Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Video Poem: Older on the Outside — February 23, 2016
Sleep, Precious Sleep! — December 4, 2015

Sleep, Precious Sleep!

I might have mentioned how tired I am trying to adjust to working full-time again. It is so odd as I have always been used to working so hard, yet don’t remember ever being this shattered (must be my age)!  I have been in bed before 9 pm every night and slept pretty much all night. Miss Hap stays up later than I do.

Speaking of which, I had to stay up till 10 o’clock last night, ON A SCHOOL NIGHT!!! She is currently in Germany at the Cologne Christmas markets with the school, and we had to drop her off at 9.30 pm to get settled on the coach which was leaving at 10 pm.

Needless to say, today was busy at work and I had a student with me as well. Due to my ‘late night’ I was tired and a bit crabby, especially as we didn’t get back to the office to eat our lunch until 3 pm!

I am so glad it is Friday and I can wind down a bit (and stay up late if I want to, although I am usually too knackered)! Not so tonight anyway, we have to be at the school at  3.15 AM to pick her up!! Hmmmm. Looks like I’ll have to go to bed soon. Talk about being old before your time – I feel about 100!

 

 

 

Episode 303: You Know You Are An Old Codger When……. — April 24, 2015

Episode 303: You Know You Are An Old Codger When…….

  • You bend down to pick something up, and not only do your knees creak more than a door that needs oiling, but you find it really difficult to get back up again!
  • You are too vain to wear your glasses outside of work, but can’t read something unless you hold it up, do the sliding back and forth manoeuvre in front of your face and add in a squint for good measure.
  • You still spend a lot of time in the bathroom, but it is normally because you have to get out so many times a night to go to the loo!
  • High heels are no more than an inch and a half; shoes are for comfort not style!
  • You snore louder than the dog, and have even woken yourself up!
  • You can no longer tolerate much alcohol. The three-day hangover you now get after a couple of glasses of wine is never worth it!
  • Whenever you go anywhere, you have to remember to take your medications with you!
  • Forget the sexy lingerie, it is practical garments that cover the essentials properly!
  • You become rather ‘set in your ways’ and get mad if someone buggers up your routine.
  • If someone rings after 9pm, you are outraged that they would be calling ‘at this time of night’!
  • You try to sing along to your favourite song, and realise (a) it has been remixed, mucked about with and re-released or (b) you have forgotten the words!
  • You are married to a Grumpy Old Git!
Episode 109: Growing Old Disgracefully…… — January 17, 2015

Episode 109: Growing Old Disgracefully……

I have been pretty negative about the process of aging recently and how I am starting to feel (not to mention look) old. I have decided that there must be some positives to being older, and here are a few things that I have noticed….

You can say what you ‘bloody well like’, in the words of my 82-year-old mother! Yes, once you reach a ripe old age you have earned the right to say what you like about anything; regardless of whether or not it causes offence or hurts anyone’s feelings. I have been in the supermarket with Mum when she has told the assistant on the deli counter that she ‘doesn’t want that plastic ham’ or she’s ‘not paying that much for a bit of cheese’ etc. They can’t decide whether or not she is joking but soon get the message when she turns on her heel and just stomps (well hobbles nowadays unfortunately) off! I. or my sisters (whoever has the pleasure of being with her)  are left cringing in her wake, rolling our eyes at the bewildered assistant.

She likes to say what she thinks about members of the family too. Either directly, once she told me that a trouser suit I had bought would look better on my sister as ‘she has got the figure for it’. Very true, but I was gutted, and never wore it again! Or indirectly, as in when someone has left the room and before they are even out of earshot she will remark about how much weight they have ‘piled on’ or how awful their outfit is!

Another advantage is selective hearing. This can come in very handy when you don’t want to do something. For example, my Mum hates putting her heating on, and would rather sit there shivering under a blanket than be nice and cosy in a warm room. So when any of us walk in to her little icebox, the conversation goes something like this.

“Why haven’t you got your heating on?”

“What?”

” I SAID, WHY HAVEN’T YOU GOT YOUR HEATING ON?”

“I cant’ hear a bloody word you are saying!”

Leaning over and bellowing in her ear,

“WHY IS THE HEATING NOT ON?!”

” Can you put my hearing aid in, it’s over there?”

By now, I have lost the will to go on, but will dutifully get the hearing aid which is whistling and shrieking, and put it in for her, and then just go and turn the heating on myself. It’s easier.

However, if I had whispered to my sister a bit of gossip about someone, she would have heard that and put her two penneth in!

When you are older, and supposedly wiser, you are an asset to any quiz team! There are always questions about the old days. Games like Trivial Pursuit and other question based games normally require a good range of general knowledge, and of historical events.It stands to reason that n older person on the team is a bonus (providing they have their hearing aids in, of course)!

You can dress with abandon, wearing whatever you like in whatever colour combinations you choose when you are older. Who cares about being colour-co-ordinated any more. Many elderly people I have encountered (which amounts to quite a few), are very  uninhibited in their dress sense. Why shouldn’t you wear reds, green and blues ALL at the same time! Who gives a toss about what others think?!!

You can nod off at the drop of a hat. Think Grandpa Simpson here, and his amazing ability to fall asleep, even mid-sentence! Yes, when you are older,nobody thinks it odd if you fall asleep at inappropriate times. How great is that? If you have a social function that you are obligated to go to but are not keen, it doesn’t matter! You can just have a snooze whenever you want and no-one will think you are rude. Far from it, they will probably think you are very sweet and endearing!

Those are just a few of the benefits I have come up with to being older…. are there any I have missed?

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