Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 26: Sulky Sunday — October 26, 2014

Episode 26: Sulky Sunday

Today has been a bit of a strange one really…a sort of hodgepodge of a day,where I can’t seem to settle to do anything!….

For a start I woke up at 5am! I know the clocks had gone back an hour and everyone loves an extra hour’s sleep, but because I always end up getting up so early it is a bit of a pain…still, I filled my time constructively,playing games on my tablet, whilst watching a bit of catchup tv!…

Mr Grump had to get up early today as well (if you call 8am on a Sunday early, I call it a lie-in)!!! He and my nephew were off to a friend’s house to do something with their roof ( God only knows what they were doing, but as it involved heights and DIY combined, I decided not to ask and just to leave them to get on with it)! At least it got Mr Grump out of my hair for a while, although I was a bit cross that he was doing odd jobs for someone else when there is a little matter of some painting that needs to be done at home still!!

Anyway after Miss Hap and I had feasted on a delicious fry up, we decided that we really ought to have a bit of a pamper session. As neither of us are able to wear nail varnish during the week normally what with school and work, we decided to make the most of having a bit of time off and out came our collection of polishes.(I only had two bottles of rather boring pink, so had to rely on my 11-year-old daughter’s rather extensive collection of nearly every colour imaginable)!

As we had such a varied choice, we decided that it would be criminal not to use as much colour as possible,so we painted each others’ toenails in five different shades, (Miss Hap rather liked the blue and painted an extra bit on one of my toes too for good measure)! I As she has only got little toenails, I managed to blob a bit of polish on each one, but we were both pleased with the results, and I decided that I would go for the lovely blue for my fingernails, (We had a bit of a disaster with that though, I thought they had dried and went to take the joint out of the oven, but where I had put my hands in the oven mitts, it had smudged a bit). Never mind, I just went over the dodgy bits and they are as good as new!

Mr Grump came home just after lunchtime unscathed, and decided that he was going to play on his Playstation (he very rarely plays on it but when he does it is usually a marathon session).  I casually mentioned that I might like to go and look at some paints this afternoon….nothing! I asked if he had a particular colour in mind for the hall etc….nope!! He did however moan at me this morning when I dared to mention how grubby the paintwork is looking, “I thought it had gone past springtime” he says huffily “Well we need to do an Autumn clean as well as a Spring one this year” I replied.

With no offers of decorating forthcoming, I decided to sulk for a bit and set about the ironing!! Of course, he wasn’t bothered about me viciously brandishing the iron about on our poor, unsuspecting clothes, steaming them into submission with a frenzy…oh, no, of course not, he was sat in front of the tv, eyes bulging, killing baddies…..Men!

I

Episode 24: Me and My Girl… — October 22, 2014

Episode 24: Me and My Girl…

Kids…don’t you just love’ em!! Ever since I was quire young I always wanted to have children, and at one point I wanted to become a Nanny and look after them. However life works out in its own sweet way, and I never did become a nanny, plus  I was 37 years old before I finally had my beautiful daughter…

Being one of six children myself, and with most of my siblings being older than me, they started to have their children when I was a teenager. I thought this was great, and I would always volunteer to babysit whenever I could. I loved playing games with the little ones, and spending time with them, looking after them.

I thought that by the time I was a Mum,  I would have loads of experience from looking after various nephews and nieces, and that I would be very capable and calm!

I was panicking like mad, almost as soon as I became pregnant! I signed up to one of those online subscriptions that gave a daily update on how the baby was developing, and I would read any pregnancy book I could get my hands on so that I knew what to expect,,,however there were a few humps along the way to get over first that were not really mentioned in the glossy mags I read,,,,,,

The first hurdle was being told that as I was an ‘older mum’, my age coupled with some test results meant that I may have a child that has Down’s Syndrome, I did have the amniocentesis done as advised, but that was not a pleasant experience. The size of that needle they pushed into my stomach!! Ohh it made my eyes water, but everything was ok, and I also found out by choice early on that i was having a girl, which was so exciting. One more hurdle of gestational diabetes to get over,.. that was also a bit of a nuisance as I ended up having to inject myself with insulin, but again, in the grand scheme of things, it was ok, as at least my baby was healthy which was the main thing.

My two sisters were with me when my daughter was born, and she came screaming into the world to the dulcet tones of Tom Jones singing ‘It’s Not unusual’ (I wanted something a bit upbeat for her to be born to)! Anyway…I was now finally a MUM. My dream had come true, and here was my precious little bundle, (Actually the first night I heard this crying and wished that the other mothers in the ward would see to their poor baby, when actually it was MY baby that was crying). It took a little while for me to get used to the fact that yes, I was supposed to take care of her every need!!!

I was living with my mother and step-father when I took  her home from hospital, for the first few weeks, which was lucky for me as I had my mum on hand to give me advice.. However when she was 10 weeks old, we moved into our own house and for the next few years it was just me and her.

I really didn’t know how hard it was going to be, looking after a baby, getting into routines etc. I bought a food processor, and lovingly made delicious meals from scratch which I pulverized for her when she went onto solids…only for her to spit it out in disgust! I was determined that she would sleep in her own room, and managed to get her into a routine, although I had of course got it wrong!! She would go to bed every evening at 5.30pm, but would get up every morning at 4.30 am. Try as I might I could not get her out of this habit for ages! Plus, once she was awake that was it, she would have this strange habit of getting onto her back and kicking her legs against the wall in a kind of ‘cycling’ motion (bearing in mind that our walls are paper-thin and I have neighbours either side, I would imagine that they did not really enjoy their early morning wakeup call, I know I didn’t)!!

The terrible twos were a joy! I lost count of the fully fledged tantrums in the town centre, being the focus of many a filthy look from disgusted passers-by as my daughter screamed herself into a frenzy! I also loved the struggle i had to get her into the bloody car seat (Oh how I hated that thing)!  She would go as stiff as a board, and refuse to bend in the middle so it was rather an art to finally get her in and strapped in, However, 2 minutes down the road and she got herself out of it and would get out, so I would have to quickly pull over and start the process again! Oh yes, car seats and safety gates were just a minor annoyance that temporarily stopped her as she had figured out how open the gates as well!!

I was really sad when it came time for my daughter to start primary  school, but as I mentioned in a previous post, she was the child that tried to escape and was given a high vis top to wear so that she was easy to spot in the playground.The fact that she has Asperger’s as well, has caused the odd awkward moment, as she will say whatever she thinks regardless of how other people might be affected by it,….

I remember taking her to a local Garden centre as they were doing a club for young children to encourage them to take an interest in nature and growing things etc. As we were queueing up to register,there were other children who were in front of us giving in their names. my daughter felt that she had to comment on ‘what a stupid name’ they had, to my mortification, and their mother’s fury! I have tried teaching her tact, but she just doesn’t get it!

She has an opinion and everyone is entitled to it!!  At times it can be very amusing, like tonight, as her hair was soaked and knotty after having washed it, I told her to give it a good brushing, but she complained that why should she as it will have to be brushed again tomorrow, she also doesn’t understand why she should have to do homework either for school, as she has already had ‘a hard day’. She thought she could get away with using Google Translator for her French homework, but got busted by the teacher, who was not impressed as it wasn’t even accurate!

She is certainly so much more grown up than I was at 11, and probably gets away with a hell of a lot more than I dared to  at her age, but for all the challenges we face together, I am very proud of my beautiful, and feisty little madam, and know that I am very blessed.

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