Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 370: The Purpose of My Life! — June 11, 2015

Episode 370: The Purpose of My Life!

A Momma’s View has set a challenge and prompt that she had nominated me, and a few others for. In it, she asks for us to say what we think our purpose in life is and what we’ll take home when we leave.

It’s funny but this is something I rarely think about when I am feeling all happy and bright! It is more something I ponder when I am feeling down and grotty, However, this is going to be a positive post so any negative vibes can bugger off and leave me to my happy thoughts!

I always thought when I was younger that my purpose in life was going to be something to do with children. When I was growing up I always wanted to be a Nanny looking after other people’s children before settling down and having my own family with quite a few children of my own. After all, I was one of six myself.

Becoming an aunty when I was 15 years old only reinforced this wish, to nurture and look after children, and I used to get up in the night with my niece to give her bottles, and babysit as often as I could.

Well, for a number of reasons, it was not meant to be that I had lots of children (Although I do have some waiting for me in heaven), or even fulfil my wish to work with children as I went off and joined the Army instead!

Fast forward a couple of decades, a couple of ex-husbands and a  fair few jobs, ranging from working for the Department of Work and Pensions to working in a kebab shop. plus a few more in-between! Then I got a job in nursing!

I loved it. My daughter was very young then (about 2) and I was on my own, but I managed to get this job as a Healthcare Assistant at the Day Hospital, working mainly with the elderly who came in for a number of therapies and meetings, as well as to attend clinics. This seemed like the job I had been looking to do all this time.

However. my hours got changed after 18 months, and as my daughter was just starting school at 4 years old, and no longer attended nursery I had to look for something else! Funnily enough, it turned out to be in the local secondary school on  the ‘Student Desk.’ What an eye-opener. I have never been sworn at so much in my life! Suffice it to say it wasn’t what I had expected it to be (huge respect to you teachers)!

Anyway, I got back together with Mr Grump at this time after 25 years apart and we got married. I managed to get back into nursing and go to University for 2 years to train for a higher position as I wanted to learn more. Again, by choice, I work with the elderly.

I feel perhaps my purpose in life was not to work with children (although I am truly blessed to have my daughter), but rather to try to help look after elderly people. To offer them a friendly face and cheery disposition, and have a few laughs with them as well.

As for what I will take home with me. I think it will be the knowledge that I have tried really hard. I have tried to instill in my daughter old-fashioned manners and consideration, and despite the challenges we have both faced, I do know that she can be compassionate and kind to others when needed. I have tried to be a good friend, a good mum (not always easy), a good wife (3rd time lucky! The other 2 husbands were not exactly the best either) and a good worker (I know at least I got that bit right)!

I would like to nominate the following, should they wish to participate:

Hugh

Sue Vincent

Rich

Donna

Rob

Ritu

Joey

Episode 364: 3 Day Quote Challenge: Day 1 — June 8, 2015

Episode 364: 3 Day Quote Challenge: Day 1

I have been nominated for a great challenge by the lovely Erika.

The challenge is about posting your favorite quotes or your own quotes for 3 days in a row.

The rules of the challenge include:
Thank the person who nominated you
Pass it on and on and on.

When I was in primary school our motto was:

‘If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.’ I have actually pretty much followed this advice as I am quite a determined person who does not want to give up easily on something that I want to achieve.

My nominees for today are:

Wendy of the Rock

Breathing Life

But I Smile Anyway

Episode 361: You Know it is Summer in Britain When…….. — June 6, 2015

Episode 361: You Know it is Summer in Britain When……..

