Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 176: Are We Too Clean? — February 22, 2015

Episode 176: Are We Too Clean?

You may remember some time ago I wrote about my mum’s attitude that ‘A little bit of dirt never hurt anybody’. This was in regards to her cavalier disregard for sell-by dates.kitchen cleanliness and other such pleasantries!

To add to this, I remember only having a bath once a week (on a Sunday night fresh for school on Monday), and it was either in with my younger sister, or somebody else’s second-hand water! We didn’t think anything of it really at that time, as we still washed, just didn’t bathe!

Of course, becoming teenagers was a whole new ballgame. We were never out of the bathroom! Mum would be vexed that we would only wear our clothes once and then chuck them in the wash. Apart from underwear, she was convinced that our clothes still had another day or two left in them before they got dirty enough to warrant washing.

She thought we were crazy washing our hair every day as well, telling us that it ‘would wash all the goodness out of it’. We still did it anyway, and got through a job lot of shampoo and conditioner along the way.

According to a survey of 2021 women commissioned by Flint + Flint (A skin care company) four out of five women still don’t bother to shower every day, and in fact one-third will go for three days without washing at all. Phewwwww, I bet things get a bit whiffy around the nethers. How gross!

Like most women I know, I bathe every day, and many times more often than that. I would never dream of going to work without first bathing, which is one of the reasons I get up so early. In my opinion, it is not just about personal pride, but consideration for others as well. I have to get pretty close to my patients, and I am sure they would not want to be a couple of inches from an unwashed armpit – or worse!

By the same token, we wash our patients every day, for their self-respect and dignity as well as the obvious infection control measures. Most of us actually feel better when we are clean, with washed hair and fresh clothes.

I am not averse to a bit of dirt either. Kids like to play in the mud and get filthy, as it is so much fun. I think if we obsessively clean everything to within an inch of its life, then we run the risk of not building up any resistance, and catching everything going! It is about balance and common sense.

Are we too clean or should we leave it 3 days between washes?

Episode 175: Smoking To Scoffing! —

Episode 175: Smoking To Scoffing!

Now that I’ve given up smoking

There’s no more standing outside

Freezing to death in all weathers

As well as trying to hide

My clothes all smell so much sweeter

I’ve lost that strange tinge to my skin

I’m no longer puffing and panting

And I’m determined not to give in

The cough that used to be constant

Has decided to go on its way

I am now considered a non-smoker

After years of smoking 20 a day!

There is one fly in the ointment

That really isn’t so good

Instead of smoking my head off

I’m stuffing my face full of food!

Episode 174: Stung By The Sewing Bee! — February 21, 2015

Episode 174: Stung By The Sewing Bee!

The Great British Sewing Bee had started its third series so be warned! I was addicted to the first two, bought both the books, and tried out some of the patterns.

Let’s just say that I am a little ‘inexperienced’ at the moment, and also the patterns do not seem to be designed for my shape at all! (Ok, I’m just rubbish at it)!

Of course now that it is back on again, I have renewed interest in all things home-sewn and once I have bought this new book, I will be desperate to make some of the amazing garments from the show.

There will be no end of swearing,stomping about and unpicking, but maybe, just maybe I will actually produce something that I can wear, or is useful this time!  So beware, I might even post a picture one day if anything turns out right!

Episode 173: Dodgy Hair-Don’ts! —

Episode 173: Dodgy Hair-Don’ts!

We’ve all had those days… you’re feeling a little down in the dumps, and need cheering up. You decide on a whim to go and get a haircut. After all, if your hair looks good then you feel good. Only your hair doesn’t look good. Someone is going to pay!

Apparently, a gentleman in the USA had this problem. He went to have his hair cut , but was not pleased with the results or the price so he did what any other sane person would do…. and trashed the salon, kicking a hole in the wall and chucking a candle display about. He also got a bit angry with the staff, feeling that he was ripped off after being charged $50 for the new do! He had the cheek to return later and asked for a re-style, The staff refused and he got arrested!

Oh I admire his nerve! I have had my fair share of bad haircuts in the past. Remember when the spiral perm was ‘in’? All those lovely corkscrew curls cascading down your back. I was desperate for one. I had long hair which was neither straight nor curly (kinky is the word). Anyway, I saved my money until I could afford it and trotted off to the salon in excitement.

I was a bit concerned that the hairdresser was doing my hair in exactly the same way as they would a normal perm, but kept quiet as I know nothing about hair. Anyway  a good few hours later and the finished result…..a much shorter, frizz bush of a hairstyle which frankly, looked awful! Not for me the long, lustrous, twirly curls I had anticipated. Of course I said nothing and left considerably lighter in hair, and in pocket!

The other occasion was getting my hair highlighted. Again I had very long hair, but I thought it needed a bit of a lift and highlights were going to do just that. I decided that I would save myself a bit of money (it’s not going to end well) and go as a ‘model’ at the salon.

