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#JusJoJan 2018. January 11th Humiliate

I hope that you are enjoying my posts from Linda’s Just Jot it January as much as I am enjoying writing them.

Here is today’s prompt word.

Your prompt for January 11th, 2018, brought to you by the very wordy Jim Adams, is “Humiliate.” Use it any way you’d like in your post. And make sure you visit Jim at his blog, “A Unique Title for Me” to read his post and say hi! Here’s his link:  https://jimadamsauthordotcom.wordpress.com/

I would never intentionally humiliate anyone, as there is nothing worse than feeling belittled, ashamed and/or worthless, especially if it is in front of other people.  I have been in several situations where I have been humiliated in front of others and it is horrible. These were mainly during my career, and in many cases, it was not personal, just part of the culture, it still made me feel terrible.

The kind of humiliation that a person deliberately inflicts on another to make an example of them, prove a point or demonstrate superiority is not acceptable. I don’t need any extra help showing myself up.

Being as clumsy as I am, can often lead to me feeling stupid and useless despite the fact that most of the time I try to laugh it off. If I break or damage something and I get yelled at, then it just makes me feel worse. Luckily, touch wood, I haven’t broken anything for a while. Oh, scratch that! I vacuumed up some of the lights we bought for this Christmas. They were the type that fell in a kind of curtain that we had put above the stairs and they looked lovely, well until I put one strand out of action, that is.

I was cross as I hate vacuuming at the best of times, but decided I wouldn’t wait for Mr Grump to do it and I would do it myself. Before I knew it the strand of lights wrapped around the vacuum very tightly before I switched it off and rescued them. It was too late though as they were broken!  Mr Grump saw the funny side and teased me about it; he is well used to my ways, and often jokingly calls me a vandal when I have broken, trashed or smashed something.

What Qualities Does a Real Man Have?

For those of us that have men in our lives, we accept that they may not be perfect but according to the Bookmakers William Hill there are fifty skills that your man should have in order to qualify as a ‘real man.’ Apparently, they questioned 2000 people in order to discover what qualities it takes to accomplish this,

The list includes things like being able to tie a tie, knowing how to wire a plug, being able to change a light bulb, as well as know when your anniversary is, and how to do the laundry.

I have decided to make my own little list of what qualities I think a ‘real man’ should have, which are in no particular order:

  • Not being ashamed to cry. I don’t mean just when their team loses an important match, I mean actually showing a bit of emotion when something has affected them deeply. Having said that, I don’t want him bawling his head off at the slightest thing!
  • Enjoy shopping. A real man will not be at all fazed whilst accompanying you on a shopping trip, and that includes browsing at lingerie! It is so annoying when you go to ask your partner’s opinion on a racy little number, only to find that he has legged it!
  • Be a good cook. Although I do like to cook at times, it is great that Mr Grump loves cooking and is so good at it too!
  • Have a decent sense of humour. Because I like to laugh at things and enjoy making fun of silly situations, it is important to me to have someone to laugh with. I don’t want to be with someone who is precious about me taking the mickey out of them!
  • Not having an aversion to housework. Being able to push a vacuum around is a huge plus in my book. It is one of those jobs that I hate doing! For some reason, I have never known a man who is good at dusting and polishing, but if he is handy with a vacuum then that’ll do!
  • Enjoy driving.  Although I drive myself, I am not that keen on it, so a man must be able to drive, and drive well! It is pretty off-putting if a man is crunching the gears or taking about 20 attempts to parallel park when he is behind the wheel.
  • Be well-groomed. Now a real man knows how to be well-presented. I like him to be smartly dressed in ironed clothes, smelling nice and have clean nails! I don’t however, want him to take longer getting ready than I do, hog the mirror, nick my beauty products, or borrow my straighteners (if he has hair of course).
  • Be good at DIY.  I like a man who is handy to have around. You never know when you need a shelf putting up, a room to be decorated or someone to fix something that I have broken.This is a very important quality in my book.
  • Know when to make himself scarce! This one is pretty important as well. I don’t just mean when you are having a ‘girly’ night in and don’t want the old man around. I mean that he knows to get out of your way when you are in a mood (especially if he is the one that has wound you up)!
  • Not being a selfish lover. I won’t go into too much detail here but a real man knows how to please his partner, not just himself!

Are there any that I have missed out, what qualities do you think a real man has?

