Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Don’t You Just Hate it When?….13 Niggles That Wind Me Up! — March 27, 2018

Don’t You Just Hate it When?….13 Niggles That Wind Me Up!

We all have those moments in life. You know, the little niggles that serve no purpose other than to make your day just that little more frustrating. Here are some of the things that really wind me up……

  • You have taken ages styling and straightening your hair (or have just been to the hairdressers) then get caught in a rainstorm (with no brolly)!
  • You get an unexpected cash windfall – then your car breaks down and is going to cost a fortune to repair. Those shoes will have to wait.
  • It’s taken ages to get off to sleep, but just as you feel yourself slipping off, you have a desperate urge to go to the loo.
  • You have spent ages cleaning the bathroom, and someone wants to have a bath.
  • You’re excited about the perfect gift you have bought for someone’s birthday – and find out someone else has bought it as well.
  • You save up for ages to buy something expensive, only to find it is in the sale a few days later!
  • You are invited to a friend’s house, and knock coffee all over her pristine carpet.
  • Your other half has mixed the loads in the washing machine again. Grey bras are not attractive!
  • You are desperate to go to the loo when you get to work, then realise there is no loo roll AFTER you have already been!
  • You realise you can’t walk in those gorgeous high heels that you just bought.
  • You go to use your best mascara only to find your daughter has been ‘practicing her make-up skills’ with it, and there is none left,
  • You go to read an old favourite book, only to remember you loaned it to someone ages ago!
  • You start to write a blog post and run out of ideas half-way through!!

What little niggles wind you up?

Wacky Word Wednesday — February 24, 2016

Wacky Word Wednesday

Image courtesy of Wikia.com

Wow,  it is Wednesday already! This must mean that it is time for me to dig out a wonderful, weird or just plain wacky word to have some fun with. This week’s word is actually a regular part of my vocabulary. Although it has quite a humorous sound to it, this word pretty much describes teenagers, or tweens, or kids, or husbands…pretty much everybody at times!

Stroppy. Oh, this is an obstinate and obstreperous word; moaning and moody, as well as cantankerous and crabby. The bad-tempered and sheer bloody-minded nature of this word can result in tears and tantrums, or possibly even fights and fisticuffs!

It is the sulky and sullen expression of the troubled teenager, the grumpy and grouchy face of the harassed husband, and the annoyed and angry face of the wife. Wait a minute, that sounds like a typical Martin family outing!!!


Accidents Will Happen! — October 30, 2015

Accidents Will Happen!

As we were all off today, we decided to go into town for a while to have a wander around the shops. Needless to say, Miss Hap wanted to go into one of the shops that is popular with teenagers to look for some jeans. The ones she wanted to try on were black skinny ones with deliberate slashes across the knees.

They fitted her perfectly,  but I was not happy lashing out money on trousers that were already bloody ripped (yes I know I am an old fuddy-duddy), so I said that if we found some that had intact knees we would buy them. As ‘luck’ would have it, we did but they were a slightly different style being high waisted ones.

Miss Hap was a little disgruntled, but I reminded her that she should be grateful and that I could always take them back! Anyway, her feet were now hurting as she had insisted on wearing some trainers that were too small! This child has many pairs of trainers but once she gets something into her head it is very heard to remove it.

The inevitable strop followed and I decided it was time to leave town altogether, especially as Mr Grump’s scowl got bigger as her tantrum got louder! We had to call in at the supermarket on the way home to get a couple of bits and Miss Hap decided she was too crippled by the trainers to come in and would stay in the car as we wouldn’t be long.

Both myself and Mr Grump felt a bit frazzled and I was desperate to go to the loo, so we hot footed  it into the supermarket to get on with it. As we walked in together I told him I was just going to nip to the toilets and he went to buy me some stamps at the kiosk. I walked off but called out to him to make sure he had some cash. He stopped dead to check his pockets and got rammed by an old woman unable to stop her trolley at such short notice.

Being as he is so slight, he was sent flying forward stumbling a little, trying to stay upright. I saw all of this as I turned back and was doubled over laughing my head off (not a great idea when bursting for the loo). what made it funnier was despite the fact the lady had apologised to Mr Grump for knocking him flying, she gave him (or maybe it was me), a filthy look, tutted and stomped off!

