Today I’m feeling a little bit sorry for myself!! I have given up unhealthy foods and cigarettes for almost a week now, and it seems that temptation is lurking everywhere, just waiting for me to give in to it.

This morning I really fancied a cigarette,, even though I had my patch on, it did not seem to crush the craving.  I tried to put it out of my mind and set off for work. I noticed that there were two smokers in today, as a few people have recently given up, there are only a handful left. Normally the smokers go to first break together as they are usually desperate for a cigarette, and today was no different. Except for the fact that I had now given up,.. but I went with the smokers anyway.

As we have to hide away in wooded areas to smoke, or go to the bench under the trees, it can get a bit chilly at times. Normally this is water off a duck’s back to a hardened smoker (wind, hail, torrential rain, you name it I have been stood outside in it), but today the wind seemed particularly bitter so I suggested that we sit in my car…

What a dunce I am! I have spent a week trying to get rid of the smell of smoke from my car, clothes and everywhere else, and here I am actively encouraging them to pollute my lovely fresh smelling car..I had even removed the ashtrays that were in there. Still I resisted the urge to join them, and had just breathed in their smoke instead!!!

Feeling rather proud of myself that I had passed one of the challenges I knew I would be facing in quitting the cigarettes; next time I would join the non smokers in the canteen, where it is warm and dry! I went back to work after break, only to find that one of our patient’s relatives had bought some rather nice biscuits for the staff to share… Even though I don’t usually buy biscuits myself (Mr Grump has a stash, but he gets the boring ones anyway, so I am not usually bothered) these biscuits looked rather delicious however,,, crumbly, chocolatey, they would be lovely dunked in my coffee, but no, they are forbidden.

I ended up getting home from work late, absolutely starving , and was looking forward to dinner, which Mr Grump had made. I am not one for spicy food normally, and he had made something which was marinated in chilli and salt and it nearly took the roof of my mouth off, it was so HOT!! I gulped down some water, to try to quell the heat, and managed to finish off the meal.

Just after dinner, Miss Hap had gone upstairs to do her homework, when she was shouting down excitedly, “The Ice Cream Van is here, can I have one please?” I thought he had hibernated for the winter, but agreed that she could have one. Back she came with a double chocolate cornett, plus swirl of Mr Whippy ice cream on top, and a flake shoved in the side, all dripping with chocolate sauce. I WANTED THAT ICE CREAM! Not only would it taste delicious, but it would soothe the inferno that was still raging from the chilli. I have to admit that I  persuaded Miss Hap to let me have the very tip of the swirl on top, and it did taste good!

I know I am being really silly, in craving these things that are not good for me anyway, but forbidden fruit always tastes sweeter, so the saying goes, and I am not one who likes to miss out!

I’m consoling myself that in 6 months time I will hopefully be slimmer, fitter and healthier, but in the meantime, I will probably end up giving Mr Grump a run for his money, when it comes to moaning and complaining!!!

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