  • The trusty, rusty old BBQ that has been loitering in the garden for the winter has been dusted off, cleaned up, and put to work,cooking the nation’s burgers and bangers to that unique blackened outside raw in the middle state that us Brits are so good at!
  • Similarly, the plastic, garden furniture has been de-slimed and scrubbed up; the parasol dug out from the shed and de-cowebbed; and for some. the sun lounger has been dragged out, the mouldy cushions turned over, and are ready to go!
  • People are comparing their sunburned shoulders and backs, (We never learn).
  • The shorts are on! Yes I came home from work yesterday and Mr Grump had got the pure white milk bottle legs out. He would have worn his ‘mandals’ (those horrid man sandals) but I moaned about them so much last year, he got rid of them!
  • The bloody lawn needs mowing AGAIN! It was only done last week!
  • You see people doing ‘the wasp dance.’ You know the one, where they flail around madly, run a few steps, twirl around and start the whole thing over again. If you are lucky it might be accompanied by a bit of screaming (especially if it is me)!
  • The shops have sold out of fans again! If you do have one, the whirring and clonking noise keeps you awake half the night anyway.
  • Suddenly every cafe decides to serve a ‘cream tea!’
  • It’s raining! Especially during Wimbledon
Episode 360: If You Can’t Stand The Heat…. — June 5, 2015

Episode 360: If You Can’t Stand The Heat….

I mentioned before that us Brits like to moan about the weather and are never satisfied! Summer started off as a bit of a damp squib, but today was a balmy 25 degrees Celsius, (around 77 Fahrenheit) and we had a couple of thunderstorms chucked in to mix it up a bit. so it all amounted to a very humid and muggy day with bursts of beautiful hot sunshine

A couple of weeks ago my boss sent my to the laundry as one of the pens had leaked in my dress pocket leaving an unsightly small black blob over my left boob, and she wanted me to go and get it changed. I didn’t dare tell her that the stain on that dress was pretty old and the mess I had made on my dress the day before was much worse. Instead of leaving the ink stain alone (it was one of the gel pens) I decided to rub at it with an antibacterial wipe, thereby spreading this huge black mass over my entire boob!

I went to the laundry and sweet-talked the assistant into letting me have the one dress that was there (not many people wear the same uniform as me) and she put in an order for 3 more which would take a few days to arrive.

That was fine. I dropped off the other dresses the next day and was off last week anyway. I went back to collect my new dresses on Tuesday but was met by a very sour assistant who was not happy that I had managed to swap all my dresses, and moaned that her colleague ‘had only been there 5 mins and didn’t know what she was doing!’ Anyway, she gleefully told me that mine hadn’t arrived and they didn’t have any in my size (which she decided to say out loud).

Great, that left me with one dress. I went back again after a while. still not in. I wore the dress in yesterday and although I did manage to get it washed, was too lazy to iron it this morning so wore my tunic and trousers. It was unbearably hot up on that ward today. Most of us had sweat literally dropping off us (what a shame that fat doesn’t melt off in the heat). I wished I had ironed that dress!

The nice assistant from the laundry phoned me up to let me know that my dresses will not be ready until 17th JULY, for Christ’s sake! When I got home I had a lovely heat rash around my ankle just above my socks. Nice! Looks like that one dress is going to get a lot of wear over the next month and I am going to have to stop being too lazy to iron it I might even have to hope that the weather is grotty again!

Episode 353: The Power of Technology! — May 31, 2015

Episode 353: The Power of Technology!

Thus morning I actually had a lie-in and didn’t get up until 9am which is unheard of for me! Nobody else was awake as we had a bit of a late night and after the other morning I decided to just let everyone else sleep in, especially as it is Mr Grump’s birthday today (yes he is another year grumpier)!

Anyway, I went into the bathroom, and the light didn’t come on, so I thought the bulb had gone, However, on going downstairs, I realised that we had a power cut and nothing was working! Oh, this is novel, I remember as a little girl we used to have quite a few power cuts and Mum always had some candles and a torch handy so at least we could see!

Seeing as it was well into the morning I didn’t need any of those, but I did want a cup of tea. Luckily we have a gas cooker so I just boiled up some water, no problem. I usually go on my laptop early on but with no internet or electricity I had to give that a miss. Hmmmm, what to do?! How did we amuse ourselves before technology took over the world with its hypnotic powers, drawing us in and keeping us occupied?

I went on my mobile and looked at my notifications from Word Press. I had a few comments so decided to reply to them, only to realise that I can’t send it as I have no internet. Now what? I know, I’ll play Candy Crush on my tablet, I am doing quite well with that. I started playing but then realised I had to connect in order to progress, but I had no bloody internet, damn it!

