Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

#JusJotJan 2018. January 5th Memories — January 5, 2018

#JusJotJan 2018. January 5th Memories

Day five of Linda’s Just Jot it January and we have already had some cracking prompt words to use. Sorry if I am a bit behind on my reading of your posts, I will try to catch up tomorrow

Anyway without further ado, here is today’s prompt word.

Your prompt for January 5th, 2018, brought to you by friendly “gender undefined female” (click to read the post) Cage Dunn, is “Memories.” Use it any way you’d like in your post. And make sure you visit Cage at Cage’s blog, “Cage Dunn: Writer, Author, Teller-of-Tall-Tales” to read her post and say hi! Here’s Cage’s blog: https://cagedunn.wordpress.com/

Messing about 

Every day

magical moments

of fun and play

racing home

in time for tea

endless summers

Special memories

Photography 101: Solitude and the Rule of Thirds — March 11, 2016

Photography 101: Solitude and the Rule of Thirds

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I already had the perfect photo for today’s Photography 101 challenge of solitude. Last summer we went down to the coast on rather a cloudy day. It was also pretty early in the morning so the beach was near enough deserted. I love this shot of Miss Hap walking off towards the sea, mid-stride, hair blowing in the breeze appearing to be enjoying the solitude.

As far as the rule of thirds go, I think I have managed to capture it (despite not realising it at the time)! The sky, sea and sand are all roughly a third each of the picture, and Miss Hap is just off into the bottom third of the picture.

Ronovan’s Writes Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt Challenge #64. ‘Tide’ & ‘Flesh’ — September 28, 2015

Ronovan’s Writes Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt Challenge #64. ‘Tide’ & ‘Flesh’

Ron has really got me scratching my head this week to think of a suitable Haiku (actually, mine are never suitable) which uses ‘tide’ and ‘flesh’ for his weekly Haiku Poetry Challenge

This is what I came up with:

Heaving, at high tide

waves crashing and battering

Strips flesh from frail bones.

Photograph: Ben Pipe/The Travel Library/Rex Features
Photograph: Ben Pipe/The Travel Library/Rex Features

Episode 402: All At Sea! — July 3, 2015

Episode 402: All At Sea!

Everyone loves an adventurer. Someone who is not afraid to take a few risks, uses a bit of initiative, and laughs in the face of their critics knowing that they have what it takes to succeed. Not so this senseless sailor from Dorset.

The un-named 35 year old decided that he would rather like to start off small,  and take a three mile trip from Milford, Hants to the Isle of Wight. So far, so intrepid! However, he was slightly unprepared for the voyage ahead. He decided that he did not need such extravagances such as a radio, a life-jacket or some flares. Oh no, he was confident that he had everything he needed on his boat for this mini-expedition.

The ‘boat’ (actually quite a loose term for this contraption) was made up of an old door, a clothes horse, a few bits of polystyrene (well it needs to float), a parasol and windbreak (well you have got to have a bit of shelter out on the open seas, as it could get a bit chilly with all that sea spray) all held together with a bit of ancient washing line! Oh, and not forgetting a tea-light lantern (with a couple of extra tea-lights just in case), for navigation.

Unfortunately but not surprisingly, things started to go wrong for this madcap mariner when he tried to put the parasol up and the whole contraption broke to bits in the sea. Luckily there was quite a bit of wreckage strewn about in the Solent, and he had something to cling onto. Also a beachcomber heard his frantic cries for help and called the coastguard.

He was rescued after having spent 40 minutes in the freezing water suffering from shock and hypothermia (considering he was just wearing shorts and T-shirt)!

Back to the drawing board I think!

Episode 398: Tuesday Tidbit: Sex On The Beach! 18+ — June 30, 2015

Episode 398: Tuesday Tidbit: Sex On The Beach! 18+

A scorching hot summer, a handsome young couple

Their bodies glisten with sweat

Hair slicked back, damp from the sea

This beach is where they first met

She lies on her towel enjoying the sunshine

And gives a contented little sigh

He pours out some sunscreen into his hand

And starts smoothing it into her thigh

His circular movements get higher and higher

She is starting to react to his touch

As his hands start to wander

All over her body

She knows that she wants him so much.

He can stand it no longer, his passion is rising

He leads her by the hand to the sea

The cool of the water, does not cool their ardour

And they kiss more and more passionately

They have no one around them, and need to get closer

Each other’s bodies they crave

He removes her bikini and plunges inside her

As they rock to and fro with the waves.

