Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 258 : Five Photos, Five Stories – Day 5: My Sister’s Sun Lounge — March 28, 2015

Episode 258 : Five Photos, Five Stories – Day 5: My Sister’s Sun Lounge

I recently received the following invitation from Author SB Mazing

I’m about to invite you to join in a challenge I recently accepted. Five Photos, Five Stories. I thought this challenge could present you with the opportunity of viewing blogging from a different angle, to do something different, anything that suits you for that matter. It’s entirely up to you. …

The Five Photos, Five Stories Challenge rules require you to post a photo each day for five consecutive days and attach a story to the photo.  It can be fiction or non-fiction, a poem or simply a short paragraph – it’s entirely up to you.

This photo is of my sister’s sun lounge and was taken around Christmas time. As you can see, it has been decorated with lots of  little twigs and sparkling lights. There were also home-made stockings hanging up and an advent calendar. Festive bunting is draped around the room, as well as different coloured and scented candles, It looks beautiful at night especially.

I love this room at my sister and brother-in-law’s house. It is light and airy, and whatever the occasion, is decorated accordingly! At Easter, I know there will be different bunting hanging as well as lots of easter flowers and eggs that have been made,

There is a massive dining table in there are well which fills nearly the whole length of the room. It is always beautifully decorated to suit the festivities and the guests always have a named place setting with a special token or picture that represents them.

They are wonderful hosts and make so much effort to make everyone feel welcome. With my sister being a superb chef and brother-in-law a wonderful musician, there is always great food and great music at theirs as well as a lovely environment!

I would like to invite Mary-Anne from Breathing life 

Then each day, nominate another blogger to carry on this challenge.

Accepting the challenge is entirely up to the person nominated, it is not a command. And actually everyone can join in. So feel free to if you like the idea.

Episode 249: Five Photos, Five Stories – Day 2: One For All….. — March 25, 2015

Episode 249: Five Photos, Five Stories – Day 2: One For All…..

I recently received the following invitation from Author SB Mazing

I’m about to invite you to join in a challenge I recently accepted. Five Photos, Five Stories. I thought this challenge could present you with the opportunity of viewing blogging from a different angle, to do something different, anything that suits you for that matter. It’s entirely up to you. …

The Five Photos, Five Stories Challenge rules require you to post a photo each day for five consecutive days and attach a story to the photo.  It can be fiction or non-fiction, a poem or simply a short paragraph – it’s entirely up to you.

The photo I have chosen today is one taken last summer. It was a beautiful, hot day, so Mr Grump decided we would do a BBQ and invite some of the family and a couple of friends over.

It was a great evening, excellent food (Mr Grump is the best), lovely company and some decent music (in my opinion, but everyone seemed to enjoy it). Miss Hap had joined the loom band craze and had decided to make one for everyone, She was churning them out at an amazing speed, and the photo is some of us showing off her creations.

Just after we finished eating, the wind kicked up, and before we knew it the sky went black and the heavens opened, along with a spectacular thunder storm. Being the stalwart Brits we are, and used to such summer weather, getting everything taken indoors was a smooth operation, and the evening continued long into the early hours.

I would like to invite Ritu to join in.

Then each day, nominate another blogger to carry on this challenge.

Accepting the challenge is entirely up to the person nominated, it is not a command. And actually everyone can join in. So feel free to if you like the idea.

Episode 218: Organised Chaos Disorder! — March 13, 2015

Episode 218: Organised Chaos Disorder!

I might have mentioned before that I am a bit of a creature of habit, and that I kind of like routines. Now, I don’t know whether I have just pressed something by accident or not but something bis different when I go to write a post!

It is putting me right out as everything is topsy turvy as well as being the wrong way around. The tags, categories etc have changed sides from right to left, and the space where I type my post has moved from top to bottom! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

In fact, the more I think about it, the weirder I realise it is really, being such a stickler for routine. I get up for work every day at the same time, have the same breakfast, leave for work at a set time, park in roughly the same place! Hmmm that seems a bit odd really! I know my work colleagues think I am mad, as I always get to work at least half an hour early so I can have a coffee and a chill out before the madness of the day sets in.