I am not very used to silence either, I always put the TV on first thing to watch the news for a while whilst I catch with reading some blogs, but of course that was out, so I read for a while. I do read a lot but never in the daytime, preferring to relax just before I go to sleep by reading a good book. I did enjoy the 20 minutes or so before the power suddenly burst back into life, but felt really tired!

The others finally got up soon after and although Mr Grump does not like to make any fuss about his birthday, we gave him his presents and sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to him which I think he enjoyed. Miss Hap is at a friend’s tonight for a sleepover so we are going to have a nice quiet night in together.

As it is his birthday I bought him the latest ‘Lord of the Rings’ DVD in 3D which he is watching now, and I haven’t even moaned about it once! I hate those bloody films and just cannot get into them at all. He is sitting there though, as happy as Larry, Roxy not far away from him as usual. What a shame it would be if there was a power cut now!

Episode 351: Wakey, Wakey! — May 29, 2015

Episode 351: Wakey, Wakey!

Now I am quite an early bird, and get up at 05:15 when I am working,  so it is almost inevitable that my body clock wakes me up early even on a day off. I am at my best in the morning anyway, and can quite happily get on and do things until everyone else gets up and our day begins.

Mr Grump usually gets up earlyish as well, but he had been out last night and had a few beers with some of my family, so was a little ‘tired’ this morning! Miss Hap, being on school holidays is also loathe to get up too early as well at the moment.

My sister had phoned at 8am so I had a nice chat with her for a while, but by the time it got to 9am I decided it was about time Mr Grump got up as I had chores for him to do! Anyway I went in the bedroom and he was sound asleep with Roxy snoring at the bottom of the bed (not even she had bothered to get up)!

I got in bed, he didn’t move. I pinched his arm, he muttered and turned over. Roxy had seen him moving and decided that she was well overdue for her walk. She went to the top of the bed and licked Mr Grump’s bald head! Her tail was swishing against the wooden headboard and making a bit of a clonking noise which was obviously irritating Mr Grump as he told her to get down, which she did!

I was annoyed that he didn’t get up,  so I went in to see Miss Hap who was half awake. I had a little cuddle with her but she was tired and heavy-eyed so I went off downstairs to make a cup of tea (noisily)!

About 10 o’clock Mr Grump finally clomped downstairs and got himself ready to take Roxy out for her walk. I was cooking myself a boiled egg for breakfast but decided that Mr Grump would probably have breakfast when he came back, and I told him I would wait and have breakfast together.

I didn’t! I had been up for ages and my egg and pitta bread were ready so, in the end,  I decided to cook a bit of bacon to put in with it. I was just finishing it off when Mr Grump and Roxy came back from their walk. I picked the last slice of bacon up with the tongs and I don’t know what happened but it ended up straight on the floor to Roxy’s delight!

I was fuming and stomped off to eat what I had left! Of course, it was all Mr Grump’s fault for getting up late, and me having to cook my own breakfast!! It put me out for the rest of the day!

Episode 348: What a Clucking Fuss! — May 27, 2015

Episode 348: What a Clucking Fuss!

Here in England we have some really lovely old buildings, some of them like this old pub, go back to the 8th century, and they often have weird and wonderful names too, which tend to have a history behind them.

Ye Old Fighting Cocks in St Albans, Hertfordshire, is officially Britain’s oldest pub as verified by the Guinness Book of Records, but its name has ruffled a few feathers with animal rights group PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals).

They suggest that the name should be changed from ‘Ye Old Fighting Cocks’ (its name since 1872) to ‘Ye Old Clever Cocks’ as chickens are sensitive and social animals and should be portrayed as such. After all, they argue, cock fighting was banned in the UK in the 1800s, and modern people are appalled by the thought of them fighting to the death.

The locals however, are outraged at the idea of changing their pub’s name, which they think is quite mad. No chickens were available for comment, as they were cooling their heels in the local Police Cells due to being kicked out of ‘Ye Old Fighting Cocks’ for drunk and disorderly behaviour!

I do love animals but honestly, this is taking things a little bit too far! I am sure the chickens couldn’t care less what the pub is called!

Episode 344: Here Comes Summer! — May 26, 2015

Episode 344: Here Comes Summer!

