Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 35: Remember, Remember The 5th of November…. — November 5, 2014

Episode 35: Remember, Remember The 5th of November….

Good old Guy Fawkes. Thanks to his botched attempt to blow up the House of Lords and King James 1st with it, we get to celebrate November 5th with fireworks and bonfires, which stems from the celebrations that occurred after the failed Gunpowder Plot of 1605.

In keeping with British tradition, it has absolutely bucketed down with rain all day. That’s such a shame for those that have built bonfires ready to set alight tonight, The weather has literally put a damper on everything as it so often does, but where there is a will there is a way, and it will take more than a bit of rain to put people off their celebrations tonight.

I remember a couple of years ago on bonfire night, myself, Mr Grump, Miss Hap and a friend of hers decided to climb right to the top of the nearby Downs by candle light with a load of other people,where we would be rewarded with a spectacular bonfire and firework display once we reached the summit.Mr Grump was going to catch up with us halfway up as he had not finished work yet….

Me and the girls waited with all the others at the starting point, but soon realised that we were at somewhat of a disadvantage as most people had sensibly bought lanterns, and torches etc, we of course had nothing! Never mind, we could just tag along with people who had a light in order that we could see where we were going. In theory this was a good plan, however in practice they were pretty fit people, striding along up the hill, and it didn’t take long for me to lag behind, puffing and panting. We waited for the next group with lights and started the long climb again, but I was totally out of condition, and was concerned that I was going to have a heart attack, with all the wheezing and blowing, stopping and starting.

At last we made it to the top, just as Mr Grump caught us up (He had been really crafty and  parked his van on the road about halfway up the downs, cut through the fields that were cordoned off for the ‘experienced walkers’) and was with us in record time! It was a beautiful sight right out across the downs where the whole town could be seen. Different coloured fireworks lit up the sky and it was a wonderful sight t behold and well worth the effort.

Tonight though for our family, we will not be venturing out, As I sit here by my back door, I can hear the whizzes, bangs and pops of a few locals letting off the odd box of fireworks The dog gives an occasional bark to show her displeasure at the noise , but she is surprisingly unafraid, As I have just returned from the doctor’s with a throat infection, fever, and a week’s worth of antibiotics  we have decided to stay in the warm and dry.(That’s what you get for giving up smoking)!!!

I remember when I was young, you very often used to see a group of kids (usually boys) with a rickety old trolley which had a lumpy, home-made effigy of a Guy sitting drunkenly in it, with a sign asking for ‘A penny for the Guy’. You don’t see that so much now though which is a shame. Some of those ‘guys’ were pretty good, normally made with someone’s dad’s old jumper and trousers stuffed with newspaper so it would burn better on the bonfire.

As for the fireworks, well we had never heard of Health and Safety back then. The Dads would be out in the garden letting rockets off out of milk bottles! Everyone would be ooohing and ahhing especially when the ‘Catherine Wheel’ was lit. Oh this was the showpiece,… Hammered in to the back fence it would start to turn very slowly , then speed up, twirling around and around shooting wonderful sparks and colours out as it went, then… Bang,,,it took off where it was not hammered in properly and everyone would be ducking and diving to avoid getting hit!

Things then calmed down with sparklers.Little kids would be waving them around in the air making pretty patterns with the glowing ends.Then the food which would normally be a huge warming stew or jacket potatoes cooked in the fire, plus other winter goodies….Ahh, yes, those were the days…Now though organised displays which people are encouraged to attend, charge and arm and a leg for 30 mins of fireworks which you can barely get anywhere near, and if you are lucky a measly hot dog or burger which are flabby and tepid!

Episode 34: Unexpected Praise…. — November 4, 2014

Episode 34: Unexpected Praise….

Isn’t it strange that sometimes a compliment can make you feel really awful!…I am a person that likes to get things done, if I have got a job to do then i am going to do my utmost to get it done,, and also do it to the best of my ability…

However, life does it’s best to throw a spanner in the works whenever it can. Working with people is at best unpredictable and at worst chaotic, means that even with the best intentions in the world, things often end up going pear-shaped regardless of how hard you try.Today was one of those days….

