Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 436: #Throwback Thursday, You’re In The Army Now! — July 30, 2015

Episode 436: #Throwback Thursday, You’re In The Army Now!

I was visiting my mum a couple of days ago when my brother had brought over a load of stuff that was still over at the house she used to live in. Amongst all of the nick-knacks, books and other bits were some old photos.

They were taken back in 1984 when I joined the Army just after my 18th birthday. Most of them were of my passing out parade.

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How the hell I ever learned to march in time is beyond me as my co-ordination is pretty rubbish. Mind you I had my fair share of tellings of by the NCOs and found myself doing extra duties when I cocked up, or turning up to ‘show parade’ when I had ‘failed to turn my iron on’ (in other words I had a miniscule crease across the back of my skirt, which the sergeant had noticed)!

Still, I made it. I got through the basic training, I managed to pass the fitness test (which I hated) and I could invite 2 people to my passing out parade. Now was you may know, I come from a large family; Mum and Dad had divorced and re-married, and I have 5 siblings. As you can see from the pic, both parents and spouses came, 2 or my 3 brother and my older sister and her daughter, How they all got in I don’t know especially as my eldest brother was on crutches after breaking something!

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Still it was a magical moment for me when I marched past and saw them all there, as I didn’t know they were all coming.

Episode 403: Proud Mummy! — July 4, 2015

Episode 403: Proud Mummy!

Ah, the school report. I remember being given an envelope addressed to my mum near the end of term which I knew contained the dreaded school report. Back in ‘those days’ things were pretty simple. You were given A B C D E  as a grade for your school work. This might be followed by a + or a  –  but all in all, very easy to understand! If you got an A you were doing well, and an E meant you were in the shit, both at home and at school!

I never got many As unfortunately, except in English (because I liked it). I got by mostly on Bs and Cs which of course meant that I always got comments on my report such as ‘could do better’ and that kind of thing. Mum was a little disappointed (Dad more so when and if I ever told him) but I just did not like that school.

Anyway, Miss Hap goes to the same school but luckily for her, she is not blighted by my lacklustre results as all of the teachers have left since I was there. I received her report by e-mail! I got a notification that it was up on the school website and that I could log in to see it.

I managed to do it this time thankfully as it saved me the humiliation of e-mailing the school back and forth when I could not even log on last term,and had problems being able to read it in the right programme!

Gone are the days of the good old grading system and now we are graded with a number and a letter. For example 6A, 5C, that sort of thing. plus another number from 1-4 for ‘attitude to learning!’ It is all a bit confusing for me; especially as I still refer to her as a 1st year  rather than being in year 7 (why the hell they had to change all that. I really don’t know, especially as we still have a sixth form, which I am assuming would be a year 15 or some such nonsense)!

Anyway, Miss Hap has had a pretty bumpy first year, with more than a few setbacks, some more serious than others, but all of them upsetting. This meant that we have also been to the school for meetings on a few occasions, and have got to know a couple of staff members quite well. (I have to say they have been brilliant).

I was delighted to see that Miss Hap had done particularly well in Art. Now she says she cannot draw and has got herself in a state about it, She also at first, did not score that high in the subject due to lack of confidence. You can imagine how proud I am when she had a glowing report with her teacher saying how far she has come and how much she is applying herself to it. I was so pleased with her last Art homework, she spent so much time on it (the picture is the end result) and it paid off!

She also came top in German with 82% as she absolutely loves it! Considering the fact that she has a lot of self-confidence issues, and has struggled socially at school, I am extremely proud of her. It is not so much being top, it is overcoming the fact that she felt she couldn’t do something, but stuck at it and proved that she could!

Episode 247: Feeling Fantastic at Fifty! — March 24, 2015

Episode 247: Feeling Fantastic at Fifty!

After reading a post today on Inventing Real Life about whether or not a woman is ‘invisible’ once they get to the age of fifty, it got me to thinking….

I am less than a year away from the big five-o myself (sob), and I am already having mixed feelings about it. Originally I thought how lovely it would be to have a big party to celebrate the occasion. It would be a great excuse for a get-together and some cheesy music to get everyone up and dancing,

Despite my two left feet, a bit of 80s music will have me heading for the dance floor and strutting my stuff, especially if there is mostly only family there to witness my humiliating ‘moves’! This is where it comes in handy having such a large clan, it is not that difficult to fill up a function room!

Another possibility is doing a one-off event, such as a skydive, or perhaps a bungee jump, or even a hot air balloon ride This is all well and good providing you are not the biggest coward around , who can barely stand on a chair without getting dizzy at the height off the floor! No, I am a huge fail in the thrill-seeker department (well at least this kind of thrill seeking)!

Once I have decided how to actually mark the occasion, I wonder what happens then? Will I fade into obscurity? Be too old and past it for anyone to bother with any more? Left on the scrap heap, destined to be humoured as that ‘mad old aunty’ that everyone gives a wide berth to at functions! The nutter with the whiskery chin (no point in bothering with keeping myself nice anymore) and the garish clothes?

Not bloody likely! I spent a lot of time in my youth where I was so quiet and shy that I faded into the background (mostly by my own choice I admit). I was the wilting wallflower at parties, head drooped trying not to draw attention to myself. The awkward, jerky, tongue-tied girl, then young woman, blushing if anyone talked to me, or looked my way. The constant loner standing out like a sore thumb at clubs, as everyone else had gone off to dance,and being self-conscious, I would hang around trying to look invisible as I didn’t want anyone to think I was waiting to be ‘picked up!’

Anyway, I have decided that I am going to try to turn over a new leaf once I get to my fifties. I am tired of being a non-entity, the forgotten face in the crowd, the recipient of the “oh, we’ve never met” comment, despite being introduced a few weeks previously. I am going to break out of that shell that has encased me for the last fifty years and Sod what anyone thinks!

Rather than disappear, I am going to stand out in my fifties. the new confident me. So what if I still trip over everything, put my foot in it, and show myself up! That is always going to be part of who I am, so rather than cringe and try hiding away, I will endeavour to shrug my shoulders, dust myself down and laugh it all off! I am going to be fabulous at fifty!

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