This meant that a student would be let loose on my hair but would be supervised every step of the way by a senior stylist. It would cost a lot less too. Great, I trotted off, this time expecting that I was going to come out with brighter, shinier blonde hair, with that ‘natural’ sun-bleached look.

The student was very lovely, a little nervous, but that was to be expected. The first thing was she asked me to stand up whilst she brushed my hair through as it was long and kept catching on the back of the chair, I did this, but felt a little self-conscious. The next thing was she put one of those  caps on my head (I could sit down now) with holes in, Funny. I thought I was going to get some foils.

The supervisor glanced over now and again but without concern, so I just let the student get on with it. It was pretty hard to keep quiet though when she dug that crochet hook thing into a hole in the cap and dragged a long strand of my hair through. It did make me wince a bit. and my eyes water rather a lot, nor to mention the odd ‘owww’ and ‘oooh’ that escaped during the torture procedure!

Eventually, several hours later I exited the salon with hair exactly the same shade as when I went in and a bloody sore head! Of course when asked what I thought, I wimped out and said it was lovely (and gave a tip)!

I’m a lot older and wiser now and much more assertive so wouldn’t put up with a dodgy haircut now. However, bad it may look, I still wouldn’t be kicking holes in the walls though!

Episode 172: Don’t You Just Hate It When…. — February 20, 2015

Episode 172: Don’t You Just Hate It When….

We all have those moments in life. You know, the little irritations that serve no purpose other than to make your day just that little bit duller. Here are some of the things that really wind me up……

  • You have taken ages styling and straightening your hair (or have just been to the hairdressers) then get caught in a rainstorm (with no brolly)!
  • You get an unexpected cash windfall – then your car breaks down and is going to cost a fortune to repair. Those shoes will have to wait.
  • It’s taken ages to get off to sleep, but just as you feel yourself slipping off, you have a desperate urge to go to the loo.
  • You have spent ages cleaning the bathroom, and someone wants to have a bath.
  • You’re excited with the perfect gift you have bought for someone’s birthday – and someone else has bought it as well.
  • You save up for ages to buy something expensive, only to find it is in the sale a few days later!
  • You are invited to a friend’s house, and knock coffee all over her pristine carpet.
  • Your other half has mixed the loads in the washing machine again. Grey bras are not attractive!
  • You are desperate to go to the loo when you get to work, then realise there is no loo roll AFTER you have already been!
  • You realise you can’t walk in those gorgeous high heels that you just bought.
  • You go to use your best mascara only to find your daughter has been ‘practicing her make-up skills’ with it, and there is none left,
  • You go to read an old favourite book, only to remember you loaned it to someone ages ago!
  • You start to write a blog post and run out of ideas half-way through!!

What little niggles wind you up?

Episode 171: Ode To Nurses — February 19, 2015

Episode 171: Ode To Nurses

This poem is for all the nurses, nursing assistants and carers. A typical day for us!

Your day starts very early

Before you are awake

There are patients who need washing

And lots of beds to make

The buzzers are all going

There really is no rest

Someone wants the toilet

“Sorry to be a pest!”

Some bloods need to be taken

Dressings to be changed

That patient’s going home soon

And no transport has been arranged!

“Someone’s had an accident

Go and change the bed”

Another one has had a fall

And now he’s banged his head

“Where’s the bloody doctor?”

The relatives want a word

Your smile becomes a grimace

As you’ve just skidded on a turd!

You quickly get it cleaned up

But it won’t come off your shoe

The time is going quickly

But there’s still so much to do!

You finally write your notes up

And hope you did ok

Then home to get some shut –eye

To face another day!

Episode 170: Politeness Pays…. —

Episode 170: Politeness Pays….

I have written a couple of posts about manners, and how I hate it when people are rude, arrogant or just plain obnoxious. We are very quick to judge people on their behaviour, and here are some examples of how first impressions matter…

A man getting off the Tube politely let another male passenger go before him. The other man started pushing and shoving despite being told by the first man that he was not trying to block his way. Anyway, after a bit of argy-bargy, it was suggested that the first man might like to ‘go f**k himself.’

Later that evening, the first man was conducting some job interviews. Guess who turned up?! Unfortunately, he didn’t meet the requirements and was unsuccessful in getting the job. They did have a laugh about their earlier scuffle though apparently!

The  second story involves a little girl of five years old. She was in a shop with her granddad after school, looking at toys. They often visited this shop and the little girl would spell out the names of the toys she wanted. This was educational for the little girl and enjoyable for them both.

On one of their visits, as the little girl was spelling out one of the toys she wanted, a woman approached them and gave the granddad an envelope. She then disappeared after remarking how pleasant and polite the little girl was. In the envelope was a voucher for £10. The little girl was thrilled as she had enough money to buy one of the toys on her wishlist.