I suppose I don’t even realise I am doing it really (unless I stop to think about it) as it has become a habit. Mind you, any break in the link puts me right out! It might even take me ages to get back into the swing of things (Mr Grump keeps me in pitta bread for my breakfast so he doesn’t incur my wrath)!

Mr Grump is also a fan of the routine-oriented day though! He gets up (lovingly woken by me yanking the covers off him once I have opened the blinds, and takes the dog out before he goes to work. (We have a decided lack of spontaneity in our house you might have noticed)!

Thank God though for Miss Hap!! She gets up eventually after being called repeatedly, has no routine, is totally disorganised and just floats along in her own sweet way. She has no concept of time or urgency and drives me and Mr Grump round the bloody bend!!

I don’t know which is worse, being too regimented or being too lackadaisical!

Episode 206: Sing-A-Long Sunday — March 8, 2015

Episode 206: Sing-A-Long Sunday

I do love those off-the-cuff days, where you have nothing planned as such, and things take an unexpected but really pleasant turn…..

My younger sister (Mrs Masterchef) phoned and asked Mr Grump if he had some tools, as she had a new water-butt that needed installing, and as the weather was glorious again today, it  was ideal to do the job. Her husband (Mr Musician) is not renown for his DIY skills and we were invited to their house so that Mr Grump (who is very handy) could help if necessary.

Miss Hap was visiting nanny and playing with friends there so didn’t come with us, I had decided that i would wear my lovely  high heels to match my outfit that wasn’t black (for once). Anyway once we got there and saw them in their wellies and working clothes I felt a bit over-dressed teetering about in my clod-hoppers!

I made myself comfortable out in the sun and left Mrs Masterchef and Mr Grump grappling with a standpipe and a hacksaw, and Mr Musician at the very top of the garden digging it over, and pulling out huge roots that had more meat on them than he did!

I did occasionally wander over to see how they were getting on fitting the water butt and cringed when i saw a hairline crack had appeared in one of the fittings, after a bit of manhandling by Mr Grump. Time for a cup of tea I think! All of them were on the booze so I put the kettle on for myself, but spilt water all over the worktop as the lid came off the water jug.

Once the work was done and they had tidied up, Mr Musician went to get his guitar for a bit of a sing-along. I love these occasions, as both he and my sister have fantastic voices, and they sing so well together too. Myself and Mr Grump decided to lower the tone a bit and we crooned along. I thought we all did a brilliant version of  ‘Dreadlock Holiday’ that 10cc would have enjoyed.

By this time the high heels that were killing my feet had been kicked  off, and Mrs Masterchef’s fluffy bootie type slippers put on. One of the advantages of being in the company of family (especially when they are the same shoe size)!

Time went all too quickly before we needed to go home to have dinner and prepare for work and school tomorrow, I just love those kind of chilled days, enjoying the company of family. Oh and as an added bonus; since I have given up smoking my voice is not as croaky as before, and I occasionally even hit the right note!

Episode 203: Lazing on a Sunny Afternoon….. — March 7, 2015

Episode 203: Lazing on a Sunny Afternoon…..

What a glorious day today was! It was so sunny,  and reasonably warm as well. I had already decided that I wanted to change my logo picture on my blog, so me, Mr Grump and Miss Hap set off to a lovely little village nearby to get some photos.

The pictures we took were of a traditional phone box (I like the one I had in the pic before but it was a stock photo and I wanted my own) which is situated right next to an old well. To me the phone box is quintessentially British, plus it is all about communication, both of which depicts me!

Anyway, we got a lovely load of photos and only a few strange looks (it was obvious we were not tourists, plus we were taking pictures of a phone box with mobile phones, which probably struck people as odd!

