Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Growing Old Disgracefully. — October 22, 2017

Growing Old Disgracefully.

I have been pretty negative about the process of aging recently, as you can see here and how I am starting to feel (not to mention look) old. I have decided that there must be some positives to being older, and here are a few things that I have noticed….

You can say what you ‘bloody well like’, in the words of my 85-year-old mother! Yes, once you reach a ripe old age you have earned the right to say what you like about anything; regardless of whether or not it causes offence or hurts anyone’s feelings. I have been in the supermarket with Mum when she has told the assistant on the deli counter that she ‘doesn’t want that plastic ham’ or she’s ‘not paying that much for a bit of cheese’ etc. They can’t decide whether or not she is joking but soon get the message when she turns on her heel and just stomps (well hobbles nowadays unfortunately) off! I. or my sisters (whoever has the pleasure of being with her)  are left cringing in her wake, rolling our eyes at the bewildered assistant.

She likes to say what she thinks about members of the family too. Either directly, once she told me that a trouser suit I had bought would look better on my sister as ‘she has got the figure for it’. Very true, but I was gutted, and never wore it again! Or indirectly, as in when someone has left the room and before they are even out of earshot she will remark about how much weight they have ‘piled on’ or how awful their outfit is!

Another advantage is selective hearing. This can come in very handy when you don’t want to do something. For example, my Mum hates putting her heating on, and would rather sit there shivering under a blanket than be nice and cosy in a warm room. So when any of us walk in to her little icebox, the conversation goes something like this.

“Why haven’t you got your heating on?”

“What?”

” I SAID, WHY HAVEN’T YOU GOT YOUR HEATING ON?”

“I cant’ hear a bloody word you are saying!”

Leaning over and bellowing in her ear,

“WHY IS THE HEATING NOT ON?!”

” Can you put my hearing aid in, it’s over there?”

By now, I have lost the will to go on, but will dutifully get the hearing aid which is whistling and shrieking, and put it in for her, and then just go and turn the heating on myself. It’s easier.

However, if I had whispered to my sister a bit of gossip about someone, she would have heard that and put her two penn’orth in!

When you are older, and supposedly wiser, you are an asset to any quiz team! There are always questions about the old days. Games like Trivial Pursuit and other question based games normally require a good range of general knowledge, and of historical events.It stands to reason that n older person on the team is a bonus (providing they have their hearing aids in, of course)!

You can dress with abandon, wearing whatever you like in whatever colour combinations you choose when you are older. Who cares about being colour co-ordinated any more. Many elderly people I have encountered (which amounts to quite a few), are very  uninhibited in their dress sense. Why shouldn’t you wear reds, green and blues ALL at the same time! Who gives a toss about what others think?!!

You can nod off at the drop of a hat. Think Grandpa Simpson here, and his amazing ability to fall asleep, even mid-sentence! Yes, when you are older,nobody thinks it odd if you fall asleep at inappropriate times. How great is that? If you have a social function that you are obligated to go to but are not keen, it doesn’t matter! You can just have a snooze whenever you want and no-one will think you are rude. Far from it, they will probably think you are very sweet and endearing!

Those are just a few of the benefits I have come up with to being older…. are there any I have missed?

Episode 494: What a mix-up! — September 13, 2015

Episode 494: What a mix-up!

Having always been a little bit absent-minded, I am used to getting things muddled up, however, as I get older, I have noticed that it happens quite a bit more frequently than I would like!

It can be pretty annoying as I find myself walking into a room then forgetting why I was going there, recounting a story only to get distracted, then completely forgetting what I was going to say next, or even putting down the phone after taking a message, then struggling to remember what that message actually was!

I know that this does happen to all of us, but it is so embarrassing at times. We have a lot of students come onto our ward, some staying for a couple of weeks, some for a couple of months. I very often see them around the hospital, and it is always lovely when I notice the change of uniform to Staff Nurse, or on some occasions Sister. The problem I have is when some of them stop and chat with me, calling me by name, and I have completely forgotten theirs! Worse, if I am with someone else and they ask me who I was talking to!

Has anybody else gone to put the bread in the fridge or the milk in the bread bin? I am always doing stuff like that, but normally realise at the last minute, when I suddenly ‘snap out’ of the daze that I seem to be in!

I notice I have even done it with my blog! Finding unanswered messages, I could have sworn were not there before, discovering that people I thought had gone quiet with their own blogs were actually still posting, it was just that I had somehow unfollowed them (I think WordPress has got some naughty little Gremlins playing with my head here though).

I had even scheduled a post that I wrote yesterday to be ‘live’ today, that was actually 5 days early! I had convinced myself that today was the right day.

I was hoping that  I would become ‘older and wiser’ but it looks like I am going straight from ‘absent-minded’ to ‘eccentric!’

Blogging From A-Z Challenge: ‘E’ — April 6, 2015

Blogging From A-Z Challenge: ‘E’

As it is nearly Easter, it would have been so handy to have chosen that word for my Blogging from A-Z Challenge post. However, there is a much better word that I think suits me perfectly.

Let me present to you my word, eccentric. This word is the mad professor, blowing up things in his shed as he perfects his inventions;  the crazy old girl who trots about in multi-coloured clothes and unruly hair, who has about 100 cats!

What about the elderly gent that still likes to wear a top hat and tails whilst doing his weekly shopping? Maybe he lives next door to a rosy-cheeked grandma that has a load of dollies that she treats as her children, dressing them up and holding tea parties for them.

It is peculiar in its nuttiness, unconventional and odd. It is what I aspire to be when I get old.

Yes, eccentric seems to be mainly applied to the ‘more mature’ person. Presumably. it takes time to perfect the art.

I am working on it!

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