The idiot on the Tube might have wished that he had remembered his manners!

Public Service Announcement —

Public Service Announcement

This shows how important it is to get checked out.

coldhandboyack's avatarEntertaining Stories

I’m going to invite everyone to re-blog, tweet, and otherwise share this post today. We all wish our posts got that much love, but this one is important. If you are a man, love a man, or maybe both, this post is important.

I debated long and hard about sharing this at all. It involves personal information, and I like to keep a bit of privacy. I had to weigh the fact that my mother reads this blog, along with at least two co-workers, against the possibility of helping someone else. Someone else won.

Popular rumor holds that a man should have certain things checked medically once he turns 50. In typical male fashion, I waited until I was 53 and 8 months to schedule my colonoscopy. This is a degrading procedure that involves shoving a camera into places that aren’t visible by design. I thought it was degrading, but…

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Episode 169: Spring is On The Way….. — February 18, 2015

Episode 169: Spring is On The Way…..

Now I don’t like to boast, but poor Donna from MyOBT was just complaining how cold it was over in New York, and I just had to mention what a beautiful, sunny day it is here in the good old UK. Knowing how obsessed us Brits are with the weather, it makes a very pleasant change to have something positive to say about it for once!

Last night I had to work a rare night shift; It was really busy, and as usual was stuffy and hot up on the ward despite the freezing temperatures outside. I was heartened however, to notice that the dawn was breaking early, and as it approached 8am when it was time to go home, the sun was shining.

I did not however, bargain on having to scrape ice off the windscreen and spend 20 minutes defrosting the car, before  I could get home to my bed. Not being used to nights my poor, shattered eyes were squinting against the dazzling sun driving home.

When I finally dropped into bed, I was awakened about less than three hours later by kids playing outside, (it’s half-term week), enjoying the unexpectedly lovely day. I dragged myself downstairs to see Mr Grump manically cleaning out the fish tank. Something has put him in a good mood then, must be the sunshine!

I decided to leave him to it and flopped out on the sofa for an hour, trying to get a bit more shut-eye. When I woke back up we decided to go out and get a couple more fish as the tank was looking a bit sparse. a bit of new life is what we needed. As we walked into the Garden Centre Mr Grump suddenly piped up with,

“Oooh it’s a little colder than I thought”. I told him that I was ok, in fact, I was quite warm. The difference between us was, that I hadn’t gone Commando!

Don’t you just love the spring?

Episode 168: Stressing To Impress! — February 17, 2015

Episode 168: Stressing To Impress!

Next week, I have been invited (it is compulsory) to attend a ‘Team Building’ session at work for a whole day of activities. As you may know I work for the NHS, looking after elderly patients. All of the staff have been divided up into three teams headed by a Sister, with Staff Nurses, Associate Nurse (or Practitioner) and Healthcare Assistants.

My dilemma is this: we have been asked to wear clothes that reflect who were are. Hmmmm, this is a bit tricky as I don’t even know who I am yet despite my advancing years! I know that many people are defined by their jobs, but I suspect that is what we are trying to get away from!

I could turn up in my pyjamas. after all, I do seem to spend rather a lot of time in them! When I get home, I like nothing better than to have a nice bath, and get comfy in my PJs. However, I don’t think I have a pair that are suitable for public viewing; even my Betty Boop ones (of which I have many pairs) are a little scruffy now, and a bit short in the leg.

I am well-known for being clumsy, so what about a protective suit of armour? I could make a lovely grand entrance, clanking my way up the stairs and into the lecture theatre! I should imagine it would be a bit heavy, and perhaps movement may be a little restricted. The visor may even be considered a barrier to communicating to my team-mates. Not sure about this one; I may be shielded from accidents but would probably need to be treated for exhaustion, or rust!

My usual clothes are ones that do not set me apart from anyone else in any way really. I do tend to dress in black a lot, and I wear long tops and leggings mostly. It fits quite well with my personality in that I blend into the crowd, I don’t like drawing attention to myself much, and I am still just a little on the shy side.

However, I am trying to come out of myself more. I know all of my colleagues very well, and at work I am more confident, and assertive (I have to be). I was discussing with Mr Grump what he thought summed me up as a person, and he said it just as I was thinking it.

love the 1950s and the fashions that were around at that time, during the summer months, especially on special occasions I wear one of my ‘Hell Bunny’ dresses as I love their designs. I actually own one similar to the photograph which I call my ‘Minnie Mouse’ dress.

I know it is the middle of winter. Yes, it is freezing cold. ‘ll probably have to wear tights and proper shoes as opposed to bare legs and my matching red and white spotty wedges, and of course I’ll need a cardigan or something. Never mind.

It definitely reflects who I am, a bit dotty, utterly inappropriate (I still always burst out laughing at the most inopportune times), and it has hidden depths!

I think it pretty much sums me up!

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