Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 216: Mum’s The Word! — March 12, 2015

Episode 216: Mum’s The Word!

On Sunday, here in the UK it is Mother’ s Day. My Mum is quite a character and I have written about her a few times over the last six months, which is no surprise of course, seeing as she is one of the biggest influences in my life! I thought I would share a few more snippets of her wise and wonderful ways!

She is 82 years old, yet refers to both of her neighbours and others younger than her as ‘old ladies’! That always makes me laugh. How old do you have to be before you consider yourself old?

She is the worst ‘re-gifter’ in the world! I think most of the girls in my family have been on the receiving end of something we recognised giving her for a previous birthday or Christmas present!

On a similar theme. She leaves the prices on all the presents and also forgets to label them, so sometimes you open a present which you really like only to have it snatched out of your hand and told it isn’t meant for you! Or worse still, you might get a rather snazzy pair of boxer shorts, which despite most things being unisex these days, some women are not so keen on the front opening!

When you phone her up if she does actually hear it and pick it up, you can barely hear her voice over the racket of the TV. It is positively BLARING! When you go round there, you are almost sent reeling with the assault on your eardrums!

She is one of the best cooks I know! Although my Mum does not do as much baking as she used to, she still makes a damn good roast dinner. As long as you can overlook the fact that the meat might have been cooked the day before and left in the microwave overnight as she put it there to cool down as it ‘is covered’ and then forgot about it!

She has a tissue permanently up her sleeve! What is it with old ladies and their tissues? I thought it was only little kids that had permanently snotty noses, (and they never have a tissue handy preferring to wipe it on whatever is to hand). Every room you go in there will be a crumpled up tissue!

Starts a sentence with, “I don’t want to be a pain but…” and you know you are not going to like what you hear next! She has just done all of her shopping and when you go to put it away she realises that she forgot to get milk or some other necessity that you had reminded her about constantly whilst in the supermarket! Or Another one…. you are all going out somewhere, a few miles away, you are nearly there when she tells you she has ‘forgotten her purse’. You tell her it doesn’t matter but no, you have to go all the way back to get it!

Those are just a few of the little ways my mum has that drive us all mad! However, she has been there for us all at some time or another over the years, and having six children could not have been easy for her, I hope she realises that she is appreciated!

Episode 215: Chatting With The Neighbours. —

Episode 215: Chatting With The Neighbours.

Further to yesterday’s post on commenting on neighbour’s posts, today’s Blogging 101 task is to expand on it a little. We can either write a post that is inspired by the one we commented on, or we can explain why we commented on one of the posts. I am going to do a bit of both!

The blog that I will expand on from yesterday is Crickets Are Ok. The name itself made me curious as to what the blog would be like, so I had to go and see what it was about! I read a crazy post entitled ‘Hey, how are you?’ which really made me laugh.

I totally got this post! The seeing someone you haven’t seen for ages, asking them ‘how are you?2, then after you have exchanged greetings being at a loss as to what to say next! That has happened to me so many times. I am not the most socially proficient person at the best of times, In fact if there were a course entitled ‘The Art Of Smalltalk 101’ my name would be first on the list!

Thanks God for Blogging 101 is all I can say. At least no-one gets the awkward gaps in conversation,the stumbling over words, or the constant butting in and talking 10 to the dozen because I have finally felt confident enough to talk. That is why I love blogging so much. It is almost as if I have found my voice, and not only that, people are listening and even commenting! 

I looked at Krissy’s ‘about me’ page and noted that she too suffered with depression, something else we had in common. I then read another of her posts where she detailed what it felt like when she was in the throes of depression which really resonated with me. It is not an easy subject to talk about, but Krissy has managed to convey what it is like extremely well.

Anyway, the main reason I loved this blog and am now following it, is because of Krissy’s sense of humour. She too likes to try and laugh things off and see the funny side of things. It is her way of dealing with the challenges she has been given in life, and I admire her greatly for it.

Episode 214: Imitation Is The Best Form of Flattery? — March 11, 2015

Episode 214: Imitation Is The Best Form of Flattery?

Many of us have seen something advertised, or admired something that  a famous person has worn and wondered where we could get one. Now a lot of us don’t really have the budget to spend large amounts of money on the ‘designer’ version, so if we see a cheaper one we jump at it. We never learn do we?!