I was working in my usual Bay looking after 6 ladies with a newly qualified nurse. Half of our patients were due to have various procedures which involved them leaving  the ward, so we wanted to try to get them washed and ready first. Breakfast was late arriving, and drugs took a while, so were slightly late in starting washing the patients. Unfortunately my colleague had got embroiled in a complicated fight between relatives of one of our patients… It was all to do with a lot of money the patient had brought into hospital with her; it involved the Police, Adult Protection, a wife-beating husband (who looked the picture of innocence sitting in his wheelchair), and conniving relatives, who all turned up at the same time. I didn’t know who was who, but had been told to limit the visitors to two at a time. Great, I didn’t know who the bad guys were!

Still as my workmate had now gone off to try to untangle this mess,I was left to get on with looking after the rest of the patients…I ended up spending a good 4 hours of my shift on my own trying to cater to everything my patient’s needed, as well as carry out other tasks that had to be done as part of my job…

I was starting to get a bit frazzled, as other relatives had turned up (It was still nowhere near visiting hours) demanding to know things like,where the bag was that Aunty Mabel had brought in, and why weren’t  they told their relative had a blood transfusion?(she hadn’t, Aunty Mabel told them she had for some reason). I did my best to answer their questions, but at the same time wanted to continue to try and wash the poor patients that were still waiting, and I was being distracted,

One of my ladies went off for her procedure in a wheelchair, and I was able to get on with helping the lady opposite to have her wash. As I appeared from behind the curtain, I was appalled to see a female patient from the next bay asleep in the freshly vacated bed opposite! I gently woke her up and escorted her back to her own bed, much to the amusement of the visitors!

I stuck my head in our handover room to get a quick swig of my cold coffee, and had a bit of a moan to some colleagues that were in there writing notes. However, as soon as I returned to my bay, I breezed in cheerfully and carried out with my duties. That set the tone for the rest of the shift really, getting further and further behind,and feeling frustrated because of it, Just before I finished, I had to carry out an unpleasant procedure on the patient with the relatives and the ‘Aunty Mabel.’The daughter had gone but her granddaughter waited outside whilst I did it. I explained to the patient what I was going to do and made her comfortable, and it went off without a hitch. As I came out from behind the curtain, her granddaughter said to me, ” you are such a cheerful person, I really wish all nurses were like you” …

I felt absolutely awful. I had been moaning to all and sundry every chance I got, because I had been left on my own so much, and was still washing patients after lunch, not to mention behind on all my other jobs, yet this relative had praised me for being so chirpy! Although I would never dream of being miserable in front of the patients, (they have got enough to worry about as it is) I did have a face like a smacked arse (a Miss Hap special) the rest of the time! I felt a right hypocrite!!

Episode 33: Workday Woes! — November 3, 2014

Episode 33: Workday Woes!

Isn’t it horrid going back to work after a week off?!  It’s back to the early mornings, (I know I’m up early anyway, but at least I didn’t have to BE anywhere  last week),  restricted tea breaks, (this is the killer for me, at home I drink tea all day long) plus eating my lunch at 10am (well, I already had my breakfast at 6am), and then going for hours before dinner. .. (notice how my life revolves around food and drink)?!!

To add insult to injury, I was awake extra early this morning due to hearing a loud ‘BANG’ coming from the direction of the open window. The wind had picked up during the night and coupled with the lashing rain, made for pretty horrendous weather. The feeble roller blind was no match for this rogue weather and it was billowing back and forth in the wind like a yacht in full sail. Unfortunately Mr Grump has a lot of clutter on his windowsill, and the offending noise that woke me up was the sound of his aftershave being cruelly pushed off the precipice by the out-of control blind!

So there I was at 4.30 am wide awake. I slammed the window shut with a flourish, as Mr Grump snored blissfully on, totally undisturbed by any of the noise, and resentfully got myself ready for the day ahead. I woke Mr Grump up at the more reasonable time of 6am,  and chuckled to myself as he started moaning and whining about the foul weather, and how soaked he and the dog were going to get!  Never mind he’s got a waterproof coat, and the dog loves water!

As my car failed it’s MOT and is not roadworthy until the work is completed on it (ongoing saga), Mr Grump and poor old Miss Hap had to take me to work (This went down well with both of them, having been turfed out of bed extra early to accommodate me)!

Work as usual was busy, and of course it took me all of 5 minutes to get back into the swing of things, especially as half of my patients were still there! I have to say that by the end of my shift though I was tired (poor old girl, a bit of running around and I’m knackered)!

