Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

It’s good to talk! — April 9, 2018

It’s good to talk!

Like most people, nowadays we have a landline as well as mobile phones and use both equally.  As technology becomes more and more sophisticated, I become more and more befuddled. I do know how to use some of the features of both, but mainly I use them to make phone calls (surprisingly), send texts and take photos. I have once tried to compose a post on my phone but it went horribly wrong, and I ended up raging at the bloody thing (after all it is the phone’s fault and not mine of course)!

Anyway, a rather strange thing happened a while ago, I was on annual leave, and Mr Grump rang me on my mobile to tell me to get ready as he was picking me up after finishing work. He asked why I didn’t pick up the home phone, and I told him because it didn’t ring, that’s why! He said it rang for an instant then gave the engaged signal, was I on to the phone to someone else or did I just cut him off?

I hadn’t done either. Obviously, he didn’t take my word for it, and when he came home, he rang the landline from his mobile, engaged. That was a bit odd. I made sure the line was clear, it was. He tried again, engaged I tried it, ring, ring. Funny, I could get through but he couldn’t

Oh, that was it, we had to detour to the bloody EE mobile phone shop in town to see what was wrong with his stupid phone! I hate these places. Trendy, young sales assistants who are all up with the latest gadgets, give the, “Oh, God don’t let them come to me” look to each other as we approach the front desk.

The unlucky loser was a young woman with the kind of two haircuts in one style that is so popular at the moment. She listened disinterestedly as poor old Grump gave her a rather lengthy explanation of what was wrong.  I could see her eyes glazing over, and that she was itching to snatch the phone off of Mr Grump so she could look at it herself.  After a few swipes of the screen here and there, she handed it back and said in a bored monotone, “there is nothing wrong with it at all, the settings are all fine, and there are no blocks on it.”

Great, that was really helpful. Mr Grump muttered his thanks, and then later on when we were at home asked me to ring Talk Talk our landline provider to find out what the problem was. I went selectively deaf for a while, why the hell did I have to do it!

Anyway, the next day he went on about it again so, when he came home, I moodily rang them. Well, of course, I didn’t get anywhere. The automated system asked me the wrong questions, and from the answers, it insisted on getting, I was told robotically that they would test my line and text me back.  They did an hour later, nothing wrong.

I phoned again, pressed different buttons and gave what must have been the right answers as I actually got a person! Mind you; I think they thought I was a bit simple and said they would also check the line, but I got my own back on Grump and made him talk to the bloke and tell him the problem he was having with his phone! I don’t know what was going on, but he had my phone, his phone and the landline, and still, it didn’t work. He couldn’t ring the landline and I could. More tests would be carried out and Grump was fuming.

I picked up the landline phone to ring my sister, and as is usual I pressed a few wrong buttons trying to find the address book part. I noticed something, though. There was a screen and on it was a folder ‘blocked numbers,’ I selected it, and there was poor old Mr Grump’s phone number! God knows how it had got there, but I managed to erase it from the folder. Mr Grump dialled the home phone, and it rang!

How I love technology!

Just Jot It January 6th – Cloud — January 6, 2016

Just Jot It January 6th – Cloud


Today’s prompt word is ‘cloud’ for Linda’s Just Jot It January. As you can see from my photo, today we have blue skies and puffy white clouds which make a change from all the awful rain that we have been having recently!

Anyway, I am not going to talk about that type of cloud, I am going to venture into the unknown (for me) and talk about storage clouds. I am not very tech savvy at all. I can use the computer to do roughly what I need to do, although there is still a lot more to learn. Thanks to some fellow bloggers, I can now use Picmonkey and Canva (the basics at least), and have learned over time more about some  of the WordPress features.

What I am now trying to get to grips with is this little cloud symbol I have on my laptop. I know it is ‘One Drive’ and that it saves everything to it from all of my devices which actually seems a great idea. The thing is I have got Dropbox and some Google photo thing where my photos go to as well! I know that Elizabeth was also talking about her cloud in this post and deleting photos from her phone, whether or not they would still be on the cloud.

What I want to know is, if I have got all these pics in all these places taking up all of my laptop memory, where is the best place for me to keep them, and is it safe to delete them from all the other places?

Any help would be greatly appreciated! 🙂




Episode 480: Getting Organised for Autumn: 5 Goals for September — September 3, 2015

Episode 480: Getting Organised for Autumn: 5 Goals for September

Reading Simply Marquessa’s blog about September being a month for renewal, It has inspired me to set myself a few goals for this month.  It is certainly a time of change for me, and I believe that having clear and manageable targets set out, will help me to achieve them.