Next stop boring shopping which actually killed some of my good mood, I hate grocery shopping on Saturdays at the best of times. What makes me really cross is when I am looking for something on the shelves and someone plonks a great big foot right into my personal space, then follows it up with the rest of their body so we are almost nose to nose! Bugger off out of it, why don’t you!

On the way home I spoke to Mr Grump about maybe calling in on a nice pub to sit outside and enjoy the weather perhaps with a spot of lunch to go with it. we decided to drop the shopping in first, and as we turned into our road, we  saw some odd woman waving madly at us to go first even though it was her right of way. Once we got home we realised this car was right behind us, and the mad woman was in fact my sister-in-law in her lovely new car!

It was so nice to see her and have a gossip and a catch up. She decided not to come with us as she had errands to do, We finished our cuppa then headed off to the pub in a little village a couple of miles away where my niece and her fiance were .

It was glorious there, we sat in the garden right next to the river which was populated with trout and other assorted fish.The sun was warm and bright, and there were quite a few families also enjoying the unexpected sunshine.  It was by now quite a bit past lunchtime and myself and Miss Hap were starving so Mr Grump ordered some food for us.

After a while, I was greeted by the most enormous ham sandwich I had ever seen! Each slab of bread much have been an inch thick, containing a good quarter of a pound of hand-carved ham! A generous portion of dressed salad and (what seemed like)  a whole packet of crisps completed the meal! Wow! Finally a place that does my kind of portions!

A couple of very pleasant hours ensued until my poor frozen body could take it no longer  and it was time to go, (After all, it is still only March)!  Yes spring is just around the corner!

Episode 148: Family Night….. — February 6, 2015

Episode 148: Family Night…..

The weekend is upon us. The time for families to spend quality time together enjoying each other’s company….not in our house!

We all started off sitting together in the front room having dinner, then Miss Hap got a call afterwards from a school friend, She decided that they needed to ‘face time’ each other as talking is obviously not enough (neither is the fact that she was just with her at school a few hours previously) and she clomped off upstairs to get some privacy!

I remember those days when younger and my friends would phone on the weekend. My Mum and step-dad would moan loudly about ‘bloody kids’ phoning up when we only saw them 5 minutes ago. We didn’t have the luxury of a cordless phone and the cable wasn’t that long either. That normally meant sitting in the front room trying to talk to your friend whilst getting withering glances from the others as you were disturbing their TV viewing pleasure!

Privacy was not an option. If you were lucky, you might be able to yank the phone out to the hall and sit on the stairs for 5 minutes, before being yelled at to ‘get off the bloody phone’ – even if your friend called you! Those were the days!

Mt Grump has plonked himself in front of the (blaring) TV  with a few beers, to watch the Rugby. It is England V Wales, and is being played in his home town of Cardiff. The rest of the family are English, and he has been getting a few texts from them commiserating over Wales’ inevitable trouncing by England even though it hasn’t started yet! In fact we are being treated to a light show of dizzying brilliance.

I am sat at my laptop trying to block out the bloody racket coming from the TV. My headphones have blocked out about 50% of it, but no doubt I will still hear the shouts if Wales score, or the swearing if England do!

Good old technology. where would we be with out it?…..Probably all sitting around playing a board game and spending quality family time together no doubt!!!

Episode 109: Growing Old Disgracefully…… — January 17, 2015

Episode 109: Growing Old Disgracefully……

I have been pretty negative about the process of aging recently and how I am starting to feel (not to mention look) old. I have decided that there must be some positives to being older, and here are a few things that I have noticed….