As I was leaving the ward I checked my phone and noticed Mr Grump had texted to say he was going to be late picking me up and suggested I go and have a coffee in the canteen. Great, I just wanted to get home, but I dutifully went to the canteen and bought some crisps as well as a drink (well I didn’t know how long he was going to be , and I was starving)!! I waited 15 mins .. no word..I texted him…not ready yet.. my friend who was  working a long day comes down to pharmacy which is through the canteen…”thought you’d gone home,” She was shocked to see me in there (I never hang around usually), “Just waiting for my husband” I smiled…

Ten minutes later she comes back through… “Still here, I will be going on break soon so might see you in a min”  No Way, I thought to myself.. Another 10 mins and FINALLY he phones. At last. I go outside to wait in the car park. It is lashing down with rain.. where is he?  Everyone is lighting up outside the back door where I am standing… I really want a cigarette..My friend from earlier comes out with two others going to the secret staff smoking place (the woods). I wave as they pass me, smiling through gritted teeth..Where the HELL is Mr Grump? When the smokers return from their illicit cigarette, we all try to avoid each other’s eye, me shrugging further into my coat, hood pulled low as we have exhausted all of the pleasantries.

I now phone Mr Grump in a rage, I’ve had enough. I don’t care that he has a job to do, or that he s good enough to come and pick me up from work, and who cares that the bloody traffic is bad because of the grotty weather, and the world and his wife have got their cars out? I am HUNGRY and TIRED, and that is not a good combination, and not only that, it is only Monday!

Episode 32: Middle-Aged Madness — November 2, 2014

Episode 32: Middle-Aged Madness

Grumpy
Image Courtesy of Pixabay

Today I am feeling decidedly middle-aged! It is not something that I really want to admit (especially to myself), but I am a whisker away from the half-century milestone. I can feel it’s malevolence reaching out to me, trying to drag me over to the ‘other side’ where youth is  a forgotten memory, and old age starts to creep into every pore, ready to assert its authority over my still-protesting mind and body…..

My husband, Mr Grump, has already metamorphosed into the moany, moody old git that comes with age (if you let it, and Mr Grump embraced it wholeheartedly). Oh, how he loves to complain! Mind you,  there is something to be said for it at times,(see, I knew I was getting old)!   We once had vouchers for a free meal as he had complained bitterly about the appalling service we had received, which was matched by the atrocious food, at a local restaurant chain. Having said that, we were  a little hesitant to use them in case there was a repeat performance!

Apart from the obvious wrinkles and middle-aged spread,(fair enough not everyone has middle-aged spread, but it has decided it wants to attach itself to me, and it’s a bugger to get rid of), I find that I am (God forbid), also  starting to get a bit crabby. Where has the laid back, easy-going person that I once was gone? Why has this moody, snappy, person invaded my body and  started influencing my mind? I know I am not the best of drivers, but why does everyone else on the road have to be such an idiot? People cutting you up or driving like maniacs, I have even been known to mutter the odd ” Dick head” or worse under my breath (I’m too much of a wimp to yell it directly at someone).

I was always so quiet and shy, and although I still don’t like to draw attention to myself much, I have marched over to a neighbour’s house complaining about some misdemeanour their offspring have done to my daughter (Miss Hap), only to be utterly shown up when it transpired that she had started it!

You would have thought that having an 11-year-old daughter would keep me young, but  no! I hate it when she plays her music too loud, (now I am even turning into my mother), I also don’t understand half of what she is saying with all the ‘street talk’ or slang. or whatever it is they speak!

I find myself reminiscing about ‘when I was young’ (that’s it, I am beyond hope now) and how much better everything was back then. It’s funny how memories become distorted over the years, I’m sure I wasn’t this perfect, well-behaved little angel that my memory portrays me as being!

I am going to try to fight this middle-aged monster that wants to consume me. I’m sure I could still do a cart-wheel (if there is a large enough space and an ambulance on standby)… I still scrub up reasonably well (if I have a good few hours free and a ton of Polyfilla handy), and as for being grumpy, (well Mr Grump has got the monopoly on that, and there is no way I could compete with him), it is only because other people don’t know how to drive/behave/etc.. nothing to do with me!

Episode 31: Let’s go NaBloPoMo!! — November 1, 2014

Episode 31: Let’s go NaBloPoMo!!

I have decided to take part in  ‘NaBloPoMo’ (National blog post month)  which entails posting every day throughout the month of November. Although I have only been blogging for just over a month, I have found that I am really enjoying it!  I also love reading other people’s blogs;  there are so many interesting, talented and funny people out there, and I am thrilled to be part of this huge blogging community….

