Mr Grump came home carrying a huge bag a week or so ago. Being curious, I poked my nose into the bag to discover that he had bought a second-hand telescope. I was quite excited about this as I would love to get a closer look at the night sky, and see the moon and starts in more detail.I just had to wait for a clear night to be able to use it…..

My patience paid off, and tonight is a beautiful clear night, with a 3/4 moon and a generous sprinkling of starts for me to wonder at. Mr Grump dug about in the shed, came back with the bag and emptied the contents onto the front room floor so we could assemble it.

The body of the telescope was about 4ft long and 6 inches wide, plus there were all these little lenses and mini scope like bits, and finally the tripod with cogs and dials on it!  Wow, this was going to be good, and Miss Hap will enjoy it too. The only thing that was missing though were the bloody instructions!

Mr Grump brushed off this little inconvenience and being pretty resourceful, got the tripod set up with no problem. He then attached the large  body piece. and started screwing little bits and pieces on here and there.

I took this opportunity to get myself wrapped up against the freezing weather and put on a few more layers, encouraging Miss Hap to do the same. Meanwhile Mr Grump had carted the whole telescope ensemble out to the back garden and was twirling knobs, looking intensely at the moon trying to get it into focus.

Miss Hap and I waited….and waited for him to get a good view; I decided that we might as well wait for a bit until he called us, so as not to distract him, Sure enough after a few minutes he called us. Excitedly I craned my neck and stood on tiptoe (not being very tall) trying to look through the eyepiece. I ooohed and aahed but could only really see about 1cm of white light! I beckoned my daughter to have a look which she did. I held her hand to keep her balanced as she strained to see. Just as she saw it, she managed to kick the tripod, sending the telescope plummeting downwards.

Mr Grump grabbed it, glared at us two who were giggling, and set about re-focusing it, only this time, lowering the tripod a bit first so that we could actually see through it. I did finally get to see the moon this time, but although I could pick out a couple of craters, was not overly impressed, as I was expecting more!

Anyway, I asked him to train it on a star, this time. It took him ages to find one (I don’t know why. the sky was full of them), He then hogged the telescope for ages! I asked him to let me have a look as I was getting cold and had already been waiting ages (I am not known for my patience). He decided that he would change the lens so I could see it better. then promptly lost sight of it altogether!

I stomped back into the warmth of the front room, and left M Grump to disassemble the lot and pack it away back in the shed (Miss Hap had already scarpered off bored).

I need a bog standard telescope I think. These fancy ones with all the bells and whistles on, are all very nice and all that, but dunces like me can’t cope with complicated!

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