Moaning with pleasure, they climb higher and higher

Until the apex they reach

Then sated and happy they return to the bar

And order A ‘Sex on the Beach!’

Episode 280: Sunny Seaside. — April 11, 2015

Episode 280: Sunny Seaside.

Well what a beautiful day we had today. The weather was surprisingly mild for April and following on from yesterday’s spring clean, I ‘persuaded’ Mr Grump to venture into the airing cupboard (with step-ladder) and get out my summer curtains. Yes, that is how optimistic I was feeling!

Mr Grump had also been bitten by the Spring Fever bug as he decided that it would be great to have a family BBQ tomorrow, so we sent out invites (via text of course), and set about the job of tidying up the garden.

A bit of scrubbing and maneuvering later and everything looked shipshape and ready for tomorrow, It was glorious to feel the sun on my back as I was outside in just a little vest top.It certainly makes me feel better when I see a bit of sunshine.

Around lunchtime we decided to hit the coast which is only a few miles away. It was so warm down there (even with the sea breeze) that we still didn’t need a coat. There were even 2 very brave little girls in the sea in swimming cossies. The dog and Miss Hap both wimped out of going in, although Miss Hap did stick her toe in!

Of course, being at the seaside you have got to have an ice cream (well if you are a child certainly), and Miss Hap had a double 99! I was going to get some chips but did not see any, so had a pancake instead! I had cheese garlic and it nearly blew my head off. God knows how much he put in there but it was at least 2 raw cloves. I must have stunk the car out on the way home, as I was the only one to have it. I felt a bit queasy myself as I kept getting a whiff of it!

We came home then called in on my younger sister (Mrs Masterchef) and her husband (Mr Musician) plus my niece was there (Ms Beauty).They were burning some garden rubbish so we sat outside around the fire until way after dark, before going indoors for a sing-song.

What a gorgeous day. It really does seem like spring is on its way!

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Episode 226: Choppy Seas And A Chilly Breeze! — March 17, 2015

Episode 226: Choppy Seas And A Chilly Breeze!

I like the concept of today’s Blogging 101 task. Yesterday we used a prompt which we had to interpret to fit into our blog’ today we have to read six other blogs that used the same prompt and comment on at least two of them. I have actually commented on more than that as there were some great takes on it.

If we felt like posting today (which I always do, then we could use one of the comments we left, expand on that and use the inspiration for the post. I love the beach in all weathers and I enjoyed the pictures that donegallizdoyle used in her post entitled ‘Wild Winter Beach’. I love the drama of the sea throughout the year and here are my thoughts on Portland and Chesil Beach, which unsurprisingly are only about five miles from Weymouth in Dorset, which I wrote about yesterday.  

As well as spending a lot of time on the beach at Weymouth, Dad used to take us to Portland. I loved it there as well. The weather always seemed to be rather brisk, and very windy, and the sea is extremely hazardous. Not only are there many lost vessels lurking under the turbulent sea, but Portland Bill itself boasts not one, but three lighthouses!

Pulpit Rock – Portland. Photo by Kris Dutson

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As kids we all used to love clambering over the giant rocks in Portland that came out of the sea. My brothers however would always climb to the top of Pulpit Rock (much to my terror as I hate heights and was terrified they would fall into the crashing waves below) Dad was not averse to clambering up the rock himself, but mostly he would be holding mine and my little sister’s hands, guiding us onto the safest rocks.

Occasionally, we would go further along to Chesil beach which was too pebbly and wavy for my liking! My family are all very strong swimmers, and although I can swim, I am more of a chicken than them, and when they played ‘chicken’ in the waves,  I was only about knee-deep because even there the waves could be quite high.

Portland is on the Jurassic coastline in the UK, so there were interesting fossils to discover, and in time a museum was opened in one of the lighthouses showcasing some wonderful findings from around the area.

Again, the last time I went to Portland was when my dad had just died. We had gone down to Dorset for the funeral, and I wanted to go to Portland one last time as a special tribute to my dad. The last time he was well, was the summer before (he died in the April) and we took him and my stepmum to Portland. Dad was in a wheelchair by then and we sat outside eating ice creams and looking out to see on a glorious day.

We then went to the museum where Dad was explaining to my daughter all about the history of Portland making it interesting for her. He was a very educated and knowledgeable man, and loved to make people laugh as well.

