Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

#SillySaturday: The Shells in Lockdown — May 9, 2020

#SillySaturday: The Shells in Lockdown

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

This week we discover that the Shells have had to find a new way to stay in touch due to the lockdown.

Coronavirus has hit Shelbyville

None of the residents wanted to get ill

It was with some resistance

They had to social distance

Yet they found they could communicate still!

 

All of them had the Zoom App installed

So during lockdown they wouldn’t feel ignored

They could chat every day

Sing songs, dance and play

No chance of them getting bored!

 

At 9 every day it’s keep fit

With the Aliens it’s become quite a hit

With their yoga and gym

They keep themselves trim

They are not the type to just sit!

 

Maggie and Shelma miss going to town

All the shops they love have closed down

But the girls are not stopping

They now do internet shopping

They’re the most glamourous Shelbys around!

 

Sandy misses Shelma whom he dated

His love for her is unabated

He keeps the romance blooming

With lots of daily Zooming

Most of it is very X-Rated!

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#SillySunday Cool Penelope PomPom — July 7, 2019

#SillySunday Cool Penelope PomPom

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

Yesterday you met Penelope Pompom who was suffering as a result of the menopause. Today after chilling out at the beach with her friends and family she is a little more chilled… Why not check our #SillySaturday post about Shelma and Maggie some of our Shelby friends!

Image courtesy of Sandra Dorey

Penelope Pompom was cool

She didn’t like following the rules

She still wanted to be naughty

Despite being past forty

And just loved acting the fool

***

She kept herself looking good

The envy of the Mums in the hood

With her spiky green hair

And bright pink outerwear

She worked it like nobody could!

***

Her kids just thought her the best

She could twerk and floss with the rest

Their friends would come running

When they saw Penny coming

She would always make them less stressed.

***

#SillySaturday Penelope Pompom — July 6, 2019

#SillySaturday Penelope Pompom

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

Here we introduce you to a new character that Daffy has so cleverly created. Meet Penelope Pompom. Why not check our #SillySaturday post about Shelma and Maggie some of our Shelby friends!

Image courtesy of Sandra Dorey

Once Penny had hit middle age

She found it hard to engage

Finding lumps in her custard

Or a ham sandwich without mustard

would sent her off in a rage!

***

Penny once sweet and so calm

Now caused her family alarm

Being so spiky and sour

Miserable and dour

Her twins thought she’s cause them some harm

***

Off to the doctor to find out the cause

Of Penelope’s new character flaws

The hot flushes and stress

Weight gain and night sweats

The symptoms must be menopause!

***

Penny felt cut to the quick

No wonder she always felt sick

Always crabby and tearful

Het up and fearful

This menopause was like a cruel trick

***

She took the kids out for the day

Off down Shelbyville way

The sand and the sea

And her friends’ company

Kept her bad temper at bay!

#Sillysaturday Mrs Moss and Lichen — February 16, 2019

#Sillysaturday Mrs Moss and Lichen

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

Here are a couple of new characters for your enjoyment that Daffy has so cleverly created. Meet Mrs Moss and Lichen. Why not check our #SillySaturday post about Shelma and Maggie some of our Shelby friends!

Mrs Moss was up with the lark

Taking Lichen her dog to the park

They walked everywhere

To get lots of fresh air

And didn’t get home til ‘twas dark!

Mossie was a sturdy old stick

Very rarely did she get sick

At seventy years old

Fit, adventurous and bold

She can even still do a high kick!

Out and about every day

Visiting places and pals on the way

She was going to tea

With the Shelbys by the sea

And was buying some cake on the way.

Image courtesy of Sandra Dorey
#Sillysaturday Randy Reindeer — December 8, 2018

#Sillysaturday Randy Reindeer

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

We haven’t done a Silly Saturday for a while, but I couldn’t resist joining in when Daffy showed me this brilliant photo….

Randy was now in disgrace

At Christmas he got ‘off his face’

Whilst pulling Santa’s sleigh

He went the wrong way

He was lurching all over the place

He’d been partaking of too many beers

Which isn’t good for reindeers

Turning up for work plastered

Could only lead to disaster

As it affected the way that he steers

He is hoping to go back to work

He promised that he will no longer shirk

With his lopsided antler

He can expect plenty of banter

As he looks a bit of a berk!

Image courtesy of Sandra Dorey
#Sillysaturday Health Petra the Pear — September 1, 2018

#Sillysaturday Health Petra the Pear

pear with rotten teeth!
Image courtesy of Sandra Dorey

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

This week’s Silly Saturday is all about a poorly pear named Petra. After several comments about Tom the tomato possibly being a good example to use to encourage people to look after their teeth, we thought it would be fun to introduce a couple of #SillySaturday Health posts. Although there is still the usual silliness you can expect from us both, there is also a serious side too. Anyway, please let us know what you think of this idea.

Petra the pear was feeling poorly  

She didn’t know quite what to do

Not only was she putting some weight on

But she was suffering from toothache too!

She had started to let her self go a bit

Indulging in too many treats

The sugary snacks made her teeth hurt

Causing trouble whenever she eats!

For too many years she’d been smoking

Which caused her teeth to go brown

Her gums receding and bleeding

It was time to turn things around.

