2014-11-24T05:13:02+00:00

Author: Judy E Martin

Hello, and thanks for stopping by. I am Judy, in my (very) early fifties and decided that life definitely gets more interesting as it goes on! I am a wife and a mum and have just finished University as a Registered Nurse, after having worked as an Associate Practitioner in the NHS. I am also a poet and the author of my debut book, 'Rhymes of the Times.' I love to laugh, and I love rhyming words too, so I joined the two together, and my book was born. I am currently working on another book in the series also. I am a prolific blogger and enjoy writing funny stories, anecdotes, and anything really that takes my fancy.

Episode 55: Raining on My Parade….

November 24, 2014/Judy E Martin/2 Comments

I was feeling a little heavy-headed when I got up yesterday; not really ‘with-it’, and lacking in energy and enthusiasm. Looking outside didn’t help matters either; grey, damp. miserable, just like my mood actually!…

I had wanted to try to do a bit of Christmas shopping, you know, be organised for once. Usually it is a maniacal, crazed dash around, last-minute panic buying , competing with the rest of the no-hopers who have disorganised lives. Not this year…I’m going to be one of those annoying people who have wrapped everything up (both figuratively and literally) by December 1st!! Shame, I just wasn’t in the mood for it though…..

Miss Hap had been staying over at Nanny’s, and when asked if she wanted to come with us, sensibly declined our offer. So Mr Grump and I put on our new matching ‘His n Hers’ waterproof jackets that he got us(actually they are more like ‘His n His’ jackets as mine is rather large as well as masculine looking, but it keeps the rain out) and ventured out into the lashing rain!

We got to the town centre and it was quite deserted which was nice (not everyone was as keen to get soaked as we were). The Christmas lights had been turned on Saturday, and it was looking very festive through the rain (It was a big disappointment as most towns get a ‘celebrity’ turning on their lights, we got Postman Pat! I know he is a celebrity in his own right to the under 5’s, but for the rest of us,a bit of a let-down)! I tried putting my hood up as the rain was getting heavier, but it totally blocked out my vision,(seeing as it was a bit on the massive side). Mr Grump fussed about with it, and sight restored, we headed to some shops further in the town.

After a while I decided I needed a coffee, and as Mr Grump is back smoking again (busted)! we went to a cafe with tables and chairs outside. I went in to get the drinks and when I came out Mr Grump had bagged a table that had a parasol, so we enjoyed our coffee outside; only getting half soaked, as opposed to completely drenched if there had been no shelter. Suitably refreshed we traipsed off again. Suffice to say, we didn’t end up getting ANY Christmas shopping, I just couldn’t summon up enough motivation, plus I didn’t fancy getting bogged down with loads of bags, which would get soggy with the rain. We did however, get an extension lead, so we have enough space to plug in all the Christmas lights (when we can be bothered to put them up)! See, I AM getting organised.

Mr Grump then wanted to drag me to the Supermarket as of course we needed groceries. He didn’t think it fair for some reason, to drive all the way home, drop me off, then go out again on his own, so I huffily went with him. It was packed in there; obviously it is THE place to be on filthy Sunday morning.It took ages getting what we needed, but finally we went back to the car, and, as is the norm, I got in whilst Mr Grump opened the boot, ready to unpack the shopping from the trolley…I was cold and crabby, and huddled down in my seat. I happened to glance up, out of the window, and saw Mr Grump haring off! Our trolley nowhere in sight. It must have rolled off whilst he was round the back of the car.

Sure enough, he came back pushing the errant trolley. It was still bucketing down with rain, and poor old Mr Grump was looking a little bedraggled. Well, if anything was going to put a smile on my face, then this was it. My shoulders were shaking as I watched him viciously manhandle the trolley to the back of the car, and start shoving everything in. I cackled as he muttered under his breath, and guffawed as he got in next to me and ranted! That cheered me up!

Episode 54: Nobody Likes A Smart Arse!