I rather quickly took off as well to get to my destination before any other accidents occurred, in a much better mood!

Oh and the sodding jeans didn’t fit Miss Hap when we got home either!

Image courtesy of Pixabay 

When Things Go Wrong. — September 25, 2015

When Things Go Wrong.

You may remember that a couple of weeks ago I conducted a poll for Writing 101, which asked what type of blog posts you would prefer me to write. Here are the results:

  1. Posts about things going wrong  13 votes
  2. Posts about my family                 11 votes
  3. Something else of your choosing  3 votes
  4. Other                                             3 votes.

I am happy that you have chosen when things go wrong as your winner, as being clumsy, normally gives me a blog post or two to write about.  So, for Writing 101 ‘Take a cue from your readers’ post today, I thought I would share this story with you, that happened at work today.

The morning at work had been pretty busy as was normal, and of course, staff were thin on the ground as is also normal. I had decided to try to get some notes done after lunch, as I was due to go home in just over an hour, and I wanted to leave my colleague as little as possible to do. (Most of the staff on the ward prefer the 12 1/2 hour shifts, but I like the ‘short’ 7 1/2 hour ones).

I had even managed to make a coffee and was sitting at the table in the handover room, where there was a student and a Sister who was signing off some competencies for her.

Suddenly though, there was a commotion outside the room. A new patient that had arrived on the ward just previously was getting rather agitated and was threatening to whack a male nurse with his wooden walking stick! A female care assistant was trying to calm him down but he was swinging the stick around his head trying to lash out at whoever came near him.

The male nurse managed to get past him and into the room where I was writing the notes. Suddenly a stick came through the door and a loud THWACK sounded as he clouted the counter top just missing some of the cups that were there. Myself and the Sister jumped up and tied to get the stick off of him. We did manage to grab it but he was kicking at us and had more strength than we bargained for. We got the stick off of him and avoided the punches that he was dishing out (although the Sister got licked a couple of times) and I rushed to call security.

I went back into the room, as the patient was now sat down and chatting with the Care Assistant. Going to grab a much-needed swig of coffee, I hamfistedly ended up knocking the large mug of undrunk coffee all over the table. It went everywhere. The student’s notes were soaked through, as was everything else on the table, including the tortilla chips that a relative had brought in for us! Ooops, another day in paradise!

An Open Letter to Patient’s Relatives. — September 20, 2015

An Open Letter to Patient’s Relatives.

Dear Patients’ Relatives

We are pretty flexible when it comes to visiting hours;  3pm until 8pm every day is pretty generous, especially as we also allow visiting outside of these hours for many other circumstances. This enables most of you time to spend with your loved ones.

We do ask you to remember however, that we appreciate how special your relative is to you, but so is every other patient on the ward. Sometimes we have to prioritize, and yes, we will plump your mum’s pillow up for her, but please, just let us deal with this patient first who is hemorrhaging.

We know your father might have told you that he hasn’t eaten today, but before you berate us loudly in front of everyone, let me show you his food chart, where you can see that he ate all of his porridge for breakfast and had a roast beef dinner for lunch, not to mention rhubarb crumble for pudding! You know he has short-term memory problems and often forgets, so please just check with us.

Oh, I know your nan has just had an ‘accident.’ I am just going to get some of our toiletries and a hospital gown as it seems that no-one has brought any in for her. Yes, we do have a small supply, but we tend to save these for those that don’t have any visitors or family to look out for them.

I understand that you want to help and in so many cases you do, especially when you encourage your relatives to eat, which they are more likely to do for you than us. Please be careful though that you do not give other patients some chocolate or sweets, as you may unintentionally cause them some problems, particularly if they are diabetic and are being carefully monitored, or if they have swallowing difficulties and need a special diet, or are even nil by mouth.

We love to see our patients happy and enjoying their time with you. All we ask is that, if there is something troubling you, please come and speak to us, before yelling. We are doing our best you know, and all patients are as important to us, as your relative is to you. sometimes, especially, when we are so very understaffed, we have to prioritize our care,so please have a little patience…

Keep Calm!