Now, eBay and Amazon very often have things that are similar in style to the original, but you really do have to be realistic about your expectations! For a start the materials used in the knock-off version may be a lot cheaper; fabric may be thinner and not hold its shape, or maybe it is a little more transparent than the original.

We all know that ‘you get what you pay for’. However, I did feel a bit sorry for one poor woman. She ordered a dress that was worn by an actress which was pretty revealing. Now this actress no doubt had access to stylists as well to help her look her best. The woman who bought  the dress which was advertised as ‘soft, comfortable and breathable’ could not wait for it to be delivered.

As soon as it arrived she got straight into it. Being the type of dress it was, no underwear was required as it would spoil the look, but the buyer decided that pink slippers would be a wonderful accessory to showcase the outfit to the best advantage.

She must have been thrilled with how it looked as she immediately posted some pictures of herself on the seller’s website. I admire her, she is one brave woman!

One-Liner Wednesday. —

One-Liner Wednesday.

“It will mean that you will be able to catch up with your TV programmes.”

The lamest excuse for Mr Grump sloping off to the pub for a couple of hours, earlier on today!

Inspired by Linda’s One-Liner Wednesday.

Episode 212: Love Thy Neighbours! —

Episode 212: Love Thy Neighbours!

Blogging 101 task for today is to continue being neighbourly. We are to visit four new blogs and to leave a comment on there. This is something that I like to do pretty regularly anyway as there are so many wonderful blogs yet to be discovered! Here are the ones that I have been to visit today:

Walk A Mile In My Shoes. I went over here as Stacey had very kindly visited me. I think blogging is all about sharing the love, so I checked out her blog which is really great. She not only has great taste in shoes but is a very friendly and welcoming person,

Forbidden Books Club. The name of this blog intrigued me straight away. I think we are all a little curious to know about something that is ‘forbidden’. I really liked what I saw here. I love books and always have so I am thrilled to have found this.

Nique Fornever. This blog I happened across is about a young navy wife and stay at home mum, who has followed her heart (and her husband) to live in a different country. It is her thoughts and feelings, and I thought it was something different for me to enjoy.

Crickets are Ok. This blog is very funny from the bit I have seen of it so far. I love the style of writing as well as Krissy’s sense of humour.

Those are my four blogs that I have commented on today for the first time. They are all different but all very worthwhile checking out as they each have lots to offer

Episode 211: Get it Write! — March 10, 2015

Episode 211: Get it Write!

You may remember that I wrote about that poor woman who had the eyebrow tattoos which were absolutely awful here well I have recently heard about someone else who has just had a tattoo he rather regrets!

Now most of us love a good song! Yes music can really define us, it can be the soundtrack to our lives; there is that one song that just says it all for us. When I find a song like that I will play it to death until I get sick of it and ,move on to something else.

That is not enough for some people though. Oh no! They need to go and get the name of the song, or the line or perhaps a verse tattooed permanently on their body (so they don’t forget the words when they are old perhaps). They might even go the whole hog and get the artist/band/group name etched into their skin as well, for good measure.

I have nothing at all against tattoos, I even have one (not too big, as it is too bloody painful) myself. Plus Mr Grump has quite a few, one of them, with my name on, so I do rather like them.

However, if you are going to get something as a permanent tribute to your favourite song by your favourite band then for Christ’s sake, get it right! Check that the tattooist has understood exactly what you want otherwise you could end up with one like the poor guy on my picture!

I prefer Slack Babbath myself!

Episode 210: Sitting On The Sidelines. —

Episode 210: Sitting On The Sidelines.

Isn’t it funny how you present yourself to others, or actually how they perceive you. A change of  clothes or even a hair colour can give off totally different impressions. Our ward at work has been chosen for some research work to be carried out. A few of us staff are part of the project, and on occasion, we have been asked to carry out some observations. Today I was going to going to be interviewed by the researcher before we did ours.