November 23, 2014/Judy E Martin/5 Comments

Oh how I wish I wasn’t such a dunce with technology. Don’t get me wrong, I know my way around a computer (at least enough to be able to use the basics for home and work), and I can manage to call and text from my mobile phone (aren’t I clever)?! but that is just about all I can do, and I feel like I am not only missing out, but lagging behind!

I’m sick of everything being ‘smart’! Phones, TVs, you name it, ‘smart’ is the thing to be. Well that’s all well and good, but when you have a bloody idiot like me trying to use these things, I am well and truly outwitted, and have to rely on others (Mr Grump and Miss Hap are both very tech savvy) to help me work things out, as I am certainly not smart enough!

Take my mobile for example; I remember trying to video Miss Hap’s Sports Day on it. When she won the skipping race (I was so thrilled, especially as she managed not to trip over the rope like I would have done) and I thought I had captured her triumph on my phone. Looking at the footage, it was shaky, several people’s heads are in the way at times, and it seemed like I was about a mile away from the action. I don’t like to mess about with any settings, but apparently I could have zoomed in a bit more to actually SEE my daughter’s features!

Our super-duper 3D TV with its superior intelligence, also mocks my ham-fisted attempts to utilise it properly. I know it has the internet, and I can synch it up with my laptop, should I wish to. I did wish to actually, I had just got the Sims 4 (I know it’s a dreadful addiction, but I’ve given up the fags and sweet food, so am allowed one vice) and I was told that I could play my game on the laptop,but somehow project it onto the TV screen which I thought would be great.I will never know though because I can’t bloody do it and neither can the other two!

That brings me to the laptop, or more generally the Internet. Oh the wonders of the web; the things you can do; the fun you can have. Well I want to have a bit of a rant actually because I can’t do things; it’s not for want of trying though. I try to teach myself, I get tutorials, I look at help pages, I ask others, but no, I am still a disaster.

Now that I have really got into blogging, I have been trying to tweak my website a bit to make it look a little more polished, I have seen some wonderful blogs which are so professional looking, with links here and separate pages there! Oh how I envy them, I tried creating a new Facebook profile just for my blog, but realised it’s not really going to work unless I use my actual name as I won’t be able to add my friends! After all, I have now actually put a pic up (brace yourselves)!

I think I’m going to have to bite the bullet, and get my daughter to sit with me to help my poor brain understand the fundamentals of being ‘smart’. I don’t want my stupidity being taken advantage of by all this clever technology!

Episode 53: Our Pet Pooch!

November 22, 2014/Judy E Martin/2 Comments

Although my parents had a dog when I was younger, I’ve never had one myself, until 2 years ago when Roxy came into our family…..

I had mentioned to Mr Grump that I would love to have a dog; he loves all animals so was definitely in agreement. We also thought it would be lovely for Miss Hap to have a pet to love and learn how to look after. Of course, we wanted to make sure that we got the right dog for us, that would fit into our family, and that we would be able to give the right care to.I had also done a bit of research online as well, to see what types of dog were good with children, and amongst my favourites were the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.

We decided that we wanted to get a rescue dog if possible, as there are so many pets that need re-homing. We contacted a few centres locally but they mostly had large dogs or staffies, which I didn’t think would be right for us. I e-mailed one centre and asked to be considered if they had any small dogs that needed placing, left my contact details and left it at that.

About a fortnight later when I got in from work Mr Grump asked me to phone the rescue centre which I did. They informed me that a young mum with 5 kids,and a puppy that she couldn’t take care of as it was too boisterous! She needed them to come and get it NOW before she dumped it. The rescue centre asked if I would be interested which of course I was. All she knew was that it was a Cavalier King Charles spaniel puppy, just what we were looking for. I contacted the woman direct who invited us to come and see her. we were straight on the motorway and an hour later met little Roxy for the first time…..

