Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 411: Nice Sales Pitch! — July 11, 2015

Episode 411: Nice Sales Pitch!

As some of you may know, we are in the midst of a heat wave at the moment here in the UK, and of course some of us are suffering due to the heat, which quite frankly we are not used to.

I am not going to moan about the weather this time, just tell you a couple of funny stories. The first one was on Thursday afternoon. I came home from work and Mr Grump was out, he had finished a little before me and my sister and niece had phoned him up to see if he wanted to join them at a local pub for a pint.

Never one to miss such an opportunity, he jumped at the chance. After all, a nice refreshing beer in this heat is rather welcome. The pub is recently under new management and they are doing their best to encourage some more punters in, offering SKY Sports TV, showing all the football, and a new menu .However, their biggest boast was the fact that they are ‘doing their bit for the regulars in this heat wave by watering down the beer!’

I was working today and as I have mentioned it is stifling hot up on the ward, and everyone moans about it (we are allowed to go tightless now though). Relatives are hot and flustered, and staff are dripping with sweat (literally) and florid of face!

The only people who do not complain are the patients who relish the heat. Having said that, it was so hot up there today we actually had the windows open and none of the patients asked us to close them.

Around 10 o’clock whilst we are still trying to carry out our morning washes on the patients, (we have all got gloves & aprons on). we hear the dreaded sound of ‘ne-ner-ne-ner STAGE 1 ALERT.’ Oh no, not the bloody fire alarm! This means that there could be a fire on the same floor but not necessarily near our ward. It does mean however that we have to go around and shut every window and door as a precaution!

To say that was rather a fraught half hour until we were told to ‘STAND DOWN’ would be rather an understatement!

Free-For-All Friday #19 — July 10, 2015

Free-For-All Friday #19

Fridays are coming around so quickly it seems at the moment and here we are will into July, and the midst of a beautiful summer.

I have some wonderful blogs to share with you this week, that will make your Friday even better! There is a mixed bag of goodies as usual,some funny, some inspirational, but of course, all brilliant in their own way. Please check out these blogs if you have not already done so, as you really don’t want to miss out on some of the other posts that they have written!

10 Years A Single Mom A heartfelt and heartwarming post from a loving mother. This blog is all about spreading the love!

John D Eccles This post did make me laugh. I like the style it is written in, and the self-deprecating humour. The poor hapless husband, who tries hard!

Fill Your Own Glass The lovely and wise Karen has written a great post here which, although makes lots of sense, many of us still do not put it into practice.

Little Miss Menopause This post, although not on Stephanie’s actual blog, was written by her for an online article. It is a beautiful story of a real act of love.

Runaway Nuns And Leprechauns A fun post that I really enjoyed. so cute!

So there is a small selection for you to get stuck into and enjoy!

Happy Friday! 🙂

Episode 410: A Colourful Life. — July 9, 2015

Episode 410: A Colourful Life.

As I am sure many of you know, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge had their daughter Princess Charlotte christened over the weekend. Today has seen the release of the official photographs, which I just happened upon as I was reading the online newspaper.

What made me laugh is the newspaper had some ‘etiquette expert’ analyse it, and he came to the conclusion that the Middletons (Catherine’s family),are very ‘middle class!’ This is due to them mostly choosing beige as the colour of their outfits, which is neutral and therefore not offensive to anybody! Likewise the walls of the room the photo was taken were also beige. As this was the Queen’s private residence in Norfolk, I bet she would also rank as middle-classed.

God knows how a colour can define your social standing, but I can only imagine how low in the pecking order I would be as I love colour! Especially as it is the summer time. Yellow is my favourite colour, but I love orange and red, gold and silver, lime green, mint green, anything that is bright and cheerful.

Think of all the beautiful flowers and their vibrant colours, I don’t know about you but looking at them really lifts my mood. I understand that loud, garish colours are not always appropriate, but neither is bland old beige!

Episode 409: #BeWoW Post: Community. — July 8, 2015

Episode 409: #BeWoW Post: Community.

I have noticed that there have not been any BeWoW prompts for a little while now. I like doing these posts as it is great to focus on something positive. Just writing a post focusing on the positive can lift the mood, as does reading them. So I have decided that today I am going to talk about something that makes me happy which is out very own blogging community.

For me, this has been one of the best things of all about blogging, The wonderful people that I have been able to interact with, some on a daily basis. There are still a few people that I have ‘met’ right at the beginning who I am still in regular contact with. It is fascinating to see how our respective blogs have changed and grown over that time, yet we still have that strong connection with each other.

I am privileged to have met so many people through WordPress that have taught me so much as well. I have some lovely new author friends, and have read a couple of books that I may not have been aware of if it wasn’t for my blog! I have got a few lined up as well to keep me going for a while.

I have been introduced to the haiku as well. There is a fantastic community that participate in the weekly challenge, and everyone is supportive, and kind. I love to see how everyone else interprets the prompt words each week, as much as I love to have a go at it myself!

There  are poets, musicians, writers, story-tellers, people who are so creative and crafty, wonderful cooks and chefs, farmers, people who deal with mental illness sharing their triumphs and troubles, teachers. It’s like having a living encyclopaedia; if I want to know about something, I am pretty sure one of my blogging friends would have the answer!

I love the fact that due to the various time differences, there is always someone online, new posts to read, people to interact with, who offer support and encouragement! It is somewhere where someone like me, who is pretty awkward in social situations, feels like they belong and are accepted despite being a bit of a klutz!

Episode 408: One-Liner Wednesday —

Episode 408: One-Liner Wednesday

‘If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right places.’

