Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 320: A Shock Result! — May 8, 2015

Episode 320: A Shock Result!

Now the Election is over

I am feeling rather bereft

Apart from the Prime Minister

All of the other main leaders have left!

What a shock the results were

Poor old Lib Dems lost out

UKIP didn’t do a lot better

And Labour suffered a rout!

So Cleggy got his comeuppance

For going back on his word

UKIP’s voters were useless

And Labour’s chances absurd!

The Scots all put their foot down

And voted for their own SNP

Nicola Sturgeon is happy

To win every seat there, bar three

So British Politics are changing

At the moment only one thing is clear

That Dave Cameron is running the country

For the others it’s all ended in tears!

Episode 319: Who Will Win?… Take Your Pick! — May 7, 2015

Episode 319: Who Will Win?… Take Your Pick!

As it is the General Election today, where we can decide who is going to govern our country for the next five years, the politicians have done all they can now to convince us to vote for them. I have already voted, preferring to do mine by post, and I await the results with anticipation that the party I voted for will be successful.

In the meantime, I thought it would be a bit of fun, if I gave you my personal opinions on the main contenders. I am not going to go into their policies or anything like that as that is not what my blog is about. No, I am going to describe what impression I get of their personalities.

David Cameron – Conservative. Ah good old Dave. He is the ex-public schoolboy who likes to think he is a ‘man of the people.’  Recently he invited a news reporter into his kitchen at home where he was awkwardly chopping up veg for a salad. He had assembled his long-suffering family around the dinner table, so it all looked very cosy. 

I do think he tries hard, but he doesn’t seem to get it quite right, Bless him. He has had a series of blunders and cock ups that don’t help. Last year whilst out visiting a pub with his family, he ended up leaving his daughter behind!; he has also left a bright red ministerial box on a train complete with key in the lock; he has admitted he doesn’t even know how much a loaf of bread costs as he uses a bread maker at home. It does make you wonder how he can run the country when he has such a bad memory!

Ed Milliband – Labour. Ed has been referred to as ‘Mr Weird’ but to me he is a bit of a non-entity. He does not seem to speak with any conviction and when challenged, has been lost for words on occasion. Added to that, he does seem to be very awkward and accident prone.

Now, I am clumsy I know, but I am not trying to inspire confidence in people, and convince them that am capable of running our country, Last week during a live debate, poor old Ed looked a bit uncomfortable, then right at the end, managed to trip over the stage. Another time for some reason he thought it would be a great idea to munch on a bacon sandwich complete with ketchup, Needless to say the press were there and he got in a hell of a mess with it! Can we trust him to run the country without breaking it?!

Nick Clegg – Liberal Democrat  As affable as he is, Nick is always going to be 2nd best. I can’t ever see him as Prime Minister, not for his want of trying though. He was pretty happy to ‘get into bed’ with the Conservatives and would have no qualms about doing the same with Labour.

He has also got into a bit of bother by going back on his promises. All in all, Nick comes across to me as a bit of a tart. He doesn’t care who he goes with as long as there is something in it for him. I am not sure where his loyalty would lie if he ran the country.

Nigel Farrage – UKIP  Nige is a kind of ‘salt of the earth’ type bloke. He likes a cig and a pint, and whenever you see him. he seems to be in the pub. He gives the impression of not taking life too seriously, cracking jokes, pulling faces and acting the fool. However, he too has dropped a few clangers.

He has said that he does not like it when people speak in foreign languages on trains despite his wife and children speaking German! Plus he thinks breastfeeding mothers should ‘sit in a corner’ and not make it too obvious. Mostly Nigel has had to try to defend his fellow members as they have dropped him in it many times, with their remarks that he had tried to defend, only to make matters worse!  I wonder what would happen if he were to run the country!

Episode 311: Standoffs and Scuffles As Election Fever Heats Up! — May 2, 2015

Episode 311: Standoffs and Scuffles As Election Fever Heats Up!

Miss Hap wanted to go into town today as she was pretty fortunate in getting some money for her birthday. We still had one of her friends with us from last night’ s sleepover, and off we all headed off.

As is the norm, we headed straight for Starbucks when we got there, which was packed, as it was mid-morning. The girls went in to get the drinks whilst myself and Mr Grump tried to find a table outside. We ended up sharing a table with a young woman as it was so busy. The girls of course, did not want to be seen with us so they sat inside.

Directly opposite us, a few feet away, UKIP (United Kingdom Independence Party) had set up a small stall. As we are voting in the General Election in less than a week. some of the candidates are still trying to persuade as many people as they can to vote for them.

They had a load of balloons tied to their stall, leaflets to give to the public, and cardboard placards with information on for those that were interested. Their actual candidate wore a rumpled  cream suit, and there were a couple of older women there giving out leaflets to passers-by. An old man hunched over, and a rather heavy-set middle-aged man were also milling about.

I didn’t really pay that much attention to them as I talked to Mr Grump, but a couple of ‘bangs’ had me looking over in that direction. Some gangly young man decided that he would enjoy himself by popping the balloons and knocking down the placards. Crumpled suit was nowhere in sight, but the old guy was straight in there pushing and shoving the young one around and getting irate. It looked as though he was going to swing for him and do himself an injury, as he was pretty unsteady on his feet.

Sensing a bit of action might take place, the heavy-set man waddled over and started wading in. From out of nowhere another youngish man joined them who was wearing a natty suit and tie. He too was trying to talk the youth out of destroying the stall, as it appeared that the young man objected to UKIP’s policies and he decided that it would be a good idea to show his displeasure by trashing the stall!

What made me laugh though, was it turned out that the man in the suit that had come over, was actually one of the ‘Green Party’ who had set their stall up a few feet further down the road. He had seen the disturbance, and thought that it would be a great opportunity for him to go over and persuade the balloon popper to vote for his party instead!

Talk about making the most of an opportunity!

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