I don’t have any special talents;  I am useless at DIY (the clock in my front room is hiding a lovely gouge in the wall where I was let loose with a drill once), I am not at all arty or crafty (I do attempt sewing on a regular basis, despite the fact that most of my projects involve a lot of swearing, unpicking, wonky seams, and items that don’t quite fit properly).However, I DO love words, and making people laugh if I can…..

As we all know, life can be a struggle at times, we all get days where everything goes wrong, or we feel hopeless, or useless (I get those all the time),and there are other days where everything goes perfectly, or something has struck you as funny, and has left you with a smile on your face all day!

We all need a bit of laughter in our lives; yes, things do go wrong of course, we have all had moments where we have felt stupid or made fools of ourselves, but rather than dwell on them, cringing with embarrassment, I prefer to just write about it, and laugh at myself (or others)! If I can make someone else smile or laugh whilst reading my silliness, then so much the better!

You can expect from my blog, just the musings, ranting and silliness that makes up everyday life, which I hope most people will be able to relate to in some way, I do not lead a glamorous life, or go travelling to lots of wonderful and exotic places, nor will there be delicious recipes to tempt you, or beautiful things that I have made to inspire you, No, afraid not, (well I might post the odd pic to show off if something that I have made if it actually turns out as it is supposed to, for once)!

I will however, be writing about myself and my family, mainly Mr Grump (long-suffering husband),and  Miss Hap (beautiful, feisty, but clumsy daughter, hence the nickname). I do have a load of other family members who might make the odd appearance now and again, plus we have a beautiful little dog, who also gets a mention.

I work part-time in a very busy hospital ward, and along with my fellow nursing staff, look after 27 elderly patients, which in itself can be pretty challenging as well as rewarding at times. Occasionally funny things happen at work which I also like to write about.  In fact, I like to write about anything and everything.

So in a nutshell, that’s me and my blog. Please feel free to leave any comments, it’s always lovely to hear from people, I hope you find something here that resonates  with you, and raises a smile!

Episode 30: Halloween Hiccups! — October 31, 2014

Episode 30: Halloween Hiccups!

Ahh good old Halloween! How it has changed since I was a little girl. Back then it was a case of us terrifying each other with ghost stories, and a bit of apple bobbing if you were lucky, and if Mum was feeling extra festive, we even got a toffee apple!! No dressing up for us, and we would not have been allowed to go around ‘Trick or Treating’

For my daughter’s generation it is totally different. I have already been stockpiling sweets for the last few days as we have loads of ‘Trick or Treaters’ coming round.  I actually enjoy seeing them all in their costumes; I love the effort that has gone into some of them, and the way that the local kids all participate, as do a lot of their parents.

We live on a large square which then branches off in a big loop. so there are a lot of doors for the kids to knock on. In the past I have often gone with Miss Hap, either as part of a large group, or just me her and Mr Grump. Either way, people have been pretty generous, and Miss Hap’s Halloween bucket is normally full to the brim with all sorts of scary and sweet delights!

This morning we were all up pretty early, and i decided to crack on with putting up some decorations. Mr Grump had got himself out of it by going off to the scrap yard to get some parts for my car (it failed the MOT).He did however, kindly get out all the bits from last year, so that Me and Miss Hap could put them up.

It was not as easy as I thought it would be. Every time I opened the front door to put the decorations on it the dog would make a dash for freedom! Luckily she came back with a bit of coaxing. I then shut her in the kitchen for 2 minutes whilst I balanced precariously on a chair trying to hang something up on the little roof bit. Well the dog kicked up such a racket with her pitiful barking and yelping, that I rushed the job, and although ‘Happy Halloween’ is up over the door, it is looking a bit droopy and sorry for itself!

Anyway i managed to finish off the inside decorations without too much trouble, (or tripping over the dog who had been let out of the kitchen, but insisted on getting under our feet). Mr Grump of course came back when everything was done, but seemed impressed with it. I was mad though because I knew we had some little lights that went across the kitchen window that were shaped like bats and were different colours, but I couldn’t find them anywhere.Miss Hap by now of course had already gone out to play in the unseasonably warm weather outside, as she had done her bit helping me, plus pilfered some of the sweets out of the bowl!

