Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 325: Ice, Ice Baby! — May 12, 2015

Episode 325: Ice, Ice Baby!

Now I am pretty lucky that Mr Grump is rather handy in the DIY department, and will tackle most jobs.However, I am the worst person in the world to have around when things like that have to be done, as I get really stressed out about the mess and the hassle! Added to that the fact that I am not feeling so good at the moment, means that tempers might be a bit fraught if there are any jobs that Mr Grump wants to get done.

My niece has recently moved and we have bought her lovely huge fridge freezer as it is unfortunately too big. It is not quite a year old and has a water and ice facility that has so far never been used as it was never plumbed in. Mr Grump decided straight away that he would be able to do that, and ordered metres of thin pipe needed for the connection as well as some other bits.

After a lot of maneuvering of stuff that was in the way in our kitchen, the new fridge freezer was in place and work was due to commence on Saturday morning which I was dreading! In order to connect it to the nearest water pipe he was going to drill a hole through the kitchen into the downstairs loo, cut the pipe near the sink and fit a new connection.

I got out of the way! After the most horrendous loud drilling that went right through me, and shattered my already frayed nerves, there was a load of banging about, a bit of cursing and then he said he had done it.

Wow, that was quicker than I had expected. He said he was going to turn the water supply back on and that was it. Great. I waited in anticipation. Psssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that was a funny noise, but I didn’t move off of the sofa. Mr Grump went to investigate in the kitchen, and yes the water was connected to the pipe but was pouring all over the floor. I think he had missed the bit about connecting that bit of pipe to the bloody thing itself!

I left him to clean up the mess (with my nice tea cloths and kitchen towels Grrrrr), and went online to find the online manual that shows how to connect up the other bit. Anyway, he did manage to sort it out, and I was called out into the kitchen for a ceremonial glass of water from the tap on the new fridge.

It took him quite a bit longer to suss out how to make the ice, but he did it and was feeling pretty pleased with himself. Miss Hap decided she needed to try it for herself and I could hear the humming noise it made but no ice came out. Mr Grump went back to fiddle with it, and made some more.

Later that night just before bed Mr Grump got me a glass of water from the fridge this time to take up with me as I usually do. He asked me if I wanted ice (I didn’t), I thought I would humour him and let him show off so I said yes.

Humming noise, no ice; humming noise, no ice! He opened the door, and I pointed out to him that he should not have put the over on the ice making bit, it was to be stored separately if ice was being used. He crossly told me that he hadn’t put it there (he had)!

Anyway, he put the glass of water under the ice tap and a whole load of ice cubes came flying out of the compartment and all over the floor. That didn’t please him at all. He picked all the ice up, raging and moaning whilst I stood there, shoulders shaking trying not to laugh. He then stomped off to bed leaving me to get my own ice. Really!

Episode 197: Someone Like Me… — March 5, 2015

Episode 197: Someone Like Me…

Todays’ Blogging 101 assignment is to publish a post you’d like your ideal audience member to read, and include a new-to-you element in it.

Hmmm, this is a bit tricky as I don’t have a specific audience member in mind. I am just bloody grateful I have an audience at all really! So for the purpose of today’s task, I am going to base my ideal  audience member on someone like me. An ordinary person who blunders their way through life leaving a trial of havoc in their wake! Yes, someone who can bang into, trip over or knock down anything and everything! A klutz of the highest order.

This person actually loves interacting with other people, and actually once they get to know you, will appear to be quite outgoing and confident. On first meeting them though they will appear shy and awkward. They will smile nervously but not contribute much to the conversation unless asked directly to do so. Then they will stumble over their words and blush a lot!

This person loves to see the funny side of things. They have a wicked sense of humour, and a very dirty laugh. They can make something out of nothing and the double entendre is their best friend. Bursting into inappropriate laughter at times such as when they were asked to go and find a ‘scrotal sling’ for an unfortunate patient is second nature to them. When something tickles them, they are no longer shy, and usually succumb to the odd snort of laughter, hurriedly disguised as a cough!

This  person would love the sillier things in life. The more ridiculous the better, and they will suddenly chuckle to themselves when it comes to their mind. They also love to tell others about it so they can share the laughter.

Well there you have it. This was by no means intended to be an egotistical post. I just thought that the type of person who would enjoy my blog would have some similarities to me!