#FundayMonday Sexting

Today’s video poem is all a craze that I have got absolutely no hope of mastering – sexting.  Perhaps it is just as well, really as god knows who might end up reading it, or what predictive text will make of it.

 

If you enjoyed those poems, and have time for a cuppa then you might like to check out my book Rhymes of the Times. It has many more poems like this and is perfect for dipping in and out of when you fancy a little pick-me-up.

 

 

Rhymes of the Times

 

Click here to be taken to my author page where you can purchase the book.

 

#FundayMonday Oh, How I Wish I Was Graceful

Today’s video poem is all about my clumsiness and ineptitude. I wish I were one of those women that always appears elegant and smart. No chance!

 

If you enjoyed those poems, and have time for a cuppa then you might like to check out my book Rhymes of the Times. It has many more poems like this and is perfect for dipping in and out of when you fancy a little pick-me-up.

 

 

Rhymes of the Times

 

Click here to be taken to my author page where you can purchase the book.

 

A bit of British Humour

I read a post a short time ago by the wonderful Debby where she used a writing prompt from a journal she bought. This inspired me to buy my own but on a totally different subject (mine is all about cultivating joy and well-being).

The prompt for yesterday was to write a joke. Hmmm, I am not good at jokes, unless they are very rude or very silly. I love the ‘knock knock’ jokes, and the ‘what do you call?’ ones. As in:

‘What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?’ Answer: Doug!

‘What do you call a man without a shovel on his head?’ Answer: Douglas!! (it’s all in the pronunciation)!

I won’t bore you with any others as they are really old jokes and not that funny unless you are me, who finds them hilarious!

Anyway, I decided that as I couldn’t tell any jokes I would talk a little about British humour instead.

The first thing that springs to mind is the fact that we love innuendo, double entendre, and a good pun (or even a bad pun, anything goes)! The ‘Carry On Films’ are a veritable feast if you like that kind of thing, with their silly storylines, and crazy character names such as a surgeon named Dr Carver, and a young doctor called Dr Nookey ( a British euphemism for sex). I’m thinking this must have had an early subconscious influence on my choice of career! They always had such fun in the hospitals in these films.

The Sun Newspaper loves puns and innuendoes too, and they have had some famous (or infamous) headlines over the years. For example, when Elton John and David Furnish married, their headline was ‘Elton Takes David Up The Aisle’ and ‘How Do You Solve A Problem Like Korea’ which needs no explanation!

Sarcasm features pretty heavily in our humour armoury too and it is always appreciated whenever we hear it. Comments like’ I’m returning your nose, dear, I found it in my business’ and one (of many) from Winston Churchill ‘ I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly!’ Another favourite is when parents say things like, ‘I think you have forgotten to put a skirt on’ or ‘can you plaster on any more makeup?’ to their teenaged daughters when they are going out!

This can get a bit confusing though as sometimes we say something straight-faced but mean the exact opposite, such as ‘Oh, lovely’ it’s raining again, I can’t wait to go out in it!’ or even worse. ‘Yes, green is definitely your colour’ when it is obvious that it looks hideous!Mind you, it could be worse if they went the whole hog and said that ‘green is definitely your colour, it matches your complexion!’

One of my favourite types of humour is the observational kind. We have several comedians who are brilliant at this, Michael McIntyre and Peter Kaye are so good at turning the ordinary situations into massive belly laughs!

We have a fixation about class too, and that often comes out in our humour. There was a famous Monty Python Sketch that they showed us at Uni about the British Class system which you can see here.

I suppose our most common type of humour is the self-deprecating type, of the hapless idiot always messing things up. We do love to put ourselves down, then have a major complex if anyone agrees with us. What a mixed-up lot we are!

I hope I have managed to give you some laughs despite the rubbish jokes at the beginning!

#FundayMonday Tittle-Tattle

Today’s video poem is all about a good old gossip, or tittle-tattle if you prefer.   Whether it be over the garden fence with a neighbour, or by the photocopier in the office, many of us have indulged in it at some time or another.

 

If you enjoyed those poems, and have time for a cuppa then you might like to check out my book  Rhymes of the Times. It has many more poems like this and is perfect for dipping in and out of when you fancy a little pick-me-up.

 

Rhymes of the Times

 

 

Click here to be taken to my author page where you can purchase the book.

 

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