I decided to get on with some other bits, and as usual there is washing to be done. As I went to get the detergent out of the kitchen cupboard, I saw the box with the bat lights in on one of the shelves. Oooh, great, I pulled the box off the shelf, but everything else cascaded downwards and landed in a heap on the kitchen floor. Bugger it, what a mess!!  Well that is Mr Grump’s domain, he puts all sorts of odds and ends in that cupboard that we neither use nor need (well excepting the lights and detergent of course). I shouted up the stairs that I had found the lights, and that by the way there was a mess on the floor.

He was crabby. He had just finished shaving his head and bathing the dog (who was running around like a mad thing shaking water all over the place)! He tidied up the mess in the kitchen then came in to sit down for a minute. I reminded him that the lights actually needed to be put up now I had found them, and for some reason he got a bit snappy and cross!

I think I’ll send him to the door tonight when the kids come, as his face would be enough to scare the pants off anyone! Having said that Miss Hap would probably gorge herself senseless on all the sweets that would be left,  as the kids would be legging it  as soon as they glimpsed old Sour Puss!!

Happy Halloween!

Couldn’t resist the pics of our dog!!

Roxy HalloweenRoxy (2)

Episode 29: Frightful Family….. — October 30, 2014

Episode 29: Frightful Family…..

In stark contrast to yesterday’s blog where I got all dressed up and no-one noticed, today I felt like the scruffiest, messiest person, (not to mention worst mother) who ever walked the earth!

This morning we all decided to go into town to pick up some more bits we needed for Halloween tomorrow. Miss Hap wanted some face paints, plus we needed to get a load more sweets for the hordes of Trick or Treaters, and some other odds and ends.

Miss Hap took her time getting ready, and eventually joined me and Mr Grump downstairs, but her long, thick hair was unbrushed and matted. I told her to brush it before we went out, but the usual palaver ensued and I ended up grabbing the Tangle Teezer and set about it myself! Half and hour later and I still hadn’t got through it. I was really mad, getting more and more hot and bothered, Miss Hap was complaining, and Mr Grump was wild as he hates waiting about when he has been ready for ages (as do I)!…

We have this performance every morning, As lovely and thick as Miss Hap’s hair is, she is unable to manage it properly herself, especially as it is halfway down her back. Granted, it does look gorgeous when it is all brushed, but for the 10 minutes that it stays knot-free, it is just not worth the hassle. I told Miss Hap that it is now time to get it cut. I was not going to keep going through this hassle day in,day out, and if she could not control it then, it was time for the chop!

Oh this did not go down well at all, but I was so cross by now that i left a two-inch section of matting in the back of her hair and we headed off out….

We got our shopping, but just out of the blue as we were about to leave Miss Hap said that perhaps she will get her hair cut after all. Before she could change her mind, we did a swift about-turn and headed for the nearest salon where there was no appointment needed. As luck would have it, we didn’t have to wait that long. There were two young stylists and only one customer, so Miss Hap was seen straight away. I explained to the young and trendy stylist, the problems we were having with my daughter’s hair and that she would like it cut. The stylist recommended a style that would be easy to manage and  shoulder length, so it wasn’t too short which suited everybody,….

However, her face soon changed when she saw the huge clump at the back of Miss Hap’s hair, and her and the other stylist exchanged appalled glances, as I cringed with embarrassment. I tried to reassure them that I did brush t everyday, but although they smiled and nodded, I knew they thought I was neglectful! “I’ll have to wash it” the stylist stated, daring me to argue with her, which of course I wasn’t, (I think she thought that she would give my poor daughter a treat as her hair had obviously never been washed before)! “That’s fine” I replied as she balefully wielded a larger Tangle Teezer through Miss Hap’s tousled mop! It was agreed that I would leave Miss Hap there whilst me and Mr Grump went for coffee at the cafe next door (he, in fact was already there having claimed his favourite table outside)!

I sat down in the sunshine that had appeared from nowhere. I explained to Mr Grump that Miss Hap was going to be about 45 mins as she was having wash, cut and blow dry, and then I was going to nip in for a quick trim afterwards.  Oh that didn’t please him at all, especially as it meant he would have to carry around all the bags plus my hoodie (I was too hot now the sun had come out) for an hour longer. “Just give me a bit and brace and a couple of saddlebags and I’m sorted” he moaned, This just made me laugh as poor packhorse Mr Grump would probably end up with a few more bags if we were to spend extra time in town…..

