Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 340: What A Plonker! — May 23, 2015

Episode 340: What A Plonker!

I had to laugh at a bit of news I just stumbled across. A guy had left his bike chained up to a pole for a while only to find it missing when he returned. Enraged at the dishonesty of people he decided that he would leave a note outlining his displeasure! He thought he would throw in a bit of advice as well to the perpetrator,suggesting they might like to return the bike with a new lock and ‘re-evaluate your life choices.’

Someone had written a note under the original, addressing the bike owner as ‘Bozo’ and pointed out to him that perhaps the city authorities might know the whereabouts of the bike. The reason for this was that the bike was illegally chained to a handicap pole. The author of this note also suggested that perhaps it had been removed as it may impede a vehicle that requires wheelchair access.

Bloody idiot!

Episode 147: On Your Bike! — February 6, 2015

Episode 147: On Your Bike!

I admire cyclists; anybody that can manage to keep themselves upright for an unlimited amount of time, whilst balancing on two (very skinny) wheels has my respect. I can actually ride one myself, but when I (rarely) venture out on my bike, I end up pushing it more than riding it, as I am a bit wobbly! Mr Grump and Miss Hap usually end up whizzing past me, leaving me behind.

Anyway, there is one particular cyclist in Britain at the moment, that has made a bit of a name (not to mention reputation) for himself. He is a bus driver for a living, but commutes to work (40 mile round trip) on his bike. The reason he is so different from the norm? He loves to report other road users to the Police if they misbehave.

This guy takes his self-imposed role very seriously indeed, and has kitted himself out with no less than 3 video cameras (wonder where he puts them all)? and a really LOUD horn (I would imagine that in itself could cause an accident if he sets it off,  making people jump and losing concentration).

He films wrong-doers abusing the Highway Code, and dobs them in to the Police. There are no second chances. If you are in the wrong lane and then cut someone up, (especially him), your card is marked; if you go the wrong way around a roundabout (God knows why you would want to), you will be reported. Oh yes, this bloke is on a mission. He will also very kindly plaster his footage all over YouTube so that your antics can be judged by other outraged road users.

He is proud of the fact that he has managed to help convict over 70 careless motorists, but like with everything there is a small price to pay, he is now dubbed ‘Britain’s Most Hated Cyclist. If that wasn’t bad enough, he is so well-known that drivers that come across him, will throw a few punches his way regardless of whether or not they have been captured on his camera for some misdemeanor,

He is not bothered though and is more determined than ever to tackle Britain’s rubbish road users and bring them to justice!

I’m bloody glad he doesn’t live near me!

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