You can say what you ‘bloody well like’, in the words of my 82-year-old mother! Yes, once you reach a ripe old age you have earned the right to say what you like about anything; regardless of whether or not it causes offence or hurts anyone’s feelings. I have been in the supermarket with Mum when she has told the assistant on the deli counter that she ‘doesn’t want that plastic ham’ or she’s ‘not paying that much for a bit of cheese’ etc. They can’t decide whether or not she is joking but soon get the message when she turns on her heel and just stomps (well hobbles nowadays unfortunately) off! I. or my sisters (whoever has the pleasure of being with her)  are left cringing in her wake, rolling our eyes at the bewildered assistant.

She likes to say what she thinks about members of the family too. Either directly, once she told me that a trouser suit I had bought would look better on my sister as ‘she has got the figure for it’. Very true, but I was gutted, and never wore it again! Or indirectly, as in when someone has left the room and before they are even out of earshot she will remark about how much weight they have ‘piled on’ or how awful their outfit is!

Another advantage is selective hearing. This can come in very handy when you don’t want to do something. For example, my Mum hates putting her heating on, and would rather sit there shivering under a blanket than be nice and cosy in a warm room. So when any of us walk in to her little icebox, the conversation goes something like this.

“Why haven’t you got your heating on?”

“What?”

” I SAID, WHY HAVEN’T YOU GOT YOUR HEATING ON?”

“I cant’ hear a bloody word you are saying!”

Leaning over and bellowing in her ear,

“WHY IS THE HEATING NOT ON?!”

” Can you put my hearing aid in, it’s over there?”

By now, I have lost the will to go on, but will dutifully get the hearing aid which is whistling and shrieking, and put it in for her, and then just go and turn the heating on myself. It’s easier.

However, if I had whispered to my sister a bit of gossip about someone, she would have heard that and put her two penneth in!

When you are older, and supposedly wiser, you are an asset to any quiz team! There are always questions about the old days. Games like Trivial Pursuit and other question based games normally require a good range of general knowledge, and of historical events.It stands to reason that n older person on the team is a bonus (providing they have their hearing aids in, of course)!

You can dress with abandon, wearing whatever you like in whatever colour combinations you choose when you are older. Who cares about being colour-co-ordinated any more. Many elderly people I have encountered (which amounts to quite a few), are very  uninhibited in their dress sense. Why shouldn’t you wear reds, green and blues ALL at the same time! Who gives a toss about what others think?!!

You can nod off at the drop of a hat. Think Grandpa Simpson here, and his amazing ability to fall asleep, even mid-sentence! Yes, when you are older,nobody thinks it odd if you fall asleep at inappropriate times. How great is that? If you have a social function that you are obligated to go to but are not keen, it doesn’t matter! You can just have a snooze whenever you want and no-one will think you are rude. Far from it, they will probably think you are very sweet and endearing!

Those are just a few of the benefits I have come up with to being older…. are there any I have missed?

Episode 106: A Calculated Move…. — January 16, 2015

Episode 106: A Calculated Move….

Miss Hap was a little late home from school yesterday as her friend was rehearsing for her role in the school’s production of ‘Jungle Book’ (My daughter did audition for Mowgli but didn’t get it, and didn’t fancy any of the other roles). She didn’t want to get the bus home on her own, so decided to wait for her friend, which meant that she arrived home cold, tired,hungry, crabby AND with a sore throat.

Luckily, I had already prepared dinner (contrary to my moan about housework, I did end up doing it, of course) and it was ready and waiting for her on the table. Mr Grump was unusually late home so his would have to be re-heated later on. Miss Hap and I are much the same when it comes to our food, and we didn’t see the point in waiting any longer for ours, so we tucked in.

Although my daughter felt grotty, she apparently had some maths homework given to her that had to be in the next day. This is unusual as normally, although they do get loads of homework, they get a week to do it in. Anyway, she is always a bit vague on what homework she has, so I told her to get on with it, whilst I did the washing up.