We were all instantly smitten with her. She was so excited to see us, jumping up at us, tail going like the clappers; she had actually been very well looked after, she was microchipped and had all her injections; the harassed woman just came to the end of her tether as she had so much going on! We ended up taking her home with us that evening along with all of her paraphernalia! The rescue centre were amazed when we told them, but thrilled that Roxy had got a new loving home.

On the journey home, Roxy snuggled into my lap, and was as good as gold. She settled in with us so quickly it was unbelievable.Mr Grump took charge of feeding her and taking her out for walks, and Roxy absolutely adores him! About a week after getting her we took her to the beach. I went in for a swim with my sister and her labrador Milo came bounding in after us. Two minutes later I saw this little face and flapping ears working its way towards me, Roxy wanted to join in.

Of course, she soon knew how to get around Mr Grump, and he spoils her rotten! She sits on his lap in the evenings and trots off after him everywhere, as she knows that she will often get an extra treat, looking up at him with her beguiling eyes. She sleeps in our room (her little bed didn’t last long), but always noses into Miss Hap’s room before bed to make sure she is ok!

She does get a little jealous though if Mr Grump shows affection to anyone (or anything else). If I ever dare to sit with Mr Grump then she will either turn her back on us, and sulk, or she will paw at me trying to get me away! She doesn’t like being late for her walk either and if Mr Grump thinks he might get a sneaky lie-in on the weekend he is very much mistaken. She will jump on his head to wake him up, then race downstairs and bark at the coat rack until he gets his jacket on to go out.

I feel so blessed that we have Roxy in our lives… it was such a coincidence how we came to get her, and I am so pleased that she is now a member of our family.

Episode 52: Optimistically Pessimistic!

November 21, 2014/Judy E Martin/Leave a comment

I’m afraid I am one of life’s worriers. If I have something to worry about then so much the better, if not I will just worry because things are going well, and that always means that something bad is about to happen! I have tried to change my ways, even on occasion, being positive, but to no avail. It just doesn’t suit me being a ‘glass half-full’ type of person!

Now don’t get me wrong, being a worrier does not equate to being a miserable sod. Far from it (although I am one of those unfortunate people who has the type of face that complete strangers feel the need to say to me, “Cheer up love, it may never happen)” well actually it has now they have said that to me for no reason, but I laugh it off through gritted teeth, as to come out with a rude reply would have ME worrying that I have offended THEM!

I worry when I meet new people because I am usually a little quiet until I get to know someone A couple of years ago I applied for University as part of my job role. I didn’t know any of the other 25 students who were going to be studying with me, and my God didn’t I worry about that!…Would I be the oldest student there? Would I appear stupid as I am so quiet? All this kind of stuff would run through my head. However it didn’t stop me going for it, and I made some really good friends, AND even gave presentations in front of the group (we had no choice, but I did it)!

I worry about my daughter constantly. She tends to say exactly what she thinks, and it can (and does) get her into trouble sometimes. She has problems understanding diplomacy and tact, and struggles to understand what effect her words might have on people’s feelings (She has Asperger’s).Last night at her school’s ‘academic review’ one of her teachers was asking her how she enjoyed ‘Community Day’ (The school is divided up into various communities and once a month they do fun activities and games) “I can’t even remember it” sulked my daughter who was mad because she didn’t want to go to her review. Mr Grump and I cringed as she gave one monotonous answer after another, being deliberately obtuse to make everyone aware of her displeasure at being dragged along. She didn’t even cheer up when she was praised for her achievements! This of course made me worry what the teacher must have thought of us, as well as how I was going to teach my daughter that some things in life have to be endured, with good grace, and a bit of enthusiasm! After all, we were all there for her benefit.

