and eye shadow as well. Glittery hair clips and sequined tops are very pretty also. I don’t think they would have quite the appeal if they were made of real gold though, Not only would I be scared to go out of the door wearing a fortune, but it would be bloody heavy to carry it around!
  • Don’t get your knickers in a twist. This one is quite amusing, I do get myself agitated at times but it is not because my knickers are all twisted up. Having said that, I remember once putting them on side-ways on! I don’t quite know how I managed that, but I was not very comfy.
  • They must have hit every branch falling out of the ugly tree. This is pretty cruel as people can’t help the way they look. Just recently Mr Grump was told by a colleague that his new boss was not blessed in the looks department, and this cliché was used. He did confirm it to be true when he actually met her, but he doesn’t care about that. The fact that she is doing a great job and is a lovely person is what matters to him.
  • Tickled pink. This expression conveys delight and happiness however not for me it doesn’t. Well not in the literal sense anyway. I HATE being tickled. It just makes me squirm and cringe as I find it extremely unpleasant. I might have mentioned before that I hate feet as well. If my feet are tickled I will kick out! So this expression of being ‘tickled pink’ for me would have to be changed to ‘tickled purple’ and it would be used to convey rage not happiness!
  • The cat’s whiskers or my personal favourite, the dog’s bollocks. These mean the same thing which is to be envied or admired. You know when you have a snazzy new outfit and you think you are ‘the cat’s whiskers.’ Or perhaps a bloke has got some new Playstation game of something, which his mates think is the ‘dog’s bollocks.’ God knows where these expressions come from but I do not see what is so wonderful about some facial hair or testicles for that matter, maybe we should combine the two to get ‘hairy bollocks’ or something? Nope! That doesn’t cut it either!

I think clichés are under-appreciated really. We are all told to be original and not to use them, but perhaps if we dig out some of the lesser-used ones and give the, an airing once more, it will brighten things up a bit!

Blogging From A-Z Challenge: ‘E’ —

Blogging From A-Z Challenge: ‘E’

As it is nearly Easter, it would have been so handy to have chosen that word for my Blogging from A-Z Challenge post. However, there is a much better word that I think suits me perfectly.

Let me present to you my word, eccentric. This word is the mad professor, blowing up things in his shed as he perfects his inventions;  the crazy old girl who trots about in multi-coloured clothes and unruly hair, who has about 100 cats!

What about the elderly gent that still likes to wear a top hat and tails whilst doing his weekly shopping? Maybe he lives next door to a rosy-cheeked grandma that has a load of dollies that she treats as her children, dressing them up and holding tea parties for them.

It is peculiar in its nuttiness, unconventional and odd. It is what I aspire to be when I get old.

Yes, eccentric seems to be mainly applied to the ‘more mature’ person. Presumably. it takes time to perfect the art.

I am working on it!

Episode 272: What A Carry On! — April 5, 2015

Episode 272: What A Carry On!

I had really been looking forward to going to my sister’s today. I had a little nap before we went, as I slept very badly last night due feeling really rough with this bloody cold.

We picked my mum up on the way and everyone else was already there when we arrived. Lunch was a beautiful roast beef and yorkshire pudding. We had a cake that my sister had made for pudding which looked so good I took a photo of it!  Not only did it have mini eggs and chocolate orange segments, it also had Nutella in it! I just had to have a little bit of it to try and it was even better than it looked (if that us possible).

Anyway, the fever kicked in again after lunch, and as Mum felt tired, I ended up coming home early. Miss Hap, bless her, wanted to come with me as well to look after me (plus she didn’t want to walk home later as I had the car)!

We are now enjoying a ‘Carry On’ film fest in our pyjamas.  Every Bank Holiday they seem to put them on back to back. I grew up with these films, but never get tired of watching them. The silliness of them as well as the innuendo and double-entendres still make me laugh my head off! Good job I am easily pleased!

Episode 271: Easter Wishes. —

Episode 271: Easter Wishes.

I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Easter. I hope that you have fun whatever you decide to do today. We are going over to my sister’s for a lovely roast, and will probably play a few games. We always have a good time over there.

It is great that none of us are working over Easter for a change, and are able to spend some time together. My mum (who is 82), will also be coming over. and she surprised us all in the summer by being a bit of a mean table tennis player! Despite her arthritis and reduced mobility, she can certainly have us all running about trying to return her killer serves!

Miss Hap has already had a couple of eggs and some new pyjamas (I don’t know why but I always buy her pyjamas at Easter)! The dog has had some doggy chocolate droops as well, so she is happy.

Mr Grump bought me some beautiful flowers instead of chocolate. Unfortunately, I have also had to have some paracetamol! I am full of cold, and ache like hell, but I have been looking forward to spending the day with family, so have dosed myself up in preparation.

Although I am not particularly religious, I do believe in love, friendship, family, honesty, trust and respect, which is the mainstay of most religions anyway.

I hope that however you choose to spend your day, it is filled with joy and happiness.

Happy Easter!

Episode 270! Hoppy Easter! — April 4, 2015

Episode 270! Hoppy Easter!

Oooh I can’t wait for tomorrow

Time for lots of lovely treats

The bunny has been delivering

Yummy Easter eggs and sweets

It’s great to be with family

You rarely get to see

Playing games and having fun

It means the world to me

Pretty Easter decor

Brightly coloured bunting

Hiding eggs and leaving clues

For the kids to go treasure hunting!

Have a Happy Easter

Whatever you intend to do

I hope the Easter bunny

Leaves lots of treats for you!

Episode 269: Mixing Business With Pleasure! —

Episode 269: Mixing Business With Pleasure!

Looking for love can be quite a daunting task. Some people prefer the more traditional methods such as going out to pubs, clubs and other places hoping to get lucky and meet that special person. Some rely on friends to fix them up with someone who they know, and arrange a kind of ‘blind date’ scenario.

Other people go for the more modern approach, internet dating being the most popular. There are many websites now that are dedicated for the sole purpose of finding your soul mate. Some might be a bit pricey though and put people off.

Now, you might want to use your initiative and find your own way of attracting your perfect partner. It all depends what you are looking for in your life-long lover, as to how you go about it,

So you have to admire a builder who decided that he would take matters into his own hands to find romance. Actually, he needed an apprentice as well to teach them his trade so that they could help him at work. He had a sudden brain wave to combine the two! Why waste time on writing out separate ads when you can get both for the price of one!

Now this man (called John) did not have a list of qualities, traits or preferences for his potential paramour, no indeed! As long as they were female and between the ages of 30-40 that would do for him! What would he offer in return?

A ‘craft that would change your life!’ Now there’s an offer  you can’t refuse! Whether your life would be changed for the better or not was not stipulated, as John is a man of very few words, and even fewer emotions it seems. although no-one could doubt the fact that he is obviously extremely practical and economical.

It would be wonderful if John found himself the apprentice/partner/lover that he wanted, but I am not holding out much hope!

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