I thought I would have a little fun today, with a poem about ‘faking it’. Meg Ryan has a lot to answer for!

The kids, at last, are sleeping

Your  partner’s in the mood

He’s nibbling on your earlobe

But you’d rather have some food!

You try to get your groove on

As his kisses get more urgent

He’s yearning for some loving

You’re thinking about detergent!

Your top has been unbuttoned

And he’s just unclasped your bra

You moan when you remember

That you forgot to tax the car!

The rest of the clothes are discarded

You need to show some willing

He lays you on the carpet

Now your bloody back is killing!

The rhythm is getting faster

You moan and sigh for good measure

The carpet burns have put a stop

To you having any pleasure

You feel the rush, and he relaxes

All happy now and sated

Whilst you are feeling quite put out

-Sex is so over-rated!