Anyway, myself, Mr Grump, my younger sister and her husband took a trip to Portland on this very wet and cold April day. It didn’t deter us as we had some nice warm jackets; We visited the places Dad loved so much.

He would have so loved to have been there with us!

Episode 224: Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside! — March 16, 2015

Episode 224: Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside!

For today’s Blogging 101 task, I have to publish a post on my own, personalized take on a prompt. The prompt of the day was places. We can interpret this prompt however we like to make it fit in with our blogs, so this is my take on places…..

My favourite place is Weymouth in Dorset which is depicted in my picture. I have many reasons to love this place. My Mum and Dad were both born here for a start. In fact they lived next door to each other right up until when they married in 1954. A few of my siblings were also born here, and my eldest brother still lives in the area.

I have very fond memories of this lovely little town, mostly made when I was a child. We always spent a lot of time at the beach as children, and I remember the fun we used to have building sand castles, collecting shells and catching crab. There was always something to do.

On the beach itself there was  (and still is) a Punch and Judy show that  all the kids used to watch huddled in a semi-circle and interacting with the puppets! There are lots of pretty, brightly coloured beach huts there too. At one end of the sands there are permanent trampolines there as well as some swing boats and a couple of small rides. This used to keep us amused when we had a bit of extra cash.

Another feature was the ‘Sandman’. He (and now his sons) have a little area cordoned off where he would cleverly sculpt all sorts of scenes out of just sand and water. It was amazing to see them develop and try to guess what they would become. In the middle he had a large container where you could throw coins and if it went in, then  a bell would ring.

sand-sculpture

One feature I always spent a lot of time at was the ‘lost children’s hut.’ I don’t know how I did it, but I always got separated from my siblings and spent half an hour playing with the toys there until someone realised I was missing and came to claim me!

Unfortunately Mum and Dad divorced when I was 6 years old, but Dad stayed in Weymouth and it was still a large part of my life. My younger sister and I would very often get the coach down and spend a week with Dad and, in time, my step-mum. The beach was still a main feature as my dad swam everyday in the sea whatever the weather!

Years later when we all have our own families, and still we went to stay in Weymouth. Sometimes Mum came and we all stayed in a caravan park just outside of the town. When my eldest brother married in the church there we all came down to stay for a while and had a great time.

Myself and my two sisters and niece went off for a holiday before my daughter was born, and had a wonderful time. The weather was vile but of course, but we were not deterred and swam anyway. Us Brits are pretty hardy you know!

Sadly, the last time I went to Weymouth was for my beloved Dad’s funeral. He was very religious man and the church was packed. After living 82 years there, he was quite well-known. I always wanted to move to Weymouth myself, but that day after we drove past the harbour where my dad used to take us on Sunday mornings for a very early walk, I decided that it would never be the same.

Maybe one day I will be able to go back…..

Episode 193: The Best Of British! — March 3, 2015

Episode 193: The Best Of British!

Us Brits are a breed apart you know. We have our own little ways that make us stand out from the crowd. We may be a small little island, but we know how to make our make on the world! This is the kind of thing that puts the’ Great’ into Great Britain.

  • You can tell a Brit on holiday a mile off. We are the ones that are burned to a deep shade of lobster red, on the vast expanse of exposed skin we have on display. Why bother with suncream? We are determined to get a tan and we don’t go in for sunblock,Oh no, that is for sissies!
  • Similarly the Brit abroad is going to seek out the only English cafe/pub around so that they can continue to eat the kind of food that they are used to, Why would they want to try the local cuisine and experience something new when they can get fish and chips  and a pint of lager at Joe’s Cafe!
  • Over in our own country, in the summer, whatever the weather, you will often find the hardy Brit swimming in the sea when it is pouring with rain, and ‘sunbathing’ on the beach in a swimming costume when there is no sun to be seen! (seriously, I am guilty of both of these). It is summertime, You are at the beach. You will bloody well enjoy yourself. This was how I was brought up!
  • We apologise for everything! If someone barges into us, we say sorry.Even if we bump into a lamp-post we apologise!
  • We queue for everything! Yes us Brits do love a queue; everywhere from supermarkets to the loos! Woe betide anyone that tries to jump the queue though! You will get some serious dirty looks, and someone might even be brave enough to tell you off!
  • Tea is the curer of all ills. If you have had a shock, a cup of tea will calm you down. Feeling peaky? Have a nice cup of tea. Also if you want any work doing by anyone, you need to have a tea on tap! It’s the workmen’s fuel (together with a bacon butty)!
  • We are very modest, It is very bad form to ‘blow your own trumpet’ so if someone gives us a compliment they will wish they hadn’t! We will turn it around, and put ourselves down, and make you feel dreadful for daring to mention how wonderful we are!