From The Nursing Staff


Episode 470: Ronovan’s Writes Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt #59. Bird and Red — August 24, 2015
Episode 395: Mr Grump’s Computer Rage! — June 27, 2015

Episode 395: Mr Grump’s Computer Rage!

Mr Grump doesn’t usually work on Fridays, so for him the weekend starts after work on Thursday afternoon. He quite often has a beer or five, and then the inevitable music comes on. As we like the same kind of music (and Miss Hap was brought up on it), it is enjoyed by us all.

Now back in the good old days, we had CD players, record players, ghetto blasters etc, but now we have various music channels (too many adverts though interrupting the flow), and the trusty PC, the Jack of all trades.

Now Mr Grump had painstakingly burned disc after disc of his favourite tracks onto the PC, and had built up a huge library of entertainment which he is particularly proud of. When anyone comes round for a party he will flick through his many and varied tunes to set the mood, and if it is just us here, he will play all his old favourites.

Not this Thursday night though. He decided the computer was too slow, so it must have a virus and would need to be restored. Needless to say, I had to go and do it, which I did. Still not right, so we decided to restore it from the backup discs we had previously created. I did that for him (reluctantly now as I was getting fed up).

All I could hear was heavy sighing, cursing and swearing after it had set up, it appears he had forgotten his password for his e-mail which he used to just sign into automatically, and God forbid, could not get into his library of music! I was cross by now so went to bed as I had work the next day.

Yesterday evening. He picked me up from work as he does on a Friday and then went off to meet a friend for a ‘quick pint’ at the local pub. My younger sister was coming round to help me colour my hair, and we decided to fire up the barbie for dinner.

My sister and brother-in-law arrived with their labrador, hungry and short of time, (in fact my BIL had to perform at a gig a short time later and had to leave in about half an hour).  Mr Grump turned up, a few mins later and got the food on the go.

As he couldn’t play his music, the TV (plus extra loud speakers he had connected to it) blasted out the vintage years selections at ear-splitting volume whilst we sat eating our food, vibrating with the bass!

Luckily for Miss Hap she had a school disco to go to, and BIL dropped her off on his way leaving just the three of us, My sister did my hair, whilst Mr Grump fiddled about on the PC trying to get some thing to work, anything to work! He was locked out of Facebook as well as he couldn’t remember his password. Luckily I knew it so at least he could get on there!

When My sister left, Mr Grump was nagging me to help him again. I asked for another e-mail address to send recovery details to, he couldn’t remember the password for that one either and gave mine! Meanwhile the PC ‘wasn’t letting him do anything at all now’ so he gave up dejected and we went to bed.

This morning I set the bloody thing back to factory settings! I guessed the password combination for the other e-mail and got him back into everything. Of course his musical library will have to be built up again from scratch!

Thank God I am working tomorrow. (I never usually say that when I have to work on a Sunday)!

Episode 378: #BeWoW Post: Dealing With Regrets. — June 17, 2015

Episode 378: #BeWoW Post: Dealing With Regrets.

For Ronovan’s BeWoW post this week, he has suggested the rather thought-provoking topic of regrets, and how we deal with them.

Well, God knows where to start with this one, as I have spent the larger part of my life fretting over things I have done, mistakes that I have made and how I have regretted my actions. In fact, it wasn’t until last year, when I had been going to Counselling for a while that I even realised quite how bad it had become.

I have always been a people pleaser and hate it when I think I have upset or offended someone. It reached quite a crescendo last year when I was having trouble sleeping at night. I would be re-running conversations in my head that I had been involved in during the day, then would criticize myself for the stupid or cringeworthy things I had said, thus making me stay awake fretting about how people must think I am stupid.

I would also look back over my life and wish that I had done something differently; too many marriages, too much drinking (when I was younger), not watching my weight (or rather, watching it get heavier and heavier), smoking (I gave up after 30 years last October) and really not bothering in school (I hated it, so did not study properly).

