Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Rain, Rain, Go Away, It’s Supposed to be Summer! — June 1, 2018

Rain, Rain, Go Away, It’s Supposed to be Summer!

It is probably no surprise that I am writing about the weather again, as I have done here but this torrential rain that we are having at the moment is rather getting on my nerves!

I know I am obsessed with the weather

But really it can be such a pain

One minute it’s so hot and stifling

The next it is lashing with rain.

The sky can change in an instant

From a beautiful and calming deep blue

To an angry dark looking monster

Belching out thunder and lightning bolts too!

Ear-splitting, eye-popping drama

A month’s worth of rain in one day

Floods causing chaos and destruction

It’s about time the rain went away!

It causes me quite a dilemma

As I want to be suitably dressed

If I’m attired in a summery outfit

And get soaked I won’t be impressed!

New Easter Outfits — April 4, 2018

New Easter Outfits

At Easter I don’t usually buy my daughter much chocolate, I usually end up buying her clothes, a new outfit or some pyjamas. Now that he is nearly 15  I tend to give her some money to get something as of course, being a mum I have no idea about fashion and God forbid that I should dare to give her anything handmade!

However, as you know, I love making little outfits for my great nieces and I thought Easter was the perfect time to make some more. As they are so young, they don’t complain that the styles may not be ‘designer’ or the latest trend. I have also found it very therapeutic and it a strange way it helps me to relax (despite all the swearing and tantrum throwing when I have to unpick something I have put together upside down or inside out)!

Having a bit of time on my hands before I start back at Uni, I have knocked up a few little bits for them for summer (assuming we get any).

Easter outfits
Roxy is Helping out Ani — December 16, 2017

Roxy is Helping out Ani

Sue and Ani have very kindly shared Roxy’s letter to Santa this year which is to help Ani out of a predicament, (Namely to stop Sue form dressing her up for Christmas).

I am sorry that I am so late sharing it here on my blog, I am so far behind, but please comment on the original over at Sue’s place. Thanks 🙂

 

via Ani’s Advent Invitation: Roxy’s letter to Santa

You Know You Are Past It When…… — October 20, 2017

You Know You Are Past It When……

  • You forgot what you did yesterday, and it wasn’t due to an over-indulgence of alcohol!”] I like to keep a diary which I have done for years. The problem is when I go to write it up; sometimes I forget what I have done and had to try to work my way backwards to jog my memory!
  • Instead of having a bit of ‘afternoon delight’ you end up nodding off! You know the scene, you have got the house to yourselves, a good couple of hours of uninterrupted time alone to do whatever you want, so you fall asleep on the settee!
  • The only time you wear something ‘trendy’, it is accidental. You are at that stage now where comfort is a must; forget fashion, you want practical! So when you do put on something that is trendy, it is more likely that after 20 years it is finally back in fashion!
  • You still talk about ‘records’,’discos’ and ‘going to the pictures’. Most of the youth of today do not know what a record is, and have never had the pleasure of listening to their favourite song jumping about all over the place where the record had become scratched or warped! Kids don’t go to discos (unless it is the school disco for some reason), they go to clubs (well at least I think so as I am way old to frequent such places)!  I still talk about ‘going to the pictures to see a film.’ No, that is old hat. It is called a MOVIE. Pah!
  • You type out a text message in full. Now I am pretty ‘with it’ I know an emoticon when I see one, and I can even do a smiley face. However, I do not understand all this shorthand typing the young favour when sending a text. Even worse is the lack of punctuation!
  • You are getting ready to go to bed when the young are just getting ready to go out for the night! You know what it’s like you got up early, work was busy, by the end of the day you are shattered, and end up in bed no later than 10 pm! Now for young people, the night is just getting started at 10 pm. They have had a few drinks, and are raring to go, ready to have a good time. When you are getting up early the next morning (another sign of being past-it), they are just falling into their beds!
  • Your daughter tells you that her friends’ parents are all in their 30s and are so much more fun and laid back, you are the age of their fuddy-duddy grandparents with your practical clothes and sensible shoes designed for comfort rather than fashion.
  • You are always reminiscing about the ‘old days’! Yes, things were so much better back then, of course. Life was rosy, and we never got bored; just a stick and a bit of string and we were happy! Music was so much better, summers that much warmer and felt that they lasted longer. The problem is, your kids have heard it all before and are not impressed.
Just Jot It January 12th – Skulls. — January 12, 2016

Just Jot It January 12th – Skulls.