So there you have it, the best of British in a nutshell!!

Episode 46: Turning Full Circle….. — November 15, 2014

Episode 46: Turning Full Circle…..

Me and Mr Grump go back quite a long way (30 years to be precise)! We first met at a small Army Barracks where we were both stationed. I had literally just got out of  basic training and was still quite a shy and quiet 18-year-old (One of the reasons I joined the Army was to ‘come out of my shell’ a bit). He was a cocky and confident 21-year-old Army chef (definitely a good start there, he loves to cook, I love to eat)!

Anyway, I didn’t pay that much attention to him at first, preferring to concentrate on the food he was dishing up. I had not been on the camp that long, and it was still a bit of an ordeal for me going into the cookhouse as it was always packed, and I didn’t know many people yet; however, if I wanted to eat I had to go in…simple!

I had made a  couple of friends in basic training who had gone before me to this posting, and I ended up sharing a room with one of them,who went on to become my best friend (we are still in contact today) Karen, (this friend) and I decided to take advantage of the private strip of beach that we had on this camp, and headed off for a paddle in the sea.

We ended up going for a proper swim as it was a gorgeous, hot day, we had a little time to kill, and wanted to make the most of it. what I didn’t mention is the fact that, as it was an ‘off the cuff swim’, we hadn’t dressed for the occasion, and were just wearing shorts and t-shirts. Mr Grump, (actually back then he was spiky haired, and very lean and fit) and a friend of his had the same idea and were also having fun in the sea, swimming and splashing about.

They got out a little before Karen and I, and were just hanging around on the beach. As I came wading of the water, Mr Grump came over to me with his jacket which he thoughtfully wrapped around me. I thanked him for his kindness and we eventually went on to have a rather tempestuous two-year relationship.(oh, and he  later told me that he knew exactly what was in store for him, as my yellow shorts, white top, plus underwear,  had gone completely see-through in the water AND he had a bloody good look before bringing me the jacket to spare my blushes)!

We did get engaged during the two years, but were much too young and immature really, plus Mr Grump was being posted elsewhere and was a bit of a Jack-the lad in those days! We ended u going our separate ways, and although Karen and I both left the army after 3 years, Mr Grump continued to serve.

I came back to my home town, and life moved on…I did occasionally think about Mr Grump, and at one time, went to visit his mother in Wales for a few days. I didn’t see him at that time, as he was off serving abroad somewhere. Anyway, I ended up getting married, and much later  I had my beautiful daughter . He of course also went on to have children and marry.

As I mentioned, I was still in touch with Karen, and one day she told me that she had seen Mr Grump on Forces Reunited, and that he would be pleased to hear from me. I was really shocked  after all the time that had passed, but was so curious. After all, I had thought about him many times over the years, so anyway I bit the bullet and contacted him.

We sent messages back and forth for a while but then finally decided to meet up. I had been single for a few years as Miss Hap’s father and I had split when she was a very young baby. I had arranged to meet him in a local Supermarket car park, but he got lost as had to drive for a couple of hours to get there, Finally he made it there and seeing him was like the years just melted away (well aside from the fact that he had put on a few stone and his  hair was bald on top and long at the back which he put into a pigtail)! That was it for both of us…. after a few weeks, he moved in, and six months later we married! (By this time I had got at him with the hair clippers, he lost a load of weight, I put a load on), but we were happy

Karen and her family of course came to the wedding, and she was one of our witnesses;  Miss Hap was our gorgeous bridesmaid and  we had a small, intimate ceremony (so intimate I didn’t realise the room would only hold 4 people (and the huge dress that I had chosen), so a few of our family stood outside the window looking in at us exchanging vows!! We did have a reception at the local pub though for everybody and it was a wonderful day.

It just goes to show, how unpredictable life is! I never would have guessed, that after being apart for 25 years, Mr Grump and I would not only meet up again, but I would eventually become his wife, even if it took me 30 years to do it!!

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