  1. To continue with this new ‘lifestyle’ change. I am actually doing pretty well, having lost a further 2lbs bringing the total to 5lb. One more pound and I will be ‘overweight’ rather than ‘obese!’ (How funny that for once in my life, I am looking forward to being overweight)!  The exercise is going well too, as I seem to have found a bit of motivation and energy so am making the most of it!
  2. I also quite fancy having a go at Writing 101: Finding Everyday Inspiration. As you know, I am not a writer, but I might try to learn a few skills, and stretch myself more.
  3. I am going to have a bit of a clean out of my blog, trying to use mostly the Reader. Being confronted with loads of emails makes me stressed that I have so much catching up to do, and I put off writing posts due to spending hours catching up (the long way), flicking between email and Reader!
  4. Take more photos for my blog. I always admire those bloggers that take loads of beautiful photos that they use in their posts. I need to take more notice of my surroundings  – and take photos of it!
  5. Prepare myself for my new job. I have not given in my notice yet as apparently some of the paperwork and checks take ages to go through. I already spent a good hour yesterday printing and scanning, and completing assessments and questionnaires. I have to work out how to use a SatNav as well, and that will not be easy given that I am a dunce with technology!

I am hoping that this month, ‘I will be able to expand my mind and shrink my body!’

Episode 450: Loving it? I’m not so sure. — August 9, 2015

Episode 450: Loving it? I’m not so sure.

Miss Hap has been nagging at me this weekend to go to our recently revamped McDonalds, as it has had quite a makeover.

Needing to go into town and never being one to resist the lure of a double sausage and egg McMuffin, I decided to give it a whirl, and of course Mr Grump came as well.

On entering, I noticed straight away that there had been several major changes. The first one being that there was no queue at the counter which was straight in front of us. Although it was not overly busy when we arrived, this is still unusual.

Dotted around the restaurant were ‘pay stations’ where large screens were placed in order that food could be ordered. It was all the latest touch screen technology and a card reader was placed below it to take the payment.

Pretty impressive so far. We had a receipt spewed out which was to be taken to ‘collection point 1’ (very Argos), which Miss Hap went to collect whilst myself and Mr Grump settled on rather low down stools of different colours.

Attached to the tables were the latest tablets on pedestal type things which could be twirled around according to whether you wanted it portrait or landscape. I was just browsing through the apps on the desktop when our food arrived, a; present and correct and in under 5 minutes.

Of course we at the tablet tables as Miss Hap wanted to play, so I chose the Logo game which we did extremely well at.

What a bizarre experience, though, playing on a tablet with greasy fingers seemed wrong to me (all this brand new and shiny equipment getting all mucked up)! Not only that but isn’t eating together supposed to be a social experience? Granted we were all playing the game together but it was a bit odd, seeing as at home whilst sitting around the table eating, technology is banned! (I am the worst offender with my laptop).

I cannot decide whether it is a good thing or a bad thing!

Episode 54: Nobody Likes A Smart Arse! — November 23, 2014

Episode 54: Nobody Likes A Smart Arse!

Oh how I wish I wasn’t such a dunce with technology. Don’t get me wrong, I know my way around a computer (at least enough to be able to use the basics for home and work), and I can manage to call and text from my mobile phone (aren’t I clever)?! but that is just about all I can do, and I feel like I am not only missing out, but lagging behind!

I’m sick of everything being ‘smart’! Phones, TVs, you name it, ‘smart’ is the thing to be. Well that’s all well and good, but when you have a bloody idiot like me trying to use these things, I am well and truly outwitted, and have to rely on others (Mr Grump and Miss Hap are both very tech savvy) to help me work things out, as I am  certainly not smart enough!

Take my mobile for example; I remember trying to video Miss Hap’s Sports Day on it.  When she won the skipping race (I was so thrilled, especially as she managed not to trip over the rope like I would have done) and I thought I had captured her triumph on  my phone. Looking at the footage, it was shaky, several people’s heads are in the way at times, and it seemed like I was about a mile away from the action. I don’t like to mess about with any settings, but apparently I could have zoomed in a bit more to actually SEE my daughter’s features!

Our super-duper 3D TV with its superior intelligence, also mocks my ham-fisted attempts to utilise it properly. I know it has the internet, and I can synch it up with my laptop, should I wish to. I did wish to actually, I had just got the Sims 4 (I know it’s a dreadful addiction, but I’ve given up the fags and sweet food, so am allowed one vice) and I was told that I could play my game on the laptop,but somehow project it onto the TV screen which I thought would be great.I will never know though because I can’t bloody do it and neither can the other two!