Being clumsy of course, has its own disadvantages when you are a worrier like me. I have lost count of the times I have made a grand entrance, rather than the subtle one I would have preferred, due to the fact that I have tripped over something which has led to me stumbling headlong into the room. On one occasion at work I had gone into a side room to dress an old lady’s badly ulcerated legs. She was not the most timid of patients and liked to speak her mind. Anyway, I spent a long time ensuring a made a good job of the legs, and that she was comfortable. As I was cleaning the metal equipment trolley I had used afterwards, I misaligned the top tray so that it landed with a clatter and an almighty crash to the floor, startling us both, . “Get out of here you noisy bitch” raged my patient!

I know that to some extent, everyone worries about something, after all it is human nature. I just wish that I could lighten up a bit at times, and just ‘go with the flow’ instead of over-analysing things, and making something out of nothing. I long to breeze through life without a care…but I know that even if my glass was half full rather than half empty, I would probably knock it over anyway!

I would love to know if there are any other worriers out there!

Episode 51: Ode to NaBloPoMo

November 20, 2014/Judy E Martin/12 Comments

I set myself a challenge

To write a post a day

For the whole month of November

Well, I have a lot to say!

I started pretty strongly

My brain was in top form

The words were flowing freely

Was this going to be the norm?

I followed other bloggers

And commented on their work

So many talented people

Makes me feel like a jerk!

For I am still a novice

And have such a long way to go

My creative juices are ebbing

And it’s still NaBloPoMo!

I’ve looked for inspiration

But it hasn’t come my way

So now I’m going to struggle

To write a post a day!

I’m not going to fail this

I can’t, I’ve just begun

But these words of desperation

Means that today’s post has been done!

Episode 50: Rebel Yell…..

November 19, 2014/Judy E Martin/2 Comments

When I was in my mid 30’s, I had just got out of a very unhealthy 10 year marriage. My ex was pretty controlling as a husband, and being young, inexperienced (and scared) I became very subservient to him; so when I finally plucked up the courage to divorce him rebellion was on my mind!

Never again was I going to kowtow to anyone, so for the first time in a decade, I actually went out drinking with my family, wearing make-up AND a reasonably short skirt (not too short you understand, I was no spring chicken anymore)! I just wanted to do some of the things that had been denied to me throughout my marriage, that ‘normal’ people my age did!

At the time piercings and tattoos were really becoming popular. Oooh. I quite fancied the idea of getting my nose pierced, and now there was no-one to stop me, so I headed off into town excitedly to get the job done. A couple of teenagers were before me, and I was impressed at how quick and painless the whole procedure seemed to be. I felt a bit of an old crock compared to them but hey, this was going to be the new me and now it was my turn. I stood patiently as the little felt tip dot was drawn on my left nostril where it was going to be pierced, and was prepared to get my new pretty nose stud. “OOWWWWWW SHIIIIIIT that bloody hurt” I bellowed at the poor bloke who had just punctured my nose. My eyes were streaming, my nose was snotty, (that really set off my new jewellery perfectly) and I was in agony!

I felt sorry for myself all the way back to my parent’s house where I was staying. My nose was red and painful, as were my eyes. I went to the kitchen to show my Mum (she is pretty old school and very traditional) “What the bloody hell have you gone and done to your nose. You’re not a bloody teenager for Christ’s sake” . So much for the compliment!. She didn’t speak to me for about a week and avoided looking at me in case she caught a glimpse of the offending nose stud (I was in my 30s for crying out loud)!!!

A few months after this I went to Dorset with one of my brothers and his family. We were staying in a house not too far away from where my Dad lived, and we were going to meet up with him and step-mum on the beach a bit later….Anyway, me and my sister-in-law had to go somewhere first! I have known her since I was 11 years old, and she is like another sister, We had been talking, and both of us decided that we rather liked the idea of getting a tattoo. We knew there was a place by the beach and we wanted to call in to have a look.

My brother took the kids off to the beach and we both tentatively entered the tattoo parlour. It had only just opened for the day, so we were the only two in there. I loved a design of a dolphin (I knew i would get something that reminded me of the sea) and after a bit of to-ing and fro-ing decided that I would get it done. My sister-in-law was still contemplating whether or not she was brave enough, so I offered to go first and said I would tell her if it hurt!