This post was inspired by LindaGHill

Episode 407: Wacky Word Wednesday #9 —

Episode 407: Wacky Word Wednesday #9

I am in the mood for another wacky, weird or wonderful word, and seeing as it is Wednesday, I’m in luck as I can get to resurrect one that is not used often enough. Today’s offering, sounds very old-fashioned and rather lofty, but I love it.

Flabbergast. This word amazes and dazes, confounds and dumbfounds. It’s a ‘you could have knocked me down with at feather’ type of word; shock and surprise follows it wherever it goes. In fact in can be strong enough to startle or stun the unsuspecting.

It is news that can appal and enthrall, as well as overawe, being both frightful and delightful.  Hmmm, that sounds a bit like me, depending what mood I am in!

Episode 406 : Tuesday Tidbit – Euphemisms 18+ — July 7, 2015

Episode 406 : Tuesday Tidbit – Euphemisms 18+

For today’s Tidbit post, I have decided to forego writing a poem as I have done for the previous couple of Tuesdays, and have decided to go for a bit of humour instead. (This heatwave is already far too hot for me to be adding it, by writing anything too raunchy)!

What I thought I would do is write a few of the popular euphemisms for sex that we use. be they coy or coarse, just for a bit of fun!

Rumpy-pumpy, and hanky-panky. – They sound so childish but I do love a rhyme.

Having a bit of ‘how’s your father’ – Very Carry On!

Slap and tickle – This sounds a little on the 50 Shades spectrum if you ask me!

Assault with a friendly weapon – God, how cringeworthy!

Bonking or humping – these just make me laugh.

Shagging – Yeah Baby! Very Austin Powers.

Making looooove – That always seems a bit smarmy to me, and a bit too smooth, very Mills and Boon! (I am more of a Jilly Cooper/Jackie Collins type of girl myself)!!!

Rogering – Very British!

Shafting or screwing – these sound too painful, as well as a bit DIY!

Dipping the wick – Sounds gross!

Which one is your favourite, or is it something totally different?

Episode: 405: Ronovan’s Writes Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt Challenge #52: Silent and Loud! — July 6, 2015

Episode: 405: Ronovan’s Writes Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt Challenge #52: Silent and Loud!

Firstly. congratulations and Happy Anniversary to the weekly haiku challenge set up by Ronovan.

I have really started getting into these and always look forward to Wednesdays!  We have ‘silent’ and ‘loud’ this week. There were several ways I could have gone with it but I settled on this in the end!

Any likeness to Mr Grump is purely deliberate!!

You sit in silence:

your expression speaks volumes

which is LOUD and clear!

Episode 404: New Experiences. — July 5, 2015

Episode 404: New Experiences.

I haven’t told any of you this yet (well apart from Hugh in an e-mail), but for the last couple of months I have been writing some articles for a relatively new online magazine called Writing Times.

Ever since I started this blog back in November, I have become more and more obsessed with writing. and I especially love doing those wacky news articles such as this one (which I actually did for the magazine) and this as well. I have written them under my real name Judy Martin as I wanted to do something as ‘me’ so to speak!

Anyway, this magazine has all sorts from an agony aunt, to reviews, recipes, Flash Fiction competitions and loads of other great stuff. I wanted to gain some experience in writing, so contacted them to see if I could do anything for them, and am now part of a great team.

They are always looking for new writers in all sorts of topics, so if you too are looking to get some experience (I am really enjoying myself digging around for new stuff to write about) then perhaps you would like to contact them here.

Episode 403: Proud Mummy! — July 4, 2015

Episode 403: Proud Mummy!

Ah, the school report. I remember being given an envelope addressed to my mum near the end of term which I knew contained the dreaded school report. Back in ‘those days’ things were pretty simple. You were given A B C D E  as a grade for your school work. This might be followed by a + or a  –  but all in all, very easy to understand! If you got an A you were doing well, and an E meant you were in the shit, both at home and at school!

I never got many As unfortunately, except in English (because I liked it). I got by mostly on Bs and Cs which of course meant that I always got comments on my report such as ‘could do better’ and that kind of thing. Mum was a little disappointed (Dad more so when and if I ever told him) but I just did not like that school.

Anyway, Miss Hap goes to the same school but luckily for her, she is not blighted by my lacklustre results as all of the teachers have left since I was there. I received her report by e-mail! I got a notification that it was up on the school website and that I could log in to see it.

I managed to do it this time thankfully as it saved me the humiliation of e-mailing the school back and forth when I could not even log on last term,and had problems being able to read it in the right programme!

Gone are the days of the good old grading system and now we are graded with a number and a letter. For example 6A, 5C, that sort of thing. plus another number from 1-4 for ‘attitude to learning!’ It is all a bit confusing for me; especially as I still refer to her as a 1st year  rather than being in year 7 (why the hell they had to change all that. I really don’t know, especially as we still have a sixth form, which I am assuming would be a year 15 or some such nonsense)!

Anyway, Miss Hap has had a pretty bumpy first year, with more than a few setbacks, some more serious than others, but all of them upsetting. This meant that we have also been to the school for meetings on a few occasions, and have got to know a couple of staff members quite well. (I have to say they have been brilliant).

I was delighted to see that Miss Hap had done particularly well in Art. Now she says she cannot draw and has got herself in a state about it, She also at first, did not score that high in the subject due to lack of confidence. You can imagine how proud I am when she had a glowing report with her teacher saying how far she has come and how much she is applying herself to it. I was so pleased with her last Art homework, she spent so much time on it (the picture is the end result) and it paid off!

She also came top in German with 82% as she absolutely loves it! Considering the fact that she has a lot of self-confidence issues, and has struggled socially at school, I am extremely proud of her. It is not so much being top, it is overcoming the fact that she felt she couldn’t do something, but stuck at it and proved that she could!

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