Anyway, we trotted around a bit more before it was time to pick up Miss Hap….she looked beautiful. Her hair looked sleek, shiny, and the length suited her perfectly. So now it was my turn. I sat in the chair in front of the mirror and recoiled at the dreadful image that faced me. Christ, do I really look that old and haggard?…My hair which was also a bit knotty (although I had brushed it) looked fried and frazzled. Although recently re-dyed, the roots looked ‘black’ as pointed out to the stylist by an ever-helpful Miss Hap, who was feeling superior now her hair had been tamed into submission.

I had not bothered to try to style my hair, nor had I put on any make-up, in fact I rarely wear it nowadays. I had painted my nails black in preparation for Halloween tomorrow, but to be honest, after looking at myself in that mirror, all I needed were a couple of Rice Krispies to stick on as warts, and I would have made the prefect old hag! The kids would be bloody terrified!

As I was not expecting to get my hair cut and Mr Grump was already crabby, I opted for a dry trim, which although looked tidier did not disguise the frizzy , candy floss appearance. I quickly paid for our haircuts, and got out of there! God knows what that hairdresser must have thought of us, what with Miss Hap’s matted,clumpy hair, (oh, and I noticed when we got home that she had been walking around with a hole in the arse of her leggings as well); my  bleached blonde disastrous locks (not sure whether I looked like an old tart or an old witch, either way, neither is very flattering); and Mr Grump, his skinny frame laden with bags, and hound-dog expression. She must have thought Halloween had come early!

Episode 28: Dressed to Impress — October 29, 2014

Episode 28: Dressed to Impress

Don’t you just hate it when you try to make an effort to look nice but nobody even notices!……

This morning dawned pretty grey and miserable; to brighten my own mood I thought I would wear something a little different from the long skirts, and trousers…I know I am approaching fifty, and perhaps carrying a little more baggage in certain areas,  than in my youth, but hey, I am not over-the-hill yet!!

After a bit of rummaging about in my wardrobes I found a short and sassy leopard print skirt…ooh I think that is just the job, Now where is that little lacy, black strappy top with the ruffles? Got it! Great. I know it is horrible out today but we’re not going out   and the heating  is on so I won’t get cold. Normally I would wear leggings with a short skirt, but today I decided to push the boat out and wear tights..(having said that, I opted for opaque ones, just in case I had to put the rubbish out or something as equally as glamorous, and I didn’t want to frighten the neighbours)!

I just had to squish my poor body into some sort of ‘shapewear’ (what kind of shape it was meant to achieve, I am not sure of, but I still looked like a sausage bursting out of its skin) and admire the finished result! My long hair was a freshly enhanced blonde (Mr Grump had dyed it for me yesterday morning, we have no secrets in this house) and i was ready to make my entrance to the admiration of Mr Grump and Miss Hap.

Unfortunately…this being reality, I had a load of washing to do as usual, so I filled my arms with the assorted garments, and went downstairs to the kitchen to shove them in the washing machine, before wowing Mr Grump  in the front room. Needless to say he was in the kitchen, which was just as well really as the strap of a bra that was sitting on top of the pile in my arms had got hooked around the kitchen door handle,halting my progress. Mr Grump. kindly unhooked it for me, as well as the clasps at the back of the bra which had somehow attached themselves to the ruffles on my top!

This was not the effect I wanted at all…Once I had viciously shoved the washing into the machine, I smoothed myself down and asked “do you like my outfit?” Quickly realising what the correct answer was he replied, “very pretty” then buggered off to get some shopping!

Oh well, I know Miss Hap will think I look nice. I know I am by no means a ‘Yummy Mummy’ but I do try to do the best with what I’ve got to work with, and that is no mean feat, I can tell you! I walked into the front room where she was sprawled on the settee and was greeted with the usual “I’m hungry, what’s for breakfast?” Not a compliment in sight!

Whilst I have been sitting here typing this, there was a knock on the door, and some big bloke was there with a huge parcel for Mr Grump. As I was grappling with the parcel, bending down to put it on the floor, I noticed an appreciative look from the delivery man as he asked for my signature….I HAVE still got it (only just)!!! 🙂

Episode 27: Smokefree but not stress free!! — October 28, 2014

Episode 27: Smokefree but not stress free!!