I accompanied the tattooist into a little room off the waiting area. I decided I was going to have the tattoo on my lower back so had to sit the wrong way round astride a chair with my top off so he could do it. If I thought having my nose pierced hurt , that was just a little scratch compared to this pain! I was squirming and writhing about which annoyed the tattooist, who kept telling me to keep still.The next thing is the door opened and an assistant walked in, In the brief few seconds the door was open I could see my sister-in-law in the waiting room and not wanting to scare her, I contorted my features into a smile (more of a grimace really) and eventually the tattoo was completed.

My sister-in-law was brave enough to get a small one done on her shoulder, and both of us came out of there with a bloody great white dressing over the tattoos which had to be kept on until the evening. We walked down to the beach in the brilliant sunlight and went to join the others. Dad was there already which was nice. Everyone was in and out of the sea having a great time. Dad questioned me as to why I wasn’t going in for a swim(very unlike me), Unfortunately, we had been told not to get the tattoo wet or expose it to the sun for a while. Stupidly we hadn’t thought to get them done at the end of our stay, and now we had to forego a lovely swim to cool off in the searing heat! I did actually bite the bullet and tell my dad what I had just done, expecting a lecture, but he thought it was great!

Needless to say, due to my extreme aversion to pain, and the fact that I am a total wimp, I have had no more piercings (I took the nose stud out after a few years) and neither have I had any more tattoos (although I do love my dolphin). If it involves any type of pain, then I decided that I am far too cowardly to be a rebel!!

Episode 49: Cleaning out my Closet!

November 18, 2014/Judy E Martin/4 Comments

I am in dire need of a wardrobe overhaul. This morning as I was carrying out the depressing task of finding something to wear, I came across a bright colourful top I hadn’t worn for ages. Instead of wearing the usual black (I am still sticking to the myth that it is more slimming), I thought I would live a little, and wear the top with some trousers that match it perfectly…..

I looked through the hangers jam-packed in my wardrobe for the trousers, but without success. Funny, I know they are in here somewhere. I looked again, more frantically this time…nope….now I was on a mission….finding those bloody trousers was of paramount importance! I pulled stuff out, ransacked the shelves…no trousers! They seem to have gone into that void where the odd socks, stray gloves, and favourite knickers go!

Perhaps now is the time to actually go through my wardrobes and drawers and chuck out some of the stuff I no longer need. As I was rifling through, I noticed sparkly tops that had lost a few sequins and also some of their lustre; some chunky knit cardigans that are a bit threadbare, bobbly jumpers, some lovely cream trousers( unfortunately 2 sizes too small now) plus a load of unflattering, clingy (in all the wrong places) dresses, not to mention some grubby, grotty looking t-shirts that had seen better days (probably back in the 1980s when they were new)!

My problem is I can’t bear to let go of things. As well as my bulging wardrobes, I have suitcases and bags of clothes in the loft, those space-saving bags full of clothes in the airing cupboard, and even a couple of bits I have stashed in Miss-Hap’s wardrobe! You never know when you might want to wear something again, so clothes I have loved in the past have been kept ‘just in case’!

I have got clothes in a full range of sizes, as my shape has altered over the years, The smaller items I kid myself that I will be able to fit into again one day, and the larger ones are worst case scenario for if I put weight on again! Along with my clothes I have got a load of handbags and shoes (as most women know, you can NEVER have enough shoes) in different styles and colours.

I know there is no way I will be able to wear some of those shoes anymore. For a start, I do not have the best track record for even being able to stand up in some of the sky-scraping heels I have, let alone attempt to walk in them. However, they are pretty and some are sparkly, so I need to keep hold of them for ‘special occasions’. Same with the bags. Although I only tend to use one or two, it is more a case of me being too lazy to keep changing over the entire contents from one bag to another. If I rectify this, then I can justify keeping the bags. Sorted!