What an unusual word choice for Linda’s Just Jot it January prompt today! Now, funnily enough, I do like a skull! I know that might sound a bit macabre but there are plenty of designs out there that feature skulls and can even look quite pretty. As you can see below, this is quite cute. I actually broke the inside of it so my tablet kept falling out (thank God I didn’t break it). I was at a patient’s house and he admired it (he was the one that showed me his toenails that he kept after they had been removed) so I told him he could have it when I got a new one!

My Tablet
My old tablet case for work

I also have a dress that I made with skull fabric which I thought was quite nice and Miss Hap looks so cute in hers with matching bandana! I have a skull hairclip as well actually!

Skull dress

A skull can give away so much about a person too. A few months ago, I took a Future Learn course ‘Identifying the Dead’ which was extremely interesting. If you are into forensics, it is a fascinating course that has penty of interaction, and was actually great fun too!

New Sensation — January 3, 2016

New Sensation

80's Photo

 

I came across the Daily Posts Prompt for today which was to write about fashions that you love, and from what era they come from.

I am sure most of you know by now that I love the 80’s! Now, I actually like the music from that era, but at the time, I embraced the whole lot. The clothes, and the hair styles, I even tried the make-up too, but I have never been skilled in that department, and the 80s makeup called for a lot of colour and a few hours to spare!!

The one thing I have always loved (and still do) is a bit of sparkle. If it has glitter and/or sequins then I am going to love it. At Christmas in particular, I would probably end up looking more garish than the Christmas tree fairy! As you can see from the photo, I was decked out in top to toe gold! The long, pleated skirt and best top were made of this kind of smooth, slippery material. My hair was the result of a failed ‘spiral perm’ that was popular in the day, and the colour seemed to match perfectly to my outfit!

I seem to remember wearing a lot of shiny dresses in the 80s of bright, vivid colours, banana yellow being a particular favourite. There was a lot of variety around at the time, as I also used to love my frilly shirts, jeans and pixie boots. The jeans had red piping down the side, and we used to have these canvas belts of all colours that we would wear too.

Of course, there were ‘ra-ra’ skirts too. although I did have one of these I was not too keen as they didn’t seem to flatter anyone, and certainly made me look pretty dumpy.

Although my school was pretty strict, especially with regards to uniform, I did manage to get away with wearing a pair of grey corduroy trousers that I I had taken in to make them even more of a ‘drainpipe’ style than they already were. Other than that I wore a pencil skirt, but me being me, got told off for ripping the split that was in the back of it even higher. (I never was ladylike,  always running up stairs two at a time, with no thought for the confines of the skirt! More sewing when the teachers noticed and I got told off.

Looking back, some of the fashions seem so ridiculous now, but at the time I was in my element!

 

Episode 392: 7 Not So Good Things About The Summer! — June 25, 2015

Episode 392: 7 Not So Good Things About The Summer!

  1. Flies and wasps! These little sods get everywhere and anywhere buzzing about, dropping into drinks and dive bombing food, if you are not careful.
  2. Curdled milk. What is it with people (especially at work of all places), leaving milk out of the fridge so that it goes like cheese after a little while!
  3. Neighbours who think they are bloody Bruno Mars! Honestly with the windows and doors open and the close proximity of all the houses where I live, every sound can be heard, so when Mr Mars next door starts wailing at the top of his out of tune voice, it is not a pleasant experience. I would love it if he could sing as it is far better than his shouting his head off that we normally get!
  4. White clothes. Now I love all my white outfits despite the fact that white is not always the best colour for the more voluptuous woman to wear. However, being as clumsy as I am, they are normally filthy within a couple of hours where I have at on something or knocked something onto myself!
  5. Sleepless nights. Yes I get enough of those as it is, without the stifling hot air that hangs heavy in my bedroom, despite all windows being open. Having the fan on does not always help as it makes such a bloody racket which is very distracting!
  6. Bad hair days. My hair has a mind of its own and does not want to conform to any sort of style, but in the summer I have one look only, the sweaty, plastered to the head kind of arrangement!
  7. Sand everywhere. I have always been a bit fussy about this, even as a child! I hated being covered in clumps of sand after getting out of the sea, where it had stuck to me. I never wanted to eat the picnics Mum got out of the cool box as inevitably sand would have got into the sandwiches! That CRUNCH as I bit into it made me feel

What annoys you about the summer?

Check It Out! Guest Post by Linda Bethea. — June 4, 2015

Check It Out! Guest Post by Linda Bethea.

The very lovely and talented Linda from Nutsrock and I have decided to take over each other’s blogs, and write a guest post each. Now if for some reason you have never visited Linda’s blog then you are well and truly missing out. Her gift for storytelling is unique and has me laughing my head off at times, and being very moved at others, She has a horde of crazy family members that make appearances in her posts for your delight and entertainment.

