Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

#Sillysaturday Health Petra the Pear — September 1, 2018

#Sillysaturday Health Petra the Pear

pear with rotten teeth!
Image courtesy of Sandra Dorey

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

This week’s Silly Saturday is all about a poorly pear named Petra. After several comments about Tom the tomato possibly being a good example to use to encourage people to look after their teeth, we thought it would be fun to introduce a couple of #SillySaturday Health posts. Although there is still the usual silliness you can expect from us both, there is also a serious side too. Anyway, please let us know what you think of this idea.

Petra the pear was feeling poorly  

She didn’t know quite what to do

Not only was she putting some weight on

But she was suffering from toothache too!

She had started to let her self go a bit

Indulging in too many treats

The sugary snacks made her teeth hurt

Causing trouble whenever she eats!

For too many years she’d been smoking

Which caused her teeth to go brown

Her gums receding and bleeding

It was time to turn things around.

She wanted her life to be fruitful

And continue her family tree

But she had to make sure she was healthy

And in the best shape she could be

First stop was to the doctors

To get help with giving up smoking

The harm it was causing her body

Was both sobering and thought-provoking

As if heart disease and strokes weren’t enough

It could cause breathing problems as well

Tooth loss, fertility problems and cancer

Not to mention the horrible smell

She decided to go for the patches

And started the very next day

She found that her nicotine cravings

Were slowly melting away.

Next stop was to the dentists

To see if something could brighten her smile

Because her teeth were so neglected

It was going to take a little while

It was not just about brushing and flossing

That Petra had neglected to do

But her sugary addiction

Had helped in her tooth decay too

Th dentist took some impressions

And gave Petra’s mouth a good clean

She was advised not just to clean the outside

But all around, underneath and between.

It was too late for poor Petra

To save some of the teeth that she had

She had to make some appointments

To remove the ones that were bad

Several months later and Petra is glowing

Her smile now so fresh and so bright

She cleans her teeth like an expert

Even the ones she takes out at night!

Images Courtesy of Sandra Dorey

Episode 376: In Sickness and In Health — June 16, 2015

Episode 376: In Sickness and In Health

Today I was looking after a new patient that had arrived on the ward last night. She was very friendly and chatty, and despite having a few medical problems seemed to be in good spirits. She was pretty much bed bound due to severe lower back pain, especially on movement, and also had a long-term catheter in situ.

I had received a call regarding a PET scan that was being arranged for this patient at a nearby hospital for tomorrow, and was making the necessary arrangements for her transportation there, plus staff to escort her.

When I went into the bay, she proudly introduced me to her husband. I informed them both about the scan, and asked her whether or not she was claustrophobic, if she could lay down for 30 mins reasonably still, and did she mind needles. Her husband looked at me and whilst stroking her arm told me that she will have any test or procedure necessary in order that she would be well enough to go home with him.

He then told me that he looks after her, washing, dressing and emptying the catheter bags, explaining that he does not want any carers going in, as he will always be there. He then said that he would ‘do anything and everything, whatever it takes, just as long as it keeps her with him, and he doesn’t lose her.’

She looked at him lovingly, and I have to say, I was trying to swallow the lump in my throat, Yes, I know we marry  ‘for better or worse’ and ‘in sickness and in health.’ However, the reality of it for some people, though not romantic is true love!

Episode 286: Multicoloured Madness! — April 14, 2015

Episode 286: Multicoloured Madness!

Over here in the UK we have got a bit of Election Fever going on.  In less than a month we will be casing our votes for the next Prime Minister and their government to take up residence, and all of the major parties are spouting off about the miraculous things they are going to change, or introduce.

One parliamentary candidate decided that it would be a great idea for people who  suffer from mental health problems, to wear some sort of coloured wristband according to their conditions.This was mentioned by her at a debate to keep the NHS public; she thought it might help professionals to identify conditions that mentally ill people might not be able to convey to them otherwise!

She has managed to offend quite a few people by this outrageous suggestion, not least because people with mental health conditions tend to already be stigmatised, or pre-judged in some way. There is still quite a lack of understanding and ignorance surrounding mental health, and decorating people with an array of different coloured wristbands is just like branding them as ‘unclean’ or something!

I suffer from depression myself (as it happens today is not a great day for me), and I don’t think I want to be walking about with an accessory that identifies me as having a mental illness. I am not ashamed of it, or anything, but there is far too much discrimination  as it is, due to ignorance. To broadcast to all and sundry that you have one or more of these conditions is setting yourself up for yet more problems!

Do you agree with the wearing of wristbands for mental health sufferers?

Episode 188: My Friends, The Google Family! — March 1, 2015

Episode 188: My Friends, The Google Family!

Today i have decided to pay homage to the great all-knowing, all sing and dancing ‘Google!’ Where would we be without it? How many times do you hear someone say “just Google it” when you have made yourself look a prat by not knowing something obvious? Yes, Google is the font of all knowledge, loved by all, but adored by dunces like me! Here follows my top reasons for using it:

‘Doctor Google’

We’ve all done it. Felt ill and looked up our symptoms on Google, only to scare ourselves half to death, convinced we are going to die imminently. It is worse if you look at images as well. After being told I had Impetigo, I was doubtful but looked it up when I got home from the doctors. Some of the images I saw were really horrendous, and not ideal tea-time viewing! Thank God I have already started taking my tablets before my scabs get to that stage!

