- You bend down to pick something up, and not only do your knees creak more than a door that needs oiling, but you find it really difficult to get back up again!
- You are too vain to wear your glasses outside of work, but can’t read something unless you hold it up, do the sliding back and forth manoeuvre in front of your face and add in a squint for good measure.
- You still spend a lot of time in the bathroom, but it is normally because you have to get out so many times a night to go to the loo!
- High heels are no more than an inch and a half; shoes are for comfort not style!
- You snore louder than the dog, and have even woken yourself up!
- You can no longer tolerate much alcohol. The three-day hangover you now get after a couple of glasses of wine is never worth it!
- Whenever you go anywhere, you have to remember to take your medications with you!
- Forget the sexy lingerie, it is practical garments that cover the essentials properly!
- You become rather ‘set in your ways’ and get mad if someone buggers up your routine.
- If someone rings after 9pm, you are outraged that they would be calling ‘at this time of night’!
- You try to sing along to your favourite song, and realise (a) it has been remixed, mucked about with and re-released or (b) you have forgotten the words!
- You are married to a Grumpy Old Git!
Category: humour
As you may know, I have been participating in the Blogging From A-Z Challenge throughout this month. Although nervous about doing it, I have found that I have actually really enjoyed the whole experience.
I think that once I had got my theme (words) sorted out then I was well on my way. Typical of me, I hadn’t even decided on it until a few days before the event, but I was pleased with the choice.
It is surprising just how much fun you can have with words, especially the old-fashioned ones. The sound of them alone, conjures up all kinds of images, which almost write the post for you. I have noticed though that I seemed to have a kind of sub theme going as well with the words that I chose.
I think it is probably the fact that I have such a dirty mind that most of the words I chose had some kind of sexual connotations (whether they were supposed to or not)! It didn’t go unnoticed either as some of you pointed it out to me! That’s what you get after being brought up on ‘Carry On Films’ stuffed full of innuendos.
I think there are still quite a few words out there that need their time in the spotlight, so I think I will be doing some posts highlighting some more wonderful,whimsical, weird and wacky words for your entertainment.
What say you?
Welcome to the latest Free-for-all Friday. It has been quite a busy week inn one way or another, so I have not been able to read as many blogs as I would have liked!
However, I have still managed to find some fantastic posts by brilliant bloggers for you to enjoy, They are all worth a visit of course, and as usual, if you have come across any posts you would like to share, then please feel free to add a link in the comments.
The Story Shucker I have been following for quite some time now, and I never cease to be amazed at the wonderful posts on here, The stories are always so well-written, you almost feel as though you are there watching events unfold from the sidelines. The stories themselves are always moving in some way too.
Madamsabi’s Blog This is a blog that I have just started following, but it is packed full of all sorts of wonderful things. This particular story was so heart-warming, it brought tears to my eyes when I read it.
The Gluestick Mum This was a wonderful post about a kind of chain reaction to a good deed. It is surprising just how supportive and kind this wonderful blogging community we have is. Despite the fact that we are scattered all over the globe, help is never far away.
John D Eccles This post was a nice ‘blast from the past.’ I like to reminisce at times, and I just about remember the original programme, as well as a few others in a similar vein. It is nice that it will appeal to a whole new generation with its trendy makeover, but for me, in this case, the original is the best.
How The Cookie Crumbles I like a good story and really admire those that can write fiction, especially in so few words! The fact that they can even get a twist in at the end is pretty impressive as well. This is the perfect example!
The Blogging From A-Z Challenge reaches the letter ‘U’ today. This is a very happy looking letter, resembling a huge smile. It is curvy yet uniform, can be imaginative and unimaginative, a bit of contradiction is this letter, when teamed with an ‘n’ and used as a prefix! With that in mind, here is my word for today…..
Unflattering. Now I am on pretty good terms with this word; it is trying on a dress and realising that yes, my bum does look big in this. It is the state of my hair first thing in the morning, sticking up in whatever direction it chooses. This word is just under my left eye! It is swollen and puffy due to some blisters that look like cold sores that have decided they will settle themselves on my face for a while.
It is the cruel realisation that red lipstick on your teeth is not a winning look, or the harsh reality that blonde is just not your colour and adds 10 years onto your age!
I encounter unflattering on a daily basis!
We have come all the way to the letter ‘T’ in the Blogging From A-Z Challenge. This rather staunch letter, standing proud and tall. It can be titillating,trite or even topsy-turvy, all wonderful words in themselves which I had considered, but I have found one that I love the sound of even more…..here we go then, let’s have a bit of….
Tittle-tattle. This is a gloriously gossipy word; the gaggle of women giggling over the latest rumour. The “Oooh you wouldn’t believe what he told me about Sue” kind of word. It’s the salacious slandering of Sue’s character that follows, giving her credit for things she would love to have been guilty of doing.