I have included a clip of one of my favourite characters, Sir Lancelot Spratt, played by the superb James Robertson Justice. I know it is dated a bit now, but I just love his accent, the way he shouts at everyone terrifying them. Plus it is set in a hospital, which is right up my street anyway!

Enjoy!

Episode 126: Tired of Not Sleeping! — January 28, 2015

Episode 126: Tired of Not Sleeping!

What do you do to entertain yourself at 3am in the morning when you can’t sleep? It is so annoying You turn over, and over trying to get comfortable…then you need the loo so you stumble out, eyes half closed, get back to bed and…ZING! You are wide awake. That’s the situation I found myself in this morning….

Apart from the fact that I was resentful that both Mr Grump and the dog were snoring contentedly, I was cross because I had a day off and could have had a lie-in (I never do anyway, but in theory I could)!

So it’s off downstairs as there is no point in trying to force something that is just not going to happen. It’s a little chilly downstairs, so I put the kettle on for a nice cup of tea. I don’t however, turn on the heating otherwise the clanking and banging noises it makes as it fires up will wake everyone else up. Anyway I’ve got one of those snuggle blankets with the arms in!

So now what can I do? Well I can catch up with a bit of TV that Mr Grump won’t entertain watching. I particularly enjoy a programme where this ex-hotelier (now bankrupt and unemployed), has been employed as ‘Entertainments Manager’ at another local hotel, as the owners saw his fly on the wall series a couple of years ago when he ran his own hotels (obviously before he lost the lot)!

Anyway, this guy is so funny, as he spectacularly buggers up everything he touches, even though he tries so hard. It makes me laugh, and if I can’t sleep, I might as well be sat there giggling. I flick on my laptop and have a couple of games of ‘Candy Crush’ whilst I am at it as well!

I know some people like to get on with a bit of housework if they can’t sleep but that would not be a great idea where I live. I am too noisy and clumsy to start dusting especially if not fully awake. Plus the walls are so thin in my house that I would have half the square knocking my door, not to mention Mr Grump and Miss Hap, baying for my blood if I dared to vacuum.

No, I didn’t fancy living dangerously,  so I opted for a couple of hours watching telly and playing on my laptop, I was then ready to go back to sleep, which I did… a really deep sleep, so deep that when Miss Hap came in to have a snuggle before school, I woke up with a splitting headache, feeling disoriented, and in a nice bad temper! Oh, and still tired despite eventually getting enough sleep!

What do you do when you just can’t sleep?

Episode 27: Smokefree but not stress free!! — October 28, 2014

Episode 27: Smokefree but not stress free!!

Things are a bit fraught in our house at the moment!…. Myself and Mr Grump have managed to give up smoking, and today we have completed the ‘Stoptober Challenge’. Twenty-eight days without a cigarette.  That probably doesn’t seem like much to most people, but I know for me, I have struggled through each minute of every day, especially the past week as I decided to get rid of the patches early so I  could be nicotine free sooner.

The fact that I am pretty clumsy at the best of times and Mr Grump is pretty… well, grumpy at the best of times does not make for a harmonious atmosphere when nerves are stretched already. . Take yesterday for example.. I went to draw the curtains in the evening, and not knowing my own strength pulled the whole bloody curtain track down! That put not only me in a temper but also Mr Grump because I asked him to fix it! He huffed and puffed but got up to do it, asking me to hold one end of the track whilst he put the other end back up. Problem was, I am pretty short, and even standing on the settee, I couldn’t hold it high enough for him. Annoyed but undaunted he started to put his end back up, but got a bit heavy-handed and snapped off one of the clips that he needed to attach the track to.

That did it! He was swearing and muttering as I stood behind him, shoulders shaking, desperately trying to hold in my laughter as I knew it would make him worse. Unfortunately I did a bit of a snort, and was busted! “Oh it’s alright for you standing there chuckling, go on, get it out of your system”, he scowled. So I did; he meanwhile continued putting the curtain track back up stony faced – in silence, There was a little bit sticking out in the middle where the broken clip was, but I said nothing… deciding to save that little repair job for another time.

I know that giving up smoking is better for us all in the long run, in so many ways. Myself and Mr Grump have struggled through a nicotine free month still in one piece, Miss Hap, Bless her is really proud of us both for sticking to it, and that in itself makes it all worthwhile….Having said that, sitting here drinking my tea I still feel there is something missing, and there is still a part of me that is saying, “right I have done the challenge now, Sod it, give me a fag!!”

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