Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Farewell to Tuesday Tidbit — September 22, 2015

Farewell to Tuesday Tidbit

For the last couple of months I have been partaking in writing a Tuesday Tidbit post. I first came across this via two of my blogging friends Rob from The V Pub and Erika 

It was great fun thinking up all sorts of naughtiness and also seeing what the others came up with as well. Ritu and Rich were also on board, and that is how our little Tidbit family was formed.

Anyway, from out of the blue today, Rob has decided that he is closing his blog for good. I am shocked and upset that he has reached this decision,  and don’t really feel like writing a Tidbit post for tomorrow.

I am going to put those on hold for now (don’t worry there is always enough smut and innuendo in my other posts anyway) as it won’t be the same without Rob.

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Episode 497: Tuesday Tidbit: Sexting (18+) — September 15, 2015

Episode 497: Tuesday Tidbit: Sexting (18+)

I’m not very good at this sexting

Just not cut out for it at all

For a start I write everything longhand

It would be quicker just to give me a call!

When asked “what are you wearing?”

I reply, “How kind of you to ask”

Just my scruffy old leggings

Instead of a sexy black basque.

I know I need to talk dirty

To get my man in the mood

But my parents’ strict upbringing

Has taught me those words are too rude!

The texts I’m receiving get hotter

Oh Christ, think of something to say

“Yes. I’m massaging my boobs as you asked me

And by the way, how is your day?”

Oh, that’s it. I’m rubbish at this game

I think I just might push my luck

And cut straight to the action

And ask if he fancies a …

Nope! Still can’t do it!

Episode 487: Tuesday Tidbit. Sex Drives…From a Screech and a Roar to A Cough and a Sputter! (18+) — September 8, 2015

Episode 487: Tuesday Tidbit. Sex Drives…From a Screech and a Roar to A Cough and a Sputter! (18+)

For the Tuesday Tidbit this week I thought I would have a light-hearted look at  how the sex drive changes over the years.

The teenage boy is usually  desperate to have sex and tries his hardest to find someone that will sleep with him. When this fails, it is not unknown for them to have a stash  of adult mags, under the bed to ahem, pore over!

The teenage girl, however, does not know how to deal with her raging hormones, She does not want to risk sleeping with someone who isn’t in love with her, only  to be dumped and have them blab and brag about it to all and sundry, causing her huge embarrassment. No, she will stamp and stomp around the house bursting into tears at the slightest provocation.

Both sexes in their twenties are usually raring to go when it comes to sex. They think they invented the Karma Sutra and are at it constantly several times per day, anywhere and everywhere they can. Forget eating and sleeping sex really is ‘the food of love’ at this stage.

During the thirties, things can slow down a little, especially for women, and particularly if they have young children. Tiredness can be a real passion killer, as can little uninvited visitors to the bedroom in the middle of the night. Men are more willing to risk it, but are often rebuffed, or end up with a little person wedged in the middle of the bed, which curtails any further sexy thoughts!

The forties and fifties. Women can very often reach their sexual peak during their 40s and 50s. more so if the kids are grown up! This is where the men very often slacken off due to ill health, or perhaps pressures of work. Things are starting to die down now and those all night sexual marathons are distant memories, replaced by perfunctory monthly couplings. This is where the women can feel rather let down and frustrated. However, for some that are going through ‘the change’, they are more than happy to lay off the sex for a while as they don’t need anything else to make them feel hot and sweaty!

The Sixties and beyond. This is a time when the menopause is usually finished, and some people are more relaxed due to having more time on their hands having retired from work. This is also when things can really go downhill for some men, Help is at hand, though, (or rather somewhere else), and there are those little blue pills that might be able to perk up the love life.

Now I know why they like to be called ‘recycled teenagers!’

Episode 388: Tidbit Tuesday: New Love 18+ — June 23, 2015

Episode 388: Tidbit Tuesday: New Love 18+

I have decided to have a go at ‘Tidbit Tuesday’ after enjoying reading posts by Randy Rob and Erotic Erika! As I am a virgin at this, I will need breaking in gently! I am not sure yet how far I am going to go, let’s see what happens.

This is about  finally getting to be with someone, after wanting them for a long time!

New Love

Flirty looks from lowered lashes

Music plays soft and low

A glass of wine to ease the tension

Things are going nice and slow

A kiss that started out so gentle

Deepens as the passion starts

Stroking hands and soft caresses

Mingling breath and beating hearts

Groans of pleasure, ever louder

As he gently moves inside

Now the tempo is getting faster

Yearning cannot be denied

Thrusting, probing, arching, moaning

The dance of love is at its height

Clenching, screaming, sighing, sated

This is love that feels just right.

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