This is the boredom-fuelled banter of people that have nothing better to do than chit-chat, and create Chinese whispers about others purely for their own entertainment, or to have a feeling of one-upmanship by knowing something nobody else does, regardless of whether of not it is the truth.
Now, I do love a bit of gossip like everyone else……now if I tell you something, you have to promise not to go tittle-tattling!
Today I was just having a ponder on the little niggles in life that drive me mad. You know the kind of thing, I am off today and yet I am not feeling very well, not to mention the fact that some strange spot thing has appeared under my eye. This has swollen the bags under my eye so that I look pretty horrendous! Anyway here are more of my little annoyances.
- Why is it that when you try to show somebody how to do something, you bugger it up regardless of how many times you have done it faultlessly before?
- Why is it that on the rare occasions we get visitors, the bloody phone doesn’t stop ringing?!
- Why do I always break a nail just when I have got them all the same length?
- Why am I the only person in the house who refills the loo roll when it runs out?
- How comes someone who looks the same build as me is two sizes smaller?
- Why is it that my dog adores Mr Grump and virtually ignores me? (Little floozie)!
- Why can’t I learn how to do fancy braids in my hair, despite watching numerous tutorials?
- Why have I got the only child that looks like she has been dragged through a hedge backwards before she even gets to school?
- Why can’t I be one of those people who eat like a bird, rather than a horse?
- Why can’t I make a sandwich without making a mess?
I suppose life would be boring if everything were perfect; it would be nice to try it for a day though!
‘ There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humour.’ Rachel Cohn
This is certainly true. when I see someone having a really good laugh, or tell a funny story, I can’t help myself laughing too.
This post was inspired by LindaGHill
The Blogging From A-Z Challenge end is getting closer and closer, but there are still a few letters left to have a bit of fun with. Today is the sexy and seductive letter ‘S.’ It has curves in all the right places and is very generously proportioned. Now, contrary to what you might think, my word today is not going to be anything suggestive at all, so there! Let me introduce you to……….
Snooty. I love the sound of this word. It really is rather haughty and aloof, looking down its rather long toffee-nose at the riff-raff it tries to disassociate from! It is the rather la-di-dah lady with the hoity-toity husband, who don’t like to ‘slum it’ with the oiks down the pub.
It is the supercilious, snobbish attitude of the stuck-up socialite, wallowing in her own self-importance! It is lofty and superior, patronizing the peasants with a pat on the head!
It does have a nice sound to it though!
A bit of good weather and the prospect of a day off tomorrow with a bit of peace and quiet us just what I need at the moment. The last couple of days have been pretty busy getting back into the swing of work and school etc.
As we have been pretty short-staffed for ages, we have finally got a couple of new staff that started this week. To ease them into the madness, they have been doing slightly different hours to the rest of us, but it is nice to see them when they turn up and of course it is wonderful to have their help.
As most of you know, I am not the most graceful of people, and one of the nurses I was working with today, calls me ‘Calamity Jane’ at times (very unkind of her, I know and not in the least justified)! Anyway we had a lovely new lady start with us yesterday who I worked briefly with, and she was in again today.
I went into the Bay where she was working to do some observations, which she was going to watch, and record for me on the handheld system. As I went over to take the patient’s blood pressure, I tripped over the power cable of the big floor buffer thing one of the domestics was using. I saw my new colleague giggle. as the domestic tried to kind of flick it out of my way which only resulted in me tripping again, as I stepped the wrong way to avoid it.
A bit later, I needed a Bair Hugger (a kind of electric heated blanket) for one of my patients who had a low temperature. There was one not needed in the bay next door where our new colleague was working. In her haste to help me, she hurried to unplug it, but caught her foot on the edge of the bed and went flying! She did a few kind of slow-motion leaps to keep her balance, which of course set me off laughing as well.
I think she and I are going to get along just fine, although I don’t know if we will be safe to work together!
Rrrrrrrrrrrr we are in our stride now with the Blogging From A-Z challenge and are racing ahead rapidly with the letter ‘R.’ This letter has a bit of everything too, its top half is rotund while the bottom reclines at an angle. I have found a lovely word for today, another of my favourites….Let’s get on with it then……
Ribald. This is a wonderful old-fashioned word, it is the bawdy, behaviour of the boozed-up bard, the coarseness of the Court Jester. This speaks to me of medieval times, where the king has got his hand up a serving wench’s skirt, or a couple of rowdy revellers have nipped off to a quiet corner for a bit of ‘slap and tickle!’
It is immodesty and impropriety, smuttiness and sleaze. The modern-day politician caught with his trousers down being flogged by a dominatrix, type of thing. It is lewd and licentious. seedy and sordid!
It is easy to see why I love this word so much!
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