Ron was being pretty harsh with the prompt words this week for his weekly Haiku Challenge, however, I am ‘having a Judy moment’ and have found the perfect use (and image for them! So here is my take on ‘stag’ and ‘noise’
Typical stag Night
Strippers, booze women and noise…
Bride is furious!
Dear Patients’ Relatives
We are pretty flexible when it comes to visiting hours; 3pm until 8pm every day is pretty generous, especially as we also allow visiting outside of these hours for many other circumstances. This enables most of you time to spend with your loved ones.
We do ask you to remember however, that we appreciate how special your relative is to you, but so is every other patient on the ward. Sometimes we have to prioritize, and yes, we will plump your mum’s pillow up for her, but please, just let us deal with this patient first who is hemorrhaging.
We know your father might have told you that he hasn’t eaten today, but before you berate us loudly in front of everyone, let me show you his food chart, where you can see that he ate all of his porridge for breakfast and had a roast beef dinner for lunch, not to mention rhubarb crumble for pudding! You know he has short-term memory problems and often forgets, so please just check with us.
Oh, I know your nan has just had an ‘accident.’ I am just going to get some of our toiletries and a hospital gown as it seems that no-one has brought any in for her. Yes, we do have a small supply, but we tend to save these for those that don’t have any visitors or family to look out for them.
I understand that you want to help and in so many cases you do, especially when you encourage your relatives to eat, which they are more likely to do for you than us. Please be careful though that you do not give other patients some chocolate or sweets, as you may unintentionally cause them some problems, particularly if they are diabetic and are being carefully monitored, or if they have swallowing difficulties and need a special diet, or are even nil by mouth.
We love to see our patients happy and enjoying their time with you. All we ask is that, if there is something troubling you, please come and speak to us, before yelling. We are doing our best you know, and all patients are as important to us, as your relative is to you. sometimes, especially, when we are so very understaffed, we have to prioritize our care,so please have a little patience…
Keep Calm!
From The Nursing Staff
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I thought I would have a go at TJs Household Haiku Challenge this week as it seems a lot of fun.
Jumping on the scales
The figures climb rapidly
At my plump figure!
What a start to the Rugby World cup. Only a few games in, and there has just been a surprising result which has ended in tears (on both sides)! Japan(unplaced) has just played South Africa (twice World Champions), and won – by 35-32 points, and in overtime too! Japan are beyond ecstatic and, Mr Grump nearly screamed the house down shouting encouragement at the Japanese players which of course, spurred them on to victory.
The British Press definitely love an underdog, They always seem to focus their attention on reality TV contestants though. You know, the wimp screaming in the jungle, or perhaps the unusual looking person with an extraordinary talent and a decent sob-story on the X-Factor type shows. They also love a clumsy klutz in the dancing type of shows, whether it be ballroom clod hopping, or skidding on ice.
What makes me laugh though, is they build these people up, giving them lots of confidence and support, sometimes even rallying the public to their cause, before cruelly and seemingly for no reason, bringing them down. Running stories about their sordid pasts, criminal relatives, or even dodgy taste in clothes. It seems to be a fun game for them to play, seeing how far they can go in both extremes, in some cases ruining careers, and/or reputations.
I enjoy seeing people surpass others’ expectations of them. This is why it is so important to have faith and belief in yourself. That Japanese rugby team did and look where it has got them! No-one expected or even thought they would stand a chance against those South Africans, but they won.
Congratulations to them, what wonderful role models for the underdogs!
Poor old Mr Grump, he is not exactly a trendsetter, well neither am I for that matter! It is just as well really as Miss Hap has decided that she likes to wear only stuff that is made by the ‘right’ brand, which I touched on in this post.
The one ‘trend’ that I can’t stand is when young men wear their trousers around their hips and have half of their arse hanging out! Of course, they have nearly always got a waistband of a pair of Calvin Klein boxers poking out over the top. Presumably, this is the go-to boxer of choice for the young of today. Well, each to their own, but I don’t want to see them, and I have to almost restrain myself from telling them to ‘pull your bloody trousers up’ and have in fact, mentioned to my nephew that perhaps he might need a belt to keep them up!
Anyway, a long- standing joke between myself and Mr Grump is that I always moan about the price of boxer shorts, and he normally gets a three pair pack once a year (if I am feeling generous, after all, it is not even Christmas or birthdays when he gets them, it is extra).
About a week ago, we were doing a bit of grocery shopping in Lidl (a cut price German Supermarket), when I saw a pack of 3 boxers. I checked out the price and they were a couple of quid cheaper than we normally pay, so I (begrudgingly) bought him some.
I did laugh as a day or two later he was standing by our back door, and I happened to notice that his trousers had slipped down a little (this was more by accident than design). Not for him the fancy brand name on his underpants oh no, his were proudly displaying ‘Casual Basics’ on the waistband!
That says it all really!
Today we are going on a date for Writing 101! We are off to a coffee shop for a beverage of your choice (mine is a bucket of latte), and a quick catch-up! The only thing is, I will be doing all of the talking, so you will just have to sit there with a glazed expression, whilst I rabbit on.
I do love a virtual date as I don’t get tongue-tied or awkward, plus you won’t have to worry that you will end up wearing the coffee, after I have knocked it all over you in one of my clumsy moments! Anyway, let’s get on with it!
I would tell you over a coffee….that today is my first year Blogiversary, and that I am very proud to still be going with it.
I would tell you over a coffee…. that I am continuing to lose weight and have now gone from ‘obese’ to ‘overweight!’ (Bugger, I should have had a skinny latte)!
I would tell you over a coffee…. that the poll I did the other day about what type of things you would like me to write about ended with ‘things going wrong’ winning by 2 votes getting 13 in all.(You lot are cruel, but I also love to laugh at others misfortunes, so I’ll let you off)!