In order to disassociate myself from being ‘at work’ I changed out of my uniform and left my hair down. Now I was ‘in civvies ‘ I would be able to sit quietly observing, without anyone distracting me. Not much chance of that…

As soon as I trotted onto the ward in my kitten heels, it felt weird. A few of the staff didn’t recognise me either! Anyway, I got myself settled into a chair ready to write my findings. I found it strange ignoring the buzzers, and not getting involved in anything, I did have a relative come over to  ask me some questions about his mother and instead of going to find out myself, I directed him to someone else.

When we had finished, myself and the researcher went to a ‘quiet’ area of the ward to talk over our findings. She also commented on the dress that I was wearing. (It was actually one I had made myself that only has a few mistakes)!  She complimented me on my ‘interesting choice of fabric’. Oh yes, it was black with white skull and crossbones all over it. Just the sort of appropriate garment to wear on a ward full of frail, elderly people!

Episode 208: Raising Eyebrows! — March 9, 2015

Episode 208: Raising Eyebrows!

Sometimes it is hard work being a woman, you want to look your best as much as you can, especially when you are young. The first thing most people normally notice is your face and therefore it is important to give the right impression……

I know what a pain it is to pluck my eyebrows, All that eye watering, not to mention the pain when you accidentally tweeze a small chunk out of your skin, and are left with a nice little mark. Worse still is if you decide to get them ‘waxed’ or ‘threaded’ professionally.

Although the end result is usually worth it, the actual process is bloody painful. (Yes I am a wimp)! Out of the two threading was, for me, the worst! To add insult to injury (in both cases) I was left with swollen and bright red eyes (although perfectly shaped brows) for about 15 mins!

Anyway, one young woman decided that she didn’t want t o keep going through the pain and hassle of constantly grooming her brows, so she decided to do something about it! She went to a local salon to get her brows tattooed for the knock-down price of £100.

She did still have her old ones in place when the works was carried out as a kind of guide to where the tattoo should go. However, the ‘beautician’ (I use that term very loosely) decided to ignore that and raise the bar a bit!

Once the natural brows had been shaved off, the poor recipient was left looking rather surprised (well so would you if your eyebrows were as high as hers were, There was simply no choice)!

She has spent quite a lot of money to try and get them covered over to no avail. This poor woman can’t seem to get rid of them. not only that, she still has to constantly shave off her natural brows as if she leaves them to grow, she appears to have four eyebrows which is  little bit creepy.

Two years on and she has grown her natural eyebrows back, However,  the tattoos are still there just carefully concealed by makeup. I don’t think I will mind too much plucking my brows after reading this!

Episode 207: It’s All About Me!!! —

Episode 207: It’s All About Me!!!

Well today is all about me! As if you haven’t had enough of me already, my task for Blogging 101 today is to have an ‘irresistible About Me page.’ Hmmm, i have already messed about with my ‘About Me’ page, having updated it several times. I think for now I might just leave it alone. However, if I get a load of feedback telling me that it is rubbish then I will try to tweak it a bit. I know it is all about selling ourselves but I am very aware that ‘you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear!’

I think my ‘About Me’ page pretty much sums me up. I am someone who feels that we all need a bi of laughter in our lives. It can get pretty tough sometimes, pressures put upon us, high expectations that might be difficult to live up to, plus the normal ups and downs of everyday life. We just need to take a step back, sometimes and try to see the funny side of things.

That doesn’t mean bursting out laughing at inopportune moments (not recommended, I have been on the end of may a dirty look for this crime), no, it just means reflecting back on a situation, and instead of cringing at some stupid thing you said or did, just laugh about it. After all, there is nothing you can do about it, so instead of stewing on it, make fun of it, or yourself!

I am not one to want to draw attention to myself, but being the way I am it happens. I have been at work walking back to my ward after coming out of the loos only to be told,

“You’ve got your dress tucked into your knickers!” Nice!  Cringe, red face, look around to see who saw, frantically try to remember what knickers I have on  and have been showing to all and sundry, are they decent ones? (chances are they will be ”work’ ones)! Why do people have to shout these kind of things out after you thereby alerting everyone to your plight? Honestly!

So, I have decided that laughing about things really is the best way to deal with it, None of us are perfect, some of us are less so,especially me, BUT I do have one saving grace. I love words and telling little anecdotes and stories. what a perfect combination. I can and do write about all my little ‘episodes’ in my blog. Sometimes I even drag my family into it. (Mostly with their permission)!

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