‘Masterchef Google’

I do actually have a few different types of cookery books, but for some reason can never find what i am looking for. Miss Hap is very fond of giving me extremely short notice that she needs to bring in cakes or biscuits or something for school. Masterchef Google has come in very handy here. I have some wonderful recipes for cupcakes, ginger biscuits, and even a rhubarb and ginger grumble (that was for me actually when we had a load of rhubarb growing in the garden and I needed to use it).

‘Professor Google’

Ah this is one of the most useful of the google family! I use for the times Miss Hap has some particularly difficult homework that I have no idea how to do, but don’t want her to know how stupid I am. I can ask her to leave it with me for a bit, then use prof google to find ways to help me understand what she has to do in order that I can explain it to her!

It is invaluable for help with maths, geography, history and art; actually it has helped both myself and my daughter in researching most of the subjects she takes at school. (These kids don’t know how lucky there are, we had to plow out way through massive reference books or encyclopaedias)!

‘Detective Google’

This is a handy one for those that like to check people out (if you are feeling particularly brave, you can type your own name in and find out all about yourself)! If you are a nosey type of person, cautious, or inquisitive you can try to get a bit of a lowdown on people to see if they are hiding any dodgy photos or crazy family members. Unfortunately, unless they have done a particularly horrendous crime and been splashed all over the news, the chances are you won’t find out any decent gossip about them!

As you see my google friends are pretty handy, I know I might have missed some of the important ones out. Which ones do you use?

Episode 9: Bittersweet — September 29, 2014

Episode 9: Bittersweet

Monday morning,the start of the working week, uniform ironed, lunch made, car fuelled up….everything is ready. Only problem is, the bloody lurgy has come back AGAIN!! I can’t believe it, I have only just shaken off a sore throat and fever (see previous posts), and now it has come back with a vengeance in less that a WEEK!! This time as well as previous symptoms, I now have the full-blown sneezy, snotty, not to mention snorty, cold that goes with it!! This time, I decided I will go and see the doctor…..

I go to wake Mr Grump up,for him to get ready for work, and as he got out of bed, he startled me by emitting a mighty yelp! It turns out that his shoulder was hurting (He injured it at work about 3 months ago when he slipped on some wet steps whilst lugging some goods he was delivering, and he fell all the way to the bottom) and every now and again it plays him up.However, off he went in his little delivery van to start his rounds.

Miss Hap trudged off to school, laden with so many bags (PE kit, cookery ingredients, plus usual books etc) that I could barely see her beneath them all. God knows, whether I am going to get my ‘fruit fusion’ as promised, or whether it will end up being a smoothie due to the fruit getting mangled on the journey to school!

Anyway, with those two out of the way, I settled down on the sofa to languish in my self-pity, and watched awful daytime tv, punctuated with regular loud sneezes exploding from my poor nose, making my head hurt. …

After about an hour I got a call from Mr Grump. He was at his first delivery, and just as he was finishing bringing in his last load, his shoulder gave out completely, so he was waiting for the boss to pick him up to bring him home, and he would need to see the doctor…could I make him an appointment?!

I said I would, but didn’t hold out much hope that he would get one,as  I had  spent 15 mins trying to get through on constant redial, and then could not get one until after 4pm. Needless to say, once I told the receptionist what had happened to him he got one for 12.30!

Another half an hour goes by, and then I get another call from Mr Grump. His boss had dropped him off a few of miles away as he had a meeting to go to, and could I pick him up?!! NO, I bloody couldn’t! I’m supposed to be wallowing in my illness here, I didn’t want him home moaning and groaning about his shoulder all day, and demanding attention! Still, guilt got the better of me and I dragged myself out to get him! My guilt was compounded when the doctor signed him off for two weeks with a suspected torn muscle (OUCH)! Still, at least the dog was pleased to see him!

My turn came to see the doctor,and as suspected, it was a virus, inflamed throat, hacking cough, fever etc,  but I would just have to put up with it; however the results were back from the blood test I had done last week, and although most of them were fine, the fasting blood sugar was too high, and that coupled with other symptoms I had been experiencing, meant that I now had Type 2 Diabetes. Shit! I didn’t see that coming…..

My mind was reeling as she printed off some information sheets, and informed me that for the first three months I would have to go on a strict diet to try to control the blood sugars, Oh My God, this is going to mean a lot of changes,I had already cut out what little sugar I ate anyway, but now would have to be extra vigilant for the hidden sugars that are in so many foods. Plus of course I would need to eat a healthier diet. She then told me nonchalantly that she would register me as a diabetic, and ushered me out of the door!

Stunned, Mr Grump and I went to pick up his prescriptions that he had got earlier, from the pharmacy, and he asked me what cough mixture I wanted to try to assuage this awful bark that I have. “For Christ’s sake make sure it’s the sugar-free variety!” I answered…I think there may be some challenges ahead!

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