For some reason, I have also got a drawer which is mainly for swimwear! Now when you have a figure like mine, the pink and white spotted bikini with big buttons, only looks good on the hanger or in my imagination; otherwise it just stays neglected in the swimwear drawer along with the sassy little brown candy stripe bikini, two tankinis and numerous ‘mumsy’ one-piece swimming costumes (that only come out at the swimming pool.).

I need to get myself motivated for the mammoth task, and try to be ruthless in culling my wardrobe and drawers. It’s not going to be easy though. I bet that I still end up talking myself out of getting rid of any of it!

I would love to know if I am in the minority with my cluttered cupboards; does anyone else have loads of clothes but ‘nothing to wear’ like me, or are you the types that have ‘capsule’ wardrobes and minimal clutter?

Episode 48: Dad Dancing….

November 17, 2014/Judy E Martin/7 Comments

I was thinking about my dad this morning, and what a character he was. Born and bred by the sea, he thought nothing of going swimming in all weathers. Rain never hampered him, in fact, he used to tell us kids that it was warmer in the water when it rained! That was certainly true in his case as he always wore the same pair of skimpy Speedo trunks (no daughter, or son for that matter,should have to see their dad in Speedos, but he would not be told)!

His idea of sun tan lotion was olive oil! Turning frequently in the sun, and slathered all over in grease, he roasted up a treat and was always a golden brown colour in the summer! As well as the dreaded Speedos, he also had a penchant for VERY short shorts, which he teemed with the obligatory ‘mandals’ (as I like to call them, you know, the strappy man sandals that look good on no-one)! This attire he would wear even into his early 80’s.

Aside from his love of swimming Dad loved to try and get the most out of life He and my step-mum would travel extensively all over the place and I have a lovely collection of postcards I received, with his indecipherable scrawl (it would normally take a couple of attempts at reading it before it sank in what he had written), detailing all the things they had been getting up to.

They also had a property in Spain where they lived for six months of the year to avoid the harsh English winters (who can blame them)! When they came back home though they had all these clubs that they went to, one of which was the ‘Recycled Teenagers Club.’ This was my dad to a tee.. He was always up for a challenge, and I remember him and my step-mum at one of my niece’s 18th birthday party. Someone (probably Dad) had asked the DJ to play the ‘Macarena’. As soon as it started him and my step-mum were straight out of their chairs with a speed that belied their aging years, and onto the dance floor, trying to drag some of us up on the way. (I have got 2 left feet and decided to sit that one out).

Anyway, off they went onto the floor with all the ‘youngsters’ . I can still picture to this day my dad’s face, eyes closed, totally oblivious to everyone around him, concentrating on the music and the steps he had to do. I roared my head off when it came to the hip thrust bit, although a bit alarmed that with the effort he was putting into it, his back might give out! He was having a whale of a time, and stayed on the dance floor for quite a while!

Not only did he like to dance, but he also loved music. Although he couldn’t read a note, he could somehow manage to play anything by ear, and he would sometimes sing along in his rich melodious voice, whilst the rest of us would bang on a tambourine, or plink on the electric keyboard to accompany him! So much better than sitting in front of the tv!

Needless to say, Dad reached out and grabbed life with both hands, he wanted to experience lots of different things. He loved food, and had a very hearty appetite (he was never overweight though). I don’t think there was anything he wouldn’t eat; even though the rest of us wimped out at the hottest curry, dad would relish it. if we were too fussy to eat out food, dad would polish it off, as he hated waste.

He was also very articulate and knowledgeable. It seemed to me that he knew something about everything! Education was extremely important to him, and he always tried to encourage us to do well at school (whether we wanted to or not)! He was the type of man who mixed easily with anyone from any background. He always found something interesting to say, and had a wicked sense of humour (I hope that some of this has rubbed off on me)!