Things are a bit fraught in our house at the moment!…. Myself and Mr Grump have managed to give up smoking, and today we have completed the ‘Stoptober Challenge’. Twenty-eight days without a cigarette.  That probably doesn’t seem like much to most people, but I know for me, I have struggled through each minute of every day, especially the past week as I decided to get rid of the patches early so I  could be nicotine free sooner.

The fact that I am pretty clumsy at the best of times and Mr Grump is pretty… well, grumpy at the best of times does not make for a harmonious atmosphere when nerves are stretched already. . Take yesterday for example.. I went to draw the curtains in the evening, and not knowing my own strength pulled the whole bloody curtain track down! That put not only me in a temper but also Mr Grump because I asked him to fix it! He huffed and puffed but got up to do it, asking me to hold one end of the track whilst he put the other end back up. Problem was, I am pretty short, and even standing on the settee, I couldn’t hold it high enough for him. Annoyed but undaunted he started to put his end back up, but got a bit heavy-handed and snapped off one of the clips that he needed to attach the track to.

That did it! He was swearing and muttering as I stood behind him, shoulders shaking, desperately trying to hold in my laughter as I knew it would make him worse. Unfortunately I did a bit of a snort, and was busted! “Oh it’s alright for you standing there chuckling, go on, get it out of your system”, he scowled. So I did; he meanwhile continued putting the curtain track back up stony faced – in silence, There was a little bit sticking out in the middle where the broken clip was, but I said nothing… deciding to save that little repair job for another time.

I know that giving up smoking is better for us all in the long run, in so many ways. Myself and Mr Grump have struggled through a nicotine free month still in one piece, Miss Hap, Bless her is really proud of us both for sticking to it, and that in itself makes it all worthwhile….Having said that, sitting here drinking my tea I still feel there is something missing, and there is still a part of me that is saying, “right I have done the challenge now, Sod it, give me a fag!!”

Episode 26: Sulky Sunday — October 26, 2014

Episode 26: Sulky Sunday

Today has been a bit of a strange one really…a sort of hodgepodge of a day,where I can’t seem to settle to do anything!….

For a start I woke up at 5am! I know the clocks had gone back an hour and everyone loves an extra hour’s sleep, but because I always end up getting up so early it is a bit of a pain…still, I filled my time constructively,playing games on my tablet, whilst watching a bit of catchup tv!…

Mr Grump had to get up early today as well (if you call 8am on a Sunday early, I call it a lie-in)!!! He and my nephew were off to a friend’s house to do something with their roof ( God only knows what they were doing, but as it involved heights and DIY combined, I decided not to ask and just to leave them to get on with it)! At least it got Mr Grump out of my hair for a while, although I was a bit cross that he was doing odd jobs for someone else when there is a little matter of some painting that needs to be done at home still!!

Anyway after Miss Hap and I had feasted on a delicious fry up, we decided that we really ought to have a bit of a pamper session. As neither of us are able to wear nail varnish during the week normally what with school and work, we decided to make the most of having a bit of time off and out came our collection of polishes.(I only had two bottles of rather boring pink, so had to rely on my 11-year-old daughter’s rather extensive collection of nearly every colour imaginable)!

As we had such a varied choice, we decided that it would be criminal not to use as much colour as possible,so we painted each others’ toenails in five different shades, (Miss Hap rather liked the blue and painted an extra bit on one of my toes too for good measure)! I As she has only got little toenails, I managed to blob a bit of polish on each one, but we were both pleased with the results, and I decided that I would go for the lovely blue for my fingernails, (We had a bit of a disaster with that though, I thought they had dried and went to take the joint out of the oven, but where I had put my hands in the oven mitts, it had smudged a bit). Never mind, I just went over the dodgy bits and they are as good as new!

Mr Grump came home just after lunchtime unscathed, and decided that he was going to play on his Playstation (he very rarely plays on it but when he does it is usually a marathon session).  I casually mentioned that I might like to go and look at some paints this afternoon….nothing! I asked if he had a particular colour in mind for the hall etc….nope!! He did however moan at me this morning when I dared to mention how grubby the paintwork is looking, “I thought it had gone past springtime” he says huffily “Well we need to do an Autumn clean as well as a Spring one this year” I replied.

With no offers of decorating forthcoming, I decided to sulk for a bit and set about the ironing!! Of course, he wasn’t bothered about me viciously brandishing the iron about on our poor, unsuspecting clothes, steaming them into submission with a frenzy…oh, no, of course not, he was sat in front of the tv, eyes bulging, killing baddies…..Men!

I

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