Linda and I both share a nursing background and we have written stories about a ‘normal day at the office’ for your amusement. So without further ado, here is Linda’s tale.

A big part of nursing is taking care of the “whole” patient, so when my patient asked if I had some clothes I could give her, the first thing I did was ask, ”Why?”

            “My house burned and I don’t even have anything to wear home. I lost everything.  ”

            “Oh, that’s awful.  Of course, I’ll bring you some things.  I’ll call the social worker so she can help you out, too.”

            I went through my closet after work and found several pairs of pants, shirts and a couple of dresses, enough to get her started.  I bought a six-pack of granny-panties, some sports bras, socks, and shoes, since I had checked her sizes and took them to her the next day.  She was so relieved to have some clothes for when she went home.

            Meanwhile, the social worker had collected several items of her own called the Red Cross.  That’s when things went weird.  The Red Cross contacted the outpatient dialysis center who knew the patient well, only to find out that this had happened before.  The lady appeared perfectly oriented, but under stress, became confused, recalling a disturbing time in the past when she’d lost everything in a house fire.  By the time it was all said and done, between me and the social worker, she made quite a haul!

 

Episode 256. Bursting Out All Over! — March 27, 2015

Episode 256. Bursting Out All Over!

Although I absolutely hate the colour of my work uniform, (it is the same grotty grey that you get when you put black and white items  together on a hot wash) I am at least grateful that I don’t have to worry what I have to wear each day.

I have worked in offices in the past and it was always a challenge to come up with a different outfit every day, that was suitable for the office, and for the weather. I always like to try to look smart even if I never manage classy or elegant that I wish I was!

Anyway, myself and Mr Grump decided to nip into town today to have a mooch about, plus there were a couple of things we wanted to get. I told him that I was ‘just going to look in the window’ of the hairdressers I usually frequent to see if they were busy.

As luck would have it they weren’t. That is pretty rare so I asked the if they could fit me in for a quick trim as my fringe had grown right out and my hair was looking a bit tatty! There were two stylists working, one young dark-haired woman and an older woman with blonde hair, she was the one that ushered me off to do my hair.

As she was snipping away and chatting, I kind of turned to the side to reply, and almost got a faceful of boob! She was not a small woman, but I think the top she was wearing might have shrunk or something, as I was confronted by what looked like two shelled hard-boiled eggs (only about 5 times the size) spilling out of two giant egg-cups, thinly covered by a scrap of black lycra masquerading as a t-shirt!

Mr Grump then bowled in and started moaning because I was mid haircut and he thought I would be ages. The shop phone went off and another girl appeared from upstairs, also in a low-cut number, boobs jiggling about as she descended each stair. Mr Grump’s eyes were popping out of his head! He had already clocked the woman doing my hair, and now he was treated to this other spectacle as well.

He decided to hang around for a bit longer, but i was almost done anyway. As we came out of the shop, he said with what he hoped conveyed disapproval,

“Every time you go in there those girls have got their t**s out!”  So that’s why he always comes in looking for me when he knows exactly where I have gone!

Hmmmm, isn’t it about time that hairdressers wore a uniform?!

Episode 225: Off Colour! — March 16, 2015

Episode 225: Off Colour!

That’s it, it’s official, Mr Grump is banned from doing the washing! It appears that he is unable to distinguish ‘light’ from ‘dark’ colours, and my fancy underwear has suffered as a result!

Due to the fact that I come home from work with an assortment of ‘germs’, (we have only just cleared the Norovirus from the Ward), we usually put our washing on a reasonably hot wash, hopefully killing off any malingerers!

I usually try to put the loads on myself in order that they are properly sorted out thereby reducing the chances of  colours running into each other. However, this weekend being Mother’s Day, I took the day off from the mundane chores. Big mistake!

Mr Grump’s strategy us to just put the entire contents of the washing bin in the machine on a 60 degree wash and see what happens! He has a penchant for living dangerously as far as my clothes are concerned, as this has happened before (always to my stuff I notice)!

Anyway, I had a really busy day at work today and came home tired. I noticed he had done the ironing which I was pleased about as I needed another dress for work tomorrow. Then I noticed. My lovely new underwear. I have only worn it a couple of times. It was a lovely light blue colour. It is now a grotty grey colour. I am bloody cross!

Actually, he is dropping me off at work tomorrow. Good. As he has the car, he can go into town and buy me some more. Well. at least I will gain something from it!

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