My dad sadly passed away a couple of years ago now. He still did as much as he could right up until he was no longer physically able, and still kept his positive attitude throughout…I was feeling a bit down today, but thinking about my dad, has put a smile on my face, as he was always such fun to be around despite his dodgy taste in swimwear!

Episode 47: Ooops I Did It Again!

November 16, 2014/Judy E Martin/Leave a comment

I am the undisputed queen of ‘putting my foot in it’, literally as well as figuratively! I just seem to attract calamities and disasters, and can make a fool of myself without any help, or encouragement whatsoever!

Often it is because I have misheard something, particularly on the phone. Once I have asked them to repeat themselves a couple of times, to make sure I heard correctly, I then confidently pass on the message, only to be greeted with a baffled look or stunned silence. For example, I took a call for my boss (he could give Mr Grump a run for his money) when I had not long started at a travel brochure company, I put the call through and informed him it was Mr X from PMT. When he had reluctantly taken the call,he came out of his office and roared at me that the caller was from TNT (the courier service)! I had thought that PMT was a funny name for a company but being new, what was I to know)?!

In my younger days, I remember going out with my two sisters to a pub, I had dressed to impress, and we went to the bar to order our drinks. It was quite packed, but luckily there was an unoccupied bar stool next to me so I thought I would make use of it. Being a little short, I kind of had to hike myself up a bit to get on it. Once I had plonked myself down, I realised I was not on it properly as it tilted dangerously to one side. As I attempted to right myself, I just ended up twirling round and around on one stool leg at a time. My sisters and some random bloke put their arms out to try to steady me, which eventually they managed to do. However, my pulling power was greatly reduced (actually it was zero), and we got out of there pretty soon after!

Weddings are the place where people like me can really shine in the glow of embarrassment! My sister and brother in-law had a beautiful January wedding in a country house where we all stayed. As luck would have it, the weather was pretty clear on this day and we went outside to have some group photos taken.. I was really pleased with my outfit, but especially the expensive purple four-inch stiletto shoes which really set it off! As we were gathering for the family photo, my lovely shoes seemed to turn into ice skates on the decking where we were standing. I was slipping and sliding, falling madly with my arms windmilling, trying to keep my balance as I hurtled my way towards the rest of the group. The gasps and guffaws of the onlookers intensified my mortification, but I did mange to stay upright!

At my niece’s wedding breakfast after the speeches, I was to read out a poem that I had specially written for her and her husband.(It is something I have done for years for any special family occasion), Even though I am no public speaker and get really nervous, I got up to recite my poem. Everyone was giving me encouraging looks as I started reading with my voice shaking. As I continued, I realised that my fancy headband was slipping a bit. I tried to surreptitiously push it back up and carry on, but I jerked a little bit and it fell off with an almighty clatter onto the table, thus drowning out my words! I waited for the laughter to die down and carried on..cringing!

These are just a few of the many little trials I face on an almost daily basis. Even at work, I am not immune. I have tripped over more Zimmer frames than I care to remember, cleaned up countless puddles, where I have knocked over washbowls or jugs of water, and gouged out tracks in the polished floor where I hadn’t taken the brake off the weighing scales properly when wheeling them along the entire length of the corridor! Luckily my colleagues know what I am like after all this time, but I remember when I hadn’t been there that long. I was walking along the corridor back to the ward from the toilets when the ward sister behind me called me and informed me that I had got my dress tucked into my knickers thereby showing off my big bum to all and sundry…nice!!!

Episode 46: Turning Full Circle…..

November 15, 2014/Judy E Martin/8 Comments

Me and Mr Grump go back quite a long way (30 years to be precise)! We first met at a small Army Barracks where we were both stationed. I had literally just got out of basic training and was still quite a shy and quiet 18-year-old (One of the reasons I joined the Army was to ‘come out of my shell’ a bit). He was a cocky and confident 21-year-old Army chef (definitely a good start there, he loves to cook, I love to eat)!