As soon as I came back in the room, she was moaning, I asked what was the matter and she complained that she didn’t have the ‘right calculator’. Ii was mad as we had brought her one in September,

“Oh that one is no good, I need to have a Casio scientific one”.  Well I was not happy. I asked her what she was trying to work out, then got completely lost as she tried to explain it to me! I am not totally stupid, but neither am I great at maths! I advised her to see if there was an online scientific calculator she could use, but she was one step ahead and had already tried it.

Before I could stop her, she was e mailing her maths teacher (can you believe it)? telling him of her plight. At that point Mr Grump stomped in muttering and moaning; also cold, tired, crabby and hungry. Miss Hap regaled him with her tale of woe, and Bless him, he put his boots back on, and set off to get her this bloody calculator!

My God, how school has changed since I went there, as you can read here. I don’t remember being allowed to use calculators (they were quite a novelty and pretty basic when I was her age). It amazes me now all the different functions that they are now capable of doing. My maths teacher was terrifying. I would have loved to have seen her face if e-mail had been around then and I had dared to send her one regarding not doing my homework!

Apart from the eardrum-bursting bellowing that would have ensued, berating my audacity and stupidity,I would probably still be in detention to this day!  Thank God teachers are a little more ‘approachable’ today. (Mind you, some teachers are a little too drippy for my liking at her school, but I digress).

Anyway, the homework was completed, and  my daughter was duly sent to bed with paracetamol to reduce her fever. I gave Mr Grump his re-heated dinner, but he told me that he had gone past it now, and he left quite a bit of the chop. Never mind, I swooped it up and it was gone before he could change his mind. Very nice it was too! Well, I had to feed my poor brain as it had been overstretched trying to understand that maths homework!!

Episode 101:Happiness is….. — January 13, 2015

Episode 101:Happiness is…..

Some things that make me feel happy

I can name quite a few

The chill of a crisp autumn morning

A bowl of steaming  hot stew.

The stars that twinkle so brightly,

Going for a swim in the sea

Having a laugh with my family

Drinking a huge mug of tea!

The gorgeous scent of yellow roses

Snuggling up in my bed

Showing off a new hairstyle

Discussing a good book that I’ve read.

Getting a kiss from my daughter

A beautiful sunny, hot day

Soaking in a bath full of bubbles

Bidding for things on eBay!

Cuddling up with my husband

Writing posts for my blog

Hearing my favourite music

Getting welcomed home by the dog

All of these pleasures are simple

But each means the world to me

It’s true what the old proverb tells us

The best things in life are free!

Episode 93: Four Wheels On My Wagon….. — January 9, 2015

Episode 93: Four Wheels On My Wagon…..

I thought I would give my blog a bit of a make-over. Seeing as this is the start of a new year, in which I hope my blog continues to grow and improve, there is no time like the present to set the wheels in motion…….

Slight problem though! One of the wheels has fallen off, plus the brakes are jammed on! I seem to be incapable of doing what I thought was the simplest of things. I wanted to insert an audio link. Yes, that;s all, a silly little audio link. You would think that it would be easy peasy. Well so it might be for a four-year old , but I can’t bloody do it! Even after 2 hours of trying.

I think I must be missing some sort of  ‘common sense’ gene somewhere along the line! I worked in an office for 10 years for Christ’s sake and I can’t even do a  teeny-weeny link!. It didn’t start well when I couldn’t find an audio programme on my laptop. I didn’t want to use the video as I want to try to GAIN followers not scare them off. Anyway, I did it on my phone and (eventually) managed to send it to my laptop.

Great, so far so good, and it only took about an hour to do it! I had my post all ready and all I needed to do was to insert the audio link and ‘Bob’s your Uncle.’ Sorted! Only no, it was not sorted. WordPress did not like my audio clip (I know my voice is a little deep after years of smoking, but some might find it soothing)! It was the wrong type of file. There was a list of right types of files but of course I couldn’t convert mine to that type, and I think even if I do, then I need to upgrade (story of my life)!!!

So sod it! I will have to rack my brains for some other ideas instead.

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