Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 186: Counting Sheep! — February 28, 2015

Episode 186: Counting Sheep!

ADVISORY

**********I have made a joke at the end of the post which some people may find offensive, particularly if you are vegetarian or Welsh!!! No offence intended!********

If you live on a posh housing estate, you don’t expect to be bothered at 3am by a rowdy group making a racket and causing a disturbance. You might be cross about being woken up and shout at them out of the window, or you might even call the police. The residents of one such estate in the north of England, are at their wit’s end as none of these solutions have any impact. The reason for this is…….the culprits are four-legged, and fluffy sheep!

Apparently these sheep are breaking free of their fields, and making their way to this housing estate, leaving a trail of droppings in their wake. Some of the local residents have complained that it is not very pleasant taking their babies out in their buggies, and having to dodge treading in it, or trundling it around on the wheels!

Another problem is that the sheep are rather partial to a tasty plant or two, They like to snack on people’s prize petunias and such like, and clear off without clearing up! This is very bad form and the neighbours have had enough of it.

Nobody seems to know who these bothersome bovines belong to,so the police have very helpfully dished out tines of paint! Yes the residents are expected to try to catch one of these troublesome tearways, and splodge a bit of paint on it in order for them to be identified!

I had to laugh at this story. I know that if we ever had the same problem where I live with wandering sheep, Mr Grump being both Welsh and a chef would be in his element. The problem is, he wouldn’t know whether to shag it or cook it!

Episode 167: Fifty Shards of Glass! — February 17, 2015

Episode 167: Fifty Shards of Glass!

Picture the scene…it’s Valentine’s Day, you have gone (reluctantly) to the cinema with your wife to see ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ and when you arrive, you see a woman in handcuffs. Kinky? No, she has just been arrested by the Police!

Only in Scotland could this bizarre event have occurred. Apparently, during an earlier showing of the film, a group of three women became rather rowdy. Alcohol was sold in this particular venue and they had slightly overindulged. This caused to them to not only vomit in the aisles but also to become a bit loud and unruly.

This annoyed one gentleman who went over to them and asked them to pipe down a bit, as presumably, it was spoiling his enjoyment of the film! Big mistake! These women were not going to be told what to do, and apparently there was a fracas where the man ended up getting ‘glassed’!

The stewards promptly called the Police who swiftly turned up to arrest the three disorderly women, leading one off to the Police van in handcuffs! (Not quite the idea she had in mind, I suspect)!

The man and his wife arriving for the next showing waited patiently for order to be restored; vomit to be cleaned up, and blood wiped off of the seats!

I bet E L James had not envisioned her novels to have inspired this kind of scenario! (Actually it was probably a damn sight more exciting than the movie anyway)!

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