What a pleasant day it turned out to be today. As we have just had a Bank Holiday, and the kids are off on half-term, the weather forecast had been rather gloomy for this week (typical), so to see the sun shining this morning was a bonus.

Yesterday my younger sister had given me some cucumber and tomato seedlings, 2 sunflower seedlings and some sweet peas to put in my garden as Mr Grump has not planted anything this year. Luckily, the rosemary, chives and rhubarb we had previously as well as my roses, are doing pretty well, so our garden will not be too sparse this year after all!

Anyway, Miss Hap was out with her friend for the day so I got on with a bit of housework, but had a nice unexpected visit from my sister-in-law. We then went off to pick up my little sister from work and went back to her house to sit out in the garden for while.

My sister (Masterchef) likes to makes an occasion our of everything, we sat outside drinking Earl Grey tea from pretty china cups (she kept glancing over at me as I am usually not to be trusted with anything delicate due to my clumsiness) and tucking into a huge platter of cheese, gammon, feta cheese and biscuits.

It was so lovely sitting there chatting, as we rarely get to spend time with each other. The garden looked beautiful with the flowers and plants just coming to life, the sun was shining,and we all were laughing. It was such a simple pleasure, but gave me a much-needed boost to my mood!

Oh and when I got home I got sunburnt – but of course being me, it is only on the one arm! Classy! 🙂

Episode 341: Romantic Old Fools! — May 24, 2015

Episode 341: Romantic Old Fools!

Ahhh romance….I remember it well (just about)! As time goes by, it seems to go out of the window a bit; take Valentine’s Day for example, I was not feeling very well this year and it ended up as a bit of a damp squib as you can read here.

Mr Grump does sometimes bring me home some flowers, but he no longer bothers to take off the ‘reduced’ sticker, and I oohh and ahhh over the rather tired looking blooms, happy that at least he thought of me.

We very rarely sit cuddled up on the settee together now watching some sort of romantic movie either. We changed our furniture about 18 months ago and he now has an armchair (yes he is an official Old Git), whilst myself and Miss Hap have the nice big settee to ourselves. Not only that but I nearly always fall asleep watching films (apart from the Disney ones of course)!

Well last night Mr Grump lit the candles as usual but then disappeared off to the shed. I wondered what he was up to, but after a bit of banging and crashing around, he returned triumphant with a load more candles. He faffed about digging out some more candle holders and placed them all over the front room creating a lovely atmosphere.

He informed me that he liked to have things nice for his wife (he had been at the beer). and as Miss Hap had gone upstairs by then thought he would put on a bit of 80s music which I always enjoy. I even got a bit of his ‘twerking’ thrown in as he did here.

After a while of singing along, the mood changed as George Michael’s ‘A Different Corner’ came on. Mr Grump thought it would be nice to have a smoochy dance to it like in the ‘old days.’ Fine, but it isn’t the hold days anymore! I had on my pjs for a start, but I trotted up to him and we had a bit of a dance.

It seems as if we were a bit out of practice though (although shuffling about in a circle is not exactly difficult). I trod on his foot, which meant that he was kind of pinned to the spot, so he told me to,

“get off my slipper!” I did so and he was free to shuffle a bit more. The problem is that going around in a circle after a few beers is a little bit dizzying, and he stumbled landing heavily on my ingrown toenail! Suffice it to say, we decided to sit it out!

Episode 340: What A Plonker! — May 23, 2015

Episode 340: What A Plonker!

I had to laugh at a bit of news I just stumbled across. A guy had left his bike chained up to a pole for a while only to find it missing when he returned. Enraged at the dishonesty of people he decided that he would leave a note outlining his displeasure! He thought he would throw in a bit of advice as well to the perpetrator,suggesting they might like to return the bike with a new lock and ‘re-evaluate your life choices.’

Someone had written a note under the original, addressing the bike owner as ‘Bozo’ and pointed out to him that perhaps the city authorities might know the whereabouts of the bike. The reason for this was that the bike was illegally chained to a handicap pole. The author of this note also suggested that perhaps it had been removed as it may impede a vehicle that requires wheelchair access.

Bloody idiot!

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