I would tell you over a coffee….that Miss Happ tried to pull a fast one today as me and Mr Grump have got days off by telling me she can’t go to school as her friend is off ill and that she is unable to get the bus on her own! (She was swiftly sent on her way)!
I would tell you over a coffee…. that I STILL haven’t got a start date for my new job yet, despite them telling me that they have all of the paperwork required (I am unable to give in my notice until I get it)!
I would tell you over coffee…. that yesterday I got not one, but two beautiful bouquets of flowers. One from Mr Grump, and one from my sister and niece who visited unexpectedly last night, armed with some beautiful red roses.
I would tell you over coffee…. that I can see you are bursting to go to the loo after that huge drink, so I will shut up now!!!
Who would have thought it? I have reached a milestone that, just over a year ago I would never have heard of, let alone be celebrating. Yes, I have been blogging now for a whole year!
It’s funny, but I am extremely proud of my little blog. I can understand how authors consider their book their ‘babies,’ as I am of a similar mind about my blog. I gave birth to it, nurtured it, coaxed and cajoled it. I have fed and clothed it, making it look as pretty as I can with limited resources and experience!
I am delighted with the friends I have made because of it, have oohed and ahhed over other people’s babies’ achievements and milestones (even been a little envious if they are more advanced than mine)!!
I am humbled when others praise it, want to visit and interact with it. That puffs me up with parental pleasure and pride.
I have taken on challenges, learned many new skills, stretched myself in ways I could never have dreamed of, and not only that, enjoyed it all immensely!
Thank you to each and every one of you that reads my blog, interacts, comments or shares, please know that you are all very much appreciated. I am sure that had I not had such a warm and friendly welcome to this wonderful community, I would never have lasted this long.
Because of you all, I am still here a year later and intend to be here for as long as you can put up with me!
Thank you 🙂
It’s the end of the week, which means that I have got a tasty selection of treats for you to enjoy over the weekend. There is all sorts this week, from a short and very sweet Haiku, to a very sad open letter which really touched my heart and also some laughs in-between. As ever please go over and visit these blogs to see what other delights there are in store.
But I Smile Anyway Ritu always manages to bring a smile to my face with her sunny nature. This post really tickled my funny bone!
Stuff and What If, Olga’s Haiku has all the ingredients for a sweet post.
Of Means and Ends I happened across this post, and was appalled when I watched the video. So it seems, was this blogger.
Chris, The Story Reading Ape’s Blog Now I love a good put-down or comeback, and this is a prime example!
A Cooking Pot and Twisted Tales This is a fellow Writing 101er whose blog I have just started following. This letter was so touching and heartfelt as well as extremely tragic.
Hope you all enjoy these as much as I did.
Happy Friday!
This is the last day of the 3 Day Quote Challenge that my blogging friend Erika nominated me for. Please visit her blog for enlightenment, humour and wisdom, along with lots more.
I have really enjoyed this challenge; I have been looking for quotes on humour as that is what my blog strives to achieve.
I have found this one which sums up humour as a whole:
I like people who make me laugh. I honestly think that laughing is the thing I like most. It cures a multitude of ills. It’s probably the most important thing in a person.
-Audrey Hepburn
Here are the rules of the challenge:
My nominees (should they wish to accept) are:
Dear Self-Confidence,
I am so proud that we have finally forged a friendship after a life-time of avoiding each other. Of course, I knew of your existence when I was a little girl. but you were always in the distance, hanging around with Outgoing, Popular and Fearless, whilst I played in the shadows with Shy, Timid and Awkward. Actually these three were to remain loyal companions for many, many years.
During my school years, you were still just a little out of reach, and I coasted along with my usual crowd, and joined up with Average, and Unremarkable. I always wanted to get to know you, but you became more elusive when I got caught smoking, and ended up in the Deputy Head’s office. She rather firmly introduced me to Failure, Shame and Embarrassment. That was it for the rest of my school days, I knew my place, amongst these friends and Failure in particular, was by my side during my battle with academia.
I nearly met you whilst I was in the Army, but Reckless and Drunken came into my life, which I mistook you for. Luckily, they didn’t stay for too long, and no real damage was done, despite a lot of fun being had!
For the next 10 years during my first marriage, you deserted me completely. What little I knew of you was literally beaten down by Violence, Fear and Worthlessness.I did meet a mate of yours, Courage, who helped me to leave this situation, and stayed with me for a while to help me out during my divorce.
I met up again with Failure, Drunken and Reckless for a couple of years, carousing, having fun and a bit of release, before realising that they were just going to bring me down, so I ditched them.
I did meet Achievement briefly, when I finally passed my driving test after the 6th attempt! Nerves and Failure kept getting to me, and it was only when I brushed them off for good that I was able to find Success.
Romance came into my life for a while when I met husband number 2, but unfortunately, so did Cold and Empty. Thank God when my daughter was born, Unconditional Love came to stay and has never left!
After a couple of years an old flame was rekindled, and now I have Joy and Contentment as my friends. This is also where I finally became casually acquainted with Self-Confidence.
You were a guest at my wedding, and we mingled with Happiness, Companionship, Warmth, and Belonging alongside my family and friends. It was a wonderful day….but the best was still to come.
After decided to undertake some more studying as part of my career, you suddenly started turning up more. You were there for presentations I had to do in front of the rest of the class, you came with me to work as I gained more knowledge, and of course you were there silently urging me on as I walked up on that stage in front of a couple of hundred people as I graduated
We have become closer than ever now, you and I, and I would just like to thank you for deciding that I am worthy of your friendship after all!
With love and gratitude.
You Best Friend.
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