Anyway, I didn’t pay that much attention to him at first, preferring to concentrate on the food he was dishing up. I had not been on the camp that long, and it was still a bit of an ordeal for me going into the cookhouse as it was always packed, and I didn’t know many people yet; however, if I wanted to eat I had to go in…simple!

I had made a couple of friends in basic training who had gone before me to this posting, and I ended up sharing a room with one of them,who went on to become my best friend (we are still in contact today) Karen, (this friend) and I decided to take advantage of the private strip of beach that we had on this camp, and headed off for a paddle in the sea.

We ended up going for a proper swim as it was a gorgeous, hot day, we had a little time to kill, and wanted to make the most of it. what I didn’t mention is the fact that, as it was an ‘off the cuff swim’, we hadn’t dressed for the occasion, and were just wearing shorts and t-shirts. Mr Grump, (actually back then he was spiky haired, and very lean and fit) and a friend of his had the same idea and were also having fun in the sea, swimming and splashing about.

They got out a little before Karen and I, and were just hanging around on the beach. As I came wading of the water, Mr Grump came over to me with his jacket which he thoughtfully wrapped around me. I thanked him for his kindness and we eventually went on to have a rather tempestuous two-year relationship.(oh, and he later told me that he knew exactly what was in store for him, as my yellow shorts, white top, plus underwear, had gone completely see-through in the water AND he had a bloody good look before bringing me the jacket to spare my blushes)!

We did get engaged during the two years, but were much too young and immature really, plus Mr Grump was being posted elsewhere and was a bit of a Jack-the lad in those days! We ended u going our separate ways, and although Karen and I both left the army after 3 years, Mr Grump continued to serve.

I came back to my home town, and life moved on…I did occasionally think about Mr Grump, and at one time, went to visit his mother in Wales for a few days. I didn’t see him at that time, as he was off serving abroad somewhere. Anyway, I ended up getting married, and much later I had my beautiful daughter . He of course also went on to have children and marry.

As I mentioned, I was still in touch with Karen, and one day she told me that she had seen Mr Grump on Forces Reunited, and that he would be pleased to hear from me. I was really shocked after all the time that had passed, but was so curious. After all, I had thought about him many times over the years, so anyway I bit the bullet and contacted him.

We sent messages back and forth for a while but then finally decided to meet up. I had been single for a few years as Miss Hap’s father and I had split when she was a very young baby. I had arranged to meet him in a local Supermarket car park, but he got lost as had to drive for a couple of hours to get there, Finally he made it there and seeing him was like the years just melted away (well aside from the fact that he had put on a few stone and his hair was bald on top and long at the back which he put into a pigtail)! That was it for both of us…. after a few weeks, he moved in, and six months later we married! (By this time I had got at him with the hair clippers, he lost a load of weight, I put a load on), but we were happy

Karen and her family of course came to the wedding, and she was one of our witnesses; Miss Hap was our gorgeous bridesmaid and we had a small, intimate ceremony (so intimate I didn’t realise the room would only hold 4 people (and the huge dress that I had chosen), so a few of our family stood outside the window looking in at us exchanging vows!! We did have a reception at the local pub though for everybody and it was a wonderful day.

It just goes to show, how unpredictable life is! I never would have guessed, that after being apart for 25 years, Mr Grump and I would not only meet up again, but I would eventually become his wife, even if it took me 30 years to do it!!

Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Author: Judy E Martin

Episode 55: Raining on My Parade….

Episode 54: Nobody Likes A Smart Arse!

Episode 53: Our Pet Pooch!

Episode 52: Optimistically Pessimistic!

Episode 51: Ode to NaBloPoMo

Episode 50: Rebel Yell…..

Episode 49: Cleaning out my Closet!

Episode 48: Dad Dancing….

Episode 47: Ooops I Did It Again!

Episode 46: Turning Full Circle…..

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