However, as far as regrets over my lifestyle choices went, I have tried to put right the wrongs of the past, and hope that my body is forgiving. Educationally, I did go back to it and gain a few more qualifications that I am proud to have achieved. The marriages, well, I went into all of them willingly, and thought each one was going to last forever, but life had its own agenda for me! I did have my gorgeous daughter with my 2nd husband so how can that ever be something that I regret?!

Lastly, the incessant late night berating sessions, these have got much less now. My counsellor explained that I should stop living in the past (regurgitating conversations etc), as that was finished and cannot be changed, and to start living in the present. I had never really thought of it like that before, but that is so true.

I do still get mad at myself when I have been a prat and said something silly, but I try to convince myself to get over it, and move on!

Episode 325: Ice, Ice Baby! — May 12, 2015

Episode 325: Ice, Ice Baby!

Now I am pretty lucky that Mr Grump is rather handy in the DIY department, and will tackle most jobs.However, I am the worst person in the world to have around when things like that have to be done, as I get really stressed out about the mess and the hassle! Added to that the fact that I am not feeling so good at the moment, means that tempers might be a bit fraught if there are any jobs that Mr Grump wants to get done.

My niece has recently moved and we have bought her lovely huge fridge freezer as it is unfortunately too big. It is not quite a year old and has a water and ice facility that has so far never been used as it was never plumbed in. Mr Grump decided straight away that he would be able to do that, and ordered metres of thin pipe needed for the connection as well as some other bits.

After a lot of maneuvering of stuff that was in the way in our kitchen, the new fridge freezer was in place and work was due to commence on Saturday morning which I was dreading! In order to connect it to the nearest water pipe he was going to drill a hole through the kitchen into the downstairs loo, cut the pipe near the sink and fit a new connection.

I got out of the way! After the most horrendous loud drilling that went right through me, and shattered my already frayed nerves, there was a load of banging about, a bit of cursing and then he said he had done it.

Wow, that was quicker than I had expected. He said he was going to turn the water supply back on and that was it. Great. I waited in anticipation. Psssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that was a funny noise, but I didn’t move off of the sofa. Mr Grump went to investigate in the kitchen, and yes the water was connected to the pipe but was pouring all over the floor. I think he had missed the bit about connecting that bit of pipe to the bloody thing itself!

I left him to clean up the mess (with my nice tea cloths and kitchen towels Grrrrr), and went online to find the online manual that shows how to connect up the other bit. Anyway, he did manage to sort it out, and I was called out into the kitchen for a ceremonial glass of water from the tap on the new fridge.

It took him quite a bit longer to suss out how to make the ice, but he did it and was feeling pretty pleased with himself. Miss Hap decided she needed to try it for herself and I could hear the humming noise it made but no ice came out. Mr Grump went back to fiddle with it, and made some more.

Later that night just before bed Mr Grump got me a glass of water from the fridge this time to take up with me as I usually do. He asked me if I wanted ice (I didn’t), I thought I would humour him and let him show off so I said yes.

Humming noise, no ice; humming noise, no ice! He opened the door, and I pointed out to him that he should not have put the over on the ice making bit, it was to be stored separately if ice was being used. He crossly told me that he hadn’t put it there (he had)!

Anyway, he put the glass of water under the ice tap and a whole load of ice cubes came flying out of the compartment and all over the floor. That didn’t please him at all. He picked all the ice up, raging and moaning whilst I stood there, shoulders shaking trying not to laugh. He then stomped off to bed leaving me to get my own ice. Really!

Episode 318: Wacky Word Wednesday! — May 6, 2015

Episode 318: Wacky Word Wednesday!

As I am now lamenting the end of the Blogging From A-Z Challenge and the fun I had finding words that appealed to me, I have decided that I will do a post on a Wednesday highlighting a weird, wacky or wonderful word. I am kicking off with a great-sounding word today……..

Cantankerous. This word is the crabby and crotchety, crusty and cross old codger that likes to moan and whinge about everything. He is grumpy and grouchy, miserable and morose. His ill-tempered and irritable demeanour makes him snappy and sour.

Or what about the sullen and short-tempered child, cranky and quarrelsome, who will not be pacified?  They are prickly and petulant, obstinate and onery, not to mention fractious and  downright foul!

A bit like me when I get hungry really!

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