After reading a post today on Inventing Real Life about whether or not a woman is ‘invisible’ once they get to the age of fifty, it got me to thinking….

I am less than a year away from the big five-o myself (sob), and I am already having mixed feelings about it. Originally I thought how lovely it would be to have a big party to celebrate the occasion. It would be a great excuse for a get-together and some cheesy music to get everyone up and dancing,

Despite my two left feet, a bit of 80s music will have me heading for the dance floor and strutting my stuff, especially if there is mostly only family there to witness my humiliating ‘moves’! This is where it comes in handy having such a large clan, it is not that difficult to fill up a function room!

Another possibility is doing a one-off event, such as a skydive, or perhaps a bungee jump, or even a hot air balloon ride This is all well and good providing you are not the biggest coward around , who can barely stand on a chair without getting dizzy at the height off the floor! No, I am a huge fail in the thrill-seeker department (well at least this kind of thrill seeking)!

Once I have decided how to actually mark the occasion, I wonder what happens then? Will I fade into obscurity? Be too old and past it for anyone to bother with any more? Left on the scrap heap, destined to be humoured as that ‘mad old aunty’ that everyone gives a wide berth to at functions! The nutter with the whiskery chin (no point in bothering with keeping myself nice anymore) and the garish clothes?

Not bloody likely! I spent a lot of time in my youth where I was so quiet and shy that I faded into the background (mostly by my own choice I admit). I was the wilting wallflower at parties, head drooped trying not to draw attention to myself. The awkward, jerky, tongue-tied girl, then young woman, blushing if anyone talked to me, or looked my way. The constant loner standing out like a sore thumb at clubs, as everyone else had gone off to dance,and being self-conscious, I would hang around trying to look invisible as I didn’t want anyone to think I was waiting to be ‘picked up!’

Anyway, I have decided that I am going to try to turn over a new leaf once I get to my fifties. I am tired of being a non-entity, the forgotten face in the crowd, the recipient of the “oh, we’ve never met” comment, despite being introduced a few weeks previously. I am going to break out of that shell that has encased me for the last fifty years and Sod what anyone thinks!

Rather than disappear, I am going to stand out in my fifties. the new confident me. So what if I still trip over everything, put my foot in it, and show myself up! That is always going to be part of who I am, so rather than cringe and try hiding away, I will endeavour to shrug my shoulders, dust myself down and laugh it all off! I am going to be fabulous at fifty!