She wanted her life to be fruitful

And continue her family tree

But she had to make sure she was healthy

And in the best shape she could be

First stop was to the doctors

To get help with giving up smoking

The harm it was causing her body

Was both sobering and thought-provoking

As if heart disease and strokes weren’t enough

It could cause breathing problems as well

Tooth loss, fertility problems and cancer

Not to mention the horrible smell

She decided to go for the patches

And started the very next day

She found that her nicotine cravings

Were slowly melting away.

Next stop was to the dentists

To see if something could brighten her smile

Because her teeth were so neglected

It was going to take a little while

It was not just about brushing and flossing

That Petra had neglected to do

But her sugary addiction

Had helped in her tooth decay too

Th dentist took some impressions

And gave Petra’s mouth a good clean

She was advised not just to clean the outside

But all around, underneath and between.

It was too late for poor Petra

To save some of the teeth that she had

She had to make some appointments

To remove the ones that were bad

Several months later and Petra is glowing

Her smile now so fresh and so bright

She cleans her teeth like an expert

Even the ones she takes out at night!

Images Courtesy of Sandra Dorey

#Sillysaturday Tom the Toothless Tomato! — August 18, 2018

#Sillysaturday Tom the Toothless Tomato!

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

This week’s Silly Saturday is all about a poor tomato named Tom. Daffy thought it reminded her of a fantastic poem by one of my idols Pam Ayres which is called ‘Oh, I wish I looked after me teeth’ which you can see here.

I have tried to capture the flavour of Pam’s poem in the one I wrote this week. When you read it, you will need to imagine a good old West Country accent!!!

Tom wished he’d looked after his teeth

And not neglected to brush underneath

Too many times he’d forgotten

And now they were rotten

Oh, how Tom wished he’d looked after his teeth!

He used to be proud of his smile

His teeth were the whitest for miles

But now it’s not funny

That he’s ended up gummy

It really is cramping his style

When younger, Tom was so green   

Unaware of the dangers unseen

He thought his teeth would stay white

Much to the ladies’ delight                                                   

Despite his poor dental hygiene!

Now, to smile makes him blush

Exposing his mouth full of mush

It makes him so sad

He mourns the teeth that he had

How deeply his pride has been crushed!

Tom wants to look for romance   

But not while his teeth are so scant

Beyond his patch, he won’t venture

Until he gets his new dentures

He fancies a set of implants!

Image courtesy of Sandra Dorey
#Sillysaturday Birdy and Sid — July 28, 2018

#Sillysaturday Birdy and Sid

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

We haven’t done a Silly Saturday for a while, but I couldn’t resist joining in when Daffy showed me her latest brilliant creation. Birdy McBirdFace.

Birdy had such a handsome face

In flight, he was elegance and grace

As he rested on the beach

He heard a loud screech

Sid Seagull flicked sand in his face.

Sid was loud and uncouth

And strutted with the arrogance of youth

Swinging his hips

And gorging on chips

He teased Birdy for being long in the tooth!

Image courtesy of Sandra Dorey

Birdy challenged Sid to a race

The seagull laughed in his face

With my youth and my size

I’ll easily take first prize

But his boasting was sadly misplaced!

As Birdy flew high in the sky

Sid regretted pecking that meat pie

With all the chips and the bread

He felt as heavy as lead

He couldn’t leave the ground if he tried!

Birdy was not one to boast

He won doing what he loved most

Flying along with the breeze

Above the crystal blue seas

He loved his life on the coast.

#Sillysaturday Lady Garden — April 21, 2018

#Sillysaturday Lady Garden

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

Daffy has been a bit naughty this week, and of course, I need no encouragement. We hope that our fun offering this week tickles your fancy!

When it comes to tending the garden

It is purely a matter of taste

Preening and pruning the foliage

Will stop you from feeling disgraced!

Image courtesy of Sandr Dorey

With a bit of trimming and strimming 

You can create a real work of art

Perhaps a Bermuda triangle

Or maybe a cutesy love heart?

Feeling a little more daring?

How about a smart landing strip?

Or maybe just take the lot off

So, your pubes won’t get caught in your zip?

Something a little more special

Like a blingy, sparkly vajazzle

That’s sure to tart up the topiary

And give it that old razzle-dazzle!

However  you keep the lawn tidy

You mustn’t leave it too late

Don’t let it get too unruly

Or no one will enter the gate!

#Sillysaturday Boobs — April 14, 2018

#Sillysaturday Boobs

Silly Saturday is back!

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

Here is a real treat for you this week. Daffy has made a brilliant pebble art pic, can you guess what they are?

Some are baggy and saggy

Some are perky and pert

Some are tiny little gnat bites

Some so big that they hurt!

Some are flabby and floppy

Some are bouncy double Ds

Some are wrinkled and crinkled

Some hang down to the knees!

Some are always kept covered

Some are all over YouTube

Have you guessed what these are yet?

Yes! A nice pair of boobs!

****

If you enjoyed my poem, you may like to vote for my blog here in the Funniest Blog category. Daffy’s blog is also nominated for Most Informative (original content) Blogger which you can vote for using the same link. Check out all the other nominees too! 🙂

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