That brings me to the laptop, or more generally the Internet. Oh the wonders of the web; the things you can do; the fun you can have. Well I want to have a bit of a rant actually because I can’t do things; it’s not for want of trying though. I try to teach myself, I get tutorials, I look at help pages, I ask others, but no, I am still a disaster.

Now that I have really got into blogging, I have been trying to tweak my website a bit to make it look a little more polished, I have seen some wonderful blogs which are so professional  looking, with links here and separate pages there! Oh how I envy them, I tried creating a  new Facebook profile just for my blog, but realised it’s not really going to work unless I use my actual name as I won’t be able to add my friends! After all, I have now actually put a pic up (brace yourselves)!

I think I’m going to have to bite the bullet, and get my daughter to sit with me to help my poor brain  understand the fundamentals of being ‘smart’. I don’t want my stupidity being taken advantage of by all this clever technology!

Episode 18: Modern Wonders — October 8, 2014

Episode 18: Modern Wonders

Where would we be without all the modern technology that is literally at our fingertips? .Computers, mobile phones, the Internet, tablets and a whole host of other gadgets that are designed to make communication easier, are now firmly integrated into the majority of our lives,….

Take mobile phones for example, Many people seldom leave home without it, after all, it is so much more than just a phone…You can listen to music on it, take photos and videos with it, catch up with what your friends are doing, by logging onto social networking sites,(plus do many more things I don’t understand) and and even, at a push actually TALK to someone on it!!

How excited I was when I saw one of the first mobiles. They looked a little ungainly, being the size of a house brick, but what a great idea they seemed to be. Fancy being able to talk to someone when you were in the middle of nowhere! Things quickly progressed and they became more widely available, I remember them as being a bit of a status symbol at first, and although they were not as huge as when they first came out, they were still pretty hefty! For some reason, those lucky enough to have one in the early days,(usually men),  would strut around, showing off their mobiles, which were normally on a clip dangling from a belt loop at the waist (could be a bit dodgy if they hit in the wrong place as they were pretty chunky and heavy)!!

I couldn’t wait to get one it was not always easy or convenient to find a public phone box that either hadn’t been vandalised, or stank of piss (or worse) or that actually worked! It was so frustrating trying to ring someone, especially when I was still school age, only to manage to get through, hear the pips going to put the money in, then for it to bounce back out again, landing on the floor, and by the time you had picked it up, you had been cut off! Reversing the charges to our house was NOT an option, unless it was a dire emergency.

Now of course, things are so different, and although better in many ways, mobiles can be rather annoying (or at least the people using them are)! I can’t bear it when people are listening to music with their headphones on,and all you can hear is this tinny, scratchy noise; also it does seem rather rude when you are trying to talk to someone and they have their head down texting away to someone, or worse yet, receive an ‘important call’ mid conversation with you and then start chatting loudly to the person on the other end, whilst you are left hanging mid sentence, feeling awkward..

Computers also have come a very long way over the years, At first they were pretty basic, but how clever they were, It didn’t matter if you made a mistake typing a letter out, you could edit it before printing, PLUS plug a joystick in, and you have a games console, how amazing was that! Then came something truly spectacular, way beyond the limits of my imagination,,,,THE INTERNET!!

Ooooh the tension waiting  to see whether or not it would actually connect…. the racket it made when the modem dialled up the connection (Dead give away if you were up half the night on it, and you were supposed to be asleep in bed) then the wonder as you finally got online…..wow, all the things you could do. e-mail, I mean can you believe it? You get send a message to someone on the other side of the world and it would arrived almost instantaneously! What was even more outstanding in my opinion was the first time I spoke to my brother and his family who lived in Malaysia and they even had a CAMERA so I could see them as well! My Mum was beyond disbelief when she saw them all in the little box that came up. No matter that it kept freezing or disconnecting, it was almost like magic to her!

Yes technology is fantastic. It enables us to stay connected to each other in so many ways. We don’t even have to talk to anyone if we don’t want to..a text or e-mail, or perhaps instant message will do the job! We have all got loads of ‘friends’ on various social networking sites, and people have even formed lasting relationships that started off online. We don’t even have to go shopping either if we don’t feel like it! Most supermarkets deliver groceries, and nearly everything else can be ordered online and posted out to you.

There is a lot to be said for technology..it certainly can make our busy lives so much easier in many ways….but, the pleasure of opening a hand-written letter, (trying to decipher the shaky handwriting), on fancy writing paper, or those little notelets, is now becoming lost to text and e-mail. Instead of ‘Thank you’ notes or phone calls for gifts that were sent, there is now usually a text, which, is fine, although a little less personal.

I do love all my gadgets, and they have certainly made my life easier in many ways…. I do miss those old red phone boxes though!!!!

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